I just recently felt the panic of parenting. My "pamangkin" (an adolescent - 16 years old) was left under my care. She told me one day that her 23 year old boyfriend would want to meet me one of these days. As in super dooper "oh my God"...what am i into. In my panicky gesture beyond my control, i rushed to my sister's house for support. She listened to my entire emotional story about my niece but then i was interrupted by the teasing laughter of her husband followed by a comment "unsa na lang if imo na nga anak dang noh?"....hahahhaha that's why the panic.
That night after the conversation, i was terrified. In my prayer, i told God, that I am frightened to get married. There will be situations that parenting demands for itself such as the situation of my niece.
I believed in my "sane-most" state that i have such a sharp mind and smart in a lot of ways except this. I humbly told my niece the following morning "i am sorry if i was sort of panicky...but i am not confident with dealing your situation that's why I decided to let you go back home and talk to your dad".
I admit, i was disappointed with myself that time. I thought to myself that i am a skilled counselor, that i have helped lots of adolescents and families during my 10 years of counseling practice but my disappointment pointed to my lack of courage of facing my own niece.
Though frustrated, down and low (hehehhe todo na to), i felt that i made the right decision to let her talk to her dad and agree on some parameters before she continues to live with me. If things are clear between her and her parents, then she can come back with me and I do as much as I can to practice my parenting skills. Oh my God...help me heheheheh.
Parenting is hard. I don't know how far i can go as a parent...
At this point, I can only conclude this article with...GOD HELP ME hhahahhahaha
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