Becoming The RIGHT WOMAN

Hello again...I guess my friend Jake led me to produce again another piece of blog. Since I was writing in my previous blog my suggestions for men's preparation to becoming Mr. Right that the ladies may be "running after" someday. I guess i should deal with my own gender.

Let me start with myself. When I was in grade school, my sisters Gina and Grace were my greatest influence in my formation. They both studied in a Catholic high school and they were both so involved with Marian club organization in school. This club strongly exemplifies praying and apostolate combined. As I was able to join them in their formation (while i was in grade school), I told myself, that I would be like them too, one day.

As I reached high school, I thought i could prepare myself for the convent life and be a nun / sister (hahahhaha i wanted so much to become one...that time). But even if i thought of that, i had countless crushes. I cry over crushes that did not notice me (hahahha with my insecurities, i know now that perhaps they saw more of that than my shining smile and beauty hahahahha na naman).

But hey, i was not the regular adolescent jamming with friends going night out in bars. I thought i was so laid back considering i had my group of friends who where also like me in college. I tell you...we were not boring idiots so naive about what were happening in the world. We were crazy talking individuals who liked discussing about many things going on around us, ourselves and others, too (kungting chikka daw).

When I was in college, I had friends who stayed in the library with me, joined charismatic group at the cathedral with me, ate out with me, drank liquor with me (only after our graduation day hahahahah so drunk with my sister gay ...vomited at the toilet bowl and slept beside and basin filled with our " intestinal venom" hahahahhaha crazy ha). I experienced smoking a little (was curious how it tasted). I got drunk also when i stayed and cried with a friend whose brother died in a very serious circumstance (this one i cannot reveal you how he died).

And so going back...How did I really prepare myself to be worthy for a guy someday? Well I can still recall way back in college when and even if I was a little wayward with my ways, I prayed everyday for a man if in case i was for married life. But in any way God has another plan for me such as to join the convent or be single for the rest of my life, I was also so open to any of it.

I did not really expect such dedication to praying for a man or for a vocation would lead me to Mike. I admit i had crushes but my husband had different impact on me. I was so afraid to get near him despite my feelings. I did not also expect him to be my boyfriend. The feeling was more than enough for me to realize that I liked if not...really loved him (and still love him hehehe with a big smile).

So what would i tell the ladies? I would like to go straight this time (based from experience and that of others) :

1. Pray

You may want to argue with me but a lot of us have experienced praying and we reaped good harvest from it. This time i would tell you to pray for man that would come in your life and in like manner also, you would be able to identify him when he comes (i know this because i experienced it myself heheheh).

2. Search for your man in the right place.

You see I belong to a small Catholic Christian community (Sowers Field Community). A lot of those that got married married in my small community they met them there. Though I did not meet my husband there, the eyes of my heart was sharpened to look for qualities in a man. If you want God-fearing men, go to places where you would be able to encounter men worshiping God (so sorry guys but i have to go straight again related to this...i want you to know your God too). I heard a lot of those who expressed their hearts with me and who got broken... met men in places where God was not acknowledged. Of course i respect their choices but i am just dropping a strong bomb of a hint here. Mike started his courtship with me by joining me at daily masses. He saw me praying the rosary now he is leading it himself for both of us.

3. Do something wonderful while you wait.

I have seen ladies who are so desperate with the search that they forgot to take care of themselves. Grow yourself. Do something wonderful while you wait. I did a lot of good things. I served my Christian community by giving talks and workshops. I did higher studies, too. I plunged into writing. I traveled. I worked so hard at doing my crafts. I found my passions. I discovered a lot of hobbies to enjoy. Of course, I joined worships every Sunday at masses (though at this time i rarely join my Christian community).

4. Always maintain a positive attitude.

We are exposed to innumerable "negatives"everyday. But it is always a choice to stay on course and never be carried by anxiety. Stay faithful to your desire to meet your man. I learned from Dr. Dyer that if you have positive mindset you attract the same....and i believe there would be a very positive man that would meet you half way ...not really a perfect man...but who can match up with you. Believe me ...God is a perfect matchmaker...Don't ever doubt that.

5. Hopping from one guy to another

The above won't help. It is not a trial and error thing. Again, going from one guy to another won't help. I am so sorry to tell you this but this is based from my experience and from those beautiful books i read about creating not really perfect relationships but ...Oh my..so beautiful ones. You see, part of the package is to really wait. While you wait you sharpen your ability to discern before making a decision to say yes to a guy. It is just so sad that decision as made in haste (through txting perhaps heheh i know a lot of them) and based on the highs of emotions. It was St. Augustine that said something like... not making a decision when you are at the height of emotion (or its opposite low). Love is not seen automatically in those heights though it can be a fertile ground where love can grow. Hehe i think i would be very unfair to you if i would just stop from here. If you have painfully gone through series of relationships, you can stop now ( hahaha i would rather say it straight)...if you want to have that kind of relationship that's worth the journey and waiting you had.

6. Physical intimacies

The above is never a guarantee of expressing love. You will be hurting each other or yourself even more. If you have experienced it, you can at least decide to stop with the decision to start being chaste again. I would suggest you read the book "I kissed Dating Goodbye" (by Joshua Harris). Oh so beautiful book. It is a good book for those that would want to start all over again with their dating life.

You might think that I now have the perfect man. Mike is not perfect but God brought me to the right man...my right match... I am not perfect too but i guess God is just an artist that beautifully crafted our hearts on a stone giving us that grace to be the right match for each other despite imperfections.

I would lastly suggest...don't do it your way...do it God's way...though our friends or anyone may serve as the instrument that would lead us to the right man...IT IS ONLY GOD THAT DOES THE PERFECT MATCHMAKING...:-) ... just strive to be the RIGHT WOMAN ...:-) ...don't watch for your man to come and just do do nothing...because HE WILL REALLY COME:-)

PS. Thanks to my friend Jake...he is such a facilitator hehehhe mwah:-)