MAMA

Today (August 3, 2011) would have been my mother's 66th birthday (if she was alive). I would like to honor her through this blog and thank God for the day that He appointed her to be born in this world. Anyone may say that he or she has the best mother in the world. I would say the same (walang papalag hahahhaha).

I would like to trace a little of history about her. She was the only child of a Filipina (my lola of course) from the Visayas (Bohol) and a British - American soldier during World War 2. So mama's blood was half foreign ha. (hehehehhe).

Physically she was not tall, blond, white skin, brown eyes, freckles on her face, very pointed nose, beautiful legs and so white flawless armpit (whahhahhaha I love sleeping beside her with armpit displayed wide open...she had the cleanest odor and so fresh)....

She married my father at 19 years old - half way in college. Really, she and papa were not able to wait to finish and hopped with the responsibility of parenting 6 children.

Raising 6 of us was such a big deal to both of them most especially mama. She was papa's great partner in responding with the financial needs of the family. Papa's income was not enough and so they both had to find other means through farming and poultry business. She managed the latter. She was also good at managing finances. She and papa provided us well. Nobody had to stop studying even when 4 of my older siblings went altogether to college.

I saw mama's strength in managing the family. I saw how her sustained and enduring silence despite trying moments of the family. Even if sometimes she "exploded" to release her suppressed anger to us (so sorry ma), she was generally patient with all of us.

I was so attached with her. After my Friday classes in the city, i would really force myself to go home even night time just to be with her. I loved her cooking too - the soup, vegetables, seafoods and meat recipes… plus hugs and the laying of my head on her lap while watching TV until i lost consciousness (hahahah tulog ako beauty).

I also loved our festive Sunday lunches together (We had our rituals before going back to the city). Mama would usually go to the market with any of us children(except gay the youngest) to buy varieties of vegetables, meat, etc. After the market invasion, she lavishly prepared food to eat before everyone went back to the city. After that, we had heavy goodbyes because everyone had the same feeling - missing mama during the week (hahahha don't get me wrong... me missed papa too).

You see ...she simply had the "magic" of touch, shades and styles of caring for everyone in the family including my father (of course heheh).

I never expected that she would go so soon (at the age of 48 years old)... One Saturday afternoon, i caught her graying hair right above her forehead with a comment "tigulang na jud ka ma noh?" (you are getting older ma). I was simply teasing her. I did not expect it to be our last moment together.

I went back to the city on Sunday. Monday after that, she died in an accident. I want to cut this recall shorter or I might end up crying all the way. I don't want to dwell much over our loss. I would like to stress on it being a grace that i was able to stand up with life braver and stronger despite her absence since i was so dependent with her when she was alive (actually the experience brought me closer to God after buckets of tears, wild strife of myself, etc...hahaha).

More than anything, I would like to remember her as someone that may have gone ahead but has remained present through her prayers. At this time, I consider her as my / our family’s intercessor in heaven. It feels so good to have one member of my family praying for all of us. Though it was such a painful experience, I thank God for allowing mama to share her life with us...for sharing to us such a wonderful woman worth emulating in values (oh i miss her dearly)

Before exhausting herself and had her last breath, she uttered " Please take good care of my children". By those words, I knew that she did not want to die. I knew in my heart that she begged God not to leave us yet. But I was certain that she felt her last that moment.

Surely that time, mama did not know that she can continue to take care of us even if she was not physically with us. In fact, she did a marvelous job being an "absentee parent" (just look at me and my other siblings hahahhaa ang yabangggg!!!) I can visualize her with her borrowed "binoculars" from God:-) trying to hover from the heavens for us her children...

I love her so much… more than missing her…yet I know that she is in the best place. Again I love her. But my love can’t reverse nor take her out from her current “comfort” with God. I may not have totally understood His wisdom but I have faith that He has His much better plans for all of us her children...and God's dear children...

Amen.