http://healing.about.com/b/2010/07/14/discernment.htm
I have been consulted by some friends with many things (great privilege...i dont know what they see in me....lie...i know what they see hahahhahhaha). The more when they make major decisions. Major decisions include taking a new route such as getting married, accepting job offer, breaking up with a boyfriend, saying yes to a new guy, buying that house, contents of speech to deliver, etc.
Why did they come for assistance? I see one common thing. They are confused with varied options displayed before them. The more when options are all good, pleasing, exciting, beneficial... anything that brings in good "tidings" to the self or loved ones.
"Discernment" is my word for this blog. From an online dictionary (thinkexist.com) it means "The power or faculty of the mind by which it distinguishes one thing from another; power of viewing differences in objects, and their relations and tendencies; penetrative and discriminate mental vision; acuteness; sagacity; insight; as, the errors of youth often proceed from the want of discernment.
Huh, I get to "nose bleed" with the definition above. But again it is a mental faculty that does the discernment. Every thinking and its corresponding emotional response happen in the mind. What the heart feels is actually the mind's dictate from rational to emotional impact (EQ). This is a special faculty that sends the "twinkling" signal to the heart.
Here's an illustration. My friend asked for my assistance yesterday regarding which to pick between two jobs. Actually, he is still "in" with his 10-year job. Another opportunity came with a higher pay and benefits. When his employer learned about his intention to leave the company, they did all they can to convince him to stay. Well and good, they did it well and he decided to turn down the new offer. He then informed his boss about his decision to stay in the company.
The new company representative gave him a call when they learned about his decision and arranged a meeting with him to still convince him to take the offer. This made him more confused. That time I felt the sense of urgency for him.
Anyone in a middle of an urgent situation is restless. The person needs an answer and ultimately come up with the decision. With my friend, he put me in that hot spot of making me state my opinion.
Since opinion was asked, I did not give it outright. I asked him what he really wanted with his situation. In the first place he made his decision already to stay with the company. If he would alter that, that would be a question of "word of honor". That was my first challenge while I checked with his facial reaction and eyes while I said that. He was stunned with my answer.
Actually of course, he could still continue with meeting the new employer but again holding on to his decision which I thought may have not really been strongly founded since he kept on swinging given the motive why he still wanted to meet the prospective new employer (of course i did not want to curtail my friend from getting more information...but he could have arranged that meeting prior to making his decision for him to have complete details).
Ultimately, I told him, that what he was using was all analysis and that in discernment, even with complete information and he is still confused. That makes discernment not completed. He needed to listen to his heart (emotional mind - EQ). I led him into deciding where he would be best be comfortable, happy or where he could find himself extend the most of service. Or perhaps create that most difference and impact. And outright he mentioned, his old job. This time I already asked him to scrap and set aside all the benefits of both sides and to just look into this area alone.
I also mentioned that in life we will not be getting perfect answers in the process of searching. We will be tested as to the readiness of our hearts in taking all the challenges. Fear should not be a hindrance for deciding. When everything is taken and considered as learning and growing, fear is totally eliminated. I ended it with "i tell you...after you decide, there is still no assurance of a perfect answer, but i can assure you that you will grow as a person"... hahahah I took it from my own experience. Without regret realizing that my world became bigger, wider, and I grew so much in all aspects (except weight).
I guess my friend just opted to follow his heart. Which I felt to be such a strong foundation of his decision. And so that's it. The discernment was used not using plainly the rational mind, as defined in emotional intelligence. Rather, tapping the emotional mind in getting that "heart level" decision not really totally understood by the rational mind.
That's why one book i read just simply advised the readers to simply stop the thinking for a while and to address the emotional impact of the experience. Sometimes we just have to stop thinking to allow the process and weight of emotion to sink in and send its message. The heart / emotional mind is simply where the weight of soulful decision lies. Decisions that may be questionable or certain actions or practices in question but may truly led us to our true calling.
Discernment rests in our highest mental faculty that sends message to the human heart. What should I say? Ultimately, we follow our hearts:-)
Why did they come for assistance? I see one common thing. They are confused with varied options displayed before them. The more when options are all good, pleasing, exciting, beneficial... anything that brings in good "tidings" to the self or loved ones.
"Discernment" is my word for this blog. From an online dictionary (thinkexist.com) it means "The power or faculty of the mind by which it distinguishes one thing from another; power of viewing differences in objects, and their relations and tendencies; penetrative and discriminate mental vision; acuteness; sagacity; insight; as, the errors of youth often proceed from the want of discernment.
Huh, I get to "nose bleed" with the definition above. But again it is a mental faculty that does the discernment. Every thinking and its corresponding emotional response happen in the mind. What the heart feels is actually the mind's dictate from rational to emotional impact (EQ). This is a special faculty that sends the "twinkling" signal to the heart.
Here's an illustration. My friend asked for my assistance yesterday regarding which to pick between two jobs. Actually, he is still "in" with his 10-year job. Another opportunity came with a higher pay and benefits. When his employer learned about his intention to leave the company, they did all they can to convince him to stay. Well and good, they did it well and he decided to turn down the new offer. He then informed his boss about his decision to stay in the company.
The new company representative gave him a call when they learned about his decision and arranged a meeting with him to still convince him to take the offer. This made him more confused. That time I felt the sense of urgency for him.
Anyone in a middle of an urgent situation is restless. The person needs an answer and ultimately come up with the decision. With my friend, he put me in that hot spot of making me state my opinion.
Since opinion was asked, I did not give it outright. I asked him what he really wanted with his situation. In the first place he made his decision already to stay with the company. If he would alter that, that would be a question of "word of honor". That was my first challenge while I checked with his facial reaction and eyes while I said that. He was stunned with my answer.
Actually of course, he could still continue with meeting the new employer but again holding on to his decision which I thought may have not really been strongly founded since he kept on swinging given the motive why he still wanted to meet the prospective new employer (of course i did not want to curtail my friend from getting more information...but he could have arranged that meeting prior to making his decision for him to have complete details).
Ultimately, I told him, that what he was using was all analysis and that in discernment, even with complete information and he is still confused. That makes discernment not completed. He needed to listen to his heart (emotional mind - EQ). I led him into deciding where he would be best be comfortable, happy or where he could find himself extend the most of service. Or perhaps create that most difference and impact. And outright he mentioned, his old job. This time I already asked him to scrap and set aside all the benefits of both sides and to just look into this area alone.
I also mentioned that in life we will not be getting perfect answers in the process of searching. We will be tested as to the readiness of our hearts in taking all the challenges. Fear should not be a hindrance for deciding. When everything is taken and considered as learning and growing, fear is totally eliminated. I ended it with "i tell you...after you decide, there is still no assurance of a perfect answer, but i can assure you that you will grow as a person"... hahahah I took it from my own experience. Without regret realizing that my world became bigger, wider, and I grew so much in all aspects (except weight).
I guess my friend just opted to follow his heart. Which I felt to be such a strong foundation of his decision. And so that's it. The discernment was used not using plainly the rational mind, as defined in emotional intelligence. Rather, tapping the emotional mind in getting that "heart level" decision not really totally understood by the rational mind.
That's why one book i read just simply advised the readers to simply stop the thinking for a while and to address the emotional impact of the experience. Sometimes we just have to stop thinking to allow the process and weight of emotion to sink in and send its message. The heart / emotional mind is simply where the weight of soulful decision lies. Decisions that may be questionable or certain actions or practices in question but may truly led us to our true calling.
Discernment rests in our highest mental faculty that sends message to the human heart. What should I say? Ultimately, we follow our hearts:-)
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