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I held myself from looking at
him. Yet I knew that I was bothered by
the site. I starting to think of my own daughter that I
dearly and carefully take care each day.
I was then running the thought “Feed me today”. All of a sudden I was on the verge of
tears. Did I just imagine that line or
Someone may be dictating me to do that.
But I said “no”. I would be
embarrassed in front of everyone in this
café.
Yes.. Embarrassed was the word that I was thinking. I did not want people around running the word
“hypocrite” in their mind. “Or was
I really a hypocrite?”. I was
trying to validate my own thoughts. After
a short while the printed documents were handed to me. I decided to settle at one side so that I could
arrange all of my documents before I
would rush to the Philippine Regulations Commission’s (PRC – Region 10)
office.
While I was doing that I was
trying to steal another glance at that little boy that at this time looked like
“catatonic”. What I meant was, he seem
to be not moving at all and so unaffected by any customers that passed him by
from time to time. I was holding my
breath. I was deeply hoping that he
would notice me and may perhaps ask me for some money or food to eat. But there was no sign or any hint that he
would be doing that.
I remember what the priest that
celebrated the Eucharist at lunch time mentioned before he gave his final
blessing “do any act of kindness today”. And I was again moved to tears that I just
held so as to still compose myself despite the struggle to extend myself to
that one boy in need. I then prayed for
courage. I already felt that time that I was not imagining that voice inside me
that said “Feed me today”. I had to feed that boy that moment. I bravely stood up, approached him and asked “did
you eat your lunch?”. Did I
just say “bravely”? hahahaa. I never
thought it would take such huge bucket of energy to be able to approach him in
that situation.
He was not at all responsive
with that question and gave me that blank look.
I repeated “do you want to eat your lunch”. He nodded.
Then I said “come with me”.
With that I was no longer
conscious who those people that witnessed
my invitation. I was armed with
courage to make that one boy in need to make him eat that moment. I saw the need. I responded.
If I was his mother I would not do anything in the world to just leave
him on the street. I will take good care
of him at least in that …moment.
I brought him to a barbecue
station. He was sort of shocked to see
varieties of food that I pointed for him to choose from so that he could have a
good lunch. I bought them and asked one
of the servers “palihug ko atimana siya”
(please take care of him) since I
was already rushing. He did not look at
me since his eyes were busy with his food being prepared in front of him. I payed
and tried to steal one last look at him trying to check if he was fine
before I went out of that barbecue station.
I was like floating when I went
out. You know why? I realized that just one small act of
kindness was like that sparkling water cleansing me from my selfishness and
self centeredness. One small act of kinds created a miracle in a day not only
for me but perhaps to those that may have “accidentally” witnessed such event.
I realized also that it is not
the fear to be embarrassed in front of others but the fear to be talked about
and labelled by others contrary to the gesture.
It is the pride to protect myself from others’ speculating and judging
eyes.
Perhaps I got embarrassed
because I rarely do it. I guess I just
have to do it more often so that I may not be so conscious of what others
say. I needed to get used to doing acts
of kindness so that I would be healed from being so focused with myself.
Can you relate with that?
PS…That voice was God’s
inviting me to “Feed Him …today” through that one boy that needed food to eat.
Guide
Questions:
1.
How would you be able to extend your “one
small act of kindness” today?
