My Valentine

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While my husband was preparing last night's dinner, I was drinking my vitamins in front of him (hhmmmm sort of feeding the baby in mommy's womb heheheh).  While he was busy putting ingredients in a pot, I was singing him some old love songs which he later joined.  I felt the excitement of the earlier days we had in the relationship.  When our relationship was young, grand and so brand new, I had lots of those dates when i felt anxious, excited... mixed emotions.  I was so excited everyday.  Everyday was like " the sun had shone so bright". 

Years passed, reality struck and bit hard.  The excitement dwindled but loving was tested  and furnished by strong fire.  I lost the feeling of excitement many times. I caught myself observing him in everything and I grew to like him and dislike some of his traits.

Then and again, years passed, as our friendship grew deeper, the feeling that i thought was and the definition that i label as love changed into the challenge of moving forward despite pain and reality.  Wow this time, i remember my husband once sang this line from a song "I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else" (this same song... I remember my friend Ruthsel wrote at FB wall for her husband... hahahah) and made me realize ...yes there can be bad times and that starting with someone else other than him is quite complicated.  I would rather make my relationship work than running away, meet someone else, have a great time but then again one day, I would still face the same tough times.  No no way hehehhe....I won't do that.

Acceptance of realities in relationship, saying sorry, growing together, holding hands despite confusion or perhaps even with the absence of excitement.  Feelings lost but with  peace present...oh how can I trade what I have ...loving someone else when all I had and have is being so at peace with a man that journeyed with me with all sincerity, transparency, honesty and commitment through the years.

When everything is sad, pale and gray... when feelings are gone...  when the sun is out and rain pours and pours really hard... when the clouds cover up the sun...Oh,  I really don't have to worry.  My love continues and in confidence my heart is fully assured that - a man so strong and sturdy in faith and love is with me all the way.  

And so the same song that i sang last night "  I'd rather have bad times with you...than good times with someone else", was one of those songs that i sang in front of him.  I remember the past. I remember the odds and challenges.  And that very moment last night was my joyous and simple recall of the celebration of love in our simple journey together.  

"And even if the sun refuse to shine.  Even if romance run out of rhyme.  I will give you my heart until the end of time.  You are all i need my love ...My Valentine".... 

Happy Valentines Day Hon! I LOVE YOU!:-)