Hahay...Hunger...

Hunger is a desire to be filled in particularly with food. But hunger can mean a desire to fill up the ego. In my not so remote past, i wanted to excel to get the attention of my family. When is started working, I wanted to be noticed. But when a certain post to lead was given to me, I said no. You know why? I was one big critique to particular leaders. And so i was afraid that when i lead, i would experience the same (whahahhahahahh walay klaro noh?)

At first i don't really understand why i see a lot of bouts among leaders (almost everyone of them wants the spot on top :-) ew) and when a new ones comes out and up, the older ones are threatened (why man oi? don't they know that new ones may bring in something new that may help or refresh leadership practice?).

Actually, i was a victim myself by a threatened leader and i thought of shunning it off and not giving in to such insecurity. I have a choice as to how i would respond to the situation. I could still choose to improve myself and enjoy my beautiful moments and opportunity to lead:-). The thing is, the more i hide, work and be invisible, the more i get noticed (chuvaness hahahahha). Do I have a problem with that? At first i did. Now no more. I just have to get the job done and put in as much love as i can...

work...work...love..love... ( sa tinuod lang ga labad ako ulo sa ila oi...hahay...but pasagdan ko na lang...mas maayo i ampo ang mga katugulangan hahahahhaha)

To close this, i would like to post this qoute : "...their hunger increases as their humanity fades away". This one i don't like a bit :-(

Competitions vs Personal Growth and Joy

http://hopeforyourfamily.com/2010/01/26/tug-of-war/
Someone told me last week "you are a strong competitor to them". I was like "ouch"...what happened? I mean to some of these people. Actually, someone from the previous workplace happened to utter those words and we were both laughing at it.

For the past years, i strove not to give in to competitions but pushed myself to improve my crafts and the person that i am. Sometimes i feel threatened when i see some strong personalities or someone displaying great skills, capacities and the potential to become someone in the organization. But the more i focused on them, the more i forgot about my capacities and improving myself. I was never happy with that later. I get to loose my balance if i give in to competitions.

Though i focus on improving myself, i still strive to detach from myself and ego so that i would experience the joy of it all...:-)

Emotions and EQ

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/200908/regulating-your-emotions

Through the years, i have experienced the ups and downs of emotions. And so when i came across a topic in my post graduate studies entitled Emotional Intelligence, i dove and browsed through the book, reported it in class, researched more on the topic and made a beautiful craft of Human relations skills training workshop applying its concepts.

Emotional Intelligence is presented by Goleman in one of his definitions based on Aristotle's statement as “the rare skill to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way”. It is such a rare skill since, i rarely find such kind of person (or perhaps at one point i may be able to do such and in another instance i loose the balance). I humbly admit the the difficulty i went through in dealing with myself and my emotions.


This one definition puts my nerves and temper to one of life's greatest tests (i had lots of battles with emotions for the past years...at present ...i am learning to befriend them heheheh). Emotions shift from time to time. I would like to share in this article the 5 domains that may help anyone that may have undergone such a terrible time with handling emotions and point to some outside factors or causes to blame than "looking" within and manage oneself.

The five domains by Goleman are as follows:

1. Self-awareness
For Goleman, self-awareness is being able to identify and name the emotion. Not being able to do this, ownership is not possible. This also includes being able to evenly hover or neutrally observe the emotions as they occur and to at least point to a particular trigger or cause.

2. Managing Emotion

Managing emotions call for the initial skill of self-awareness before one is able to manage it. Moreover, managing emotion is an art. One's uniqueness puts him / her in the spot of managing emotional encounters according to one's personality. Some would like to divert with sports, go to some solitary plight such as the beach or exclusive places such as retreat house. Some would prefer staying in the private confines of a bedroom. Others would prefer reading books, finishing a chore in the house, window shopping (or shopping kung may pera hahhahah), watch comedy movies, etc. But the best so far i had to divert, yet focus is prayer ( i like to linger in front of the blessed sacrament even without saying anything...). After which, i feel a great release of my soul from the entangles and attachments with anger and many other overwhelming feelings that i experienced.

3. Motivating Oneself
Despite the emotional upheavals, one is able to push through with the day. This part says that one is able to stay positive with life and keep oneself on track despite and inspite of.

4. Empathy

The popular statement that says "being able to put oneself in the shoes of another" is best translated also as pakiramdam in Filipino. Being able to sense others feelings is built on self- awareness. As one is able to sense oneself and be aware of the movement of feelings within, manage it, and life life despite of, one becomes more sensitive how others feel through facial expression, sound of voice or body language. Research says that 90% of our emotions are unexpressed and so they leave us figuring how others would feel that may lead to misinterpretations. The greatest and powerful communicator of nonverbals are our eyes. They are the windows of the soul. One may be able to insist on certain facts about oneself through words but the eyes reveal those unexpressed and those that cannot be defined by words (i'd say ...much stronger than all thunders combined hahahahhaha....based on experience po hahahhah).

5. Social Skills

The higher one is able to handle the first four domains of emotional intelligence, the more he / she becomes successful in relating with others. Who would like to be with a highly volatile personality except the one that is able to handle himself successfully in terms of emotions.

Since 2005, i facilitated a workshop applying the above concepts (to teachers, school administrators, guidance counselors in the province, graduate school students, seminarians, Church workers and recently the corporate world...and many other groups in the past)and taken from other sources also for they held me captive since the participants were greatly hit and entirely captured by it (actually their positive feedback motivated me to continue facilitating this topic). Though concepts of Goleman were used, the activities were originally designed so that they may illustrate how a participant should go about each domain for self explorations and exercises.

Recently, in my Human Resource practice, i thought i could shift to other ways of dealing with human relations concerns, yet my heart brings me back to integrate EQ and still get similar and strong responses from participants.

It has been five years since I started using the concepts in my trainings and i cant find any reason of stopping except to continue and enhance it ...The thing is, i have not yet mastered myself yet, and so i just can't call any halt. I and my future participants will work hand in hand in improving ourselves. I and them are still a work in progress:-)

The Unique DANG

When you’re just like everybody else, you’ve nothing to offer other than your conformity. - Dr. Wayne Dyer...

The statement above by Dr. Dyer led me to this writing that says... The unique child inside Glenda named dang has a lot to offer. She just sank in self pity as she was always compared with her siblings when she was a kid. Surprises of all, she began to come out during those years in college when she had all the strength to pursue what she wanted like taking up Psychology, moved up to masters, dressed up unlike the others (swift and mild style that spoke of grace), pursued singing (not really careered heheh) in college, danced so well, started to design modules and gave talks in her Catholic Christian community and many more...

As she slowly came out from herself, she just became so vibrant with life...she likes to laugh and giggle. She is soo funny and so spontaneous with jokes. She likes to animate. And she has her unique way of praying such as visualizing Jesus and the Father (heaven is visualized as a playground and where she can simply hop on the Father's huge bed or sleep at His feet or threw stones at the heavens or bite her angel's wings...chillax folks...imagination lang:-)).

Though she likes to talk, she likes to listen, too. She cries when she feels like or when listening with sad stories shared by anyone (actually when she is both happy and sad...she cries heheh odd ha).

And i tell you she feels a lot and has strong intuition with how others feel. She is so sensitive and can read feelings written on the face (that's why she can easily respond when she sees pain...in the eyes of anyone).

She can fashion and refashion different encounters. She can calm down an angry soul...simply because she listens and accepts without question. And, she is so crazy in love and humbly embraces the need to learn more in this aspect.

Oh so wonderful creature....Beautiful Dang. She is simply splendid, marvelous, awesome...And now she found more of herself through writing, designing and continues to explore her capacities. And instead of pursuing the world's fashion...she found passion...to serve in everything she does.

I would want to declare that I LOVE DANG AND I THANK GOD FOR CREATING HER...HOW WONDERFUL HE IS THAT CREATED HER...I CELEBRATE WITH THE UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL...INSIDE...GLENDA:-) AMEN!!!

P.S. GOD must be soooo BEAUTIFUL... Dang is just a glimpse of HIS BEAUTY...OMG hehhe as in Oh My God!!!!!! can i contain Him when i see Him one day?