Be the RIGHT MAN

My friend Jake commented in one of my blogs “I want to tell you how lucky you are to be blessed with such calling. I know of some friends who cried in front of me, longing to get to what you are experiencing right now” (actually what he meant was my getting into the married life state). Added to this comment, I have lots of single friends, too. They want to get married, nevertheless, they are still in the process of searching. They can’t just plunge into the next phase …married life.

When I was single, I shared the same sentiment. I understood them so well. A lot of them also are not just searching for the sake of having someone to marry. They want to have the right man to be with for the rest of their lives.

Listening from their stories, I knew what they meant. They want to entrust themselves with someone that they can truly be with. The challenge of the search continues. I would want to help them. …so badly. I love my friends and I want to see them to be happily married with a beautiful man. In my heart I would cry not seeing them in peace with the right man.

To all the gentlemen who may be thinking to get married. Here is a challenge to make an extra effort to be that right man and worthy of the great plunge for the right woman in your life (don’t worry I will write a separate article here for the ladies' preparation hehehhe…fair enough for both ha).

Here goes…

I watched a film entitled THE NATIVITY. It was then that I got to appreciate the character of Joseph. In the Bible, nothing much was said about him except in the role that he assumed prior to the birth and of course during the birth of Jesus. But nothing much was said thereafter.

At this point, I will highlight his beautiful characteristics. He was portrayed in the film as a carpenter, a very simple man with a piercing confident look in his eyes in a scene where his eyes locked on Mary's. He was a strong willed man. He knew what he wanted. He was sure of himself and his heart. I knew at the sight of his character that he was sure of his attraction (?) if not,... love for Mary.

Since, he knew himself, he knew also when to make his move of asking her hand through Joachim, the father of Mary. He did not give up at the sight of resistance or indifference from Mary. He was confident with presenting himself to her father telling him that he can afford to raise a family and that he can take care of his daughter. He also waited for Mary for months when she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth.

He was no super human. He was in pain when he learned that she was pregnant. He was honest with himself to withdraw his proposal. But his faithfulness and obedience to God overpowered when angel Gabriel announced about the truth of Mary’s pregnancy.

From what I observed in the film, he was known in the village to be responsible and honorable man. But the decision to marry Mary made a bad impression on him with people thinking that he caused her pregnancy.

He was also a man of simple humor and Mary appreciated this. An example was his comment when they passed by villagers on their way to Bethlehem “they will be missing us for days without us being their topic to talk about”.

Added to that, he was very sacrificing when in the journey, they almost ran out of food. What was left was a small amount of unleavened bread that he cut into half. He gave Mary one piece, ate a little a very small portion of his share, hid it and gave it to the donkey. This one even to this writing moved me to tears.

Mary never missed a thing of the goodness of Joseph. This beauty of one man was concluded by Mary's statement during Joseph’s sleep and while she was wiping his dirty and calloused feet, stated “my child is blessed to have a responsible man for a father" .

In my heart , I know I would do everything in my capacity and by God’s grace to have a man so responsible, patient, confident and more than anything God – fearing.

I do not know Joseph’s childhood years. They did not know psychology at that time. There were no books on parenting skills. How he was raised and where he got such wonderful values. But as a woman, I know my heart, whom and what values to capture in a man. I make a choice according to values and principles in a man not by the looks. Though honestly it is my weakness hahahah. Combining both would be splendid. But still values and principles serve long term purpose even without the looks. They are the most enduring part in a man and in any relationship.

Hello my dear gentlemen. You may be conscious with how you look but be more conscious with building up your character. This will also attract the same from the ladies. If they are not in the same level of values as yours, they will be “tempted” to be like you. You will be more attractive to them.

Oh, let’s go back to Joseph. He was not perfect. He was afraid with his decision. He even asked for a sign from God if he made it right. The greatest sign he had was the birth of Jesus. Everything was crystal clear. It turned out to be the most wonderful decision he ever made – to be the husband and “surrogate” father of the Son of ‘God. Big time decision ha.

Well who would ever imagine such faithfulness of one simple man, a carpenter at that, with humility despite fear that he will be participating in the divine plan for the world. In like manner, who would ever think that your obedience to prepare yourself to be that “RIGHT MAN” would make you participate also in God’s plan to strengthen family values and make you models to other men that may have different concepts to courtship and preparation for married life.

It is not the looks. It is your heart. Just strive so hard to be the RIGHT MAN.

PS. Being masculine doesn’t mean trial and error or trying different ladies to relate with. It means holding and reserving yourself for the right woman, patiently waiting, with prayer and reverence to God…:-). I would like to suggest that you would get to know Joseph even more:-)