I Was Reminded By My Daughter Not to Take Life Seriously...

 

One day I was left alone with my daughter.  All of a sudden she defecated and I had to clean her up.  And oh I panicked at seeing lots of it that I had to double my effort and make my moves faster than the previous one.  Another thing was I had to apply a new “strategy” (hahaha as if something so big) so as she won’t be able to touch any of it.  “Oh what a challenging task I have”  …that I thought. 

And so I started cleaning her up.  I just felt that she might have sensed my panic.  She looked at my eyes straight giggled and giggled and played with her hands attempting to touch down.  She did that several times over with her cute way  of “flirting” with mommy (hahahha) while I panicked and tried to take her hands out.  And all of a sudden I realized how my daughter just had such wonderful time and fun at that moment while I resisted and refused to join her.

Then I thought and asked myself “how many times have I been so rigid and just went on at finishing some tasks without considering that there can be fun even in the most difficult or challenging situations”.  It was just that simple task and I thought I simply missed the fun and bonding with my own “little lady”.

I remember one job interview I had.  I went straight to that event anxiously and got in first among others.  Minutes after, applicants / interviewees came one after the other and sat beside me lining up as anxious as I was.  As I was waiting for my turn, I had a chance to talk at one of them and realized that I started to loosen up and had fun.  Then I simply blurted to the other applicant “why can’t we just simply have fun…having this opportunity to be interviewed is already a reward in itself. “

You see…for me… rather than focus on  fear ,  why would we then choose to enjoy such encounter with different individuals like the applicants and the panel.  I don’t want to lose site of the beauty and fun of having to meet different individuals.  The point was I simply wanted to have fun whether I would get the position or not. 

Life does not end with being refused of something.  We are not deprived of something when we don’t get what we aspire.  It means there is something much better for us and I am very open to “the much better offer” than settle for something that is not really meant for me.  Perhaps I just learned so much from life.  From its plain and simple flow.  That is not to really struggle anymore. 

Accept and move on is something so beautiful that I learned and…to simply enjoy life… that I was being reminded  from my own beautiful daughter.  Thank you God…her innocence reminds me so much of …YOU…:-)

A Priest Shares Three Things We Could Do Before We Die...Here's Mine

https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=Mission+photos

I had a chance to talk to one of my favourite professors Dr. Saturnina B. Absin, last weekend.  She said that one time in the past a President of the University named Fr. Jett Villarin, SJ  shared three things we can do before we die -  climb a mountain, plant a tree and write a book.  For others it may be different. 

Honestly, during this writing I am still figuring out what these three things are.  Even the thought of dying still frightens me.  Not so long ago when I was single and has been single for a long time (hahaahha really long ha), I thought I could die earlier anyway since I found myself just “roaming the world” endlessly and has not really found such meaning with what I had been doing.  So the thought of dying early was the product of frustration of the unfulfilled desire of not having married at what I thought was the right age for me.  It was soo frustrating at that time. 

You see when one thinks of dying, it is like having those unconscious or perhaps conscious suicidal thoughts.  It happens a lot to those that have really lost meaning with life and living. 

But hey let me go back to the thinking of dying at the moment.  I get frightened.  You know why?  I found such great meaning and value to where I am.  Having a husband and a little girl to take care of really put me right on track with life. I feel I have the direction to pursue.  I feel that I need to take care of myself since I have a family to take care of.  Though dying is imminent, yet I pray everyday that I would still live so that I could continue serving my family.  Living today has meaning for me.  Living each day is living for the family I dearly love.

Still I could not deny such invitation and consider that three things that I would be doing before the imminent death takes place.  Hmmm  I am still afraid but the following runs in my mind and heart.

First, is to continue loving my family.  I love my family so much – my husband Mike and Mikaela.  I call them both , the two M’s in my life.  I know in my heart that I would always  be there for both of them until the day I die (ohh now I am saying it heheh).  Loving them both is equal to serving them in any way I can.

Second,  is to teach, train and facilitate learning.  One Jesuit priest Fr. Bulatao directly told me ones in the past when I joined one of his seminars – workshop “your hand is saying that I AM A TEACHER”.  I resisted it at first.  I was then a BS Psychology student.  Though I understand that being a teacher does not necessarily mean having that formal training such that enrolling in the course itself yet today I am into it and even went as far as doing post graduate studies.  Huh…can’t take my eyes of you thing ha heheh.  Thanks to that Jesuit priest that led me to my life’s mission work.

Last, is to write and publish a book.  Not just a single book but I guess lots of it.  I like writing so much even with a lot of “crooked lines”.  It has led me to sharing myself, views, values and how I look at life and the world.  I have plunged and risked being known and perhaps  judged by others but I feel so home everytime I write.  I find it so swift, so natural and soo soo much of God in me shared to the world through this gift that He gave me (Ohhh Thank you so much God).     

So how is it then for you?  Are you brave enough to answer the question ‘What are the three things that you would do before you die?’.  Please do not be afraid.  The question directs us to our life’s mission.  It gives us meaning.  It deepens our connection with life and ultimately...God.  This reminds me of a quote   from Pope John Paul VI:

"Somebody should have told us right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of everyday. Do it I say! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."

Family As the Center of Formation

The following is an article / reflection that I submitted in one of my subjects in the graduate school...

“Happy and Cheerful as our family must be, still we cannot lose sight of one of its principal functions :  It has to be a center of formation of every member of the family.”

The line above, from the article Swimming Againts the Current :  The Family (Part 2)  greatly caught my attention.  I believe in the same line.  When I was a young counsellor of a high school, I felt that school’s formation is really crucial to the development of a student.  But as one parent, in one of those “bloody” encounters blamed the school for not doing what it should have done.  I really thought at that time given the background of this “absentee” parent that perhaps she has forgotten that she was the first and most crucial formator of her own child.

Young as I was, I saw the different painful realities that students have struggled at home.  A lot of them have shared with me how their own homes have become the seat of problems that they blamed their own parents for not being able to guide and support them where they were. 

In the first place why did they go to a guidance counsellor if they felt that they could run to their own parents for assistance.  Our roles as counsellors should only be to support parents not as the source of primary help.  A lot of parents come to us to call their children and made us ask them what their concerns were so that they would know. 

Homes have to be the seat of values formation.  Homes have to be that nest where children are first and foremost honed and trained.  Unfortunately, a number of homes have become again, the seat of problems and trauma whereby children run away from to escape the painful realities that they encounter there.  What follows next would be an adolescent not formed well goes out to the world to seek solace and comfort from wrong companies.  Friends who are in themselves also are products of problematic home environment.  From this we could infer  “the blind leading the blind”.

What would become of them someday?  The same misguided students will soon build up their own families.  All I am saying is that it would create a ripple effect to the very families that they would soon build.  Though some rise from their problematic situation and learn to do well when they become parents.  But studies would highly correlate that an adolescent that comes from a problematic home environment would create the same in the very family that he would soon create for himself.  So sad but this is a reality.

Family.  It is such a challenge to strengthen family life.  The very values that the family keep would really contaminate its members.  If the family uphold respect, commitment, love of work, love of God and neighbour, the same would be brought out by them when they go out of their homes.  Members of this kind of family are not easily swayed by the temptations of the world.  They could easily withstand the harsh realities outside of home.  They are not easily threatened by any negative values outside of what they uphold at home.  They are very secure individuals.  They go home and still feel intact.  They are the most joyful individuals trying to capture moments of growth. 

Lastly, a home with God present in it is a joyful and a happy home.  From experience, a family without God in it  is doomed to fail.  God is the only unitive force in this world that dispenses His power to pour down all the graces protection and love to each member of the family.  God has to be present.  He is the true strength of a family.  And I deeply believe that…”A Family that Prays Together…Stays together”. J

The "ULIRANG MAMAMAYAN" Award 2013

I was there in that podium at the AVR 1 of Xavier University on March 9, 2013 to culminate the Filipino Society class project through the task of an emcee for an activity program called “ULIRANG MAMAMAYAN” Award with a very talented partner -  emcee named Rico Ocangas ( a Filipino teacher of the University).  As I traversed through the entire activity with mixture of emotions watching and listening from the chosen awardees from the four groups formed at the beginning of the semester,  a question was running in my mind “What would entail raising a ‘hero’ in my family?”.

I got married on October 1, 2011 at the Bishop’s Palace chapel beside St. Augustine Cathedral.  It was a very intimate encounter with God with very few witnesses -   family members, very close relatives and friends.  Before plunging into our lifetime commitment with God and each other,  I and my  then fiance were clear of the motives why we would finally take our vows before God.  I knew that time that it was not just a simple “yes and I do’s” before God.  It was a product of a long discernment for us out of love for each other.

After two months in our married life, I got pregnant and we were blessed with a premature little girl aging 7 and a half months after that.  It was one of the greatest challenges we had since the wedding being confronted by such.  From then I simply took care of her harnessing my skills in baby sitting every day as I decided to do part time work only so that I would be able to focus on this new love-tasks (this is how I call it) for my “little lady”  (this is how I fondly call my daughter Maria Mikaela). 

What is the connection of my family to  the event on March 9, 2013?  So closely tied.  Again, I would post in here the question that ran in my mind during the activity “What would entail raising a ‘hero’ in my family?”.  Raising someone that would be able to do a heroic work someday is quite an ambitious pursuit.  But how many of the parents that we have thought of this for their own children form the very beginning.  I did not at first.  The activity led and inspired me so much.

One of the awardees, a 21 year old young pastor’s video really made me goose-skinned and moved me to tears.  He started so young serving the Lord.  I saw how he was deeply involved with the formation of the young people also making himself as a good example to them.  Looking and hearing at how his own parents described him, I was able to sense their pride at how their own son has become at present.

Will I say the same thing to my “little lady” Maria Mikaela someday?  I am not really certain of the future but one thing that was born from my heart at that time.  I will commit myself to being a good wife to my husband and mom to my Mikaela so that she may be able to see a model in me which she could emulate one day for herself.  But “NO” I don’t want to make a forced mould for her to fit in.  I will try to make a different “mould” of formation that is truly founded in God. I want her to see good values in us as parents so that she could fly through her own beautiful wings and create a hard core mould of love.

with my dear daughter Maria Mikaela...:-)

Moreover, I will lead my daughter into the kind of heart that does not see competition in everything that she does.  I was trained since I was a kid to follow my heart. I would do the same to my own daughter.  I want her to find her way and find joy in what she does than thinking of competing, comparing, winning and many other values of the world that would lead to self glorification and selfishness. 

As a parent also, I will not make my daughter think that she will be always rewarded with great efforts.  Doing good for others is a reward in itself.  We may not get the acknowledgement that we deserve or that she may deserve yet, this should not make her stop and be bitter.  Doing good for others and ultimately true service is a product of love.  It cannot amount to anything as the world sees it.  Its reward is not for this world but for afterlife.  I want my daughter to always have and keep that truth in her heart.

Other than the question that I had in mind during the ceremony, there are few other things though that the experience brought me.  The same experience tested my values as a person as I was bombarded by some negative emotions.   Many times my patience was tested in the preparation process.  I tried so hard to listen so that I would understand  better and myself why I felt such challenging emotions.

It was never easy at first.  How I wished that I could just simply decide and act immediately on my anger.  Yet, I extended myself further and moved the extra mile of offering kindness rather than proving another person wrong.

I do believe that despite our human weaknesses, when given such chances we can overcome that part of us that struggles to do good and we would be able to find that link for a comeback to the truth of us that says “ I am good and I am capable at accomplishing something”.  I made myself feel also that I have that gift and grace to forgive and give others the second chance at something.  I believe I gave the same to myself, too that time.

Lastly, I highly thank our professor Dr. Saturnina B. Absin for such a wonderful initiative.  It was such “heroic” of her to lead all of us into such kind of experience.  The theme “Unsung Heroes : Our Models “  greatly fit her as I joyfully acknowledge such work of a teacher / professor in the university.  As the saying goes “we can never give what we don’t have”.  So she was.  She was one of those Unsung Heroes that I am now singing in this writing and reflection.   I am making her my hero. 

She simply started our class this semester (2^nd sem – SY 2012 – 2013 ) with the question “What do you want to be if you have the chance to change your life?” (I hope I got the question rightJ ).   It was such a simple start of the class that brought forth into something that challenged us to “simply listen to our hearts” as the sole criteria to the selection process.  Our hearts that simply “saw” the true beauty of the selected awardees to be able to come out like that in the awarding ceremony.

Beautiful…oh sooo…beautiful…and I believe is perfect in the eyes of God.

PS…I was excited to go home and embraced my husband and little lady.  From that beautiful ceremony that awakened that “beauty” in me, I simply declared when I got home  “let me share such beautiful encounter to my husband and little lady”…I gave them both such beauuuutiffuuul hug and just showed them how I looked with the gown during the ceremony…hmmmm more than anything I just missed them both hehehe…