A Morning Of Awakening

http://kevinplarson.com/category/articles/theology/

I brought my daughter out of the house this morning just to get some early morning fresh air and sunshine.  I rarely do this on a weekend yet it was something that I needed to do since she was not really such in a good mood that I had to bring her out of the house.  I felt though a sudden shift of mood as she gave me that excited shout and giggle while she traced her steps on the street slowly until we reached the end of the street.

From there, I was a bit bothered by what I saw…3 kids collecting garbage. The other one is of the same age as my daughter.  I was throwing them questions like “from where are you, where is your mother, etc.”.  I then tried to ignore them as I decided to focus on my daughter.  I was ushering my daughter to come with me so that we could take the stroller this time.  We decided to again pass by them.  This time I saw the little boy of Mikaela’s age placed inside the box like that of a dog.  What was so disturbing for me was that the boy was so dirty and without pants.  I took a deep breath and held myself while we passed by them.  I tried to focus and entertain my daughter and again we passed by them so that we could finally go home this time. 

When I reached the gate, I finally declared that I will at least do something to help in anyway I can.  I brought in my daughter, placed her inside her crib and requested my husband to take over for a while.  I then announced what I would do and that it won’t take long. 

I thought since they were collecting garbage, I could gather all the empty water containers and give it to them.  The desire to help progressed such that I went to my bag and got some cash.  I wanted to give the money to the eldest.  Yet when I got near them, the baby was crying which made me ask if they had breakfast.  I got a negative answer at that so brought them to the carenderia across the street and requested that the three kids be allowed to sit and be served. 

I guess I shocked the entire “workforce” at that.  One of them (one of my friends in the area)  joked to the other customer stating that I am the manager of DSWD starting to pick up some kids in the street.  Hmmm I joined them in that joke yet we all continued with choosing food for them and so they ate.  I paid the bills and gave the change to the eldest.

I went back home and met my husband that was asking me about what happened.  I could not give him all the details yet not until I was done.  Again, I shocked my husband when I got a one of Mikaela’s, short pants and a white clothe which I damped with water, squeezed and gave it to the eldest instructing her to clean up her brothers after they eat and let the youngest wear the pants. 

I decided to leave that carenderia with that simple joy in my heart yet so sad realizing how poverty can be so devastating and disturbing.  When I got I home narrated everything to my husband.  And I told him, it was the realization and an awakening when my eyes travelled from them to Mikaela and back to them.  The realization that we have taken good care of our daughter.  And this Saturday morning,  she went out of the house fresh from bath, wore fresh clothes, ate her breakfast and drank her milk and vitamins and that seeing those kids without their mother or father or parents taking care of them.  I was made to ask the  following questions :  where are their parents?  Why are they looking for food at an early morning?  Why do they have to work for themselves so that they can eat?  Again…where are their parents? ohhhhh huhuh.

When I did some short interview, the eldest told me that their mother is also out on the other subdivision to get some garbage.  There are 5 of them children that do not go to school since their parents could not afford it.  I was so heartbroken.  When I became a mother, I started to feel  the pain of children not being taken cared of by their parents.  I feel the pain of children being  abandoned due to parents’ selfishness and immaturity.  I feels so much that I realize, I could do something in my own little way.  And I could do some trickles of kindness in my own state.

After all the narrating that I did to my husband, he said "that’s why corrupt government officials have to go to jail".  And I said…that is a big OUCH!!!

Life Begins At "40"...

Here is a confession.  I turned 40 on January 8.  Haaaah...you need not count backwards.  I was born in the year 1974.  Oops why am i telling you my age?. Ohhhhhhhhhh noooooo.  But..ohhhh Yess...I will never stop myself from doing that.  I was inspired by one very popular author whose book I came across with 4 or 5 years ago named Eckhart Tolle mentioned a thought that sounds like ...if you hide your age, you have not really lived your life well in that particular age...

Big ooopps... after that, I declared I will never hide my age from anyone...hahha just to fake that I lived my life well.  Did I?  I cannot really totally say that.  But again i am ready for my answer anytime I am asked about age hahahha....But seriously, I have seen a little truth about it.  When i was warned several times over by friends to never ask them about age.  

You know what i have observed?  Let me start with the younger ones - adolescents....they want to look older so they dress up like adults.  But the older ones haaah ...that does not exclude me...we like to look younger. That is a little crazy ha.  But from the year that i declared that I was prepared for  to declare to anyone that would ask?  I felt and look much younger.  I just feel that truth and honesty relieved a lot of that tension from my body.  Waaahahahah please don't shut me off hahahah....and allow me to continue to blah blah blah blah ...perhaps there may be some truth about what i have in here that may spark you a bit hahaha....begging you ha.

They say life begins at 40.  I had mine almost 5 years ago.  I started to live life truly and with a lot of those struggles to be honest.  Ohh my ...it is not really easy.  But if if others define "LIFE BEGINS AT 40" to be the age that you start to do strange things that you did not do when you were younger or let out those issues went out and just burst so that others would just start doing foolish things that they may find it difficult to undo.  Hmmm there you are hitting the red light button of the biggest alarm in your life.  

Forty years of my life.  Hmmm and I am counting all the blessings that I have right now and the many beautiful learnings that have gathered by God's grace through the presence of my beautiful family - husband Michael and our daughter Maria Mikaela...and oops...my beautiful sisters below, my two brothers, and our beloved parents papa dodo and our late mama Gloria:-)...

Truly an Amazing God:-) Amen:-)  moving forward God...to my 41st...and beyond:-)

with my lovely sisters Grace, Gina and the yougnest - Gay......
m wd the black blouse...do I look 40? nyahahahhaa oops

Truly Free

 http://liveholiness.com/2012/03/thought-for-the-week-true-freedom/

Yesterday, I had a wonderful time talking over the phone to a close  friend named Vilma (hmmm..i call her lola....as in matunog na "grandma" hahaha in English..).  She actually consulted me with a particular address of a hotel that we stayed in Manila during our interview with the US embassy ( so sorry I wasn't able to give her the address.  But our conversation ran a little longer than expected such as how life has been since we had our last "date"  that was really more on updating with life. 

What really struck me was her decision to stop working and prioritize family and to get rid of being employed again and build passive income than employing oneself and be pressured.  Our discussion was very "dynamic" in a sense that we wanted movement in our lives. Movements as to going somewhere.  At my end would be ...to follow the dictate of my heart.

Since I stopped working, I had the most of time and space all by myself in the house except of course when my husband is around and I get to stop what I do and attend with him or just be with him.  But one time in my most alone moment "I simply uttered...thank you God for the space, the rest, and the very relaxed mood I have. 

Being employed or not is really a choice.  I was employed four times already and the longest was in the academe.  I loved it there yet, but I was led to a different route from where I felt so productive at doing things I never dared doing in the past (check out my other blog for more details on this :  http://dang-justaboutanything.blogspot.com/2012/06/taking-unpopular-path.html ). 

What contains me at this time is the writing that I am venturing into.  I never thought of doing this.  I was never even good at really being spontaneous and "exposing" parts and pieces of myself.  But by God's grace I was able to and slowly loosened up from reserving myself for the sake of the truth that I slowly found out in my journey. 

God's graces did abound in my journey such that :

1.  I risked leaving jobs

2.  I risked applying new jobs

3.  I risked being "exposed" through writing

4.  I risked being spontaneous and true to myself

5.  I risked not getting good opinions or not being liked with my very honest to goodness ideas in my writing

6.  I risked knowing and accepting others despite strange and challenging behaviors and personalities

7.  I risked a lot with loving and forgiveness

8.  I risked just being me

9.  I risked not explaining myself when situations get too uptight

10.  I risked  so much being different in the manner i do things

 ...and a whole lot more...

And it is so good to be free and not tied with what others say...(hahah this one i keep on repeating).  I guess freedom lies so much on not being tied with what other's say and TRUE FREEDOM when one is contained  in God's Love liberating us from any attachments :-) 

PS :  I could visualize myself walking without  those thoughts that someone's eyes may be looking at me at this time...hahahha....THANK YOU GOD FOR THE FREEDOM).

The Warrior Is A Child

http://www.zazzle.com/children_playing_in_leaves_card-137769287620218702

I have special love and attention with children. When I get tired and I become so busy with my daily engagements or when my world becomes so complicated, I talk to children. You know why? They are no fake. You ask them any question and you get their honest answer. You would even get honest answer that they don’t know the answer.

The song that I quote below was sang by Gary Valenciano entitled The Warrior is the Child. And why in the world would I go to children when it’s from them that says in the song “Warrior”. Well I am going to illustrate in here a different warrior (not the brutal warrior).

In my previous blog, I wrote that inside us is the spirit of a child that was born in the past. It became "contaminated" through the years that led to putting on masks  to give in to the world’s expectations that led to suppressing the child’s spirit in us.

Why am I sharing this one here? Lately, I was into making another major decision involving my career. Inside me I was grueling and pressing myself so hard about which I value the most between career and facing my responsibilities of motherhood and being a wife. Though my health may be well but I knew also that I could not go on performing so many things at the same time. I may appear strong and sturdy but at times the child within gets to stumble on her knees with that loud cry for "help".

So I see myself “winning battles left and right”… I feel success with a lot of things that I do. But I feel such emptiness at times. Something that I could not understand with success leading me to question its true nature. Success I guess without the feeling of fulfillment and meaning is nothing for me.

“They don’t know that I come running home when I fall down”. You know what? I am smiling while I encoded the previous line. Simply because…if before, I fear so much failure and falling. Now no more. Falling for me is learning and re-shaping for new things to come in. It takes a lot of humility on my part to embrace the reality that I do not really control everything that happens around me. Acceptance keep me on my feet. Acceptance for me equals going home…face my God in humility and say “I am just me God”. I really love it that way. No faking…flaws laid down… with my beautiful relaxed smile…hmmm… establishing that long term friendship with Him keeps me so assured with that Love…

And oh…when I am on my knees I just know in full confidence…the warrior inside me…holding on to that fight…so positive and poised with all the challenges… “He just picks me up when no one is around”. And I dust myself, clean up, put on new set of clothes, put on my new set of armor, sharpen my sword, more prepared for the next battle ... great wow.

Children just remind me so much of just being like that of kid's heart that just cares so less about the opinions of the world and looks up to just ONE PERSON that says with truthfulness that I am His daughter with a promise that He will be with me all the way.

Just read on the lyrics of the song below…feel it …you may see yourself going through the same journey. My thanks to all my children friends that remind me always to stick with being a child inside despite the dragging and temptations of the world.

Come “children” sing with me: 

THE WARRIOR IS A CHILD

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

Chorus:

They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while (Look up for His smile)
'Coz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child (Aahhh)
Unafraid because His arrow is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing [ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/warrior-is-a-child-lyrics-gary-valenciano.html ]
I never face retreat, oh no But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

Chorus:

They don't know
that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while (Look up for His smile)
'Coz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child (Aahhh)

They don't know that I come running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while (Look up for His smile)
'Coz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child (Aahhh)

The Conditioning

http://media.photobucket.com

Try to watch your thoughts in a day and observe how they run.  Check how much of those run positive and its opposite.  You see, I run company values formation series of trainings and I found out how much of participants thoughts are consumed by negatives. 

Looking back to how we were brought up, our experiences would point to how we were conditioned to think that way. 

1.       Do’s and don’ts at home

2.      You will fail if you will not study

3.      Be careful not to hurt yourself when you play

4.      You will be punished if you will come home late

5.      You are not as smart as your brother / sister

6.      You won’t amount to anything

7.      The weather is so hot, so cold,

8.      The day is so gloomy

9.      You look aweful

10.  With all the complains that we hear from our parents

(…and many more)

I am currently re-shaping that conditioning.  I am into a conscious effort and process of distressing my past such that I catch my negative thoughts as they occur.  I do my small assignment everyday and look back at each day how it happened.  I start correcting them immediately as they occur or at the end of the day when I do my review.

What is my point?  Behavior is a reflection of what goes in the mind.  The more we think negative, the more we attract the same and do likewise.  I have read several books already regarding this topic.  My experience also could validate these statements.

In fact the more I refocus and rechart the flow of my thought, the more I experience its positive impact and change in my life. 

Thinking positive is an art and it is grace to be able to sustain that.  In fact without it, thoughts bombarded and invaded by all negative in a day cannot withstand.  How do we get that grace? 

Let me give an indirect answer.  One time in one of my distressing activities with my trainees, I made them rest on the mat they brought with them.  I instructed them to close their eyes and to simply relax and follow my instructions and leadings.  I visualized them engaging in a very positive and relaxing experience that some of them just dozed off to sleep due to a very relaxed mode.  After the 30-minute exercise, the woke up so rested and relaxed radiating such positive disposition. 

They asked me how much time I gave them for such activity.  They were quite astonished learning that they only did that for 30 minutes.  They could not believe the short span of time spent in the activity.  But yes, they did it only for that amount of time. 

What I made them undergo was contemplation and meditation combined.  The exercise/s led them to centering and silencing of the self devoid of their daily concerns and the heavy contents of the sharings prior to that activity that was consumed by all painful experiences they have. 

Whether contemplation or meditation, they are  free.  It is such an easy access in a day.  It is made available to everyone.  Something like a free charging and recharging or our spiritual energy in a day.  If done on a daily basis can relax our brains, nerves, cells or our body and detaches us from the loudest voices and restlessness of the human heart.

Just how you do both?    Let me describe a simple process contemplation:

1.  Visualize a comfortable place or any part of nature and creation in your imagination (mountain, seaside, etc....go places that relaxes...you may engage in biblical scenes or events)

2.  Stay in that place and be part of the characters and converse with any character or perhaps with Jesus)

3.  Stay focused relaxed and just through the process

4.  You will have the message in the silence of your heart

5.  You may time yourself (20 - 30 minutes)

(from experience these relaxes the mind and heart)

 For meditation, you may do the following : 

1.  Close your eyes

2.  Focus on breathing in and out

3.  Resist the temptation to think

4.  Use a positive word for a mantra (repetitively said) such as

-         Peace, Love, Unity, healing, Father , Son, Spirit, God, Abba, etc.

Doing the above exercise on meditation for just few minutes – 1, 2, 3, 4, etc.  increasing its time everytime will bring in reshaping, relaxing, redirecting of thoughts, health and wellbeing, reconnecting with Source  - our God and many more good things that can be attracted to our lives.  Just a new and rejuvenated life is the most beautiful output it can produce.  From the most negative of the conditioning of our childhood years to a more positive views and outlook with life. 

Hop in and join me in this wonderful journey of deepening ourselves by shunning the negative flow of thoughts to a more joyful life of positive, grace-filled and a whole mind creating a beautiful partnership with our beautiful heart (In fact emotions are processed in our mind too…surprised?...i hope not).

PS.  Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, author of the book entitled, The Power of Intention, says that 17 seconds of pure positive thoughts is equivalent to 17,000 hours of work.

The Space In Between Stimulus and Reaction

http://farrymind.blogspot.com/2011/02/nature.html

There is that space in between stimulus and reaction. I call it a sacred space. You know why? It is a space where processing of information and weighing how to react happen. In Psychology, stimulus is that which triggers reaction. It is the basis and source of action. Sometimes blame is thrown at it after action or reaction. Reaction on the other hand, is defined in this article as an after effect to something or any circumstance in our life that did not pass through the process of thinking, processing and weighing. Reaction is manifested in action.

Why am I sharing this? I had an encounter last night with someone from whom I claimed something that was mine. I left it under his care for more than a month and it was gone. We had negotiations. I pulled out and felt anger creeping inside. Good thing I and my husband decided just to stroll a little to sort things out. I was still furious.

I wanted to go back and really fight for it. I was imagining all sorts of things to say in anger. I was rehearsing in my mind…all the “if he will say this, I will ask or say this” sort of things. But then I realize it may be too much for me to bear for the night. I was so angry while my husband discussed all possible options. I was not listening. I pulled out and went on “silent mode” that I felt I may be misinterpreted by my husband already. I did not want that to happen. I decided to discuss with him what happened with me …on and on.

And so…the space…that sacred space I am talking about in this blog. If this is not considered, this can ruin relationships and may lead to gross consequences. Based on readings and experiences, a lot of damages have happened related to this.

Space is just that moment to stop, wait, ponder, relax, not do anything, perhaps stop thinking for a while, breath life to its best, pray, and come up with the best action…I would say the most loving action in order to respond to the situation. Response is a product of a well thought of decision. Reaction is the opposite.

I have seen different facets of downfall in this regard. Let’s journey together and grow in this area… I tell you...last night, I asked God’s big dozes of His grace to keep me intact. I had His strength…nothing beats our God..:-) And then I realize that in those moments when I lost my hold, I might have forgotten to ask His help…

Can you relate with me in this?:-)

"Insist" to Stay Positive - Part 2

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kvwide1Se31qafojpo1_500.jpg

Well, I haven’t really shared here yet, that when I got back here in the Philippines the first time, I left my job in the university to shift to another career – Human Resource and I was disillusioned after 3 months not finding myself fitting to the challenges of the work. I found myself a much better option to go back to the university under the assistance of 2 Jesuit priests (president and vice president themselves) but to no avail. I was heartbroken and left again for the US.

My second come back here in the country made me leap into a spiritual direction – this time with more “grilling” with Fr. Frank, SJ (the first part was by Fr. Norlan, SJ). While I continued with it, I found a job related to training employees of a company as I searched more of myself. I was ready to plunge into anything. While the Joyfully Hopeful shirts were produced I started blogging. I found myself a great past time from where I was and am still able to extend myself to others.

On and off the season for writing, I found myself going back to it (writing). When I found myself beautiful books to devour by Dr. Wayne dyer’s ( Manifest your Destiny, There is Spiritual Solution to Every Problem and The Power of Intention), the way I look at things, events, people and the insistence on being positive with life are the greatest contributions of the books.

From the title of my blog, one may get an impression of a struggle since I use the word “insist”. I used such to give emphasis on not being carried away by all the things that our mind tends to process and interpret without checking reality. And even if reality is as it is. We can still insist (deliberately) and decide not to be emotionally carried with it.

My life has been a decision every day to live most of life. I “insist” on the following positive things that I can live for on a daily basis :

1. What has happened yesterday is over, I can start again today

2. I will continue to forgive the soonest

3. I will try to as much as I can radiate love than anger and hate

4. I love surrounding myself with positive people and things such as books, songs, activities, meditation (this time with my husband…heheheh we are now becoming partners to a lot of things)

5. I create crazy things in my mind to imagine good things to happen and all beautiful possibilities just to create a new path in my brain that was conditioned to capture the negatives

I decide every day to stay on the positive side though I feel several of those tempting negative emotion (this should not be misinterpreted as suppressing emotions…you may read my other blog on this site entitled EMOTIONS AND EQ- November 11, 2010). Lately, I got so inspired also when I read about a man named Matthieu Ricard featured at Reader’s Digest Asia in January 2011 as the Happiest Man in the World. His biography states that he is an author, photographer, former molecular geneticist, researcher, and devout Buddhist monk, and translator for Dalai Lama.

How did he get such a title? The most remarkable feature of this man is the fact that he had been practicing meditation for more than 35 years now. After those years, Ricard has become proficient in controlling his mind. Let me quote Readers’ Digest – Asia (January 2011) …”Looking inward to find joy rather than relying on external conditions he believes is the way to achieve contentment and wellbeing: ‘it is quite clear that the outer conditions are not enough. The way we interpret and translate those outer conditions in our inner experience is what determines either a sense of well being or misery”.

He added further that Ego and self-centeredness ..” are the biggest threats to true happiness” (well you could check out also my blog on Ego - August 30, 2011- just type in the search box) as I quoted Dr. Wayne Dyer with how he describes how it works).

Well, I may have too many things here but as I recounted the journey to finding the right attitude, I could say right now that I am not allowing my past to define me. I have the choice at the moment to live my life not pleasing to others but to my true Source ….God himself.

At times, I was being questioned by some individuals about the behavior that I displayed such as not being able to “fight” during arguments or to go straight with harsh words in order for someone to be able to sort of realizing or see things the way I do or should be. I guess I just have to allow my silence for a while to sort things out within before I plunge into a good discussion …not turning it into an argument.

I feel even more positive seeing that each one of us has the capacity to wait for the right time to say something in order to create the greatest impact.

Even Jesus when he was questioned and cross-examined prior to crucifixion remained in His silence and needed not to defend himself in the face of the greatest turbulence and test before his perpetrators. I should say that Jesus already gave us His greatest example.

http://www.simplemindpower.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/positive-thoughts.gif

Hey…what I am writing here my friends can be done. If a lot of peoples’ lives have changed due to a shift in mentality and mental attitude then it can happen to us…

Here… let’s toast together for much better behavior and life for all of us…

God bless us all!