Nothing Beats...the Third

I searched for answers lately with the restlessness that my heart had felt for a number of days. Despite the busy schedule preparing for the last training before I got sick, the numbness grew and I fell short for answers until i declared "I'm lost".

The last training that i facilitated was on Stress Management. Ironically, while facilitating, I felt the stressors taking its toll on me. I cried within to just stop until my illness gave the last declaration of the longest break ever since I stopped working from my previous employer.

I took my break seriously. I had medications, vitamins and meditation combined. It was such a desperate re-view of my life.

Firstly, I checked my activities - work, school, wedding preparations and business. Quite a lot for one woman to accomplish everything. I had them put on schedule but my body was so tired. I thought a lot of the pressures and deadlines but my body simply gave in to the illness...i was so tired and i cannot stop thinking of the pressures of the things i enumerated to be accomplished. I did not realize that i have been conditioning my body for the past months to just work...work ...work...

Secondly, I checked my relationships. Past experiences with people that hurt me seem to be coming back and I have not squarely dealt with them that that when my body gave in to stress, i gave in to the temptation of recalling the past. As my body got tired, my spirit slowed down too (though sometimes it's the reverse).

I also check my current relationships most especially people close to my heart. And i realized i struggled and juggled a lot but i had to face the truth that they are the closest I have. I knew I would get a lot of life's vitamins if I would take the time to take care of these relationships.

And so I spent time with Mike even if he's in Malaybalay (though i get to speak with him over the phone only). I also decided to have a date with my friends last Saturday over lunch and coffee in the afternoon plus the doze of chikka and kumustahan...nakakataba ng puso hehehe. And, I got lots of those sleep and a massage from manang ann (the one that gives us hilot when we are sick at home).

Lastly, I checked my relationship with my God, spent time with prayer in the morning and at night and kept my focus and "gaze" while i did the regular things at home (since I was absent at work). When I became so dependent with paracetamol to deal with fever I knew I had more than physical condition to deal with. I knew I had a "soul" condition. And so spiritual cleansing has to be the next move. I simply decided to get serious with beating the physical tiredness and plunge into the meditation and relaxation intervals. And it did well up to the present.


And so I decided to forgo some of the tasks including graduate studies and went back to engaging with things that I love doing such as blogging, exercising, praying, wasting time with michael (but i really spend more time with Tobby - feeling imported dog hahahhahahahahha), family and friends, sleep, read books, write training modules...etc.(lately, i get to spend time watching a Filipino soap opera entitled 100 DAYS TO HEAVEN...splendid).

Currently also, though i am dealing a very challenging situation at work, I feel a God so strong providing such sturdy body and soul for me to face the challenge. Mine is a strong foundation...Mine is the God the speaks like that of the wind and bristles the soul to perfection. He is always on the go for my shape and definition. I am His and even if my body gets tired...His Spirit continues and restlessly penetrates my being ...the mission continues...

And so among the three approaches I had the most of healing with checking my relationship with God through prayer and meditation...nothing beats the third.