My Going Back to School

http://webpub.allegheny.edu/dept/psych/Careers/GraduateSchool.html

During the day you may visualize me in this manner -  I hold my daughter in my left arm while I hold some notes at my right hand studying for my classes.  Yes, I went back to school – post graduate studies.  I was forced to realizing that it has been 5 years since I stopped and I would have to re enroll the subjects that I took years back if I wanted to pursue and finish my doctorate program in Education.

But, that’s not mainly the reason of going back to school.  My growing  interest to engage in the life of my daughter and to capture her in those moments when she is so wide awake and so receptive to learning moved me to finish what I started.  My daughter inspires me so much such that aside from going back to school, I requested in one of the subjects I enrolled in to report on topic TYPES OF PRESCHOOL CURRICULUM (from the list of topics given to us in the Syllabus) from where I got  a number of them including Homeschooling Curriculum Program.

In one of my classes yesterday on Gender and Development, it was mentioned how full time mothers become insecure of their roles over career women that have established themselves in their fields.  In one of those candid moments I had in class, I raised my hand with the following comment :

“I am now a mom taking care of a 3 – month old baby.  Though at first I resisted staying at home (they  know that I am keeping a part time job only as a consultant / psychologist of a medical laboratory and I rarely report to the office), I feel so much of the joy of having to witness special moments with my daughter growing physically (…I should have added this :  plus that special bond and attachment with her having to embrace her while she sleeps, her first smiles and giggles,  bathe her, change her clothes when they are wet, change her diaper, breast feed and bottle feed her, tell her stories, explain many things with her even during those times when I did some chores and many little things, show her and flip pages of the books and a lot more.)  

My case is different.  Staying with my daughter makes me realize that mothers or working mothers may have missed so much of those beautiful moments that they could have savored with their children.  That’s why full time mothers should not be ashamed of their roles since this is something that they can be proud of.  What would become of their children is a reflection of the kind of parents that they are”... ( splendid ...that was me..hehe Dang in action...bow hehehe).

From what I have experienced,  I could put so much of dignity with the challenging roles of women taking full time mother’s roles at home. Hehe please don’t get me wrong.  We don’t  have to engage in graduate or post graduate studies for us to be able to see better (though it can be one of the avenues for wisdom).  There are lots of wisdom to those mothers who have stayed faithful to their calling of nurturing their own children by choosing to stay at home.  It just happens that I started my higher studies long before I got married and had my daughter and she has become my inspiration to finishing what I started.

I simply …love to improve myself and my craft when she came…and if someday it would lead to creating something bigger that what I am into right now then… that’s just another bonus…Loving our Maria Mikaela is the biggest fulfillment and bonus of my life :-)  (well aside from my beautiful husband).  Thank you dear God.

PS...One day soon..when i have the chance to go back to a full time work...at least I could look back, relate  and say...I had a taste of an experience of a full time mother...really beautiful ... soooo beautiful:-)

Our Daughter's Maria Mikaela's Christening / Baptism - November 4, 2012

It was the most awaited part of our family …to have Maria Mikaela our dear daughter be baptized as Catholic on November 4, 2012.  Baptism would serve as her start and big leap into Christianity despite her innocence.  For us,  it is Mikaela’s birth into our Catholic faith thus, it was something URGENT and BIG. 

With the sense of urgency, we wanted her immediately baptized when she was in the incubator at the hospital since we believed that God’s grace through baptism brings healing to the physical form that is the human body.  And looking at the fragile body of our daughter in that incubator was accompanied with that deep sense and faith that some miracles could happen if we did that.  We wanted so much to bring a priest but then we were held by the fact that only parents were allowed in the nursery.  I also felt some peace within in my  prayers believing that our daughter can “pick up” fast.  And true enough she did.

Mikaela With Fr. Casey:-), Mommy and Daddy

Since it is something worth celebrating not only in the heavens (as I feel that God rejoices to one new and beautiful human being will be offered to him) but also on earth, we wanted something big.  At first we wanted it lavish and hold it at a nearby  hotel but still it may be too much  that it may lead to unreasonable expense.  So we tried to keep our balance such that we would be able to invite more guests  with our  budget and projected expense.  Another thing that I meant with BIG is that it is something that we Catholics believe in.  Something that encompasses our life of faith in God. 

Part  of God’s “bigness” in our life is the inspiration as parents  to share some values of our family to others such as :

Value of Simplicity.  Simplicity in terms of the following: 

1.       The decision at our end to join the general schedule of the parish Baptism ceremony ones a month.  That way we could make our daughter feel a festive celebration with other babies whose parents also desire the same for their own infants.  But the thing was, it was only Mikaela that joined the ceremony making it appear like it was an exclusive baptismal ceremony.  That was God’s greatest surprise that day for us as a family.

2.      Holding the venue of the small banquet at home.  We live in a small house with a single bedroom.  We brought Mikaela from the hospital to this small house that we now call a home.  Our home.  We wanted it so much to make her feel that family celebrations  are held  at home.  And the simple taste of having family at home is much more beautiful than huge and lavish places for celebrations.  This is something very intimate and meaningful for us as a family.  I could so very well correlate Mikaela’s entry to Christianity to her entry into our Christian family through the small house we call as home for our family.

Value of Love.  It is love for us to be able to give the best gift we can give to our daughter…that is to share our Catholic faith to her.  It is love for us to talk to her about God and to pray with her even if she does not understand the content of our prayers.  It is love for us to be able to gather some family members to help us in the preparation of the food.  And, it is love for me to be able to show my cooking prowess (eeheemmm:-))  for the first time cooking as much as 5 to 6 viands for the celebration plus the help of two brother in laws Ronnie and Dennis for their own signature style of cooking Humba and Beef Steak, respectively. 

Really, I was so in love that I sacrificed getting enough sleep nor breakfast in that morning of the baptism since I did not have the time to feed myself instead rushed together with my husband to bring our daughter Mikaela to the Church on time with the help of my sister Gay and her family.  I just simply surrendered to God my own physical strength so that I would not faint in the Church (hahahhaha…great mom).

Value of Generosity.  This value was so obvious.  There was generosity from the preparations to the end of the celebration.  

1.       Family members that helped in the preparation together with Mika’s aunt that took care of her while I was busy with the cleaning and cooking

2.      Generosity of all the sponsors (Uncles Jun and Nono, Dr. Ronnie, Rodel, Nina, Auntie Gay, tita Lui, Lolitz and Vilma)  and some guests that brought their gifts to our daughter Mikaela and

3.      The generosity (ehem heheh) of our family that opened our humble home to our family members and friends.  We wanted so much to share what our faith dictates and even our advocacy of living a Joyfully hopeful life amidst the many challenges we have encountered as a young family of God.

 

Value of Family.  I and my husband value so much family.  With the minimal budget, we decided to invite our most immediate family members only.  Of course I felt sad that my own father and my husband’s sister and brother were not there in the celebration.  

Recalling the moment, we missed to invite some friends, too.  And we chose not to since we thought there can be some special moments that we can spend with them, too in the future.   Some really close ones  are so far from home.  But then we realize how such moment, we also spent in prayer for them that were not there and some friends who were invited but were not able to make it.

God does make things happen.   Mikaela’s baptism was one of those best “Make things  Happen” moments in our life as a family.  WE THANK GOD for that grace and for blessing us with families and friends.

Challenges and Some Milestones

I admit having gone to the United states left me with the experience of taking care of infants aging 6 - 9 months, toddlers and a four year old kid.  The case with my daughter Mikaela is different.  I did not only take care of an infant.  I  was into the most challenging situation of taking care of a premature baby.    Days  before she was released from the hospital, I was so anxious at taking care of her such that I might not be able to give her due care that she deserved.

I was not alone though  in taking care of her.  I and my husband did take turns with feeding most especially during night time.   All the other tasks such as changing her diapers and bathing her were mostly mine. 

Maria Mikaela is now 3 - month old weighing more than 9 pounds (much bigger than her weight that was 3.6 pounds).  More than two months  have passed also since we took her out from the hospital after her 25 - day stay in the nursery mostly spent inside the incubator.  

At this time seeing her so alive and responsive to her environment made me look back and say that "it was more worth the price of every effort that we had put forth" and I thank God for such wonderful blessing.

How has she been?  Well, I am going to piece by piece bring in some beautiful things that I observed with my daughter since she joined us in our home.

First month with us (second month since she was born)...I could describe her with the following : 

1.  sleeps most of the time but with short breaks in between

2.  had to wake her up most of the time during feeding since she always doze back to sleep

3.  had blank look

4,  remarkably increased in weight from 3.8 - 6.3 pounds

5.  new born clothes were so loose at first

6.  Bowel movement was stable

7. Smiles a lot during sleep

8.   No signs of any abnormality with other physical features

9.  random activities such as clapping of hand, punch, and opening and twisting of mouth are evident

The second month with us...(third month since she was born)...

1.  longer waking moments

2.  Smiles and giggles a lot

3.  Can see you and can do eye to eye contact

4.  follows your movements

5.  Likes to listen with any music played ( a lot of times she listens and doze off to sleep)

6.  Listens to stories

7.  Can really focus with figures and objects on any book.
8.  More interactive

9.  more intense demand for milk

10.  longer hours of sleep and longer breaks (meaning longer waking moment)

11.  mumbles and responds to talks and discussions as if she was also trying to discuss and stress something (that's it...more interactive:-) )

12.  Likes being breastfed more than drinking formula milk (and i guess easier to put to sleep when she is being breastfed).

Having experienced all of the above and really saw them first-hand made me realize how important it is for parents to be able to really witness their children's growth.  

One time when Mikaela was still in the hospital, I was so desperate with finding a nanny that would take care of her.  Days passed and I seemed to have missed not having someone to do  that for my daughter.  Day in and out I did what I had to do to respond to my baby's needs and I realized, there was never a boring moment with my daughter...only a tired  body with a very able and willing spirit.

Really I and my husband prayed so hard to having someone to help us in the house.  But having the beauty of the experience of taking care of one beautiful girl made me re-route my prayer a bit such that, I prayed for a housekeeper now than having a nanny.  You see I searched for answers at why we haven't had someone who would serve our baby in that purpose until I heard some "horror" stories with how some nannies took care of some kids in the neighborhood :

1.  3 children being locked in the restroom by the nanny

2.  a baby that was hospitalized due to UTI since the nanny had his diaper on for the whole day without changing it

3.  minute toys being played by an infant while nannies engaged in a long texting rendezvous  with her boyfriend

4.  a nanny that used her feet to clean the anus of a little boy and

5.  An 8 year old boy died due to injuries with his head banged a lot of times when he was a baby (this one is not from our neighborhood).

You see when your are a mom and you get to hear all these...you would not think hundreds of times or hesitate having someone to take care of her.  I had my own foretaste of that when the supposed nanny of my daughter had her one week training with us slipped in one of our conversations at breakfast that she tried to breastfed one of the babies she took care to put her to quiet and sleep.  She added with laughter "that baby was fooled by what I did".  I and my husband were so shocked with that which made us finally decide to let her go... Please don't get me wrong she slipped with so many things that led us to strongly ground ourselves with the decision to just let her go.  It was as strong as "LET HER GO EVEN IF WE DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO HELP US"...:-(

A lot more to go for us neophyte parents and the challenges continue...and...we are so up to it...THANK YOU GOD FOR STRENGTHENING US...AMEN:-)