"Fernando" is Hope

I received an invitation (February 22,2011) from Fr. Frank, SJ to join the academic convocation at St. John Vianney seminary. I feared going alone so in the middle of the discussion with the HR Supervisor, I threw the invitation to him and to the sales officer and his assistant. We ate dinner filled with laughter and excitement prior to the activity.

As soon as we got there, we were welcomed well by a seminarian and Fr. Frank himself. We had kumustahan and tawanan. In the middle of it, i felt my hand empty. I was no longer holding my wallet.

I wanted to panic. Instead, i asked assistance from one of my friends to trace our route in the seminary from the time we arrived to the the time we went inside the chapel. To no avail and to my sort of shock state, i stayed in my seat trying to figure out how it happened.


I was on the verge of more intense panic. But i felt the grace of calmness as soon as i asked for it in prayer. I realize, i cannot simply ruin the night. I claimed and chose to stay composed and to stay focused. I already decided to enjoy my night and so it had to be. I declared the choice to have fun!!!!!! I told my friends not to worry about me. And soon enough they were convinced that i was fine ( and i was super dooper oks and totally forgot about it during the activity of the seminarians).

How did i maintain such calmness? In the middle of such intense emotional reaction, i realize it is still a matter of choice whether to give in to the crippling emotion of regret, blame, panic, distress, et. Anything negative that i can associate with the situation.

I don't want to be unfair to myself, my friends, Fr. Frank, the seminarians and all the more to God. I was there to have fun. That moment was a gift...and so i savored it.

Since my mind was still intact after that (Thanks be to God for the grace!!!!), my mind was focused with the next thing to do such as calling all my cards' call centers to block the numbers and thought of securing another driver's license and professional licenses. That was all...

The night ended with me landing in bed not blaming myself or anybody else (bakit ba naman gagawin ko yon heheh). I dozed off to sleep immediately and woke up still hopeful for the next day. I told my honey about the whole incident and as soon as he realized that there was no hint of panic at my end, he just relaxed too and thought of preparing my affidavit of loss (very supportive honey nako...Thanks be to God).

To this day, i still entertain the possibility of having my wallet back but in my heart there is that resignation to God's will. God willing it to happen for me to learn my lesson of focus...focus...focus. But beyond focus is the grace of humility...humbly accepting the loss and totally placing it in God's wisdom behind the situation.

Additional lesson was revealed late today. Just this afternoon, i met a man that expressed his little heroic act of returning the phone that he found to one of our employees. The txt message he received through the phone cited the address of our office so he came for such purpose.

I and the sales officer were both dumbfounded of the great act this man did. Though he was given some sort of "token/gift" to thank him of his initiative, still, I couldn't stop thinking "meron pa palang katulad niya sa panahong ito".

I asked him of his name. It's FERNANDO. From Fernando, i found the hope that my heart was looking for in the midst of my situation of the lost wallet. Hope is Fernando in my context.

I waited for some days to be able to put my experience into writing. Este, I did not wait for days. I waited for Fernando to come to be able to see and feel hope in the midst of dishonesty, selfishness and my carelessness (whahhahahahahha).

PS...our mind may will it...but it is God's grace that sustains and it is His grace that makes us see lessons in the midst of any difficult situation...:-)