What Being Contented Means to Me

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 CONTENTMENT  for me means being able to go home to a family, embrace my husband and little girl, share my stories of the day, laugh, cry and laugh again.  And more than anything pray with them.  Is there anything more?  Of course there are things other than that but still I prefer my family as my top in the list of the meaning. 

I was living a single for a long time.  I was searching and searching long and tirelessly for my purpose but I never really found something that mattered so much except that I had to contain myself with work ,  further  studies, acquiring things, travels, etc. 

I had lots friends, too.  And they meant so much to me having journeyed with me in my single life.  They are still my friends at the moment.  Most of them have families of their own.  Those singles I rarely meet.  Yet I found the treasure and great memories of them sticking with me through my single life. 

That time also, I had menial desires to have more – money, popularity, excel in academics and to really compete in a lot of ways.  I realize that I had to keep up and stay standing through those desires.  I kept pursuing them yet again I saw them as a mere product  of that restless pursuit of some things that I hardly knew what they were.  I was so lost. 

When I decided to commit to married life.  Things have changed including my perceptions with life.  Many of those things that I valued when I was single they are becoming blurred.  Competing and being noticed do not really taste good.  Complaining about a lot of things do not make sense at all.  I really thought my world has become smaller through my family my time outside may be limited as I am contained with so many things at home.   Yet I realize that where I am is a much better and “bigger” world. 

Here’s why:

My family is better and bigger since it is in here where I found the true meaning of unconditional  love and sacrifice.  I have set aside for awhile my career in order to stay with my little girl when she was born.  When I feel so angry with my husband, I cannot just drop him off or let our marriage fall apart because of that anger. I had to make time with my husband to talk things out.  Saying sorry and forgiveness are so much part of us.  And I thank God for giving me a very forgiving and all embracing husband to my imperfections.

We may not have the luxury of those long dates together when we were still singles  since we don’t allow any nanny yet to take care of our baby but I and my husband make time for each other even late at night when our baby is asleep to have some fun praying together, watching TV, discussing a book we both read, eating midnight snacks, discussing our “not so good behaviour” during the day, resolving some issues in our relationship, or simply drinking our coffee, or just talk while in bed while we snuggle each otherJ ( really fun haJ).

Now that I have gone back to my post graduate studies with the support of my husband, I find it more challenging to manage my time such that while I take care of my daughter at home, I find time to read my notes, prepare my assignments and paper works even up the wee hours of the morning,  then feed my daughter and sleep really late and wake up first to take care again of my daughter.

Sometimes, I find myself sick yet still manage to decide in my mind that I have to be well for my daughter.  And miracle of all miracles I did recover from that.  I really learned not to entertain illness in my mind even if I feel like almost getting sick already.  I learned not to be negative about my health.  I learned to believe in my mind and heart that I am well and very healthy to extend love to my family. 

Going back to my single life, after school, I had my time out with friends, eating out and talking not minding at all the time.  Now that I have my family,  I would excitedly imagine my daughter in my arms plus my dear husband that’s waiting for me at home, too (we take turns with my daughter while he reviews for his “major exam” that he will soon be taking for his career too).

Life is really good …as it is…  I realize we have a choice to go for an uncomplicated path.  And the grace of each moment is made available to all of us through our very own families.  When I made a choice to get married and our daughter came along to join us last year the most of what other say that “they are contented with life” …I found it in full…through my very own family.  I thank the Lord for such a big blessing that He gave me and my husband two years ago through our wedding.  It is not a perfect path yet, God made it a perfect “training” ground for us to see more of His presence in our daily living.  God simply made my family as my simple “seat of contentment” with life. 

Again…Thank you dear God.