THE MIRROR

One of the activities in my Self – awareness and Values Exploration Workshop would lead one to use a mirror. Though I only gave it to the participants as an assignment, I led them to face the mirror and look at their face squarely, most particularly the eyes.

Why the eyes? I was in college in when I was given the opportunity to give my first talk to college students in the Freshmen Formation (FFP) Program. I was invited by one of the Philosophy teachers who entrusted to me a particular topic. I was so frightened. I was imagining all sorts of bad things that could happen.

One day , prior to the appointed date for such talk, I was combing my hair in front of the mirror. As I was looking at myself straight to the eyes, I captured that moment of fear so clearly displayed before my eyes from my own two pairs of eyes (hahahhaha).

And so I started talking to myself. The conversations went like this :

G : what happened Dang? You seem to be very afraid

Dang : yes I am. You should have not said yes to that invitation

G : why? I believe you can do that

Dang : Who told you I can do that

G : I did and I know … I know you…your capacity…everything about. We’ve been together Dang for years…

Dang : And what does that mean? That doesn’t give you the license to dictate me or decide for me.

G: Oh I am sorry…I should have consulted you first. What do you like now? Do you want to back out?

Dang : why ? Do you want me to do that?

G: Well I am not going to force you if you are not comfortable. But the fact that you know full well about the topic and that you might be able to contribute something good to these students…that would be something worthwhile to do right?

Dang : I believe you. But I am still afraid

G : Oh that…hehe it is fine…I understand you..but we will prepare right?

Dang : You will help me

G: Of course I would…we have been doing things together

Dang : Not when you decided

G : Oh that…again , I am so sorry…

On and on...so on and so forth. That’s how it is with me. I get to apply the same process with the participants in my workshops. It did well to me and it was with them, too. It boosted my and their self-esteem in the process (hehe as far as I know from the sharings of the participants).

And so everytime I get to feel any of the extremes of emotions (except in public hehehe I can't use my face powder mirror), I allow and waste time with myself on the mirror.

The eyes are the windows of the soul. The seat of the most honest of emotions. One may be able to say that he or she is happy but when you get to check the eyes, a lot of times, it displays the contrary (except may be to some of those with eye defects). The eyes cannot lie.

“Mirror …mirror…on the wall…who is the fairest of them all”. Remember this fairytale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? The mirror with its real and true capacity and nature displayed the true answer to the question of the ugly, deceiver and thief of identity , the wicked Queen.

Amidst that part of us trying to inch and forward the lies about us. Yet the whole truth can come out when we are brave enough to deal with ourselves squarely on – THE MIRROR.


An exercise :

Find yourself a comfortable room where you could do the exercise above. Just give yourself this break with any of your emotional experiences. Do it alone. After the exercise, give yourself a big hug and perhaps you can bombard yourself with all positive things you can say such us "I love you", " I believe in you", " I am proud of you", etc.

God bless everyone...strive always to be your own best friend :-) and be Joyfully hopeful:-)

KICK OFF

grabbed from http://www.sophisticated.com/products/kick-off/kick-off.html

How do you feed a tired, hungry and weary soul? -... by going the extra mile of doing good. There is no big deal doing great stuffs actually for others. I feel that we all know this but doing simple act of kindness every day takes an extra mile of courage. For when a roaming pair of eyes try to size us up from head down...we feel like running away from the situation. As if this roaming eyes carrY the ultimate judgment of our one simple act ...baka pakitang tao lang oh (tsk tsk tsk)... Let me push you...heheh just do it anyway...

I have received comments from friends regarding their weariness. Just allow me to suggest something (some samples) here that may give us a good kick of a start :

1. Decide to smile to anyone
2. Feed a stray cat or dog in the neighborhood (lots of them in front of the house where I live)
3. Give something to a beggar
4. Buy food from any vendor near you
5. Read heartwarming books
6. Roam around with your facebook friends and say something positive to them (i have seen a lot of them at my FB homepage ...i do appreciate them for doing that)
7. Surround the wall in your room with all positive messages (love, kindness, beauty, creativity, etc.. i just posted mine a while ago).

... a lot more you can do. Just feed and feed yourself with these stuffs. You can plant the same seeds wherever you are. Hey again, you don't have to sweat it with big things to make such a difference and be able to lift yourself up. I know you can relate with me in this. You may perhaps recall from your bucket of experiences how a simple act of kindness lifted you up. Go make a rewind:-)

So if you start to feel groggy in your journey ...find in any way you can to extend this wonderful heart of yours to others. You are really intended for such purpose. No ifs and buts.. or any excuses please heheheh...just go do it and feed your soul... Let's bloat it...mind you ...it heals any negative feeling you have including that of alienation...:-)

Ultimately, nothing beats prayer...this is the best so far...:-) Your feeling/s is/are His way of telling you that He misses you...:-) go grab that Hand...in indulge your famished soul ...in Prayer...


A quote :

...If you can just forget yourself for a long period of time...that's when you are totally free - Dr. W. Dyer...

THE EGO

grabbed from http://www.dotcrush.com/what-is-an-ego/

For days now I have not written any blog. I simply muse myself with activities such as devouring a book, meditation, food, Church, play with my pet, visit my sister's house and eat my meal there, surf the net, watched videos on the computer, etc. In simple terms, i tried to detach myself from the regulars and my ordinary days - Just i and myself.

When I started to realize that words have not come out when i started to "scribble" a little through my computer, I decided to stop. My mind was so crapped with so many things and I knew then that I had to pullover.

What was so significant during my break was the small treasure that I found that gave that big spark in my current state. This i found from the book I just read entitled the Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Let me quote some major points.

It says ego is made of six primary ingredients that account for how we experience in ourselves as disconnected :

1. I am what I have. My possessions define me.
2. I am what I do. My achievements define me.
3. I am what others think of me. My reputation defines me
4. I am separate from everyone. My body defines me as alone.
5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life. My life space is disconnected from my desires
6. I am separate from God. My life depends on God's assessment of my worthiness

I feel that from the enumerated ingredients above, I have struggled in a tug-of-war trying so hard not to be ruled by the ego in my life.

The ego works around - I, Me, and Myself state. And so if I would say "i have this and that, i achieved this or that, and the stories revolved around myself. And we try to shun others away by not listening to them. Or not to put them first.

Or we talk as if the world is us and us alone. When we compete and put others aside and we forget that " we are all connected to each other in in a circle, in a hoop that never ends" (Pocahontas, the movie).

When we say that i can't have this because, i am a sinner or that i don't deserve to have a better life or to have God in my life. When someone asks us why the personality we have.

When we say "it's embarrassing, shameful, when we hide the truth of ourselves is an obvious protection and wrapping we have ruled by the ego. There is nothing wrong when people see us to have those stuffs we have or what we have achieved but when they become attached or we become attached to it / them, we lose sight of the real us.

In another book of Dr. Dyer, Manifest Your Destiny, he stated DO NOT COMPLAIN, DO NOT EXPLAIN. He printed this and put this on his wall to remind himself always. (This same line, I posted in one of my shirts). Actually, it is still the work of the ego to keep on complaining and explaining about things and us. A very tiring pursuit of the ego trying to make itself appear clean and powerful in the eyes of others ( big sigh!!!!!).

I have been into a situation when surround by friends i felt like being cross examined. Questions were thrown at me in all directions. I felt trapped and pressured to answer all their questions. When I recalled back home my answers and how I answered them created an inner disturbance and the "knowing" eye was there telling me " you could have said this" or "that was not the truth", etc. To shut her up, I would reason out in my mind many things to defend my statements but yet, i felt it did not work out well. It was like a battle of words inside that I got tired with it.

You know what? I don't want to be disconnected from my SOURCE ...GOD up there ...down here in my heart where the TRUTH was markedly written in bold and bright. If I would have difficulty accessing my Source because of the strength and air of my ego trying to weaken my ties with Him then I must shift gears.

Perhaps we can try this together? If we go up higher our ego, we can attract together our heart's greatest desires. I hope this makes sense to you:-)



Note :

- Here is a simple test in checking and assessing yourself if ego is strongly at work with you ...if anyone gives you negative comment/s and you feel the pang of pain with such comment.. and you defend yourself and your side strongly and as much as you can ...then you can say EGO IS STRONGLY AT WORK...
- What you can do? Allow people TO BE through their comments and DETACH YOURSELF... HOLD YOURSELF AND YOUR IMPULSE ehhehe... Do not be so attached with it :-)

Have a happy life everyone..:-) Let us all journey together ...Amen:-)

JUST ONE PERSON

It only takes one person to learn character and virtues. I would say, if you could find one person in any of your day’s life and living, would create such a huge difference in your life. This person can be anybody you work with, someone you consider your enemy, some stranger you encounter any part of your day, etc. 

...Just anyone. His presence may lead you to situations where you can practice patience, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, sharpened ability to listen or simply lead you to any realization with life. Or perhaps bring you a simple awakening that sometimes you can just simply “waste time” laughing at your experience with this person despite and inspite of. 

I learned that life offers varied experiences and the most potent “teachers” we can have are those that appear so difficult to deal with. Dr. Wayne Dyer, author of the book Manifest Your Destiny, states that these people should be thanked for. One day in the future we will realize that they hold the treasures that sharpen our character.

Our patient endurance as “their students” will be felt by them in silence. I know in their hearts they will feel it though they may not be able to totally define it but they will have that inner knowing regarding their encounter with you.

We may have met many of them every day but I say ... just one person that you can practice with any of the virtues and best characters would create a life changing and greatest hit of an impact with your life that may change and re-chart your course. This can be your great start. You may start …NOW….

I hope you enjoy learning with me:-)

PS : I would appreciate your feedback with how you did with your Day 1 at “school”:-)

"MAGNIFYING GLASS"

One day , in one of my most lost moments trying to grasp and define an oh so overwhelming experience, I asked Mike some of my most popular questions “Why me? Why am in into many challenging situations lately? Can I just take a break?”. His answer was “Remember when you started taking the challenge to write? This is it…so that you have some ‘meat’ for it and so you share what you learned”. Oh really “But can I just take a breaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk waaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

Let’s go crazy and hop backwards hehehhe… When I was in high school I did not like Science laboratories. But I had to because it was part of the curriculum. We identified apparatus and put some specimens on a microscope to check some minute parts of some things. I kind of envy one of my classmates that really excelled in Science, Pinky, now a medical doctor). She seemed to have that interest in Science which I did not have. But I realize, the subject provides that beautiful windows of all living beings.

Though I failed in some moving exams to check some specimens since I usually rattled while I maneuver the microscope, yet, I liked so much the manual magnifying lenses / glass that I can carry with me anywhere I go (hehe with me wearing binoculars este eyeglasses everyday, I could see a great deal of use it can provide).

Going back to Mike’s statement… Is this what this is all about?…why am I seeing a lot of challenges? I seem to be bringing a magnifying glass everyday and every moment that my vision extends far and beyond , reaching even the most insane and unexpected insight that even I have not yet treaded (sometimes I felt overwhelmed by them). Thus, I am feeling that I am taking an unpopular path - not easy one I tell you since while I write, I am in it…call it crazy ha…:-)

ANGELS AND SOLDIERS

I ran through my baptismal certificate and saw the name of a Jesuit priest that did the rite for my entry to Christianity – proudly a Catholic (and crucified everyday hehehehhehe not easy ha…).

Let me trace a little of history. My parents, were wedded by a Jesuit. I was baptized by one of them, too. I studied in a Catholic high school founded by a Jesuit. I continued my tertiary education in a university run by them. While studying Psychology, I invaded another Jesuit, Fr. Pasquale Giordano, SJ and, begged him to accept me in Theology program while I finish my course in college.

I worked, in the same university where I graduated, for 10 years and befriended some of them (Fathers - Lester and Xavier, etc... closest ones),. I also experienced such torrid, sizzling hot, passionate and intimate formation (huuuuuuuuuuh) with and by them through their kind of retreats including 8-day retreat.

And even as I went out of the university to travel abroad, I met some of them, too which I feel I am being haunted by Ignatius este …by Jesus. When I came back here and as I was no longer working with them, I was brought back to a Jesuit priest Fr. Norlan Julia on a one-on- one formation in spiritual direction referred by another Jesuit friend, Fr. Asandas Balchand.

My first spiritual director, forwarded and referred me to another one Fr. Frank Savadera since he went out of the country for further studies. And so I was grilled to “death” (wahahahahaha) in my formation through the 19^th annotation retreat.

Now tell me if these are accidents. For the past years some of them volunteered to celebrate my wedding but to no avail. It was like throwing a dice and whoever gets the highest number gets to celebrate my wedding hahahhaa ... joke lang.

But really, if there was no Ignatius in history, there would have been no Jesuit community spread all over the world for the mission. Well sorry…we don’t know… someone would still be chosen (me? whahahah big NO...adlib: i remember my crazy friends in college that suggested that we would start our own religious congregation ...hmmm polka dot sisters with boots and mini skirts plus the counterpart - order of the black sotana men hahahha a great flash of lightning bolt from the heavens)… God will haunt anyone He needs for His mission. ...

But then… tracing my roots on spirituality, I was given by God a group of men to accompany me in my journey. I was given mighty angels guarding me… I feel a lot of times God's double time effort through them. I do miss a lot of them, lately. Yet, I feel there will be a great reunion with them one day. You know why I am confident with this? I feel like I am one of them… great soldiers of Ignatius …of Jesus… whehehehe:-)