“For I Shall Not Pass This Way Again"

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One day my husband scheduled himself to go somewhere but was held by our daughter’s loud cry.  He then picked her up with the following statement :  “  I decided to stay and just cuddle Mikay (our daughter Makaela)…one day in the future…we will not be able to do with her what we are able to do now”.  Exactly…shall I put a little drama in it by quoting this line…”for I shall never pass this way again”.     

We do shower our daughter with our love and care and we have seen she blossomed into a very happy baby.  She simply spreads her sunshine of giggles and smiles anytime awake or asleep.  She looks at you as if you are the only person in her world at each moment she rests her eyes on you.  She looks at  you like she wanted you to pick her up and just play with her.  She mumbles and responds as if she is talking to us while we talk to her about anything.  She is such a beauty and so perfect as she is.  And I thank the Lord everyday for sharing such a beautiful innocent soul to us couple. 

You what I fear the most and is something that I refuse to admit to myself?  It is to die young and not being able to see my daughter grow up, have a career and get married or whatever vocation she my pursue (hmmm daddy fears that she will join religious life hahahha).

Buuut, let me not go far from the title.  Let me not think or be afraid of death.  Let me just look at my moments with our daughter.  As my husband responded with his moment with our daughter by wrapping her in his arms, my time with Mikaela is so precious that I could not just trade it with any other moments outside of the home (hmmm except work).  Do you know that I hop into or run after a jeepney to be able to get a ride fast home?  I do not mind at all doing that.  I just want to be with her at night and put her to bed.  What is so touching  is that she waits for me to be home (no matter how tired she is) before she dozes off to sleep (ohhh my lovely little lady).

I almost forgot we do pray the rosary together before she sleeps.  And  when she is too tired,  I continue to pray while she sleeps soundly in my arms.

Hmmmm.  Let me do it now… for my family…for my dear daughter…”for I shall not pass this way again…” J

“The Best Teacher Can Teach Even Under a Mango Tree”

oopps that is not my student hahahahhaa

It was my classmate in the graduate school that mentioned this in class.  I was struck with this line.  You know why?  I have been so dependent with technology – computer, LCD projector, etc.  I could hardly recall a time when I presented my reports without these stuffs.  I never imagined my seminars and workshops without it.  If others have updated themselves with really very powerful gadgets, I still find myself on its way to updating or perhaps buy a tablet to make it lighter for me to carry (huh I do carry big bag for my laptop).  And I could hardly imagine myself going back to  writing on a manila paper or bring a small black board under that “mango tree” while I teach.

Oh I almost forgot to mention, I am now back to full time teaching and counselling.  First and foremost since I am into teaching, I am looking for other means other than the use of technology to make my class presentations interesting. Manila paper can be one.  But as I researched from other colleagues, one of whom is asthmatic, he brings his own television screen attached to his laptop to promote his paperless  and chalk-less (wheheheh)presentations.  Wow that is something else.

But hey, I am still thinking of my classmate’s line “the best teacher can teach even under a mango tree”, I immediately thought  “really?”.   I found it amazing.  I seemed to feel like really my first time to hear it which triggered my curiosity.  I am always apt to any challenge and learn better.  How is that?  This kind of teacher that tries to shape and fit a particular learning encounter with students interests despite the limited visual aids,  can be considered truly the best. 

Hhaha now do I want to gain the title “The best teacher that ever landed on planet earth”?  Not really (hahahah crazy ha).  I am just trying to look for the simplest ways of presenting a lesson in class yet, maximizing learning.  And since I am now connected with public education, I am dealing with simple students that deserve to get what they ought to equally learn like those students from the private schools. 

Hmmm…let me climb first the “mango tree” in order to see better how I would go about presenting my lessons.  Or perhaps the mango tree has a better idea.  Hahahaha crazy me…now lets go to the mango tree and sit together whahahahhahaha…toinks.

Maria Mikaela Turned One Year Old

As I listened from husband’s simple welcome speech to our guests at our daughter’s simple birthday party (July 28, 2013 at the Dynasty Hotel and Restaurant) before our family members and very close friends, I realized how time has gone fast.  My husband was tracing how one year ago we struggled with my unexpected delivery “…and now she is in front of us healthy, big and strong”. 

While my husband did that, I had such mixed emotions.  I was also filled with pride looking at our cute daughter sitting in front of my husband playfully clapping her hands as if cheering her dad.  I was so overwhelmed by that site.  I love them both so much.  I knew then that I would do everything by God’s grace to keep my family intact, alive and truly in service to God. 

I would like also to honor God’s  for His bounty at the same time such that, celebrating Maria Mikaela’s birthday at the hotel was unexpected.  We had it all planned and to just hold it home.  Yet, I was sick for days and I was so tired when I got home from work ( I am now back with my full time job teaching and counselling).  Realizing the little difference in the expense if we hold it at the hotel made us hop into such decision. 

It was only a 1 and a half day preparation.  We did not even prepare invitation.  The good thing with technology was that, we just sent txt messages to our relatives in Bukidnon and some close friends and sponsors of Mikaela during her christening.  I and our house assistant Welma landed on a Saturday at a one-stop shop where we would all stuffs for kids and had the tarpaulin done before I joined my Saturday class at the Graduate school. 

I thought that if I pursued having it at home, I would have been absent in class and sleep really late at night.  But then we were so relaxed.  My sister Gay was the usual errand bringing all the ordered stuffs like cake and lechon and bringing us all to the hotel with all our stuffs (including Mikaela’s crib…hahah it’s a folded crib so it just looked like one of those travelling bags we brought to the hotel).

Welma with her friend Cassandra decorated the place with balloon together with one of the hotel staffs.  Food was served buffet.  There was really  no prepared formal program .  I just hopped into the microphone to be the automatic emcee of the party.  I bravely thought that I have done it with other people’s birthdays and wedding,  so I could not resist my very own daughter’s very special and memorable first birthday.

It went well as I ran though my handwritten flow of the  program with those hastily prepared list of the games that I thought might bring in fun to the party.  My daughter was a little agitated in the earlier part of the program since she was not really used to loud voice around her plus my very loud voice when I used the microphone.  So we decided to “ship” her at the back of the room in my husband’s arms.  It was a fun fun time. 

Then came the blowing of her candle which I did  myself since its obvious that Mikaela did not have that capacity yet.  But we made it sure that she would be able to witness everything.  As I brought the cake in front of her, I saw how her eyes lit with excitement and curiously she surveyed it. 

From there she had to be brought up to our room to rest since she was obviously tired after such a "long" and tiring celebration.  She was not used to big celebrations yet she patiently stayed and had fun aside from being transferred from one guest's arm to the other for pictorial from time to time.

I was very tired …yes…and having been sick for 3 days.  I thank God for the grace to be able to stand firm in that moment joyful moment that we had as a family.  We love our daughter so much that we wanted her (despite not being able to understand our initiative) when she grow up to look back through photos how her first birthday was memorably celebrated by our family together with our relatives and friends.

Thank you dear God for blessing us with a wonderful and beautiful little girl by the name of MARIA MIKAELA:-)

Kuya Kurt, uncle Jun, kuya rock, kuya Kurt and ate girl2

Daddy's speech time

dancing time with the kids

Uncle Dennis and Auntie Gay

cousins kuyas and ate Kurt, Rock, Girl2 and friends Kookie and Julia

Doc Ronnie, Koobie and Anton

Neighbors Mrs. Talingtingan with daughter Trisha, hubby Tyrone and daughter Tahnya

Atty Roel, Meg and daughter Fiya

sis Gay, ninangs Lolitz and Nina with Ninong Rodel and Tito Ronnie

Lolo Pops

Tito Nono, cousin ate Patricia and ateJane

Lolo Pops with ate Welma, Jane and Paticia

Kuya Nickey with lalabs ate Shai

Doing One Small Act Of Kindness

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I was so busy today.  I was procuring documents for my license application at PRC.  I had to meet people at school that could help me out with what I needed to produce for this license.  The final part was to go to an internet café to encode and print some documents for the final submission.  While waiting for the printed materials I caught a little boy with a blank gaze sitting  near the door of the café.  He looked so messy, wore tattered clothes, pale and looked like he has not bathed for a month or more.

I held myself from looking at him.  Yet I knew that I was bothered by the site.   I starting to think of my own daughter that I dearly and carefully take care each day.  I was then running the thought “Feed me today”.  All of a sudden I was on the verge of tears.  Did I just imagine that line or Someone may be dictating me to do that.  But I said “no”.  I would be embarrassed in front  of everyone in this café. 

Yes.. Embarrassed was the word that I was thinking.  I did not want people around running the word “hypocrite” in their mind.  “Or was I really a hypocrite?”.  I was trying to validate my own thoughts.  After a short while the printed documents were handed to me.  I decided to settle at one side so that I could arrange all of my documents  before I would rush to the Philippine Regulations Commission’s (PRC – Region 10) office. 

While I was doing that I was trying to steal another glance at that little boy that at this time looked like “catatonic”.  What I meant was, he seem to be not moving at all and so unaffected by any customers that passed him by from time to time.  I was holding my breath.  I was deeply hoping that he would notice me and may perhaps ask me for some money or food to eat.  But there was no sign or any hint that he would be doing that.   

 

I remember what the priest that celebrated the Eucharist at lunch time mentioned before he gave his final blessing “do any act of kindness today”.  And I was again moved to tears that I just held so as to still compose myself despite the struggle to extend myself to that one boy in need.  I then prayed for courage.  I already felt that time  that I was not imagining that voice inside me that said “Feed me today”.  I had to feed that boy that moment.  I bravely stood up, approached him and asked “did you eat your lunch?”.   Did I just say “bravely”? hahahaa.  I never thought it would take such huge bucket of energy to be able to approach him in that situation.  

He was not at all responsive with that question and gave me that blank look.  I repeated “do you want to eat your lunch”.  He nodded.  Then I said “come with me”. 

With that I was no longer conscious who those people that witnessed  my invitation.  I was armed with courage to make that one boy in need to make him eat that moment.  I saw the need.  I responded.  If I was his mother I would not do anything in the world to just leave him on the street.  I will take good care of him at least in that …moment.

I brought him to a barbecue station.  He was sort of shocked to see varieties of food that I pointed for him to choose from so that he could have a good lunch.  I bought them and asked one of the servers “palihug ko atimana siya”  (please  take care of him) since I was already rushing.  He did not look at me since his eyes were busy with his food being prepared in front of him.  I payed  and tried to steal one last look at him trying to check if he was fine before I went out of that barbecue station. 

I was like floating when I went out.  You know why?  I realized that just one small act of kindness was like that sparkling water cleansing me from my selfishness and self centeredness. One small act of kinds created a miracle in a day not only for me but perhaps to those that may have “accidentally” witnessed such event.

I realized also that it is not the fear to be embarrassed in front of others but the fear to be talked about and labelled by others contrary to the gesture.  It is the pride to protect myself from others’ speculating and judging eyes.

Perhaps I got embarrassed because I rarely do it.  I guess I just have to do it more often so that I may not be so conscious of what others say.  I needed to get used to doing acts of kindness so that I would be healed from being so focused with myself.

Can you relate with that?

PS…That voice was God’s inviting me to “Feed Him …today” through that one boy that needed food to eat.

Guide Questions:

1.      How would you be able to extend your “one small act of kindness” today?

The BEST DADDY In the World

Best Daddy in the World

It will always be a family bias.  Naming members of our family as the BEST.  My daughter's daddy will always be that for me (no more fights please hahahah) and I guess our daughter feels the same.  

This is the first Fathers' day that my husband is officially called a father / daddy to our little girl Maria Makaela.  When he celebrated his birthday last June 6, I surprised him with a cake with the greeting on it "Happy birthday Daddy Mike".  He awkwardly said with his shy smile) that he is not used to it yet grateful for such initiative (thanks to my sister Gay for choosing such line for him).

A simple cake for my beautiful hubby and
daddy to Mikaela

I want so much to make my husband happy.  I know that I have not really pleased him a lot of times  with how I have behaved since we got married yet, I always feel his acceptance and forgiveness.  My husband is a simple man.  With that simplicity also comes his very practical approach to life.  I do respect him in a lot of ways including his great sacrifice for our family.  

On my husband's birthday - June 6, 2013

My husband is such a rare kind of man.  I can see how he has learned to take care of the entire family including his initiative to take care of our daughter when I am not around the house despite the loads of books that he had to read to prepare for his BAR exams.  He learned how to bathe our daughter, change her diaper, put her to sleep, monitors our daughter's supply and does the shopping himself and so many, many more.

He has temporarily forgone his desire to take the BAR exams the previous year to focus on the primary needs of our family including his financial support with my post graduate studies.   For that I do admire him  very much.  Thus, I thought so much of supporting him.

At the moment, I strive so hard to be able to get a full time job for me to take over with family expenses and for him to give way to getting his desire done so that he would become a lawyer  someday ...soon.  I know that he wants so much to have his private time so that he could focus, yet I can see also that he can't just let go his involvement with taking care of  our dear daughter.  It pains my heart to see how his desire is set a aside for a while.  Yet I can see how happy he is also with the sacrifice that he is extending.

Our daughter's fancy ...to entertain herself
 even without a playmate

I know that one day our God will reward this one great man's sacrifice - my man, my husband and father of Mikaela.  I know that one day he will become God's beautiful Lawyer.  

PS.  It has always been his prayer to be a good Christian Lawyer...He thinks so much of serving God through this profession.  At the moment  I think He has served God so well being my husband, father to our daughter and being a good provider to our family.

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY HON:-)  I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH:-)

Your Angel's Name is ...Mother

http://www.google.com.ph/search?q=mothers'+day

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. One day the child asked God, “They tell me you are going to send me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?” God replied, “Among the many angels I have chosen one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.” Said child, “But tell me here in Heaven I don’t do anything else but sing and smile. That’s what I need to be happy!”

God replied, “Your angel will sing for you every day. And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy.” And, said the child, “How am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don’t know the language that men talk?” “That’s easy”, God said, “Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.” The child looked up at God saying, “And what am I going to do when I  want to talk to you?”

God smiled at the child saying, “Your angel will teach you how to pray.” The child said, “I’ve heard on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?” God replied, “Your angel will defend you, even if it means risking life!” The child looked sad, saying, “But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.”

God replied, “Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.” At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard. The child in a hurry, asked softly, “Oh God, if I am about to leave now please tell me my angel’s name!” God replied, Your angel’s name is of no importance… you will simply call her

MOTHER!

I Am Glad The World Celebrates Mothers' Day

http://www.google.com.ph/imgres

When I was a kid I never heard that the world celebrates mothers’ day.  I could not recall that I would have to make greeting cards for mothers for this particular day.  I could only recall Christmas, Valentines’ day and mama’s birthday.  I rarely even gave her cards.  We were never used to festive celebrations either.  There were 6 of us kids so we could not compare who’s more favourite since our parents put our birthdays together on one occasion.  Either held it during mama’s birthday or papa’s or during their wedding anniversary.

Now that I am older and oohhh so married, I am so glad despite the commercialized presentations at the malls and how the media present it, that the world has acknowledged mothers.  You see I have never appreciated such celebration since it “came” to the Philippines (for I thought of it at first to be so westernized) until I became a mom last year. 

Motherhood has brought me to next dimension.  A deeper level of understanding relating with an innocent baby.  It has opened my heart to the most intimate of human encounter everytime I hold my baby in my arms.  Each moment with her  is like embracing God’s beauty.  Her innocence is an openness to one of the most beautiful miracles of life that I have ever participated. 

I am so glad that today (May 12, 2013) is mothers’ day.  I never thought though of something grand aside from the fact that I convinced my husband that we could spend it at the mall.  Yet we both decided for a simpler celebration.  Such that bond as a family at home.  I did not expect any surprises though except that the first one that greeted me is our  “assistant” at home named Welma.  I received her greeting with giggle while I was robbing my eyes very early this morning and adjusting how I sounded with my rather rough morning voice. 

I received a kiss from my husband too.  And was so overwhelemd with how my little girl just touched my face with both her hands while she surveyed my face with her cute eyes, smile and giggle.  My husband told me that, that’s Mikaela’s mothers’ day greeting for me.  Hmmm I wonder if she understood what it is all about but her gesture is more than enough of a mothers’ day greeting for me.  Her touch was like foretastes of the many images of heavens on earth.  Thank you dear God.

In the middle of the morning, I tried to post message at facebook and to my own mother that past away years back with the statement

"happy mothers' day to all mamas...and to my mama Gloria ...you may have passed away years ago...but I am carrying with me your legacy. Thank you kaayo mama...God bless your soul:-) I have now my little girl Mikaela...and she makes motherhood possible for me...and she is so lovely ma:-) And ohh...i now feel your sacrifice for me...it is not easy to take care of a baby...i am so glad and so thankful that you took good care of me...I love you mama:-) You are in my heart:-)"

I read this statement to my neighbour sister from where she commented how I put drama in the way I write.  Ehem…that is just me…heheh

After that,  Welma  went to the market for her regular Sunday assignment.  When she got home she called me from the sink while she took out her little “secret” -  three red roses.  I was on the verge of tears when she told me “Ate, I am giving this to you since I am far from home and I cannot give any to my own mother”.  I was so touched by her thoughtfulness.  I gave her a kiss for that beautiful surprise.

The afternoon was a combination of relaxed and tensed mode.  Relaxed since we all dozed off to sleep and a little tensed when we woke up rushing for the Church.  Even if we were a little worried of the possible heavy rain, we forged to hearing the mass.  All mothers were greeted and after the mass I brought my little girl as usual to the blessed mother’s photo in front of the Church, Sto Nino and the Divine Mercy Photo of Jesus. 

We went home in a festive mode with a hearty dinner plus that tasty ice cream dissert. We thought the night would just end after  the family rosary prayer.  Yet I pursued with finishing some school work while my husband turned on the television where I saw some really very poor family from a very depressed …squatter area in Luzon.  I was really caught unaware to how I emotionally reacted to the kids being raised alone by the mother.  They missed meals, naked with big tummies, sleeps without blanket, very dirty surroundings.  And I just caught myself really shedding tears of remorse to how this family has survived the situation.

Then I just slipped my hand through my husband’s as I continued with my tears and told him how we have complained at times over some minor difficulties and there are a lot of people that have suffered more (oh I was just so glad that we did not have to be so lavish with this day) …with poverty in our country.

Really  I am glad there is mothers’ day but to some mothers that  are really very poor could not appreciate celebrating such.  You know why?  They do not focus on the celebration.  They are seeing where they are and how they could survive the difficulties that they are into.

I was so overwhelmed with what I saw.  Yet my husband just told me and pointed  to our house assistant Welma.  She is our mission.  We could be her own parents since she herself came from a very poor family in Bukidnon that could hardly eat their meals in a day.

There is so much to do in the world.  While others desire for so many things.  I do hope I  could invite any of you to  at least include in our desires helping even one person that really needs financial help.

You know what I desire so much after that?  My heart hungers so much to take care of a lot of God’s children.  The innocent ones.  More than that, one day I would focus my attention to taking good care of adolescents so that one day they would spend their energies  finishing their studies and become much better parents and provider to their own children someday…God’s dear children.

Again, I am glad the world celebrates motherhood.  But I would be more glad if we could be mothers even to children that are not really our own.  True motherhood does not only limit  to taking care of biological children.  It is also about nurturing and taking good care of those children that need our care, unconditional love, guidance, protection, those who have no one to run to or are rejected by their own families, etc. 

To the Ladies...

... we can be all mothers right? …in any way we can…J we just have to reach out and give ourselves…  To those that don’t have children…why not consider adopting one…Oh you could be the one that could save the future of one of God’s little ones who have no one to embrace him / her.  You can be what he or she longs to have in this child’s heart.  You could be this child’s answer to his / her prayers.  God bless you everyone and all the mothers throughout the world. :-)

“INVESTING” On Our Children

I belong to a Catholic Christian Community called Sowers Field Community.  Formerly (10 to 20 years ago) its membership was only limited to college students and young people / professionals.  Now it has extended its members to the members’ sons and daughters which now compose the children and the teens.

I have been “away” for some time in the community.  When manong Boyet (Joseph Lamberte) called me up   to handle the topic on leadership with the teens’ group, I readily gave it my “yes”.  I love being with adolescents.  I love so much the spirit of the young ones.  Being with them is like “playing” – with words, ideas and how they feel about things.  I get to “experiment” so many things with them through the “art” of questioning.  In short I can be naughty and “kulit” when I ask questions.

I fashioned the module into three stages :

God.  There was an assignment to bring any picture of God.  They were asked to explain what they see about God in the picture and how they feel about it.  They were also asked about what they know of God as a leader and who among the members of their own families they saw as model to leadership.

Family and Self.  They were asked first and foremost to draw an ideal  family  including a symbol of themselves.  Some of them have emotionally shared their experiences and how they look at their own families including its members. 

Leadership.  In this part, they were grouped according to ordinal position in the family such that all eldest go together, middle children and the youngest are grouped in the same manner.  They share their own roles in the family and  the call to leading regardless of whether they are the eldest, middle or the youngest.  They need to lead and model good behaviour.

At first I was sort of “rigid’ with my programming stating a per hour activity.  When I arrived there, I was so late thus I needed to adjust my time.  I simply decided to be flexible  and enjoy being with them.  True enough I did. 

I was so stunned with how they think and feel about things.  I realize they have so much to share.  Young people are so rich with realizations  and insights that we really have to spend time to ask them despite that they dragged me sometimes since some were so inhibited with answering some questions.  I guess some of them may not be used to my way of asking the questions yet I appreciate so much their effort of trying to hop into my world.  And again they amaze me so much. 

That was why I wished so much the parents were there to listen to their children talking.  If was the parent I would have cried listening from my own son or daughter sharing how she feels and thinks about things.  Some have shared unexpected insights given their age.  I felt that if their parents were there, they would be very proud of them. 

Yes it was such a wonderful experience and I thank the Lord for giving me the chance to be with young people despite having  fever, sniffing my nose from time to time or catching my breath or wiping my sweat, or eating some crackers during the session.

Another thing that really enlarged my heart and almost led me to tears was when I led that “Angelus” prayer during lunch time in front of the kids – both the grade schoolers and the teens.  It was tough. I realized I have not been praying the angelus for quite a long time.  I almost got lost.  What made me almost break into laughter during the prayer time was when saw some of the kids’ eyes on their food and some of them that I presume did not know the prayer looked like they have “locked jaw” as they looked at my eyes during prayer time (ooohhh so candid and sooo cute hahahah).

Kids are so lovely, adorable…so beautiful…so innocent and honest,  You can even read them through their looks …their eyes.  It did not matter whether they knew the prayer or not.  They were just simply a reminder to me that God…OUR BEAUTIFUL GOD is so present in them. 

As I quote manong boyet when I ambushed him to send me home,  “why not INVEST ON OUR OWN CHILDREN”.  Why not right?  In this manner we bring them closer to God and really closer to the mission that He wants of us.  One day we realize the same children will bring others to God too...

morning session with Gemwel, Jepcyl, Carole, Simon and Dino

L to R :  Liane, Micah, Gemwel, Jepcyl, Carole and Simon

engaged in an activity

so serious ha...

The round table discussion with future leaders

Morning Sesion ehem...my back heheh