Lessons on Death

I just talked with one of our trainers the other day. He tearfully recalled his conversation with his sick father. He was so in pain thinking of the possibility of loosing him. With the initiative of his father and promise to get back with life if given his second chance, he saw the drive slowly picking him up towards recovery. Unfortunately, the doctor's statement mentions the possibility of not recovering and a worsening condition.

Tears were shed in the family. Yet, as the eldest he had to pick up the strength in order for the other members to thrive in their situation. During our conversation I also bare my heart telling him of the the temporal nature of life compared to the life beyond.

Loosing my own mother also posted a new shade of color to death. Death as just an entrance to the other dimension - the beyond. If sickness makes us suffer, it is through death that the spirit or soul is relieved (without yet considering the condition of life after death).


I have an enormous amount of "death" experiences lately also such as when "chacha" my puppy died, fathers of 2 co workers (one of whom is the father of our trainer - yes...he passed away) and the last was the seminarian mentioned by Fr. Frank SJ that was found dead in his room yesterday morning (i don't know the reason why) and a one "near death experience" of a childhood friend.

No matter how painful is death to us humans, it still taught me the following lessons :

1. Valuing relationship

I have missed moments of encounters with my loved ones or even with strangers. Lately, I have been doing lots of things in haste without considering quality. As I itemized persons to meet in a day and get things done, people have become things for accomplishments. Work has translated my days of encounter with persons into mechanical things. It is so draining now that I have to accomplish things many things. Encounters have become...let's get things done so that i could do the next ...huuuuuuuhhhh What a life it would be if i would continue with this kind of behavior.. I can go crazy hahahhahaha.

And so I tried ( with the help of God's grace) to shift mode into "you are everything I have at this moment" mode...so that I can savor and appreciate encounters. Though struggling, I can see the difference. Life giving and enreaching


2. Finding time to be with loved ones

We don't hold time nor the future. But we only have each moment. But we have to find the time. It does not have to be an "accidental" encounter (though i dont believe in accidents) It has to be an effort to reach out and find the time to be with the loved one. And so finding love isn't that hard...it is starting the move and reaching out...

I remember a friend that spends lots of time at work and goes home middle of the night and finds her husband and kids asleep. The following day - a Sunday is supposed to be a family time but people at work keeps on contacting her. The husband got so disappointed with her and so he and the kids went to the beach by themselves (without her)...So sad ha...

She would keep on reasoning out that without her job her family could not survive (well the husband has work too)


3. Acceptance and Letting go

When my mother died, grieving took its toll for more than a year. If not for my abnormal Psychology subject, i would not drag myself to a halt and face healing. Hehe AbnormalPsychology says that the normal grieving period is one year, beyond that, one needs help already. I did not want the labeling of me becoming crazy (absurd ha hahhahahahah...) I simply got on my beautiful feet and knees and declared "enough!!!!)...I have to accept and move on. But do you know that I felt like a zoombie for one year?...hahahah now you know ...toinks


4. Death as the entrance to the next life

This one takes the leap of faith. I have not seen anyone that came back from death experience (though I got some information from youtube through some accounts of death experiences) but I do believe in my heart there is life beyond this life....where sufferings in this life dissipates...(provided we live the WILL of God). This is a no joke thing for me. After my 19th annotation retreat, death had new meaning. Death can be physical and the death to sin to prepare to life beyond. And so I had an impression that this life is but temporary...i could have more of it beyond...

I have suffered a lot with looses but if it has to be this to enjoy the next life, then so be it...I can wait the bests of the bests if the reward is such a beautiful eternal life.

Well chacha and mama...I believe they have met already...if chacha deserves and angel to take care of her the whole time...i guess it is much much better than my capacities.

And so shall I say now that death means that we need a much better hand to take care of us? I believe so ...and so we might as well not worry anymore of anyone dying except that help them lead the good life to prepare for life beyond...or perhaps we can start it with ourselves ...:-)

What do you think?

(note : raw and unedited heheheh)