Wednesday, December 28, 2011

SO SHORT A LIFE TO MESS UP

http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/human-relation.html


I learned one of the lessons on relating with others through my husband. At times, conflict arise from small to big things. We have gotten used to it when we were still singles. Good thing we lived separately that time so we could have those space and time more than enough to process things prior to our scheduled time to talk.

However, we are both confronted with the same concern when we got married only that we now live together. The luxury of that space and time is no longer available given the living arrangement. We are challenged to face each other immediately. That was kind of difficult at first.
At my end I tried the old way of doing it such that I kept my space and silence in his presence but it did not help at all. It prolonged the pain. We both realized that the old way of doing it won’t help at all. And so we tried something that would work out for both of us such as:

1. When there is a concern or issue, we immediately talk about it.
2. We try to talk on regular, normal tone of voice ( that which only both of us can hear heheh).
3. We both try to focus on the issue and not point on some past events that were already dealt with.
4. We include appreciating each other’s effort
5. When these things are discussed, we decide to let go of it and move on.

At my end I deliberately decide to personally resolve and to consciously keep watch so as not to go back to any of it. I do not want to go out of the house also carrying the pain at the beginning of my day. Since I always decide to start my day right, anything negative that would come in between is not allowed to eat up my positive energy. I would then hold my husband’s hand and say still my “ I love you”…”have a nice day today hon”… or “I am sorry””we will make time to talk about it” …and end it with “God bless you or us both”.

Let me deviate a little…This is such a short life we have. From the last typhoon Sendong (Washi) and quoting one victim Bevs : “Let us treasure every moment of our life because we never know WHEN and HOW it will end, “ I could now readily sing my day with joy and hope with myself and everyone I meet that I can decide each moment to live it to the fullest and treasure what I’ve got.

There are so many challenges living in this world. Aside from the pain that we may be inflicting with each other intentional or not from our own ego stricken relating and encounters on a day to day basis. Why can’t we just decide to enjoy each others’ company and put them over and above the desire to be on top of our jobs, school, community, country or the world.
For all we know, when we die, we won’t be asking how much money we’ve got, or if our business is on top or if our properties are well kept and managed, etc. In the face of death, we would then be going back to our own hearts, looking for people close to us and whom we would want to be with in our deathbed. We would then be spending our last few moments with them which we did not dare share when we could have lots of it prior to the end of our lives…

The time that we have spent hurting others then should be a deliberate decision to spend it in loving them. In this manner, we would be able to say at the end of our lives that we have given so much of that love than its opposite when accounted for the kind of lives we lived.
To quote an unknown writer to me : “ Let me do whatever good I can do at this time for I shall not pass this way again…”

To my husband Mike …living with you and loving you each day is the most beautiful growth that I have ever experienced in my entire life…:-) Thank you for sticking out and growing with me. I love you honey:-)

PS : Let us all strive not to give up on anyone even those that seem to be very difficulty to deal with....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

GOD BROUGHT ME THESE GREAT INDIVIDUALS…TO “MARKET” HIS MESSAGES


More than a year ago I felt like I underwent a journey of reawakening through the help of a Jesuit priest in the person of Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ. First and foremost, I would like to especially honor this beautiful man of God for bringing me closer to my heart, my calling and my God during those series of sessions of "grilling".
Divinely inspired, Fr. Frank pushed me to write…to blog... to be specific from where I resisted and reasoned out that I wanted to keep my life private, away from the "limelight" (char lang). That was always my drama of resistance. But of course I was not forced to do what I am doing right now. Yet slowly (by His grace), I got out into the daylight little by little and opened my blog site without my spiritual director's (SD) knowledge (at first).
One day, then, I finally had the courage to tell him that I started one already. From there, he reiterated a previous invitation to open a Facebook account. Which again, I resisted because (again hahahha) for the reason that I wanted privacy. Such was the drama I faced with my ego’s bout and defense not to be known.
Unknown to me also, some of my batchmates tried to track me at the same social site but to no avail. Later on my own cousin -batchmate Jack Demata "cornered" (sorry for the term) me in a chat room and an old childhood and high school friend Zuthchiin Vallecera (really i felt like God would want to jail me already for running away so many times ...away from what He wanted me to do).
Added to that, I was also being led by a former head servant of a Catholic Christian Community ( Sowers Field Community) Rolando "Kuya Lando" Mesias to post my blogs at Facebook to cater to a wider audience. And so the idea to open an account was taken seriously for the purpose of sending the messages of my blog site.
But, I did not give up with the idea on privacy (hahahhahaha so stubborn me). The process with my spiritual director, Fr. Frank made me confront "generosity". Since I was following a program for the formation of the lay through a live-out 19th annotation retreat., generosity, as one of its topics of grounding the self led me far into the biggest issue that God wanted me to face. Generosity not only with material things but self-giving through the wisdom that He gave me during my formation.
My formation with Fr. Frank led me to leap higher and deeper in generosity that no longer hides the self in darkness. I had to come out in broad daylight regardless of what people say.
I was not a writer in grade school, high school nor in college. I was just an "onlooker" admiring great writers in my classess including my favorite authors that have written from the heart like Bo Sanchez, Dr. Wayne Dyer and many more. I was just me, plain, crazy and simple, associating with simple folks in school maintaining an identity unnoticed by many (trying so hard hahahahah).
Even up to now, I write in crooked lines which many times I don’t mind at all. But I do edit as much as I can after my raw blog being posted with my some oohhs and ahhhs. A lot of times too, I leave them as is creating that path of acceptance of my own imperfections. I just like it at this time in my life to shed off whatever is left and I could catch to combat my ego and to keep it from bloating (harharhar). I keep my heart silent after each piece to submit to a process and “language” deeper than man’s rules of writing. Well you should have seen me writing my title over and over again from beginning, middle and at the end ( so that’s what you call your great writer ha ..hehehhehe) before I finally publish it.
Lastly, If up to this point my facebook account is still alive, it is for such purpose and for these wonderful individuals – Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ, Jack Demata, Zuthchiin Vallecera and Rolando Mesias ("kuya" Lando) to whom gratitude and honor I give through this writing including those individuals that have read my blogs and have continually inspired and encouraged me to keep on writing .
This blog piece will not close without including the comment of the following person who identified himself/herself as ORDEP and whose comment was posted in my blog entitled ALL IN A DAY – December 2011 (this comment "brought me down on my knees" in tears and in humble acceptance of my "mission"...to continue writing)... :
Dang, are you not aware that you were given a task, in silence, to tell this story to us? This is a humbling act, which would compliment the grief and hatred. I like the way you relay the event, though painful in reality, but compassionate and encouraging. You turned the tide from pain to mercy, discouragement to hope and down - up and move on ... GOD has given you the strength to post this message to those people in distress. Thank you so much! "ORDEP"
THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL OF YOU:-)

Monday, December 26, 2011

A MESSAGE SENT BY AN "ANGEL"


http://free-extras.com/images/angels-2802.htm

…The Typhoon Sendong simply brought that strong command through an extraordinary being whom I call an Angel stating “Do not come back in this place”… an account shared by one of the survivors.

It has been days since I last touched my blog site not until yesterday’s encounter with a particular flood victim. She recalled going home from work amidst the heavy rain. She was then forewarned by someone in the house where she lived that they may be vacating the house the soonest.

Since the water had risen faster than she thought compared to the usual little flooding (she lived beside the river dike) in their place, she took some things with her including a bag containing some valuables. She braced herself hurriedly outside of her room locking her door followed by a power interruption.

That time she already felt the intense fear and anxiety of what might happen next. Her attention was called by someone in the house to locate and prod her to join them in their attempt to move away from where they were.

While she was promised by someone she called “kuya” in the house that he would come back for her, she struggled to stay on the dike (where they passed by everyday to the highway) beside heavy running water of Cagayan river.

That time, she already felt close to breaking down as she found the water level rising up her knees as she kept herself on top amidst the flowing current. She recalled with tears how she managed to stay with herself intact amidst the challenge of staying on the dike and not to be carried away by the strong current of the water ( That was such a life and death thing for her).

She said further that she stood faithful to the promise of “kuya” that he would come back for her. She was already trembling and while she made a loud cry begging for help, a kind gentleman that she was not able to identify offered help and grabbed her by the hand and silently swam bringing her and another person to a dry land. She was not able to see his face nor thank him for his help because she couldn’t just stop crying.
Before this gentleman bade goodbye, he warned them saying “Do not come back in this place…”. And paved his way back to the flooded place which to her assumption, he was going to rescue some more people.

Well at my end, I was wondering how such a man could carry 2 individuals swimming such a long distance holding them both tight through their arms using his left and right hand on a deep heavy flowing water.

You know why I am sharing this? This is something extraordinary among those I heard and accounted by those that survived. During the sharing, I was seeing beyond what was there. I felt a strong warning “not to go back” by Someone up there through an extraordinary being sent on a mission to save those who are meant to live.

I am not certain if you could resonate with what I “saw” and “felt” in the story. But something just popped up inside me while I listened to that account.

Firstly, that man is no ordinary man. I felt also that he was not alone doing the thing he did. If the heavens allowed such tragedy to happen, there were many of these “men” dispersed as commanded by the Highest Power to set aside those who are not meant to crossover yet. (With the many accounts of those that survived, there were always “avenue” where helps were made available leading them to a realization that they were still meant to live and may still have that mission to fulfill.

Secondly, at my end, I felt that those who have passed away, painful as it was , had to respond also to the call to be in the next life. Life ends in there… in that flood but does not mean they are damned and condemned to be in pain forever.

Thirdly, I still see God’s mercy in everything. Those who may have survived may feel “lucky” to still have kept their lives (hahahhaha as if we can keep our lives as easy as that…so sorry for that…but Someone up there is in control). But I see more of a challenge and a call “not to go back” as commanded by that “stranger” that saved my friend. That command can be a strong and direct instruction from the heavens not to go back to an old life and start anew. For those that survived, that “stranger” whom I now call an Angel of God is at His strong command to send a message to all of us to start afresh and not to mess up anymore with life.

This Christmas season, we have the message from the heavens to “make a straight path for the Lord” and “not to go back” with that old life that may have put our humanity down – bathed in sin and insensitivity to our brethren.

Fourthly, the reality of God’s messenger sent on purpose to warn man. The warning “not to go back” may mean (or perhaps mean) another flood can happen. From this I see a God protecting us through His messenger/s. We cannot allow anymore lives wasted through our stubbornness by going back and build up our homes again in those places affected by the flash flood (Though some families opted to go back for reasons that they have no place to stay and so they are rebuilding their homes from the debris and remnants of the typhoon. I do hope the government would remain true to its promise for relocation …not beside some hilly parts of a plateau land area…as I heard it).

Lastly, I feel right now that angels are everywhere and that one extraordinary being may have represented a MESSAGE strongly sent to all of us to simply live our lives well so that at the end, we will not anymore ask or beg for second chance at life.

One day in the future, we can just smile and say… "we have done what we had to do as His servant and have done it well for His glory"….with eagerness of seeing Him regardless of the circumstance of our death or wherever our material body would go or be placed (sadly a lot of bodies were “initially” placed at a landfill…). And so we could care less about our body (what do you think?).

The heavens has dispensed its true message through that “Angel” that would want all of us to simply prepare and look forward to… going HOME by “not going back…” to our old life.
Let us all start together :-)…by God’s grace and strength…YES WE CAN:-)

PS : To Cindy (Cinderella Tafalla) ...thanks for entrusting to me your story of survival...God bless you!...you led me to write this piece..:-) Again... Thank you...

Monday, December 19, 2011

Some Facts and Reflections After the Typhoon Sendong - My Heart's Outpouring


"So many stories to tell but I could only share as much as my words can afford to define...the rest of those stories are stored in the vast storage capacity of my heart" - Dang


It was such a heavy day yesterday(December 17, 2011). I feel that I have not gotten over its weight yet. So full packed as an experience. Today and the succeeding days would be something like a moving on. I woke up earlier this day (December 18th)despite my illness (cough, colds, and little fever). I still opted to go to the Church for the 3rd day of the dawn mass.


 During the mass, there were few things that I found so meaningful and essential for all of us mass goers. The priest stressed on our direct responsibility towards our neighbor. He stressed further that one kilometer just downhill from where we are, are our immediate neighbors directly affected by the typhoon. He invited all of us making it our priority to extend our help in all sorts monetary or in kind.

Truly, everything during the Eucharistic celebration and by all means was like God’s cleansing and re-birth of my person. I was like shedding some parts of me that was so long asleep from social consciousness ( though at times I find writing / blogging to be my response to God’s invitation). Involving myself to my community is my faith response.

From my heavy emotional bout yesterday, I thought I would be able to get some good rest after church service.

After the dawn mass, we had some coffee at my sister’s house at the same time, we found ourselves just can’t stop thinking and discussing about it. Few minutes later, our attention was called by someone informing us of some water supply made available for the subdivision. We aligned ourselves at the plaza, met few acquaintances, met old friends and many more individuals whom I have not really met for years including kuya Butch, one of our brothers in our Catholic Christian Community at the Cathedral.

I also rushed to and from when another fire truck came. I tried to skirt myself in the line but to no avail. I went back to the previous truck running and had so much fun. I did not really realize that I was on for a race-like and bout just to be able to fetch that water I need to sustain me for days (still alone in the house...este with my dog).

Though the company that I am working with scheduled an outreach program distributing food (snacks – our product plus water), I opted for a more tangible stuffs to give such as used clothing, blanket and sheets. My sister also initiated calling some members of our family in Bukidnon for used or old clothes (that can be of course used ). We planned of putting them all together to be given away this week.

Going back to water supply, sadly, there was no enough water for all of us. We went home with my nephew Nickey that took over our spot but still he went home bringing all our buckets and containers.

I took a rest myself since i did not feel well again. I ate my late lunch when i received a txt message from a friend that my dear friend Tish and her parents were included in the flash flood. I was told that they were trapped in the house. I was goose-skinned all over with my disbelief. I was crying and crying. But had to help and deal with myself. There were a lot more people that I know were victims of the flood. But, let me cut short my emotional outbreak here. Instead, I will relate with you the accounts of those that shared with me about some of those they know that have become victims of the flood:

1. A father survived over 3 other members of the family that rode with him in their car. When the entire car was shook by the strong current, the wife, went out and was "robbed" by the heavy current entirely bringing with her the two other children. All of them were missing. The husband was in deep trauma.

2. Former officemate was displaced to a far place El Salvador from Isla de Oro, a place left barren after the flash flood. Her father, grandfather and 2 cousins are missing. Her mom was rescued at Camiguin Island

3. An officemate, who after her family saw the fast rising of water level up the knee paced themselves out of the house into the street from where the roaring sound of strong current splashed and pushed them to the next neighboring subdivision. Some of our officemates accounted that as she decided to let go and allowed herself to go with the current, she suddenly stopped making her realize that she was on top of a car. When somebody just cried for help, she automatically extended her hand while the person that cried for help locked her arms. She was happy to know that she was able to help her own sister. Her mom up to now is still missing.

4. One high school teacher that lived at Isla De Oro was swept away from his place together with his entire family - son and 5 month pregnant wife. The son was missing while his wife is in safe condition including himself. He was rescued in Opol ( I am not really certain of the place...but it's a little farther from the family's location).

5. One gross incident I know is that the entire village of Kala-kala with more than 500 families was being lambasted too by the strong current of the flood leaving the entire place barren. All houses were gone.

6. A father tried to rescue his entire family by lifting each on top of a mango tree (3 children and a wife) after which the same tree fell bringing down all of them with another coconut tree that fell and covered all of them (except the father).

A whole lot more stories to tell. But, I would rather tell you also the miracles brought by the typhoon Sendong.

1. Two sisters of an officemate went up to the roof using a fallen trunk of a tree. After they were able to go up the roof the tree fell from the house.

2. A 5 month old baby was rescued at a far El Salvador sea side. The baby was so alive and playful with his rescuers.

3. A lot of people rescued in other far flung places like Iligan, Camiguin, El Salvador, Jasaan, Opol, etc. (coastal areas) so whole and alive (despite the trauma)

4. The miracles of a lot of volunteers in Cagayan de Oro City and from all over the Philippines. I just feel the awakening of the entire country and even those outside. If there was a flood of great despair. There was also a "flood" of great hope from all these people's kindness of heart extending themselves in service.

5. Lastly, as i was browsing my previous blog prior to this writing on "The Search for the True Spirit of the Season" (just type in the search box of my blogsite - December 2011), I found this statement from my writing ..."I guess I wanted the real 'miracle' of Christmas". This same statement put me back to tears.

Though, I could explicitly say that the miracle this season is Jesus being born into this world, this December 2011 Christmas season...the real "miracle" is the focus we have on our brothers and sisters, forgetting ourselves, giving up so many things and our private selves to be one in the struggles of our brethren.

I have also seen so many heroes of our current situation in Cagayan de Oro, the whole Philippines and outside of the country. I take so much pride in saying that we are so like the image of the Father into this world. We are so like also the image of the salvation brought by the Son. And we are so like the Spirit bringing the great Wisdom of His love into the lives of our ailing brothers and sisters.

Again, "the heavens could smile at all of us". The "bomb" of truth has been let down. This Christmas is our awakening...painful as it may seem but I feel so much of the truth of His love burning in our hearts.

Let me end this blog with a letter to my my Beautiful Friend Tish Yrastorza. :
My love and prayers I offer for you my dear friend Tish. I love you dearly. So sweet, charming and beautiful scent of offering of life to the Father. I did not expect such life of yours would just end like that the day before your birthday. But then I am still thinking, perhaps God would just want you to have such a grand birthday celebration in heaven on your birthday with the presence of both your parents. But my God...so painful my friend to have seen you last week with all smile and to just leave like that. I hope you are now having such a wonderful time in heaven:-) But...we are not having such a wonderful time here left by you and your parents and all those that crossed over the next life:-(

I miss so much laughing and giggling with you...with all those crazy stories we had and of course those checking and howdy's if we you are married or I married ...and a lot more:-) I will definitely miss you my friend:-)

My love and prayers,
Dang

PS: I want to remember my friend like that of the photo i attached...I heard that her body would be cremated today...I don't know anymore what to feel:-(