http://farrymind.blogspot.com/2011/02/nature.html
There is that space in between stimulus and reaction. I call it a sacred space. You know why? It is a space where processing of information and weighing how to react happen. In Psychology, stimulus is that which triggers reaction. It is the basis and source of action. Sometimes blame is thrown at it after action or reaction. Reaction on the other hand, is defined in this article as an after effect to something or any circumstance in our life that did not pass through the process of thinking, processing and weighing. Reaction is manifested in action.
Why am I sharing this? I had an encounter last night with someone from whom I claimed something that was mine. I left it under his care for more than a month and it was gone. We had negotiations. I pulled out and felt anger creeping inside. Good thing I and my husband decided just to stroll a little to sort things out. I was still furious.
I wanted to go back and really fight for it. I was imagining all sorts of things to say in anger. I was rehearsing in my mind…all the “if he will say this, I will ask or say this” sort of things. But then I realize it may be too much for me to bear for the night. I was so angry while my husband discussed all possible options. I was not listening. I pulled out and went on “silent mode” that I felt I may be misinterpreted by my husband already. I did not want that to happen. I decided to discuss with him what happened with me …on and on.
And so…the space…that sacred space I am talking about in this blog. If this is not considered, this can ruin relationships and may lead to gross consequences. Based on readings and experiences, a lot of damages have happened related to this.
Space is just that moment to stop, wait, ponder, relax, not do anything, perhaps stop thinking for a while, breath life to its best, pray, and come up with the best action…I would say the most loving action in order to respond to the situation. Response is a product of a well thought of decision. Reaction is the opposite.
I have seen different facets of downfall in this regard. Let’s journey together and grow in this area… I tell you...last night, I asked God’s big dozes of His grace to keep me intact. I had His strength…nothing beats our God..:-) And then I realize that in those moments when I lost my hold, I might have forgotten to ask His help…
Can you relate with me in this?:-)
Why am I sharing this? I had an encounter last night with someone from whom I claimed something that was mine. I left it under his care for more than a month and it was gone. We had negotiations. I pulled out and felt anger creeping inside. Good thing I and my husband decided just to stroll a little to sort things out. I was still furious.
I wanted to go back and really fight for it. I was imagining all sorts of things to say in anger. I was rehearsing in my mind…all the “if he will say this, I will ask or say this” sort of things. But then I realize it may be too much for me to bear for the night. I was so angry while my husband discussed all possible options. I was not listening. I pulled out and went on “silent mode” that I felt I may be misinterpreted by my husband already. I did not want that to happen. I decided to discuss with him what happened with me …on and on.
And so…the space…that sacred space I am talking about in this blog. If this is not considered, this can ruin relationships and may lead to gross consequences. Based on readings and experiences, a lot of damages have happened related to this.
Space is just that moment to stop, wait, ponder, relax, not do anything, perhaps stop thinking for a while, breath life to its best, pray, and come up with the best action…I would say the most loving action in order to respond to the situation. Response is a product of a well thought of decision. Reaction is the opposite.
I have seen different facets of downfall in this regard. Let’s journey together and grow in this area… I tell you...last night, I asked God’s big dozes of His grace to keep me intact. I had His strength…nothing beats our God..:-) And then I realize that in those moments when I lost my hold, I might have forgotten to ask His help…
Can you relate with me in this?:-)
..it's true my friend..
ReplyDeletethere are moments we cannot hold on to anger and react right away..but hey, what matters is we acknowledge and know whats going on within us..
sometimes, there are things or words that are better to be left unsaid and undone...
in times like this.. i really need to figure it out and ask God for enlightenment and to give me more patience.. and more positive vibes...
indeed, life is so 'life' jud ;).. hehehhehe. ajah!!!!
hahhahaha so life jud gie...so colorful...like our emotions noh...makes us realize we are human...and we have emotions to deal with ...great challenge gyud gie noh...thanks...right my friend very...right hehehe great journey ahead gyud mwah God bless!
ReplyDelete..beautiful realizations jud dang!!!
ReplyDeleteand of course, let's stay beautiful inside-out!!!
dili lng jud ta big girls dang... Ladies na jud ta o women in action..hahahahhahaha ;)
what a journey jud!!!!kng ang season naay four seasons..ang life labaw pa..heheh naa pay tsunami and everything..hehehhe but then again, God is bigger than these seasons of life...kng ang uban mu kapit sa patalim..kita kapit jud ta kay God..hehehhe
hahahhahaa m having fun with your tsunami gie amen friendship...kapit ever with God :-)bitaw na miss taka and ato crazy laughter...:-) mwah mwah
ReplyDeletehi dang, when i said im going to be your fan i mean it, i meant every word said.....well, im a choleric type of person and yes i have ended hurting others in the past, but i have learned my lesson. But when I started to keep my composure during discussions and just kept silent others would think other things and misinterpret. well thats life, its full puzzles, full of mystery even people could be confusing at times, but I get reminded with the sermon of our speaker at church service yesterday that we should be sloe to anger, its there in james 1:19-20. Quick to listen and slow to speak. But when there is anger its so hard to hold our tongue but for me its better that way.
ReplyDeletehappy many postings to read....im looking forward....
have a nice day and God bless....
Hello...indeed very true...hard to hold ourselves...but very challenging...thank you for giving me bible verses Zelmarq...that would be a great reminder...and thank you again...m following your blogs too...i would love to journey with your life and get to know you more:-).. God bless you too:-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you wrote here Mrs G! It is important to stay calm and composed despite negative impulses. I also agree when you said that we need to give ourselves even a short pause to process and think of about a better way to respond to the negative impulse. Although it is okay to get angry. Jesus himself got angry and chased away all the people who made His temple a market place... I remember the late Dr. Gica (one of my favorite teachers in Educ.) saying it is okay to be angry sometimes if it is the only way to show that you care...that you love.
ReplyDeleteFr. Manoling Francisco, in one of the ISEWs, also said that our feelings don't cause us to sin. They are involuntary in nature. It is the reaction to the feeling that perhaps leads us into sinning. I guess my point is...For me, it is okay to tell that friend of yours that you are disappointed and angry because of what he did. That person needs to know so he would also learn in the process.
ReplyDeleteBut of course we will need the "space" that you are suggesting here in this post to help us shape whatever will come out of us in the process. Because then, in the process, even though we expressed our anger, we would still appear to be "meaning well" and not putting down the other person...heheheh... You see! You are also a good facilitator! You make me want to write more.
ReplyDeletehehehe i like it when you phrase yourself Jake...so wise and full of learnings aside from your intelligence...so beautifully said...exactly...space doesn't mean we don't do anything...but we phrase our moves in the most loving response we can...despite the pain from the truth ...but still the motive is clear...love and no other...thanks soo so much friendship...again so beautiful...well...we do facilitate each other ...don't you think...our support make us both extract from our inner sources...from the same Source:-) soooo beautiful...so Godly...and so God Himself:-) thanks so much mwah :-)
ReplyDelete