WELCOME TO CHRISTMAS

https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/christmas-eve

The following article was written more than a week ago...

I heard Sunday mass yesterday.  The first candle of advent was lit.  It created a special feeling of excitement, anticipation, a moving forward to the most colorful season of the year.  

I have been browsing youtube lately with Christmas movies.  Truly my favorite.  They hit me and  I become emotional.  Kind of refreshing yes they were.  I just allowed myself to be engulfed with the spirit  that is being portrayed in the films.  But there is such a word as WAIT...there is one thing that is MISSING.  The films I mostly watch do not really highlight the birth of Jesus and salvation that brought such joy and meaning of Christmas.  Decorations, Santa, miracles that do not connect with Jesus but with some spirits and fairies of Christmas,  flashing decorations...spirit of Christmas which I think the movies did not really and truly present the TRUE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON.

Welcome Christmas.  Welcome Jesus the child who is the reason why Christmas was born also into the world.  A concept created truly based and grounded in  Jesus. But why does the world seemed to have portrayed it differently.  I feel like the world loves Christmas but not the Christ.  One movie even portrayed family but at the heart of it, prayer was not even said to acknowledge Christ's birth.

I just hope we receive and portray Christmas by going back to its origin... by refocusing, seeing its essence and not be fooled by the flashes and decorations of Christmas.  Let us not waste the season.  Let us go straight to the heart of the season by looking at Christ...be reminded by the life of simplicity, connecting with family, forgiveness, humility and true love we share to each other during the celebration of the Mass...

Welcome Christmas...welcome Jesus Christ into the world:-)

My Blog Site Turns 5 Joyfully Hopeful Years

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=belCJJjut1A

I actually forgot posting this.  I wrote this article months back to acknowledge an initiative that I thought would not reach as far as 5 years.  Actually it brought me tot ears realizing that writing was actually my passion and I have not really acknowledged it until more than 5 years ago when I got inspired by a Jesuit priest Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ. 

Years passed swiftly.  I never expected it would "survive" and reach 5 years  (last August 2015). It was a simple journey of an unexpected hmmmm or shall I say "accidental" writer who just wanted to express some significant parts of the journey...which may and can perhaps be a message of inspiration to others.  

You may  ask "what do you mean by huge success?"... Well, my blog site never received highest point / rate in terms of those who drop by here and read.  Mine does not have the perfect grammar and sentence construction as you may have discovered them in my writings.  Mine is not even consistent in terms of publishing my writings regularly.  Moreover, as far as I know, nobody has written (except some few close friends- my "mutual admiration club" hahahhaha) a formal review about the contents of this site so that I would know how it affected them and some people.

Success thus, refers to the truest and sincerest self I had / have that does the writing despite the long moths of silence and the persistence to still stick with the journey of writing.  Success at my end does not follow some standards from the perspective of others. Success simply means just being my true self who captured some moments of sparks in a day and translated them into words.  However others perceived this site is no longer my concern.  There may be times that I thought of turning this one "off".  But still the grace remains to allow silence to occur to make my heart ripe to go back to writing.

I still thank God more than anything in this world to have still reminded me that I still have "this work" to do to continue writing to put my daily journey into writing.  

To me and to this blog site...HAPPY 5 YEARS  despite posting this late...there will be more to come...keeping it alive still by God's surprises and daily "crafting" and grilling through my heart.  

Thank you God!!!!!

My 41st Birthday

I never made any announcement nor remind anyone about my birthday.  I just simply wanted to feel what it would be like when anything about my person will not be really given attention to or focused on. At first I felt strange.  Yet, I guess i wanted to tame myself more and be away from "limelight".  The grace to be silent and insignificant was what I remember I asked from God before my birthday.

My family members knew about it already so I never made any extra effort for that. And of course they remember me ...always.  And a friend priest - Fr. Roger Gabac, SSJV sent his private message at facebook.  

Before I loved so much the attention.  Sssshhh wait... I still like it now but not really giving it much attention so that I would forget simplicity and "insignificance".  

I appreciate so much "silence".  It gives me more time to forming and reforming how I was shaped by my ego from the previous years.  I loved being acknowledged with my achievements.  Yet, I love it even better when others will not give me importance or treat me kindly because of my achievements.  I know that well in my heart.  

Now for my birthday -  January 8, 2015,  I woke up with the feeling that it was special for me whispering prayers of thanksgiving before God and prepared breakfast. When my husband woke up, he gave me the warmest hug and kiss (hmmm I love it so much being wrapped in his arms).

He wanted us to have a dinner date with our daughter but I suggested that we will just buy food and have it at home shared with my neighbor's sister's family.  When I arrived at school, nobody knew about it so I kept my silence and went ahead with preparing and teaching my students (  I always have fun with my students).

At lunch time, I had a date at mass with the Lord.  That was the highlight of my day, celebrating it in prayer to God with glitters of thanksgiving.  Hmmm now the question is "did ask for a gift?".  I did.  I told Him about it the day before my birthday.  Another question..."do I have enough faith to believe that He will grant it?".  Hmmmm that is one of the most difficult part.  I need God's grace to strengthen my faith so that I will just simply believe and let go.  Hmmm my last question..."what if what I asked for is not really for me?"....My answer..."It will never stop my friendship with God:-)"

The night simply ended with the regular walking with my daughter and husband.  I love the sound of my daughter's giggles when she's brought out of the house. ( I was just worried when we realized that my daughter was no longer wearing one shoe and we had to look for it before we went back to our house.)  The excitement with just being us...rather the excitement of having both of them is the greatest birthday gift of all. 

Thank you God.  Thank you God for another year of my life.  Thank you God for your generosity, for your blessings, abundance, patience ....hmmm etcetera hehehehe.  I love you sooooo much...:-) ...Hmmm i get that ...you made me feel that first...:-0

  

My Heart's "True North" This Christmas of 2014

the Christmas mass - December 25, 2014

I was so dead busy for the past months.  And when Christmas was approaching, I was questioning God several times what it truly means.  As I wake up each morning and browse the television, I felt the excitement with songs sang, programs and news trying to inform how busy people are with shopping and where to best buy things - cheap, affordable, durable, colorful, etc.  Even children's excitement are soaring.

One time as I went to the mall to buy for some fancy clothes to wear for the party at work, I was observing everyone so engaged and indulged with shopping.  Decorations and songs played were all about Christmas.  In that instant, I thought, I would feel the same excitement, yet emptiness crept in. I felt not comfortable with it.

I left the mall not being able to buy something.  I resolved not to be fancy at the party.  I focused more on dealing with that feeling which led me to pray harder.  I was desiring for something different this Christmas of 2014.  I desire so much for the non material ones -  simplicity, love, peace, joy, humility, generosity. And  I invited my husband to spend more time to pray with me for our daughter and others.

I wanted so much also for that prayer to come alive.  So when I received some financial blessings at work and from small investment that I and my husband started, we decided to give more to my sick father, pack some simple candy goodies for the kids in the neighborhood and give a cake to a family in the neighborhood.

Furthermore, with my daily character training in giving, I also tried to add some tip to some individuals that helped me out in my research in my post graduate studies.  A lot of times I made some of them so surprised or I would rather say, amazed with what I did but that was just it...that was just my way of thanking God's people that have generously extended themselves in service, too.

I could enumerate more in here, but let me stop by saying that God's grace led me to realize His generosity in my life that I could not resist giving back.  My Christmas has found its true north in the simplest and in silence deliberately resisting materialism and grand celebrations so that it may demand most of my time away from my family. 

The Christmas night, I just prepared a simple dinner and decided to go out walking at night with my daughter and husband and send that cake to Mikaela' breast milk donor named Marsha when my daughter  was yet inside the incubator at the hospital.  I then put my daughter to bed early so that we could hear mass the following day - December 25 (ohhh that's today...this morning).

My journey this Christmas this year of 2014 has not ended.  In fact, it is continuous and daily engraving of character that Jesus himself has shared during his birthday - the Christmas day...with the strong resolve to share the graces of His birth all the days of my life...to everyone:-) 

God bless you all..May you find the truth of Christmas...May we all find God Himself  our true north this Christmas...THE TRUE REASON WHY THERE IS CHRISTMAS...:-)

Second Birthday of Maria Mikaela

Maria Mikaela at 2 years old

We just had a simple birthday celebration of our little girl.  We wanted it to be just a family thing away from stress and hassles of the preparation.  Unlike during her first birthday that we had it in the hotel after which our little girl got sick.  More than anything, we wanted still our daughter not to get used to something big everytime she will have her birthday.  It would be something that we as parents would want to learn and resist to lavishly spend and for our daughter to grow up frugal and save up for something more important and essential so that she can give and give even more.

Looking back, I saw how my little girl could not really relate with huge celebrations.  I just saw how her eyes were so amused seeing lots of guests.  But I guess she could not tell what was going on.  Everytime i think of how she responded with the previous year's birthday celebration also, still i was tempted to ignore and come up with another huge celebration.  With my very practical husband beside me, I always get to be reminded and refreshed to stay focused and simplify things for us.  Hmmm we thought of a much better use our money such as starting something for an income generating projects and activities.  For my husband delayed gratification was the learning that he passed on to me.  I like that one better than lavishly spending for now and nothing surprising or beautiful to expect at a much later time.

Discipline.  That is how I see it.  Everything at this time is focused on that goal for the family and delay in acquiring stuffs. Amen...Praise God...I am more at learning...this time in my life.  I am more at passing the same to our daughter.  Birthdays even can be celebrated well...intimate...more beautiful and focused to more essential thing...that is for rejoicing and thanking God for giving her another year of her life...after the many challenges that we had since she joined us in our family last July 28, 2012.

I believe God has provided her well.  I and my husband have a lot of reasons to rejoice and be thankful for His provisions and generosity.  Amen.  Praise the Lord:-)

MOTHERS’ DAY - MY LOVELY DATES and MORE:-)

May 11, 2014…mother’s day…I was at first not so motivated to go out of the house not until there was the brown out.   Hmmm we had to do something.  I and my husband decided to hear mass at the mall after which we can bring our daughter to a play house where we could roam around and play with her. 

It was kind of tough though bending our bodies and go through some passage only fitted for kids.  But still we had to accompany our daughter.  We alternated roles.  I go up with Mikaela while her dad stays down and catches her.  We did slides, rode cars, threw balls and we allowed her to explore her way and check toys which she may find new to her eyes.  She was so curious and wanted to explore more.  Yet we had to limit her time. That was her first time in that huge play room. 

From the play room, we paced through a Japanese restaurant and ate our early lunch so that we could bring Mikaela home for her solid food lunch.  We brought her milk though for an initial intake.  She cant starve while we ate our lunch.  It may be a big discomfort for all of us.

I was just so glad, everything went well.  All of us had fun yet I sensed my husband profusely sweating in the playroom for lack of airconditioner.  Yet I saw how happy he was observing our daughter tracing her steps everywhere. 

Looking at my dates – my husband Michael and MiIkaela made me feel how God has provided has so well.  I feel so blessed with having a husband that’s really a great partner in everything while I saw my daughter fulfilling such a great desire of a mom.  She is such a gift…a beautiful gift to us.  She is  the greatest symbol of God’s generosity in our life as a couple.  She taught me everything about valuing life, formation of our character as a couple including guarding our own actions / behavior for they may negatively influence her.  Things are not perfected though yet, as a mother, it is a uphill downhill and up again.  The most important thing is I never stop myself from learning despite the many flaws and faults.

Thank you God for making me a wife.  Thank you for making me a mother.  Thank you God for making things happen for me, for making me a mother to your beautiful angel by the name of MARIA MIKAELA.

HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY TO ME….AND TO ALL MOTHERS IN THE WORLD:-)

A Simple Expression of Maria Mikaela ...:-)

I was not so motivated last month decorate the house.  My mind was somewhere else.  Hmmm just work and my family.  Two weeks before Christmas, I thought I just had to put on some red curtains.  I wanted so much to have the Christmas tree but we lost the pack inside the stock room.  So I thought I would have it simple.   I placed everything. And soon enough the day before Christmas, I thought I just have to dive into the stock room and look for that pack of decors.  Lo and behold, we found them. 

So we started putting them up.  Our tall slender Christmas tree was done.  When little girl went out of the room after her afternoon sleep, I was stunned at how her loud giggle filled the entire house as she saw the Christmas tree standing tall.  She came back and forth.  Kept on looking at it with much excitement.  And I was just so happy that I made such simple effort of going into that dusty stock room that reaped such simple happiness of my little girl this Christmas.

 My husband already stopped me from taking so much effort.  He just wanted me to rest in that afternoon.  Yet I told him that kids have a different taste of Christmas.  I just want to do it for our daughter MIkaela. 

During family prayer, she kept on going back to it.  And I told her after that,  that I did it for her.  And she listened so intently giving me that cutest and most wonderful smile.  Though she did not wait and join us at Noche Buena, I know in my heart my little girl carried that wonder and awe with that simple Christmas tree. 

Oh what a simple joy …a simple gift of a Christmas tree to my little girl Maria Mikaela this Christmas of 2013…her second Christmas with our familyJ

Maria Mikaela Turned One Year Old

As I listened from husband’s simple welcome speech to our guests at our daughter’s simple birthday party (July 28, 2013 at the Dynasty Hotel and Restaurant) before our family members and very close friends, I realized how time has gone fast.  My husband was tracing how one year ago we struggled with my unexpected delivery “…and now she is in front of us healthy, big and strong”. 

While my husband did that, I had such mixed emotions.  I was also filled with pride looking at our cute daughter sitting in front of my husband playfully clapping her hands as if cheering her dad.  I was so overwhelmed by that site.  I love them both so much.  I knew then that I would do everything by God’s grace to keep my family intact, alive and truly in service to God. 

I would like also to honor God’s  for His bounty at the same time such that, celebrating Maria Mikaela’s birthday at the hotel was unexpected.  We had it all planned and to just hold it home.  Yet, I was sick for days and I was so tired when I got home from work ( I am now back with my full time job teaching and counselling).  Realizing the little difference in the expense if we hold it at the hotel made us hop into such decision. 

It was only a 1 and a half day preparation.  We did not even prepare invitation.  The good thing with technology was that, we just sent txt messages to our relatives in Bukidnon and some close friends and sponsors of Mikaela during her christening.  I and our house assistant Welma landed on a Saturday at a one-stop shop where we would all stuffs for kids and had the tarpaulin done before I joined my Saturday class at the Graduate school. 

I thought that if I pursued having it at home, I would have been absent in class and sleep really late at night.  But then we were so relaxed.  My sister Gay was the usual errand bringing all the ordered stuffs like cake and lechon and bringing us all to the hotel with all our stuffs (including Mikaela’s crib…hahah it’s a folded crib so it just looked like one of those travelling bags we brought to the hotel).

Welma with her friend Cassandra decorated the place with balloon together with one of the hotel staffs.  Food was served buffet.  There was really  no prepared formal program .  I just hopped into the microphone to be the automatic emcee of the party.  I bravely thought that I have done it with other people’s birthdays and wedding,  so I could not resist my very own daughter’s very special and memorable first birthday.

It went well as I ran though my handwritten flow of the  program with those hastily prepared list of the games that I thought might bring in fun to the party.  My daughter was a little agitated in the earlier part of the program since she was not really used to loud voice around her plus my very loud voice when I used the microphone.  So we decided to “ship” her at the back of the room in my husband’s arms.  It was a fun fun time. 

Then came the blowing of her candle which I did  myself since its obvious that Mikaela did not have that capacity yet.  But we made it sure that she would be able to witness everything.  As I brought the cake in front of her, I saw how her eyes lit with excitement and curiously she surveyed it. 

From there she had to be brought up to our room to rest since she was obviously tired after such a "long" and tiring celebration.  She was not used to big celebrations yet she patiently stayed and had fun aside from being transferred from one guest's arm to the other for pictorial from time to time.

I was very tired …yes…and having been sick for 3 days.  I thank God for the grace to be able to stand firm in that moment joyful moment that we had as a family.  We love our daughter so much that we wanted her (despite not being able to understand our initiative) when she grow up to look back through photos how her first birthday was memorably celebrated by our family together with our relatives and friends.

Thank you dear God for blessing us with a wonderful and beautiful little girl by the name of MARIA MIKAELA:-)

Kuya Kurt, uncle Jun, kuya rock, kuya Kurt and ate girl2

Daddy's speech time

dancing time with the kids

Uncle Dennis and Auntie Gay

cousins kuyas and ate Kurt, Rock, Girl2 and friends Kookie and Julia

Doc Ronnie, Koobie and Anton

Neighbors Mrs. Talingtingan with daughter Trisha, hubby Tyrone and daughter Tahnya

Atty Roel, Meg and daughter Fiya

sis Gay, ninangs Lolitz and Nina with Ninong Rodel and Tito Ronnie

Lolo Pops

Tito Nono, cousin ate Patricia and ateJane

Lolo Pops with ate Welma, Jane and Paticia

Kuya Nickey with lalabs ate Shai

I Am Glad The World Celebrates Mothers' Day

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres

When I was a kid I never heard that the world celebrates mothers’ day.  I could not recall that I would have to make greeting cards for mothers for this particular day.  I could only recall Christmas, Valentines’ day and mama’s birthday.  I rarely even gave her cards.  We were never used to festive celebrations either.  There were 6 of us kids so we could not compare who’s more favourite since our parents put our birthdays together on one occasion.  Either held it during mama’s birthday or papa’s or during their wedding anniversary.

Now that I am older and oohhh so married, I am so glad despite the commercialized presentations at the malls and how the media present it, that the world has acknowledged mothers.  You see I have never appreciated such celebration since it “came” to the Philippines (for I thought of it at first to be so westernized) until I became a mom last year. 

Motherhood has brought me to next dimension.  A deeper level of understanding relating with an innocent baby.  It has opened my heart to the most intimate of human encounter everytime I hold my baby in my arms.  Each moment with her  is like embracing God’s beauty.  Her innocence is an openness to one of the most beautiful miracles of life that I have ever participated. 

I am so glad that today (May 12, 2013) is mothers’ day.  I never thought though of something grand aside from the fact that I convinced my husband that we could spend it at the mall.  Yet we both decided for a simpler celebration.  Such that bond as a family at home.  I did not expect any surprises though except that the first one that greeted me is our  “assistant” at home named Welma.  I received her greeting with giggle while I was robbing my eyes very early this morning and adjusting how I sounded with my rather rough morning voice. 

I received a kiss from my husband too.  And was so overwhelemd with how my little girl just touched my face with both her hands while she surveyed my face with her cute eyes, smile and giggle.  My husband told me that, that’s Mikaela’s mothers’ day greeting for me.  Hmmm I wonder if she understood what it is all about but her gesture is more than enough of a mothers’ day greeting for me.  Her touch was like foretastes of the many images of heavens on earth.  Thank you dear God.

In the middle of the morning, I tried to post message at facebook and to my own mother that past away years back with the statement

"happy mothers' day to all mamas...and to my mama Gloria ...you may have passed away years ago...but I am carrying with me your legacy. Thank you kaayo mama...God bless your soul:-) I have now my little girl Mikaela...and she makes motherhood possible for me...and she is so lovely ma:-) And ohh...i now feel your sacrifice for me...it is not easy to take care of a baby...i am so glad and so thankful that you took good care of me...I love you mama:-) You are in my heart:-)"

I read this statement to my neighbour sister from where she commented how I put drama in the way I write.  Ehem…that is just me…heheh

After that,  Welma  went to the market for her regular Sunday assignment.  When she got home she called me from the sink while she took out her little “secret” -  three red roses.  I was on the verge of tears when she told me “Ate, I am giving this to you since I am far from home and I cannot give any to my own mother”.  I was so touched by her thoughtfulness.  I gave her a kiss for that beautiful surprise.

The afternoon was a combination of relaxed and tensed mode.  Relaxed since we all dozed off to sleep and a little tensed when we woke up rushing for the Church.  Even if we were a little worried of the possible heavy rain, we forged to hearing the mass.  All mothers were greeted and after the mass I brought my little girl as usual to the blessed mother’s photo in front of the Church, Sto Nino and the Divine Mercy Photo of Jesus. 

We went home in a festive mode with a hearty dinner plus that tasty ice cream dissert. We thought the night would just end after  the family rosary prayer.  Yet I pursued with finishing some school work while my husband turned on the television where I saw some really very poor family from a very depressed …squatter area in Luzon.  I was really caught unaware to how I emotionally reacted to the kids being raised alone by the mother.  They missed meals, naked with big tummies, sleeps without blanket, very dirty surroundings.  And I just caught myself really shedding tears of remorse to how this family has survived the situation.

Then I just slipped my hand through my husband’s as I continued with my tears and told him how we have complained at times over some minor difficulties and there are a lot of people that have suffered more (oh I was just so glad that we did not have to be so lavish with this day) …with poverty in our country.

Really  I am glad there is mothers’ day but to some mothers that  are really very poor could not appreciate celebrating such.  You know why?  They do not focus on the celebration.  They are seeing where they are and how they could survive the difficulties that they are into.

I was so overwhelmed with what I saw.  Yet my husband just told me and pointed  to our house assistant Welma.  She is our mission.  We could be her own parents since she herself came from a very poor family in Bukidnon that could hardly eat their meals in a day.

There is so much to do in the world.  While others desire for so many things.  I do hope I  could invite any of you to  at least include in our desires helping even one person that really needs financial help.

You know what I desire so much after that?  My heart hungers so much to take care of a lot of God’s children.  The innocent ones.  More than that, one day I would focus my attention to taking good care of adolescents so that one day they would spend their energies  finishing their studies and become much better parents and provider to their own children someday…God’s dear children.

Again, I am glad the world celebrates motherhood.  But I would be more glad if we could be mothers even to children that are not really our own.  True motherhood does not only limit  to taking care of biological children.  It is also about nurturing and taking good care of those children that need our care, unconditional love, guidance, protection, those who have no one to run to or are rejected by their own families, etc. 

To the Ladies...

... we can be all mothers right? …in any way we can…J we just have to reach out and give ourselves…  To those that don’t have children…why not consider adopting one…Oh you could be the one that could save the future of one of God’s little ones who have no one to embrace him / her.  You can be what he or she longs to have in this child’s heart.  You could be this child’s answer to his / her prayers.  God bless you everyone and all the mothers throughout the world. :-)