A Morning Of Awakening

http://kevinplarson.com/category/articles/theology/

I brought my daughter out of the house this morning just to get some early morning fresh air and sunshine.  I rarely do this on a weekend yet it was something that I needed to do since she was not really such in a good mood that I had to bring her out of the house.  I felt though a sudden shift of mood as she gave me that excited shout and giggle while she traced her steps on the street slowly until we reached the end of the street.

From there, I was a bit bothered by what I saw…3 kids collecting garbage. The other one is of the same age as my daughter.  I was throwing them questions like “from where are you, where is your mother, etc.”.  I then tried to ignore them as I decided to focus on my daughter.  I was ushering my daughter to come with me so that we could take the stroller this time.  We decided to again pass by them.  This time I saw the little boy of Mikaela’s age placed inside the box like that of a dog.  What was so disturbing for me was that the boy was so dirty and without pants.  I took a deep breath and held myself while we passed by them.  I tried to focus and entertain my daughter and again we passed by them so that we could finally go home this time. 

When I reached the gate, I finally declared that I will at least do something to help in anyway I can.  I brought in my daughter, placed her inside her crib and requested my husband to take over for a while.  I then announced what I would do and that it won’t take long. 

I thought since they were collecting garbage, I could gather all the empty water containers and give it to them.  The desire to help progressed such that I went to my bag and got some cash.  I wanted to give the money to the eldest.  Yet when I got near them, the baby was crying which made me ask if they had breakfast.  I got a negative answer at that so brought them to the carenderia across the street and requested that the three kids be allowed to sit and be served. 

I guess I shocked the entire “workforce” at that.  One of them (one of my friends in the area)  joked to the other customer stating that I am the manager of DSWD starting to pick up some kids in the street.  Hmmm I joined them in that joke yet we all continued with choosing food for them and so they ate.  I paid the bills and gave the change to the eldest.

I went back home and met my husband that was asking me about what happened.  I could not give him all the details yet not until I was done.  Again, I shocked my husband when I got a one of Mikaela’s, short pants and a white clothe which I damped with water, squeezed and gave it to the eldest instructing her to clean up her brothers after they eat and let the youngest wear the pants. 

I decided to leave that carenderia with that simple joy in my heart yet so sad realizing how poverty can be so devastating and disturbing.  When I got I home narrated everything to my husband.  And I told him, it was the realization and an awakening when my eyes travelled from them to Mikaela and back to them.  The realization that we have taken good care of our daughter.  And this Saturday morning,  she went out of the house fresh from bath, wore fresh clothes, ate her breakfast and drank her milk and vitamins and that seeing those kids without their mother or father or parents taking care of them.  I was made to ask the  following questions :  where are their parents?  Why are they looking for food at an early morning?  Why do they have to work for themselves so that they can eat?  Again…where are their parents? ohhhhh huhuh.

When I did some short interview, the eldest told me that their mother is also out on the other subdivision to get some garbage.  There are 5 of them children that do not go to school since their parents could not afford it.  I was so heartbroken.  When I became a mother, I started to feel  the pain of children not being taken cared of by their parents.  I feel the pain of children being  abandoned due to parents’ selfishness and immaturity.  I feels so much that I realize, I could do something in my own little way.  And I could do some trickles of kindness in my own state.

After all the narrating that I did to my husband, he said "that’s why corrupt government officials have to go to jail".  And I said…that is a big OUCH!!!

DESIRE NOT TO BE KNOWN

http://www.mosta2bal.com/vb/showthread.php?t=1634

I had a chance to come across one Dominican priest through one of our Values Education books.  His name was Fr. Anthony Holfstee.  He faithfully served in a Leprosarium in Caloocan city Manila, Philippines for 37 years and refused that he would be interviewed stating “there is no use to write about my life, God knows what I did” ( I hope I translated it right…the book was written in Filipino – Sulo 1).

Let me share a little about the desire not to be known.  Hmmmm…my version… I did not like to write few years back because I did not want to be known.  I had impure thoughts.  I fear people talking about me.  I felt that if I would write, others may only find faults about me.  And I did not want that.  I want to preserve the smooth version of self….the safer side.  I felt that doing that was more appropriate and I could just remain silent all my life.

I realize from that version that it was not really the true desire not to be known but the fear of those prying eyes and opinionated individuals that will only find flaws about me.  With Fr. Holfstee, I feel it to be a holy desire.  Something that sprang from prayer, humility and more than anything a grace given my God to desire “not to be known”. 

The truth was, my selfish self wanted to be known.  I wanted so much people to know about my achievements.  When someone would set me aside or when I was not entertained in a particular office or when someone favoured more the other over me in certain life’s circumstance, I wanted to be known or shout at the top of my voice just to be heard and known that “I am not what you think I am or that I could do more than what you think I could”. 

Lo and behold…God shared me that grace…to simply desire not to be known…that is why I am shutting off this blog site.  Because I don’t want to go futher…hmmm just joking…I can see you eyes bulging and going out.  Hahahha…I will never do that.  Just the desire not to be known…that’s all…hmmm I can see you not satisfied. 

Desire not to be known.  How will I put it in my context?  I could say it is so hard given that I am keeping this blog site and it may not at all relate with that Dominican priest’s desire.  How do I resolve and meet up then with that?  When I read about that priest, I declared it to be a rare gift given the current times venues where you could easily publish yourself with different networking sites.  And I truly say it to be a Divine grace that comes only from a continuous contact and union with God.  At my end let it be me desire to slowly forget myself more so that I may continue to declare God’s goodness through the may victories I have in His name.  May my writings be centred to Him that gave me the gift to write.  May all those that drop by and read the writings in this site be more God-conscious forget more themselves….Amen…

God bless you all in your journey:-)