When You "Don't Like" Your Boss

http://vannuys.olx.com/sales-reps-trainers-and-managers-iid-65658541

“Liking”  is  so much associated with emotion.  Emotions  go up and down and do some twists and turns.  Working with someone should not follow that way.  Someone can mean anyone in the workplace.

Let’s be more specific and that would be working with your boss, supervisor or manager or someone in the high ladder for the company to whom you would particularly submit yourself.  Your boss expects or may expect of you a lot from you.  But does your boss meet your expectations or what you expect of him?

So what if he does not meet your set of “so called” standards?  What if you got into your workplace with the following descriptions of your leader :

1.       Very disorganized

2.      Biased with evaluation

3.      Highly emotional and seem to spill “fire” everytime he talks

4.       Hungry with going up the ladder that projects as if the department accomplishments are his and his alone

5.      Does not seem to like having a department meeting or communicating necessary information that needed to be communicated to department members

6.      Does not appreciate your effort and positive contribution to the department

7.      Always absent

...and a lot more... and so you say ...”grrrrr why is this person in the position?”.  You stretch your patience to the limit that everyday working with this person is like carrying the buckets, loads of  big trucks of rocks all placed on your shoulders.  Just joking.  But really there are those inviduals that have really suffered so much working with these behaviors of leaders.  

Sadly also, working with someone or anyone is not about ”liking”.  You are primarily hired to do your job.   If we happen to like our leaders, I would call it a”bonus”.  Also, if your intention or motive of working is clear with you such that your work achieves so much of the purpose to which you were put into this world then the character or behavior of your leader won’t shake you a bit. 

This one secret I should tell you...nobody should stop you from doing good and to positively influence and affect the lives of others.  If a teacher doing his job well led to inspiring lots of students or if a simple laborer in a company led to others to a realization of valuing their work like that of a food chain crew that sings and dances while entertaining her customers.  Then that is making a defference by itself.

 If being pist off with one leader would pull your work performance down then you have allowed yourself to be a victim to the ”tempation” of being indifferent and some other negative emotions that would deviate you from your true prupose. 

And I should say, your ultimate purpose is ”to make a difference and to positively affect lives of others wherever you are”.  One poster I saw in the past says...”Grow where you are planted”.  Quite a mouthful but does that make sense to you?

Again going back to your boss...whether you like it or not, he is your boss.  You work with him for the company.  My own sister bluntly reminded me during my first year of work ...” He does not give you your paycheck.  So go ahead continue to work.  Do not allow him to ruin your career or the purpose to which you are called to do.”

If one day you decide to leave your job, it should not be because your feel being opressed by your boss or leader.  It should be because you feel you want to move on and you are able to find a better place where you could best share yourself in service to others. 

I did experience the same thing.  And I felt at firts I had no choice but to go on working.  Everyday was like an unconscious desire for independence.  That was to pull away and perhaps submit my resignation one day.  I really did that in the end to give in to the growing restlessness in my heart.

Before I close this part, let me share with you something that caught me by surprise.  I know of someone who despite the effort of his boss ( I guess he has a good leader compared to others that I know of ) to reach out, he does not like him still.  You know why?  He sees his boss as his competitor. 

Hmmm, he is aiming to climb the ladder fast and wanted to at least do away with his boss leading him to do all types of havoc or shall I say ”commotions” of negative talks in the department just to ruin the reputation of his leader.  Wow such a brave soul to do that. 

Well...what about you?  what challenges would you be willing to face in your workplaces related to the leadership of you bosses?  

Thanks for dropping by my friends..God bless you all!!!

The Power of Prayer

I set my alarm clock each morning for the milk feeding of my little girl.  I hardly spend immediate time in prayer as I rush to the feeding set and prepare for it.  Feed.  Make her relax for a while then have her early morning bath. I take my breakfast and say my prayer before meals prayer in rush.  Make my daughter take her “solid – puree mixed” blended vegetables.  After which  I would remember late in the morning that I forgot to pray.  So I would mention some “rush” prayer. 

Rush…rush …rush.  I seemed to have done things in rush particularly my time for God.  I am a little ashamed to admit that there was a time that this has become a routine.  Not until I heard a Eucharistic celebration where the priest that just joined an Asian convention …a so huge gathering of the devotees of the Divine Mercy shared how it was when he joined it.  What struck me the most was when he said “…we are underestimating the power of God”.     

What did he mean by that?  Underestimating the power of God  meant that we are walking around living our life not minding at all what God could have done with our life.  We have not really accessed Him in all capacities.  He is so available each moment yet, each of these moments is spent as if He is not reachable.  We live life “doing our way” most of the time.

Let me give you an example.  I and my husband like so much to discuss anything including our plans for the future.  In my own moments, I would always feel so far from those we discussed or I felt negative about them that they felt so unreachable.  After hearing that mass with that priest I felt God has to be involved in our plans.  So I shared the same with my husband.  I had difficulty though answering his question “how would we know if our plans are what God wants and wills for us?”.  That is such a big question to answer (which I would deal in my future writing in the simples possible way that I can) yet, we really decided to make time for it so that we would be guided in our plans. 

I guess I and my husband just reached that point when we both felt God has to be seriously involved in our lives and life as a family.  We would want also to prepare our daughter to a future where she could stand firm and grounded with her values.  And we could not see any other way of doing it except really bring her closer to God through prayer

We do pray together as a family – rosary and the Divine Mercy devotion.  I and my husband were able to witness first and foremost how our now 9 - month old baby responded to it.  Before each session starts, I make her sit on my lap.  When we start with sign of the cross, I feel in all those prayer dates together that she starts to compose herself and stops with hopping on my lap together with her giggles and some of those sleepy cry.  She simply participated by being silent and listens to whoever is talking. 

Her eyes seem to try to figure out what we are doing.  At my end,  I do not totally understand how she automatically behaved during prayer time but I sensed some calming effect it gives to her including her moods.  And if she is so sleepy already she just dozes off in my arms. 

At times when I was so ON with those angry mood, I felt its power when I automatically ask for help from God to calm me down.   And I could easily think and process myself immediately right there and then.  I could sense that I could immediately weigh its consequences and decide to immediately move away from it.  Through the grace brought about by prayer, I learned how to set aside the personal desire to be satisfied with my anger.  Another grace brought in by prayer is forgiveness.  In fact after I decide to forgive,  the funniest of all is that I am  able to forget the incident including the train of thoughts and reasons why I should be angry. 

Moreover, it is grace to be able to see more of the goodness of the person than bank on and stick with the lie that the other is no good or good for nothing (hmmm let me give you a tip…do not listen to the voice in your mind that says that).   As I see the goodness in the other and the capacity of the other to continue to really care and do good for others, I am able to feel compassion to extend myself even more. 

Let me end this by going back to that priest sharing his homily during the mass.  He mentioned that since he no longer underestimates the power of God, he asks not of small things but really huge ones.  And He found God to have provided them all.  Hmmm I thought that time how he was able to convince God with those huge requests (hheheeh).  He said he explained to God how others would be blessed even more if He grants them.  As simple as that.  But let me give you another tip… God does not really need  an explanation…ahahah He can read our motives through our hearts. 

Hmmm. I hope you have seen the other point, too.  Whatever we ask for in prayer…it will be granted for as long as it is in line with His will.  His mission…of doing good to a lot of people.  So you may now wonder why some of our prayers were not granted?  Oops I may be to judgmental hehe please don’t get me wrong, some would really come in His own time.   Hmmm we can never manipulate God to have it our way right.  It is always His ways of doing them…for His mission…His time…for the Good of His people…:-)

PS.  Some of those we ask for in prayers may not be really for us…Just trust that God knows better.  Trust even in pain.  In your pain you will learn…and soon enough even without understanding…you will feel God’s gift of …PEACE…

But let me give you another tip… a very close friend told me yesterday that she has been asking God in prayer describing in detail what she wanted.  She almost gave up.  It took years for God to answer them.  And He gave them beyond what she expected.  “Cloud 9” ang friend ko ngayon hehehe…I am sooo happy for her.

....Do not ever ...ever underestimate the power of God...nothing is impossible for Him...you and I know that...He has the Power...He is the greatest power of all...in prayer:-)

From Being YOUNG and RECKLESS...to Being...WISER:-)

https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=wisdom+photos

When I was younger I was so idealistic and reckless.   Idealistic for me means following what is ideal, what is supposed to be even if not really acceptable by the values of the majority.  Reckless means that I react outright to whatever was contrary to what is ideal. 

I remember having to represent a group that told me about their complaints.   After that I ended as if I was the offended party and the one labelled as the problematic one.  I realized that I could have facilitated instead so that those individuals would have done it themselves.  And so I ended up regretting what I did.  Well, I was young, aggressive and so generous with my help. 

As I aged a little, I was more “careful”.  Careful meant more of listening and discerning before I acted on something.  Obviously I learned my lesson and I learned the hardest way. 

Let me talk about wisdom.  They say that wisdom is gotten from a learned experience.  For me learning means being able to “open” one’s consciousness to something new after a painful  experiences including all the happy and joyful experiences we have.  

Let me share my moments of gaining wisdom:-)

I was wiser

....when after the death of my mother I realized I could still go on with life and that there is still meaning to life and living. 

.... to realize that staying single did not really mean that I had no choice to be happy.  

...when I risked leaving my 10 – year job as guidance counsellor in order to embrace the invitation to travel abroad.   

...when I submitted myself to the painful grilling of a Jesuit priest that processed me through a live out 19^th annotation retreat. 

... when I started putting into writing all my insights and share them to you my readers in this blog sight without minding at all whether you would agree with me or not

...when I realized that I had to let go from the comfort of my single life and take off that shield and leap into married life. 

...when I left my job and chose to take care of  until  I delivered my fragile little girl. 

...to realize that I could not please everyone.

...to realize that some individuals may be threatened by my wise, honest and matter of fact answers to the questions during job interviews

...to realize that my younger years have become my training ground to becoming who I am…

...to realize that I would rather shut up my mouth and listen rather than arguing my point and having to prove to others that I am right

...when I realize that I have to stay on the ground and embrace humility in the midst of abundance and success  never to attach myself with accomplishments and titles. 

And…I am NOW WISER… to realize I need God even more and that everything that I have right now is a gift and thus, I continue to share…and share…and share…

And …it is wise to realize that there are a lot more to learn from life …hmmm this is not to exemplify that fact that you can share with me your wisdom to life so that I may grow tooJ  …right friendships?

Thanks for being here my very wise friends:-0 God bless you all:-)

PS...let me highlight ...HUMILITY...as the key to gaining ...GOD'S WISDOM:-)...will you take the challenge with me?  I may be struggling but by God's grace...I am doing it:-) ....hmmm but still struggling hahahhaha mwah mwah

What Being Contented Means to Me

https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=Contentment+photos&newwindow

 CONTENTMENT  for me means being able to go home to a family, embrace my husband and little girl, share my stories of the day, laugh, cry and laugh again.  And more than anything pray with them.  Is there anything more?  Of course there are things other than that but still I prefer my family as my top in the list of the meaning. 

I was living a single for a long time.  I was searching and searching long and tirelessly for my purpose but I never really found something that mattered so much except that I had to contain myself with work ,  further  studies, acquiring things, travels, etc. 

I had lots friends, too.  And they meant so much to me having journeyed with me in my single life.  They are still my friends at the moment.  Most of them have families of their own.  Those singles I rarely meet.  Yet I found the treasure and great memories of them sticking with me through my single life. 

That time also, I had menial desires to have more – money, popularity, excel in academics and to really compete in a lot of ways.  I realize that I had to keep up and stay standing through those desires.  I kept pursuing them yet again I saw them as a mere product  of that restless pursuit of some things that I hardly knew what they were.  I was so lost. 

When I decided to commit to married life.  Things have changed including my perceptions with life.  Many of those things that I valued when I was single they are becoming blurred.  Competing and being noticed do not really taste good.  Complaining about a lot of things do not make sense at all.  I really thought my world has become smaller through my family my time outside may be limited as I am contained with so many things at home.   Yet I realize that where I am is a much better and “bigger” world. 

Here’s why:

My family is better and bigger since it is in here where I found the true meaning of unconditional  love and sacrifice.  I have set aside for awhile my career in order to stay with my little girl when she was born.  When I feel so angry with my husband, I cannot just drop him off or let our marriage fall apart because of that anger. I had to make time with my husband to talk things out.  Saying sorry and forgiveness are so much part of us.  And I thank God for giving me a very forgiving and all embracing husband to my imperfections.

We may not have the luxury of those long dates together when we were still singles  since we don’t allow any nanny yet to take care of our baby but I and my husband make time for each other even late at night when our baby is asleep to have some fun praying together, watching TV, discussing a book we both read, eating midnight snacks, discussing our “not so good behaviour” during the day, resolving some issues in our relationship, or simply drinking our coffee, or just talk while in bed while we snuggle each otherJ ( really fun haJ).

Now that I have gone back to my post graduate studies with the support of my husband, I find it more challenging to manage my time such that while I take care of my daughter at home, I find time to read my notes, prepare my assignments and paper works even up the wee hours of the morning,  then feed my daughter and sleep really late and wake up first to take care again of my daughter.

Sometimes, I find myself sick yet still manage to decide in my mind that I have to be well for my daughter.  And miracle of all miracles I did recover from that.  I really learned not to entertain illness in my mind even if I feel like almost getting sick already.  I learned not to be negative about my health.  I learned to believe in my mind and heart that I am well and very healthy to extend love to my family. 

Going back to my single life, after school, I had my time out with friends, eating out and talking not minding at all the time.  Now that I have my family,  I would excitedly imagine my daughter in my arms plus my dear husband that’s waiting for me at home, too (we take turns with my daughter while he reviews for his “major exam” that he will soon be taking for his career too).

Life is really good …as it is…  I realize we have a choice to go for an uncomplicated path.  And the grace of each moment is made available to all of us through our very own families.  When I made a choice to get married and our daughter came along to join us last year the most of what other say that “they are contented with life” …I found it in full…through my very own family.  I thank the Lord for such a big blessing that He gave me and my husband two years ago through our wedding.  It is not a perfect path yet, God made it a perfect “training” ground for us to see more of His presence in our daily living.  God simply made my family as my simple “seat of contentment” with life. 

Again…Thank you dear God.