The Word "BUSY"

https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/us/christmas-eve

I made a phone call one mid day.  I asked the receiver"how are you today?  what have you been doing?  what keeps you busy?".  The receiver was my daughter ( as if a 4 year old girl could really entirely grapple what I asked).  The same questions I asked with others and myself, I throw them to my daughter.  My work has taught me to throw pre conditioned questions even to a tiny family member certainly did not get my point.  I even did not get the point why I asked that.  But one thing is certain, I get to "lose my mind" at certain parts of the day when I become so wrapped up with too many things to do.

http://www.shoutmeloud.com/how-to-keep-your-blog-grows-when-you-are-too-busy.html

"Lose my mind" means that I have packed my mind with so many things already that even if I was not talking with anyone, I seemed to have ongoing conversations in my mind. Hahahah please don't get me wrong. I just wanted to do so many things at a time.  And I feel that reality does not give me that luxury of time to finish everything.   And, I realize I keep on using the word "BUSY" which I did  not actually want to use at all.  In short, I have become the word that I did not like.

I took time off.  I went to the mall alone.  I tried to watch movie ...shed few tears ...and tried to hide them from an old lady who tried to check me from time to time.  I missed this time to hang out with me.  To just be with me.  Bring food to the movie house and let out my heart.  I already declared earlier that I needed time for myself since no matter how I tried in the past to let go of work, I kept on counting the many things that are undone.  And I would keep on doing that in my mind.  The best thing to do is then to declare and raise the white flag...to simply surrender...to simple stop ..do nothing ...to just stop deciding...to stop time from enslaving me.  

I thank God that He gave the strength and the courage today to just call it a halt.  

PS ...I don't want my daughter to be like me...but they said...daughters will copy most of their behaviors from their moms...hhhhmmm I think I will just have to spend more time with prayeerrrrr if that would be the case...oohhhhhh...oohhhhh how challenging will that be...