http://www.fotosearch.com/DGT384/ddl0027/
I was a people-pleaser person. I wanted people to like me and what I did. But then I grew up and learned more. I realize that it is fine to tell the truth even if it hurts. Truth makes us grow. In fact, the best of growth comes from it.
I learned even more of it when I took a leadership position. As I follow rules, procedures and was doing things related to it, I learned the hardest of firmness and sticking to what should be. But there are times when rules are bent so as to allow and consider the human side most affected by it.
Take for example a particular trainee that came in 30-minute late. My automatic reaction was not to let her come in. I invited her to join me for a one-on-one talk. I was asking for explanations of her lateness. She seemed to be on top of things trying to put one explanation on top of the other so as to convince me. While I was listening, simultaneously, I was waiting for that part wherein, I would feel her sincerity but she kept on mumbling more reasons for her lateness.
I was not suspicious. I was intently listening. It seemed that I was not getting into and at the heart and felt it at the gut level. And so I made that painful decision not to make her pursue with the training. But then compassion-wise (if there is such a word) dictated me to make her join the next batch coming in to the same day that she left unattended only.
The fact that I pulled her out so that we could discuss was a hint to my openness to a possibility of letting her in. But the gut level pushed me to make her learn such as valuing time, stop lying, commitment to the training process, etc. Waiting for her to join the next batch would be an opportunity to look into herself (i hope she would see my intention).
Imagine a 30- minute late that turned out to be an opportunity for growth. But from the trainee's side, she could be angry with me for doing that. But then also, I am no longer apt to pleasing her or doing the nicey-nicey thing this time. I just wanted to tell her that she may have gotten really good scores in the exams but she had to learn something...that of character...:-) This is something that I told some of my colleagues - knowledge minus good character is empty... It is still good character that thrives:-)
What do you think?
PS.: I was not really good at hurting others. But there were times when I had to say (properly) something to correct a behavior (regardless of how it would be received). I just feel that this approach may be or can be applied at home with building children's character or at school's formation program:-). I have a whole wide of challenging decision making situations related to this. Really tough but I find myself growing as a person:-) and hopefully make room for learning at the other end.
I learned even more of it when I took a leadership position. As I follow rules, procedures and was doing things related to it, I learned the hardest of firmness and sticking to what should be. But there are times when rules are bent so as to allow and consider the human side most affected by it.
Take for example a particular trainee that came in 30-minute late. My automatic reaction was not to let her come in. I invited her to join me for a one-on-one talk. I was asking for explanations of her lateness. She seemed to be on top of things trying to put one explanation on top of the other so as to convince me. While I was listening, simultaneously, I was waiting for that part wherein, I would feel her sincerity but she kept on mumbling more reasons for her lateness.
I was not suspicious. I was intently listening. It seemed that I was not getting into and at the heart and felt it at the gut level. And so I made that painful decision not to make her pursue with the training. But then compassion-wise (if there is such a word) dictated me to make her join the next batch coming in to the same day that she left unattended only.
The fact that I pulled her out so that we could discuss was a hint to my openness to a possibility of letting her in. But the gut level pushed me to make her learn such as valuing time, stop lying, commitment to the training process, etc. Waiting for her to join the next batch would be an opportunity to look into herself (i hope she would see my intention).
Imagine a 30- minute late that turned out to be an opportunity for growth. But from the trainee's side, she could be angry with me for doing that. But then also, I am no longer apt to pleasing her or doing the nicey-nicey thing this time. I just wanted to tell her that she may have gotten really good scores in the exams but she had to learn something...that of character...:-) This is something that I told some of my colleagues - knowledge minus good character is empty... It is still good character that thrives:-)
What do you think?
PS.: I was not really good at hurting others. But there were times when I had to say (properly) something to correct a behavior (regardless of how it would be received). I just feel that this approach may be or can be applied at home with building children's character or at school's formation program:-). I have a whole wide of challenging decision making situations related to this. Really tough but I find myself growing as a person:-) and hopefully make room for learning at the other end.
being in a position ---> we need to be firm with rules/SOP/guidelines.. correct jud ka dang, it hurts us enforcer of the rules seeing someone being 'rejected'. .. kinahnaglan man jud... chaos' gubot, walay systema kng dili mo follow sa rules...usahay mo-deviate ta sa rules but depende sa judgement --> knahanglan objective og dili maka threaten/makaguba sa process... hahay!!!! mao pod na ako delimma friendship..
ReplyDeletei like the 'KNOWLEDGE WITHOUT CHARACTER IS EMPTY!' --> daghan kaayo na karon in a workplace..sad to say...usahay they used their position to deviate the rules..
tnx my friend.. nice one...
Hello gie:-) very right...great challenge gyud mag lead noh...while we strive to be true to ourselves...we need not forget our character...very challenging gyud gie....striking the balance :-0 Thanks for your comments ha:-0 thanks ...so much ...God bless you always and your husband:-)
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