My Love Letter to My Dear Daughter Maria Mikaela:- Valentine's Day of 2013

My Dear Daughter Mikaela,

I did not really know how to particularly start this love letter to you this first Valentine’s day (February 14, 2013) that you are with us.  I kept on typing and erasing stuffs that I wrote here.  You know why?  I am just simply awed by your presence in our life as a family.

My dear daughter …know always that I love you.  Everything and every gesture that I do everyday from bathing, feeding, changing your diaper, making you sleep, making your bed, cleaning  our room for you to have neat place to stay, washing your clother or when mommy gets to panic when you got that unexpected fever, clogged nose and the intense diaper rash. 

I felt so frightened at not giving you the best of my service and what I could give you.  I was even more frightened when a particular typhoon hit our place and with your fragile body and the previous year’s tragedy, I was in panic at how I would be able to protect and cover you up in case weather would get worse.   I prayed so hard that day Mikaela.  I prayed so hard that God with His angels would protect and spare you from any harm.  But you know what mommy felt more?  I was ready to give up my life just to make you live in whatever sort.  I just want you safe.  And when you slept so soundly in the middle of that storm,  you made mommy learn something.  To simply trust and let go.  I was so ashamed with myself that’s why I loosen up and entrusted everything to God.  

God has put us to test as parents when you were born with your fragile body in the incubator.  God saved you and us as a family.  I should have remembered that.  Oh my daughter...you are such a brave girl...you fought so hard for us your parents.  And you stood firm with your fight to really survive that great test.  You inspire mommy so much and daddy too.  I know that even if I cried and cried in that moment I had to remain strong for the brave girl that you are.  Thank you for sticking with that fight and sticking with us.  You made us so happy and you continue to do that every single day.

My dear daughter I love to see you grow in so many ways - mind, heart and your faith in God. We are greatly challenged for that as parents.  I like to hear you also giggle.  I love seeing that appreciative look in your eyes when you look at me.  I find you cute also when you show me that bite on your lip when you wanted mommy’s milk.  You have your way of communicating that I do understand so well.  Thank you for sending me those messages in your effort to inform me of what you need.  But ohhh you make me panic so much when you wail and I could not even understand what you want or need in that moment.  At times I do cry because I feel helpless at not being able to understand your message …Forgive me for that.  When I feel irritated remember that it is not you but it Is mommy that is tired. 

My dear daughter this is just the first phase of our  journey together.  I together with your dad will do our best to extend ourselves to you with our imperfections and all.  One more thing.  You might hear us with your dad at times in an argument.  You see I feel embarrassed when you gave us that look in one of those moments in the past.  It means that we get caught up with our weaknesses at times and I know it would happen again.  One day you will get to understand about our adult’s world  but everything that we do together is for your welfare.  We are not perfect.  But this I tell you …you are blessed to have such wonderful daddy that is so involved with taking care of you… I love your daddy and you my dear daughter Mikaela… you are both God’s wonderful gift to me…this Valentine’s day…

I love you Maria Mikaela:-)…my little lady…my beautiful girl:-)

Mommy:-)

PS…I wrote my love letter to daddy too…but he wanted it for himself…he does not want it published.  I respect him for that…I know  I made him so happy…One thing …I told your daddy…”I LOVE YOU …FOREVER:-)”