Insecurities Will Bring Us To Naught

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Let me look at myself to start this writing.  Security for me was having money that I needed not worry about food, clothes to wear, shelter,  be with someone that’s firmly grounded and would not just drop me off somewhere when situations get tough.  Security for me also was having  my family around.  I just wanted them near me.  In fact leaving for or staying in another country made me sick and so insecure at not being with them. 

Furthermore, security for me was like being "sealed in all four walls" that I would feel safer from  any other harassment outside of it  (where I could care less since I felt so protected with where I was).  But really,  the desire for security from experience is a product of great fear to be rejected, to lose something  like job or any possession or lose someone like when my mother died in an accident. 

From and among those that I feared is to lose someone I love most especially members of my family which was triggered by my mother’s death.   But then it is a reality that I or all of us cannot escape.  Life presents the natural process of birth and dying and even dying to self from any other attachment. 

Why am I saying this?  I just heard two individuals giving comments like “this person is insecure that’s why she’s doing this”.  Thus, I would deal with man’s insecurities in this article. 

What does insecurities look like?  For a boyfriend, insecurity can mean fear of losing his girlfriend for another guy.  For a mother can be  fear of losing any member of her family.  For a worker or employee can be fear of losing his job putting it as an example as the downside of insecurities. 

Thus, an insecure person may do  “crazy” things to protect himself from any of the dangers of losses by putting up his armory of defenses as if in battle.  In the battle field, he focuses his eyes to any movements of threats of the enemy and brings himself to “action” by calling “fire” to signal the attack.  This can happen in real life taking as an example the workplace setting.

An insecure employee is closely guarded.  Anyone that would bring in threat to his  position would be his “enemy”.  And so he devises strategies for the attack either upfront or underground :

1.     Upfront “Attack”

This may include embarrassing the person during meetings; giving feedback through the “attack” of harsh words  to the victim in front of everyone in the office or during the occasion when everyone can hear them;  “washing hands” when confronted with failed projects and points  the responsibility of failure to the victim other than the self all for the purpose of putting up a clean image to everyone and the top management 

2.  Underground “ Attack” 

This may include giving false reports and accusations to top management without the person’s knowledge; devising strategies of putting the image of the person in bad light in front of the boss; sabotaging reports; claiming accomplishments and projects owned by the victim;  Insisting that he knows more than the other person bringing in more pressure of proving the self and worth to others

Insecure individuals are rigid per behavioral observations.  They have the look in their eyes of suspicion and as if sizing you up when you are able to present something beyond what they imagine you could  do.  They seem to be in hurry of putting you off your speaking grounds afraid that you may say something right and of sense and so leaving them behind and unnoticed. 

If they could just put a bandage on your mouth so that you won’t speak up, they would do that to you.  Ultimately, they would make every effort they can to get you out of the way.  Either get you get kicked out or  ultimately you leave your job. 

Really, I am not just writing this for no reason at all.  I am doing this since I have experienced how man’s insecurities may lead to a great havoc in a workplace, to a relationship with friends, family members or in a boy-girl relationship.  Every piece of such insecurity is an issue deep down in one man’s soul that has not been confronted and accepted that at certain point in his  being himself…  The truth is we are limited in a lot of ways and extent and the reality that there is someone much better and  “Someone” up there is in control at some point in our lives.

We cannot do everything in our lives to carry that “canyon”, "bombs", "missiles", just to secure ourselves with any threat that would attempt to “harm”  as we perceive them to be.  There is that fact and truth about us that we need to accept.  Again, we are limited and our acceptance in that level gives us that solemnity and peace of our humanity that we cannot pretend that we can do all things to protect our own worlds which we thought are so big.  We carry within us the truth that each of us has our own small worlds and we expand this "smallness" by reaching out and allowing others’ capacities to come in so that we grow in knowledge, wisdom and grace before everyone.    In this manner, we would be able to eliminate that fear of losing. 

We can simply LET GO and ACCEPT…  that WE ARE LIMITED …and we NEED OTHERS to extend the LIMITS of space in order to have a much bigger and freer world.  Oh, I tell you it is more relaxing not to compare what I have with what others have.  And it is quite a peace to realize that each of us has his own unique self to contribute in this so big world of ours (as I see it).  

Let us all continue to build and re-build ourselves every single day:-)  God bless everyone:-)