Teach Yourself Humility

Let me share with you first a story of a boy who aspired to join a football team in school.  He joined a try out several times over to no avail. When he reached high school,  a coach gave him a chance on a reserve, always sitting on the bench while the rest of team went in and out of the field for the game. He never complained about his situation. Instead, he focused on harnessing his skill on the field joining practices.

Well, at your end you might as well suggest for him to give up on his dream.  Yet and still...again and again he never missed to join the practices. When he reached college, still he was taken in by the football coach but on the same position, that is a bench player.  

On the last year of his college life, his father died during the time when their team was  playing the championship game over the weekend.  His coach allowed him to go home for the funeral yet was just shocked to see him coming back so soon willing and eager to join his team for the game.  

In the middle of the game, 3 players were already injured.  There was an urgent need for replacement such that his coach was forced to allow him to get in.  And soon enough and with all his might, he raced through the field, running like the best player that has ever stepped on the field. The audience went wild.  His teammates were stunned as they saw him run, glide and managed to get through barriers until he shot the ball at the goal.

His coach approached him at one corner after the game so silent and asked about his silence with praises with what he displayed during the game.  And he said that he did it for his father that will only get to see him for the first time play since all the while he was blind when he was alive and his death may mean that he could see him play..

My point is ...humility.  The very player that was suspected to have not possessed the skill to be able to compete and play has become the best player ever that brought the win for the team during the championship game.

Humility from experience would invite us to keep and practice the following :

1. Silence

Being humble would entail a lot of silence. Like that of the football player that never complained about not being given yet the chance to get into the field. He waited in silence.  He waited for his time.

There are situations when we will be challenged to practice humility.  I remember when I was asked to give a talk to  a group of counselors in a region.  I was seated beside someone I know who was complaining about the factsheets prepared by the speaker.  All the while that she was so vocal about this,  she did not know that I was the one assigned for that talk.  I just simply commented " I will just discuss further each point".  So she realized that I was the next speaker.  I will not discuss further how she looked at me when I started my discussion.   

Silence entails a lot of listening.  It means more than excitedly blurting out complains or responses to people like what I did.   It would entail waiting for the right time to speak or the right time to be allowed to play, or waiting for the right opportunity for promotions,  etc. ....Silence entails a lot of waiting...for another person in your life to see the truth, to realize, to grow ... 

It also means being like a "Sponge".  When you silence yourself  you  absorb a lot such as feedback from others (positive or not). Learning and wisdom come easily to those who are willing to learn in silence and be like that of a sponge.

2. Acceptance

We desire so many things such as getting some brand new stuffs, a house and lot, latest brand of car, clothes, shoes, gadgets like cellphone, television, etc. and we feel frustrated at times when we don't get them.  Or when situations are not the way we want them.... You want to know what would happen if we fail to accept? We get discouraged or frustrated.  Some would lose the motivation to move on.    It will become a personal issue.  And when it becomes that, we would become bitter at not having the things we want so much. 

But, for a humble person, acceptance is a delight. It means letting go and move on.  It means looking at what you've got to thank for.  It means settling down and delighting with what life is offering him at the moment.  It means embracing life, being joyful while he is hopeful for so many wonderful things ...blessings to come in his life.  It means respecting God's will while staying faithful with what has to be done.  It means leaving them in the hands of God and the wisdom behind why things have to happen without even knowing why at the moment.  Acceptance according to Dr. Wayne Dyer means "YOU DO NOTHING".

3. Prayer

Prayer is the most wasted part of us being human.  At my end, I see it as an opportunity to submit...a real opportunity to be humble.  In fact prayer is an act of humility.  A person that prays is a person that embraces Someone higher than himself.  It means presenting myself and consulting  that Someone,- God himself in everything. 

It is difficult for a proud person to be silent, be like a sponge, accept and pray.  One can get into trouble easily especially when he or she is in front of proud people for they may get into proving and disproving each other.  But when he is with the humble ones, he is safe except that he may realize later that he or she may need to straighten or polish himself a bit.  

You see...prayer is the most important part.  You know why?  Silence and acceptance are its fruits.  Ultimately, if we want to learn humility we start with stretching our arms before God...kneel down ...and pray... so you can just waste your time...with God...in prayer...He loves company...and he loves the humbles ones.

What do you think?  Can you relate with it? 

My Heart's "True North" This Christmas of 2014

the Christmas mass - December 25, 2014

I was so dead busy for the past months.  And when Christmas was approaching, I was questioning God several times what it truly means.  As I wake up each morning and browse the television, I felt the excitement with songs sang, programs and news trying to inform how busy people are with shopping and where to best buy things - cheap, affordable, durable, colorful, etc.  Even children's excitement are soaring.

One time as I went to the mall to buy for some fancy clothes to wear for the party at work, I was observing everyone so engaged and indulged with shopping.  Decorations and songs played were all about Christmas.  In that instant, I thought, I would feel the same excitement, yet emptiness crept in. I felt not comfortable with it.

I left the mall not being able to buy something.  I resolved not to be fancy at the party.  I focused more on dealing with that feeling which led me to pray harder.  I was desiring for something different this Christmas of 2014.  I desire so much for the non material ones -  simplicity, love, peace, joy, humility, generosity. And  I invited my husband to spend more time to pray with me for our daughter and others.

I wanted so much also for that prayer to come alive.  So when I received some financial blessings at work and from small investment that I and my husband started, we decided to give more to my sick father, pack some simple candy goodies for the kids in the neighborhood and give a cake to a family in the neighborhood.

Furthermore, with my daily character training in giving, I also tried to add some tip to some individuals that helped me out in my research in my post graduate studies.  A lot of times I made some of them so surprised or I would rather say, amazed with what I did but that was just it...that was just my way of thanking God's people that have generously extended themselves in service, too.

I could enumerate more in here, but let me stop by saying that God's grace led me to realize His generosity in my life that I could not resist giving back.  My Christmas has found its true north in the simplest and in silence deliberately resisting materialism and grand celebrations so that it may demand most of my time away from my family. 

The Christmas night, I just prepared a simple dinner and decided to go out walking at night with my daughter and husband and send that cake to Mikaela' breast milk donor named Marsha when my daughter  was yet inside the incubator at the hospital.  I then put my daughter to bed early so that we could hear mass the following day - December 25 (ohhh that's today...this morning).

My journey this Christmas this year of 2014 has not ended.  In fact, it is continuous and daily engraving of character that Jesus himself has shared during his birthday - the Christmas day...with the strong resolve to share the graces of His birth all the days of my life...to everyone:-) 

God bless you all..May you find the truth of Christmas...May we all find God Himself  our true north this Christmas...THE TRUE REASON WHY THERE IS CHRISTMAS...:-)

Three Reasons Why We Are Ungrateful

I heard mass last Sunday with my family.  We got in late but it did not matter at all since I was presented with a package of message from a young priest that gave us a well prepared homily.  He presented Three Reasons Why We Are Ungrateful.   I would like to share my reflections in here as i found it to be so true in our journey.

1.  Ordinariness

Each day can be treated only like it was yesterday.  An ordinary day that is.  You wake up yesterday, eat your food, bathe, change clothes, go to work, etc.  Nothing is new.  Just the ordinary day.  You come home, children come home too.  You eat together at dinner table while watch the television that is turned on to entertain the family.  And you go to sleep with your family.  Oops, you forgot to pray and thank God that you received your paycheck today, your children came home safe from school.  Or your husband or wife gave you such wonderful time at dinner and you breathed your life today.  But then you did not see the blessings and the silent and subtle outpouring during the day.  Just the ordinary day.

2.  Envy

Envy means a feeling of discontenment or resenful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities or luck (google.com).  You want so much what others' have.  You resent and ask why they have it while you don't have such an opportunity.  The priests in that homily stated that "we sometimes spend sleepless nights thinking about the accomplishment and success of the other due to envy".  And yes... you forget how blessed you are with what you have and your accomplishments

3.  Self-Entitlement

Self-entitlement means that what you worked hard for through the years...your success and accomplishments are your own efforts and that you deserve where you are right now. Your went through life's difficulties trying to hurdle your student life without much financial support and became a working student. Yes your thoughts that your titles, accomplishments,wins, promotions, etc. were your own effort.  There was no sense of Someone helping you out get through them.  Or you might have asked God for help but since you were overwhelmed so you connect or attach success with your own hard work.  it is like an mentality that says, "I have the right...I deserve such privileges"...There was no God to thank for.  

Being contented is a gift.  A contented person is a grateful person.  A grateful person is humble enough to realize that everything that he has is given... They are gifts and gifts are meant to be given away and bless others and the world.  

Gratefulness is what we hold dear as a family.  As we gather in the morning when we wake up to pray and at night time before going to bed, we thank God for everything.  I feel that being grateful enlarges our person and will lead us to embracing humility.  Even and despite the struggle to be humble, it is comforting to know that I as a person is aware that I feel at times encroached by my own ego and selfish desires and motives.  Yet, I thank God even more for the grace to see this shortcoming so that I could do something about them.  

The last time that I gave a talk I shared how grateful and blessed I am and my family through the years.  So blessed that I could never resist giving in all sorts.  

May God's Name be Praised...Amen

Night time, Play time and Dozing off to Sleep

I have my routines at night with my daughter.  When I get home, I would simply kiss her on the head (hmmm I dont pick her up immediately with the day's dust that i gathered eheheheh...).  I would immediately clean up,change clothes, pick her up, hug and hug,  take my dinner and rush to pick her up again.  This part would be my time to just be with her.  She takes dinner with me a lot of times.  While she's being fed, I'll take mine so that I would immediately change her clothes and play with her in bed or tell her bed time stories or just snuggle her in my arms or place her on my lower legs for our regular "mommy and mika seesaw". 

It is really fun.  And I would trace her steps go up and down the bed while i remind her from time to time to take it slowly so she won't fall.  She is a smart girl.  She listens well to instructions but i felt her at times doing it her way without hearing my voice when she opens the drawer and take out all her socks and underwears, etc.  She felt like everything's a play.  And so I would pick her up in my arms, put her back in bed while I share to her my disappointment with what she did.  Lately, I would gather those stuffs she spread on the floor, put them on her hands and arms and led her to putting them back in the drawer.  That one move made her pout with some moves of resistance by pulling herself out from me.  But at that mommy wins despite her resistance.  

She has very high energy jumping up and down or going up and down the bed. Yet when I see her yawn, I would feel that I would have to put and lock her beside me to sleep.  Sometimes she would resist yet, her tiredness would consume her to sleep.  And then I would hear myself whisper "thank you God my girl's asleep".  And this is my only time that i would have for myself and daddy.  

Even if I would be so tired when I get home, it gives me relief to just spend time with her.  I miss her so much during the day and I would always tell her that.   Such a lovely site when she runs to me to just hug and hug.  Hmmm such a beautiful night to come home with such a lovely girl in my arms...despite the busy day...

Thank you dear God:-)

The Seminar on Intellectual Property Information

My sister Gay excitedly announced to me through a phone call that I should thank me with her news.  She met someone that could give me a seat for a seminar for the copyright of my "soon to be published book".  I stood up from my seat with such a loud cry of excitement.  

You see, it has been more than two years since I finished writing a book. From time to time i would add up articles that may enflesh some topics until i felt it was done.  I have been praying for God's intervention on what might be the next wise move to make other than finding the editor that might be able to journey with me in this great adventure.  When editing was almost done, I felt I met someone (Ms. Joy Tamayo, the manager of the book center of Xavier University)  who led me into having it self-published. She sat with me and shared how one professor of the university had successfully done it.  Again, my heart leaped with the joy (as she is named:-) ) at doing the same.  

And now with that idea in mind, my sister announced the invitation from her very close friend Ms. Jessie Abear from the Department of Trade of Industry who facilitated the seminar so that Intellectual Property Office Philippines will be able to present it on August 27, 2014. 

Gave my response on behalf of the Participants as the Closing remarks of the program:-)

Thank you dear God for paving, leading and opening the vast passage for me to be able to publish the book. God truly opens the doors when the right time comes.  He will lead you to the right people and opportunities to make your plans a reality.  Amen praise the Lord.... Halleluiah...:-)

Being and Staying In Love with My Husband....

Allow me to be romantic today.  It is not that I woke up with the twinkling of stars in my eyes.  I did not come from sleep.  I always fall asleep...hahahaha just joking.  I feel so wide awake realizing that being and staying in love is something that we create and re-create each day like that of an artist that does his craft in the eyes that see beyond the physical dimension.

Since the day I and my husband tied the knot in marriage, I and him have seen so many things about us that we didn't expect we had such as the intensity of our temper and yet the effort to hold it for the sake of not really hurting each other that much.

I had my moments of those tempting and challenging thoughts such as the question "why did i marry this man?" and " i might as well decide to separate with him", etc.  Ohh the last one made me goose skinned and hit me to the bones.  It always made me go back to the time when we were so in love and that were tested in our relationship several times over and my husband ...my boyfriend then never gave up at least ones.  He stood still with the fight for both us.  It was only I that got weakened but still he held me up to stay on his side.

Being in love and staying in love is the most challenging part with married couples.  In the house you don't fake yourself in front of your husband or wife.  You are so you regardless of what the other person thinks.  

I felt that with the worst in us both, we were not pleased at all.  It even shocked me to realize the worst in me.  But as I decide to give us both chances at loving, I realize I was giving the same to myself.

I feel so radiant and beautiful in front of my husband.  You know why?  He made me feel that.  He always had those cute surprises such as giving me that wonderful smile in the morning with his hug that says "you are my beautiful wife and thank you for loving me".  Yes I read that everytime he does that.  

Let me share with you his latest surprise.  He went to the mall one night and came back with his announcement " i have a gift for my wife..."  And he added  straight talking to me "it will simplify and organize your life... and it suits your lifestyle".  That one made me almost leaped and dance.  Yet, i was stopped when he said he would give it only when our daughter was asleep. Still with excitement I insisted that he would give it with our daughter as witness...hehe cute.  And it was such a grand introduction for a ...sling  bag. He added, "I have one to for myself ...much bigger than yours..."  And I thought..."cute...we're like twins...hahaha i mean lovebirds with uniform sling bags...walking hand in hand".  

I saw how happy he was.  I was so happy and thanked him for such a surprise.  But honestly, I was thinking of the pretty hand bag that I wanted so much to buy...which i thought if he just told me that he'd buy one I would have recommended that one.  Hmmm....selfish meeeehhh... 

But Oh...i love my husband.  I love his little, simple, cute ways of expressing himself to us, his temper, grouchiness, patience, and all.  I learned a lot journeying with him and his openness discussing things with me and growing with me.

At times,   I would hear him say "THANK YOU" without any words after that but an embrace for me and our little girl. When he starts to grouch, we had an agreement that we would remind each other so that's what I did and he would slowly pick up.

I love Michael...my dear husband.   The "cloud 9 feeling"  infatuation defined as love when we were younger turned out to be a decision to be and just stay in love ...to stick through and with each other no matter what.  

We did not marry long enough to say that we had all the learnings to wrap in one package but i would say we are such a perfect pair blessed and watered by prayers that we say together as a family.

Thank you God:-)

PS:  Our theme song...which i always sing and dance with our daughter..."Kung tayo'y matanda na...sana'y 'di tayo magbago...kailan man ....nasaan man...ikaw ang pangarap ko...ang nakalipas ay ibabalik natin wowowo"... now i am starting to feel like a howling dog nyahahhahahahah

Second Birthday of Maria Mikaela

Maria Mikaela at 2 years old

We just had a simple birthday celebration of our little girl.  We wanted it to be just a family thing away from stress and hassles of the preparation.  Unlike during her first birthday that we had it in the hotel after which our little girl got sick.  More than anything, we wanted still our daughter not to get used to something big everytime she will have her birthday.  It would be something that we as parents would want to learn and resist to lavishly spend and for our daughter to grow up frugal and save up for something more important and essential so that she can give and give even more.

Looking back, I saw how my little girl could not really relate with huge celebrations.  I just saw how her eyes were so amused seeing lots of guests.  But I guess she could not tell what was going on.  Everytime i think of how she responded with the previous year's birthday celebration also, still i was tempted to ignore and come up with another huge celebration.  With my very practical husband beside me, I always get to be reminded and refreshed to stay focused and simplify things for us.  Hmmm we thought of a much better use our money such as starting something for an income generating projects and activities.  For my husband delayed gratification was the learning that he passed on to me.  I like that one better than lavishly spending for now and nothing surprising or beautiful to expect at a much later time.

Discipline.  That is how I see it.  Everything at this time is focused on that goal for the family and delay in acquiring stuffs. Amen...Praise God...I am more at learning...this time in my life.  I am more at passing the same to our daughter.  Birthdays even can be celebrated well...intimate...more beautiful and focused to more essential thing...that is for rejoicing and thanking God for giving her another year of her life...after the many challenges that we had since she joined us in our family last July 28, 2012.

I believe God has provided her well.  I and my husband have a lot of reasons to rejoice and be thankful for His provisions and generosity.  Amen.  Praise the Lord:-)

Children Copy Their Moms...

Everyday from Mondays to Fridays, my daughter sees me each morning checking myself on the mirror.  I fix myself in front of her.  And just lately, she does things to herself.  She loves the mirror.  She makes face in front of it, does some peekaboo acts to herself.  climbs up and down the bed with her simple decision making skill such that what to do and how to go about going down the bed finding the exact position that would fit in her "desired" goal.  

Last night I saw her doing the same moves.  There is another thing that I observed though. I guess she was learning from the hard hit down that happened.  She tried to be more careful.  She performed such with precision and certainty.  I thought so many times that my daughter is really smart.  A less than 2 year old child thinking so hard and making such decision on how to go about things.  That in her own little world and capacity is smartness for me.  A mom like myself would shout out loud and would want to announce to the world that simple skill of her child. Oh so wonderful...Thank you God. A child so wonderfully made by Him.

Lastly, the latest that I did were the dance exercises from a downloaded Zumba video at youtube,com where my daughter simply went "wild" (hhhmmm pls dont get me wrong, it was not really that wild) dancing and dancing.  That one worried me since I have such a very slim (yet energetic) daughter but she likes so much to copy mommy.   

Hmmm I ended up with the decision to stop just to make her do the same. Huuh lesson learned.  Mommies can't just do everything in front of children. Right? whehehehe.

PS...that's the reason why I and my husband do not argue in front of her.  She would give us that look in her eyes that she felt the emotion so well...

The Sacrament of Waiting (By: Fr. James Donelan, S.J.)

The following was one of my favorites...hmmm when I was single.  I happen to browse the net for it since I was so desperate when I tried to look for the book that had it but to no avail.  Please devour:-) 

http://www.irisys.co.uk/blog/bid/58260/8-ways-to-reduce-queuing-time-in-retail-stores

The English poet John Milton wrote that those who serve only also stand and wait. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that all the greatest deeds of deering-do go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Everyday is filled with those little moments of waiting (testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control.) We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one – or wait in sadness to say goodbye and give the last wave of hand. We wait for springs to come – or autumn – for the rains to begin and stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next stop.

We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up – to reach the stage where we make our own decisions. We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is a part of the tapestry of living – the fabric in which the threads are woven to tell the story of our lives.

Yet current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait “grab all the gusto you can get.” So reads one of America’s greatest beer ads get it now! Instant pleasure, instant transcendence. Do not wait for anything. Life is short – eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you will die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom – pre-marital sex and extra marital affairs – they warn against attachments and commitments – against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us – against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.

This may be the correct prescription for pleasure – but even that is fleeting and doubtful – what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure – “Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated.” Not if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if we never learn to wait, we will never learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind of leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has loved knows how much waiting goes into it – how much waiting is important for love to grow, to flourish through a lifetime.

Why is this? Why can we not have it right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait – two years, three years – and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit – the seed to flower – carbon to change to diamond.

There is no simple answer – no more than there is to life’s other demands -having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives – having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path – good-byes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.

All we know is that growth – the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other a time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting – of being present without asking demands and rewards. There is nothing harder to do than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of our love. But there is life in the gift we give.

So lovers wait for each other – until they can see things the same way or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.

There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance of intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait – in silence but still present to each other – until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait; when we try to find shortcuts through life – when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of truly loving or of being loved. Think of all the great love stories of history and literature – isn’t it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery – that waiting is part of the substance – the basic fabric against which the story of that true love is written.

How can we ever find either life or true love if we are too impatient to

wait for it?

***********************************

Waiting is a good thing only if something is worth waiting for.

How will you know if it’s worth it? Gut feel.

What if you don’t trust your gut? Pray. You will be enlightened. Trust me.

Is it wrong to expect while waiting? It’s not wrong, but it will increase your chances of heartbreak and disappointment if things don’t work out in the end.

Is it good to expect while waiting? It is better to HOPE.

What’s the difference between hoping and expecting? HOPING means you’re open to either side of the coin landing though you’re more inclined to believe that things will turn out well. EXPECTING means you’re thinking single-track…which won’t do you much good at all.

What’s the difference between waiting and expecting? EXPECTING is waiting for something TO DEFINITELY HAPPEN. WAITING is staying where you are, but not necessarily expecting something to happen definitely.

Do you need assurance from someone you’re waiting for while you’re waiting? Ideally, yes. But realistically, do you really want assurance from this person? It’s so easy to just point at something and make that the reason why you’re waiting (“Because she said…” “Because he told me that…”).

With WAITING, all you really can rely on are 3 things: your gut feel, your heart and mind. Just YOURSELF, not anyone else.

So should you wait? What does your gut say? How does your heart feel? What does your mind think? If they’re saying different things, keep asking yourself these 3 questions (and pray!) until you get a solid answer.

THEN you’ll know if he or she is worth waiting for.

Being A Guidance Counselor

July 2 -3, 2014 at the RELC, Lapasan CDOC "Preparing a Guidance Program"

This is something that I have not done in years that is to talk about my Guidance and Counseling Profession.    I was employed in the university - high school department doing this job for 10 years.  I got my license to legally practice as Registered Guidance Counselor in 2008.  I felt that I have thrived in the job doing the following major responsibilities:

1.  Counseling 

This is the heart of the services.  I did counseling on the daily basis.  I announce a week  before each class schedule the names of students that will be called for counseling the following week. I post 5 to 7 students on the class bulletin board.  List of names shall be inserted in the class beadle board to inform each subject teacher and to excuse them in the class for that particular period.

2. Facilitate Personality Development Workshop

I prepared training/ workshop modules for the students such as Etiquette and Social Graces, Fine Dining, Orientations, Year level bonding activities ( in partnership with the class moderators in the year level).

3.  Consultations with Parents

Parents are free to come and visit us at the Guidance office.  They can consult about their sons and daughters' status in school and on how they could follow up and support them

4.  Prepare Homeroom Guidance Modules

We prepared Homeroom activities on self- awareness, motivations, relating with others, family relations and many others.  Each year level has its own theme to take care of. Class moderators implemented the activities in all the Mondays of the month immediately after the morning's General assembly.

5.  Others

This included joining meetings, trainings and  seminars, engaging in Graduate school studies, part time teaching when some departments needed teachers, accompanied students in retreats and recollections, outings, sat in school committees, conducting psychological testings with the testing office of both high school and college department and many others as needed by the school.

Again, I stayed for 10 years in the job.  After such length of time, I resigned.  I was supposed to lead the Guidance Department as Coordinator yet i found myself inadequate.  A year after that, I resigned and thought that I will never go back to the practice. Yet, five years after, God brought me to the same practice of the profession this time doing it in one of the public schools in the city.  And a year after,  I was designated as Guidance Coordinator (this current year). 

So I thought the position that I avoided was still the same position that God wanted me to face.  This time in a much bigger school with a huge responsibilities given the heavy cases in the public school school where I am currently assigned.  

Ouch? Yes really an ouch. But I feel this time, I am more prepared and ready for the job. I thank God for the 5 - year break and formation of my person.  I am no longer afraid by God's provisions and grace to face the job.  I feel more skilled this to lead and to create and implement program. I feel more drawn towards teamwork than focusing in self achievement and glory. I feel more humble in accepting comments so that programs can be better improved. I feel that God's grace abound from where I am.  I thank the Lord God for this blessing and strength to continue in the mission of my profession - Guidance and Counseling

Mikaela's Having Her Simple Fun

This is my first time to post a video with how my daughter spends some time with herself at home.  I was just amazed at how these past few days she has been spending a lot of time in front of the mirror curious with how she looks and smiles at herself candidly.

Ten (10) Core Life Skills Plus One (1)

Oh my I just enrolled for my dissertation.  This is the last phase of my post graduate studies in Education. This one is rather the most challenging part where i will be researching on the 10 core life skills defined by the World Health Organization (this one i happen to browse over the internet and i found it to be a two thumbs up for a research in the public school where i am currently assigned.

"Life skills include psychosocial competencies and interpersonal skills that help people

make informed decisions, solve problems, think critically and creatively, communicate

effectively, build healthy relationships, empathize with others, and cope with managing

their lives in a healthy and productive manner."

What are these 10 core life skills?.  Let me share what I got from my research some most of it came from  from the World Health Organization.

1.  Self-awareness -  includes recognition of ‘self’, our character, our strengths and weaknesses, desires and dislikes. Developing self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed or feel under pressure. It is often a prerequisite to effective communication and interpersonal relations, as well as for developing empathy with others.

2.  Empathy - To have a successful relationship with our loved ones and society at large, we need to understand and care about other peoples’ needs, desires and feelings. Empathy is the ability to imagine what life is like for another person.

 3.  Critical thinking - thinking is an ability to analyze information and experiences in an objective manner.  

4.  Creative Thinking -         is a novel way of seeing or doing things that is characteristic of four components – fluency (generating new ideas), flexibility (shifting perspective easily), originality (conceiving of something new), and elaboration (building on other ideas)

5.  Decision making -  helps us to deal constructively with decisions about our lives. This can have consequences for health. It can teach people how to actively make decisions about their actions in relation to healthy assessment of different options and, what effects these different decisions are likely to have.

6.  Problem-solving -   helps us to deal constructively with problems in our lives. Significant problems that are left unresolved can cause mental stress and give rise to accompanying physical strain.

7.  Interpersonal Relationship -          help us to relate in positive ways with the people we interact with. This may mean being able to make and keep friendly relationships, which can be of great importance to our mental and social well-being. It may mean keeping, good relations with family members, which are an important source of social support. It may also mean being able to end relationships constructively.

8.  Effective Communication -   means that we are able to express ourselves, both verbally and non-verbally, in ways that are appropriate to our cultures and situations. This means being able to express opinions and desires, and also needs and fears. And it may mean being able to ask for advice and help in a time of need.

9.  Coping with Emotions -       means involving recognizing emotions within us and others, being aware of how emotions influence behaviour and being able to respond to emotions appropriately. Intense emotions like anger or sadness can have negative effects on our health if we do not respond appropriately.

10.  Coping with Stress -    means recognizing the sources of stress in our lives, recognizing how this affects us, and acting in ways that help us control our levels of stress, by changing our environment or lifestyle and learning how to relax.

I was caught at how these skills would really help us thrive with the many challenges with life.  I would want to check these with the grade 7 students with hope that i would be able to respond as their Guidance counselor by creating activities that would fill in the gaps. Hmmm yahhh i know what you are thinking...I will be working on a lot of variables but...but I feel it...it can be done...By God's grace...:-)

Lastly,even if I will not include in my research Prayer...I will have to propose that 10 core life skills plus Prayer will bring it to perfection.  Prayer...can break walls and the impossible (by human assessment) to a reality and shall I say..."miracles do happen"What do you think?

PS...i will soon be writing modules enhancing life skills for our children...I pray that I would be able to deliver them well to help us in parenting our own children:-)

Does Education Really Respond to the Real Needs of Students?

http://www.stgabrielsf.com/school/images/stories/EC.jpg

How much time does schools give to completing our academic life?  Quite a long time compared to the 2 day pre cana (pre wedding) seminar given to those who will be getting married.  Let me illustrate a little why I am sharing this.  The two day seminar comprises soon-to-be parents preparation to nurturing a family and raising children.  A lot of books that i read related to building family and relationships would say that there is no school that gives us the complete package of such preparation.  Yet, i realize that parenting plays a very crucial role to the kind and "quality" of children that will some day soon will live their lives too and will become parents themselves.

Obviously, the two-day pre cana seminar cannot even answer all the needs of the couple to be able to hurdle the many different concerns and issues of married life nor will it be able to emotionally, spiritually or completely prepare them for it.  So parents will have to rely on what the school has to provide what they lack.  But when our children go to school, what the program will spend more time with will be in the academics.  They will be thrown into varied mental exercises in Mathematics, English, more time in Science.  They call these subjects as the major ones.  While the minors are appropriated less time..

Oh my, our children do this from elementary to college until they finish their courses (we adults were also formed this way right?).     So when they get a job, they would realize they fall short with the most important skills such as human relations where respect, honesty, commitment,  humility, teamwork, and many other good values that they need to be "truly" human.

In my heart, I believe true education should be responsive to the real need.  We always hear from daily news issues of corruption, killing and many different forms of human rights violations.  Still our educational system has not truly responded to it.

How about reversing our educational system or balancing our educational system such that while we give mental exercises, we also give the same and ample time for formation of values ...family values supporting our very own parents that don't have enough time to give that formation since they are at work while their children are in school. Or give training on Vocation particularly including family life in it.

After all, a lot of our children will go into married life and so when they become parents, they would be more confident to face the many challenges  confronting married individuals or formation of children.  So they won't say anymore that they were like thrown into a vast ocean with the options "swim or die".  Oh my ...  Old as I was when I got married, I still felt that way with my age, how much more with those teens that just got pregnant and call their situations "accident" and so they just have to swim or leave the responsibility of child - rearing to their own parents.

Hmmm this is something that we could reflect upon..:-)  Have a happy day everyone...God bless us all:-)

Then and Now ...at Home:-)

When i was single, i maintained a very neat small house.  When I arrived home, i felt i could just hop on the couch when i was tired and just stretched my body, breathed really deep that i sometimes dozed off to sleep.  When I woke up i  turned on the stove, heated some food at the fridge or bought food at the nearest carenderia.  I then turned ON the television set and watched some favorite programs while I ate my dinner.  After that, I delayed washing plates and allowed myself to surf the net or read some books.  I slept sometimes very late or very early when I was so tired.

I had my single life like that. But not now.  Hmmm when I get home, I would immediately see something different the moment i enter the door. Toys are everywhere, plates and glasses on the table plus a dusty floor.  The first time i realized that this time is very different, I wanted to scream since I was so tired from work and i knew that it is never the same.  Yet when i saw how my baby looks at me and my husband misses me during the day ...or it may be the other way around hahhaha.  I miss them so much.  I thought the mess is nothing compared to the fun and joy they bring in my life...

I may not have such an orderly house at the moment. But I feel overjoyed at the love and the ray of God's sun every single day despite the many challenges that I encountered:-)  Thank you dear God:-)

Praying...for Students:-)

http://www.teacherswhopray.org/your-legal-rights/

Let me share about what my friend teacher shared a while ago.  She said straight that she prayed for her students the previous day.  She has seen how her students have been bombarded by angry words from different teachers so to reverse what she wanted to do, she prayed over them. And I responded "what you did was beautiful".  

I should have added "that should be what teachers do for their students".  I was touched.  That is something that I rarely do.  I was simply reminded that when I pray, I would make it a commitment to pray for them.  This time, other than doing it silently, I will make them hear my prayers for them.

If I would do that I may influence them in the following:

1.  value prayer being a student

2.  To embrace the contents of prayer

3.  Live, commit and be true with life and being alive

...More than anything...embrace God and His power in our life.

Wow...I am being reminded through my friend to commit to prayer...to pray not only for my family and mention other people in our lives but to particularly mention ...my students...

I thank my friend Candice for dropping by at the Guidance office for such a brief beautiful sharing...:-)  God bless her wonderful ...beautiful heart:-)...Amen.