FROM A DESIRE TO... A PREGNANCY

Let me do some crooked lines in my writing (which I usually do hehe ) by starting this blog with a sharing on a family event that I and my husband joined last December 2011.   The christening / baptism of Aethan Shaun, son of Mae (my husband's sister)  and her husband Allen.  It was such a rush travel for both of us.  We would have gone to their place a day earlier but due to unanticipated vehicle condition we had to postpone and contain with a very early morning travel the following day. 

I was so glad that my husband was on the rush the following day.  It was usually I that got to pressure him to hurry (hehehe).  We had to brace the vehicle fast the early morning finding ourselves facing still challenges on our way with so many stopovers due to innumerable road constructions in between.  The pressure was to reach our destination at 9 am and be at the Church at that same time.

Good thing we arrived earlier than expected.  And so we could have our 2^nd breakfast (we had our first at 5 am) before going to the Church.  When we  arrived at their house, my eyes rested on the baby boy – Aethan (to be baptized that morning) alone in his crib already dressed in his very cute ‘barong”(I did not know that there is such a design for babies….my first time to see it).  And I was so all ohhhs and ahhs and so cutie expression with some giggling.  Obviously I have forgotten myself for awhile.  Then I became conscious with how I felt that moment.  I envied Mae and Allen for having their 2^nd  child – baby boy Aethan. 

I thought “when can I have mine?”.  I was almost in tears for the thought and the joy of having one.  And when I saw our 2 little pretty nieces Andrea and Patricia ( they are both cousins Andrea is Mae’s daughter and Patricia is Luisa’s…both sisters of my husband and my very close friends since collegeJ ), I was again mesmerized seeing them in their lovely dresses.  What a beautiful sight my eyes caught when I saw both of them running towards me with their hugs and kisses. 

Not again…”when can I have mine?”  was the running words in my mind.  Lovely, lovely, lovely…so beautiful sight of wonderful families.

When we arrived at the Church, it was almost filled up.  The ceremony almost started, so we rushed to find our seat.  I volunteered to be the photographer.  I liked the role.  I took photos from our line up to everyone and everywhere in the Church.  I felt the joy of parenthood.  I felt the excitement when two priests started putting oil on the babies foreheads.  More so when each family aligned so that the priest can pour the holy water also at the babies. 

As the photographer, I stationed myself at the back and right side of the priest.  My neophyte and trying so hard self just wanted to put a little drama in my capture.  While waiting for that beautiful moment of to take photo of  Aethan, I felt awed at the sight of babies in front of me with all those hair band for little girls, all sorts of clothes for the baby boys, big loud mouth cry, etc.

And then again I thought  “When can I and my husband have ours”  (hahahha this time my thought included my dear husband who from where I was standing I saw him seriously aligning and waiting with baby Aethan.  Well he is one of the ninongs (godfather).  I was all smile looking at all the babies while I stole sight with my husband (hahahhaha).  Well you could now imagine how desperate I was already.

We had photo shoots after that.  I had my “solo” shot with Aethan and stole him for my sort of “family” illusion photo shoot with Mike.  That time I felt the firmness of my thoughts “we could have ours soon”.  I simply affirmed it in my mind and heart. 

From the Church we went straight to the restaurant.  It was festive.  We were with relatives and we had so much fun.  Of course part of the question was “are you on your way or are you pregnant”.  I did not feel sad about the question though.  I simply answered “not yet” and positively added “soon” with my one big smile.  I felt the excitement while I stated that. 

With all my busy thoughts from my husband’s house to the Church with my growing desire to have a baby.  My excitement grew more when Mike just uttered while we were both looking at the kids playing, “our  kid would be a good addition to those”. 

I had the chance to hold Aethan in my arms.  I held him longer than I thought prior to going out from the restaurant to the house.  I was smelling him, feeling him in my skinny arms and imagining if a baby could survive staying longer with the way I held him.  And I was so glad he did.  He was so asleep.  And again, I thought “I could be a mom”.  I simply announced joyfully within me that I could me a mom and take care  of a baby. 

At night of the same day, the fun continued with all those food and exchanging gifts and food again and again.  Though I was so tired of the earlier travel ( was so asleep in the afternoon until almost night), I had so much fun.  The girls would just get inside our room from time to time and I could not take away my eyes from them.  How beautifully dressed they were and how much fun and joy they brought to their families (was so filled with appreciation in my mind).

The visit just ended the following day.  We had to be back home ourselves.  And I thought I could just relax and let go of my desire with the strength of my faith that it would come.

And then biggest surprise of all came when I realized that I was already delayed from my monthly period.  And I was checking on the number of days over and over again.  I thought I could be pregnant.  I was noticing some physical change and forms in my body despite my regular long distance jogging and walking combined last week of December with Mike. 

While I felt the excitement, I was consulting my sisters (Gina and Gay) about it.  They advised me not to take pregnancy test immediately.  They wanted me to do it 2 weeks past my expected menstruation for the month of January to be certain of it. 

A friend, Doctor – Ronnie Bongocan (my sister’s brother in law) advised me to take my test this weekend (January 22).  Exactly the same date as advised by my two sisters.   But then out of our great excitement and my stubbornness, I took the test last Monday (January 16)  placing the kit in front of my husband on the table.  It was such a wonderful sight of a positive test.  Voila…I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!! 

From there, I went straight to my computer to do some module writing which I could hardly focus on since I felt conscious already of “someone”…a beautiful tiny creature in my tummy taking its form right where I was.  I just decided to stop writing and pulled some CDs including a CD on nursery rhymes and thought of putting them inside a USB storage device and listen to it from time to time.  Well my husband just stopped me from my excitement and told me to relax.  I was a little stubborn and still did it  ( hahahhaha crazy ha).

Well you could imagine me now starting to do that with my earphone –one for me and one on my tummy -…hahahha well there is more to this in the coming days….

I guess…I could park for now preparing for more future details …with how I am dealing with myself and the doctor’s appointment and the regimen of vitamins, food, and …of course …exercise… (my baby held on even when I had the most of those jogging and walking)… plus the love and support  from my husband.

Well…you may be asking if I have morning sickness… I don’t have any… :-) bye for now:-)  hehehehehe.

...THANK YOU DEAR GOD...YOU GAVE ME SUCH WONDERFUL SURPRISE AS I AND MY HUSBAND BEGIN OUR YEAR 2012:-) THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIFT OF ALL:-)

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Some Family photos :

With Patricia and Andrea

Aethan so asleep

Allen, Mae, Andrea and Aethan

Giving my gift to my kringle Leewwwweeeeeh..grrrrrrrr:-)

Blessing before dinner

My gift to Luisa ..my kringle

Guirey Family

Hubby with sister Mae exchanging gifts:-)

the 3 Kings - Allen, Nono and Hubby  - with the Baby ..

Semillano family - Nono, Luisa and Patricia with Aethan ......Patricia and Andrea with Lolo Pops