My 12 and 8-Year Old Love Story Equals Twenty

"I'm so sorry".  I said that with a twisted low voice to my husband when he passed by in front of me.  He softly looked at me.  Then I added in my naughtiness, "You should say sorry to me, too"  ( with some giggles...and ouch really heheheheh).  He did not do that.  Instead,  he pulled me and embraced me tightly and bent his head to mine.  Now, you could say "Best love story of all time"  (hahahha nag drama lang). 

I think this is one of the best times to share our story as a couple on how we deal with each other.  We got married really late (in our mid 30's or almost late 30s hahahha).  

For almost 12 years in the relationship, we thought we have known each other that well. But, really, a lot of unexpected behaviors can surface still when we got married.  The best parts in our relationship were not really  those fine characters that we show to each other but the not so good ones that turned out to be our challenge on how to best respond to each other.  

The thing is, we are both assertive individuals.  We say things in assertion which left us in pain sometimes taking them too personally and soooo seriously.  Sometimes petty things become serious source of fights or argument which made us realize that we were wasting so much of those energies giving in to petty ones.  

We are 8 - year old married couple.  In the first two years of our being together, we did "bungol" (not talk at all  when not so good things happen) to each other.  But we both realized, we live together in one house and felt like we had  no choice but to stay together ( walking out could be easier when you are both single).  

Then,  the behavior a little bit progressed into putting a little drama in front of our daughter such that when we argue privately, we tried to deal with our daughter as if no argument happened between us.

On and on until, our daughter saw as argue and then she saw us reconcile immediately. So it led me also to realize that our daughter has to see the realities of mama and papa arguing at times and reconciling also.  

Benedictine Monastery - Malaybalay City

You see, the one of the best gifts that I received in our married life is the gift of person of my husband.  He is such a very forgiving person and more than anything prays with me and my daughter every single day.

With our daughter Maria Mikaela

One time in the past, we agreed to still hold each other's hands even if we had a fight or argument.  I felt awkward at first when it happened.  But we got used to it.  And even when we sleep at night, we find each other holding hands until we doze off to sleep.  

All I could say is...ours may not be the best love story..(or however you would call what I have with my husband) but is best founded and anchored in the relationship that we first established with God...This happens when couples pray together and bring their families together to prayer.  That's what I and my husband did to our family.

Now, this is our 12 (when we were still single) and 8 - year Old (married life) love story...equals twenty:-).

PS...I asked my husband this morning why earthquake frequently happens lately and specifically in a particular place in Mindanao.  He simply stated "so that man will go back to God...so that they will remember that they need to pray...and go back to God."  He is simply sooo natural ...

"PERFECTION OF OBEDIENCE..."

I posted this photo on my timeline at Facebook because it led me to think hard of the journey that I had in my search for the will of God.  

My friend Vilma was right with her comment "scary".  I felt the same.  I was asking myself if I would really trust those words said by Cardinal Tagle.  

In fact, what comes first is to find out the will of God.  That alone is quite challenging.  Since his will may be hidden in those most painful experiences that we had leading us to where his will might be or where we should be.  

And there is this term "perfection of obedience".  In the process of the search, a lot of things could happen.  You could derail and go other path.  You could give up and go back.  Or, the path may be too thorny and painful that you could "die" and simply give up.  

Looking back, I have disobeyed God.  Yet, I found myself not giving up.  I found myself still back in His arms.  Really, at my end, I would rather be back to God than be somewhere else other than him.  

Perfection, by human experience, entails lots of practice, discipline and continues grilling to hone the specific skills.  Perfection is a process.  It is not an outright reaching of goal.  It is beautiful to reach the goal to be perfect but we should savor the experience of "purification"  during the process of engagements despite the pain that we experience along the way.

Yes, obedience is an ingredient towards perfection.  Are we really obeying God? Or, am I really obeying God? Am I submitting to such will of God?

God has crafted a special process for each of us.  Definitely, mine could be a lot different from yours but the goal is the same  - perfection of obedience.  Well, I may have found God's will but a lot of times, I do not understand it or not understand God himself.  All I did was to simply submit.  I truly felt helpless.  

Where would I go?  Finding other options is not an option for me.  IT IS STILL GOD that I would choose no matter the darkest clouds that I underwent or may be undergoing in my life (oh God please give me the strength).

I pray for Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle.  He is so full of wisdom.  He has the greatest treasure of all that which he found in his intimate moments with God in prayer shared to all of us.  I am so grateful to God for this beautiful servant of God.

"Heart to Heart" with My Students on Nature, Purpose and Calling

https://www.amazon.co.uk/True-Nature-Exploration-Being-Human-ebook/dp/B078YDYRQB

"Nature so freely gives thanks and praise to the Creator with its beautiful display of sights, smells, and sounds, as well as through its bountiful harvests. Nature is being true to the reason it was created. What lessons of truth and faithfulness we can learn from nature!" (https://www.loyolapress.com/retreats/natures-goodness-start-retreat).  

Two weeks ago, I gave an assignment to my college students (our topic was on the DIGITAL SELF).  I asked them to leave their cellphones at home just for a day.  I checked a week after that if they did the assignment.  Unfortunately, not one of them did it.  One young lady at the back exclaimed "it is too painful to do that".  And the others followed saying " We cannot do it", "I cannot imagine a day without it"; "I will miss my phone".  And, they generally spend 10 to 12 hours with their phones.  

Then I told them,  "your behavior implies that you have established a 'relationship' to a cellphone...to a thing".  I felt sad hearing them say that.  Young people or even us adults may have dealt with our cellphones like human being.  Most of our waking moments may be spent "establishing that type of relationship".  

Our nature calls for intimacy not for material things but to living beings - humans and nature around us.  But mostly among humans intimacy is spent in those moments with our loved ones.  Those people we want to spent time with.  If a lot of time is spent through gadgets and surfing the net, we failed in one of those  purpose for which we are made.  That is to establish connection with others.  To connect in love.  

I further stated to my students "what if in those moments of 12-hour engagement with your phones, God wanted to give you that special gift of person whom you could spend the rest of your life with and  you are not disposed to notice that person"...They all reacted "waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh".  And, they may end deciding in haste being with a person as described by their "digital and virtual world".

The course that I am teaching is UNDERSTANDING THE SELF.  My audience are adolescents.   I feel that my current purpose is to lead them into the journey inwards to understand themselves better and be in touched with their nature, purpose or calling.  And basically, they have to go back and feel that purpose of going to school first and submit to the process of discipline, focus and shaping their person.  I just feel sad some of them dropped out from school even with free education because they are more busy doing some other things other than school work).

Now am I true to my calling and nature?  Again, I sailed away and failed many times over.  But that does not mean, I won't reach out and help my dearest young ones...my very own students.  I love them so much that I cannot be otherwise being their teacher.

Breaking My Silence - My Journey to Becoming More Intimate with Life...with God

https://www.bluechairblessing.com/store/c1/Featured_Products.html

Months back my leadership to a group of young people (senior high school) ended.  I admit I was just trying to go on with the sail simply submitting to what was assigned to me at work.  There were several challenges that I encountered such as  being talked about as a "hot topic" during meal time (hahahhaha) by group of individuals, be a simple wife and mom when I get home. 

My life revolved around those themes.  People would ask "what keeps me busy at this time?";  or "Where are you assigned now?", etc.  And I would simply answer them with the new assigned tasks that I had at work (assistant of an administrator and currently still assisting the same boss moving up to a really higher and prestigious position of the university)  and teach a Psychology course at the same time.  

There were moments of "numbness and loss" however, the sail must go on.  The following are the things that I learned :

1.  Silence   

2.  Humility

3.  Simplicity

4.  Focus on the Essentials only

5.  There is no need to have the position if you want to serve

6.  Always anchor in God

7.  Faithfully do your job

8.  Create a balance (God, Family and Work)

9.  Between being right and being kind, always choose kindness

10.  Forgive everyday

11.  Learn like a sponge
12.  Laugh like there is no tomorrow 
13.  Give and give and give a little more (even to stray cats, dogs, frogs, etc... hahahhahah)

The thing is, my current disposition makes me more refined and focused.  I need not announce to everyone what has gone through me at the social media.  When life become simpler, you'll get settled with its simplest expression and the joy of having special people in your life such as family, relatives, students, friends and colleagues  who are so dear to me at this time.  

Working with people like my current boss is like serving God Himself.  You see when you get to work with God, you need not be at the limelight.  God's ways and commands will just make you obey and do things silently to get through the goals of making His goodness known to everyone.  Popularity really is not of God.  One may be popular for doing the good but that should not be the ultimate motivation why we do the good for others.  

I just feel the inspiration and joy of serving God through where I am.  The peace and joy are immense.  Even the pain is seen as a beautiful ingredient to my growth.  I am just so grateful to God for this wonderful grace...which I found in the most intimate moment in Prayer...

Thank you God...