From My Family to Yours...MERRY CHRISTMAS...LOVE...LOVE ...LOVE

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas

I just hosted a Christmas program.  What struck me prior to that was the line “perhaps there are others who may be needing us rather than expecting that we would receive something”.   I stated similar line in the opening part of the program.  And I further stated that “without Jesus being born into this world, there would not have been Christmas…December would have been  ….hmmm sort of boring”. 

This Christmas, I declared not to buy for myself(except for the shoes that I thought I should buy or else I would be on that stage with a broken strap wedding sandal which I thought I could recycle during the hosting…harhar).    It feels different to just give even with just the little that I have.  My husband is quite contented with simple things.  We just decided to give… we wanted to feel Christmas by giving.  We also decided to join “simbang gabi” almost every night (anticipated dawn masses) with our little girl. 

Though we were not able to complete it, but we like this Catholic devotion so much.  I felt Mikaela’s spirit soaring high every time we got inside the Church.  She would laugh, clap hands, dance and sing or shall I say hum music or sing words…I did not understand heahahahha.…and raised her hands during the singing of “our Father”…She was having the grandest time.  She …hmmm including myself…we made friends with our seatmate family…mostly the children…

Truly, I prayed for the grace to stay simple, humble and focused this Christmas.  To embrace friendship, love, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, healing and sacrifice for my loved ones.  To simply make others happy.  I always prayed every year for Christmas to be different…from how the world sees it. 

Lastly, the world would have been boring without Jesus in it.  Let us make this beautiful day… A TRUE LOVE DAY …to go out from our comfort zones…and TRULY LOVE. 

From my family to yours…MERRY CHRISTMAS! LOVE…LOVE …LOVE…:-)


PS:  I know i have not reached out to a lot of friends, relatives and some family members for the past months or years...but they mean so much to me...I feel so blessed that they came and became part of my journey...I am praying for all of them...:-)

My Little "Bookworm"

my daughter's fancy...books:-)

Among other things that my daughter is interested in, it is browsing books where she spends a lot of time more than playing with dolls and others toys. She cannot read yet. Furthermore, he could only mumble few words. But then, again it is books that  she mostly engage herself with.  

I would not just call it "genetic" (harharhar).  It started with the "OA" ( as in overacting whehhehe) mom in me just wanting to engage her with books as early as her fetal stage (now i can see your face shocked hahhahah).  I read stories to her as early 5 - 6 months inside my womb.  And when she came out, books are within her reach..inside her crib (with my 'supervision' )and on the floor so that she could just get anything everytime she feels like reading them.  

...And so while we watch TV at home, I catch her on the floor with her books.  Or when she seems to be so silent inside the room, I would peep and would see her reading not just those simple story books which she browsed at 1 to 2 year old.  Recently, she is browsing Catholic magazines (oh my) and books like "health and home" ( i guess she likes them... she looks like she is so engage in it).   She gets to choose what she likes to read.  She tears some of them and goes back to reading them despite the looks.  She just "reads". 

Well, at her very young age, I could not exactly tell what her impressions are since she does not verbally express them.  When I get to interfere at times, she would signal to dismiss me.  She just did not want anyone to interrupt.  She looked like thinking hard at a distance.  Though she would point some photos to me which for me is like asking me what they are.  So I would tell her about them until she would pull herself at one corner and continue with her sort of "reading" session.  

As a mom, of course, I am so proud of my "little bookworm" girl.  I get to engage her with some other activities though to balance things such as make her watch her favorite ABCD video and nursery rhymes and play with toys.  But toys usually fly up in the air and land somewhere else.  With books, she is so engaged and shall I call it so at peace and settled...

Other than that, she has neighbor friends who she spends some time in the afternoon to play with.  She would run, dance, pick tiny flowers, laugh and giggle with them, etc.  But then again...when she gets home...she would immediately pick up her ...books:-)

...way to go for my little bookworm girl:-)

Greatest Fulfillment of all...being a Mother ...to Mikaela

with my little lady Maria Mikaela

If there is something that brings a lot of joy to me.... it is being a mother. Coming home from work every single work day in a week is a leap of expectation at those beautiful, sharp innocent eyes of my daughter.  As I enter the door, I would reshape myself into a high pitched clown calling her name with body movements such as dancing, shaking of body, waving my hand...and kissing her on the forehead.  A lot of times, when her nursery rhymes are played, I would sing and dance  which she gladly join with.  

And...ooops...even with the intense desire of embracing her, I just can't do that yet, not until I clean up and change my clothes. You see, I always arrive home really hungry, but a lot of times, I forget that just to be with her...hmmm spend time feeding her while I eat, and then dance like a ...again a clown and I love it when the house is bathed with her giggle and laughter...with tears...it truly heals a tired, overworked body ...:-)

After dinner, I see to it that I will be the one to change her clothes ...preparing her for bed...But not just straight to bed.  I spread her toys on the bed including books...I see to it that it's reading and playing time with her until the prayer before bedtime.  

One time after praying the rosary as a family, she stayed in between me and my husband while uttering and repeating the words : mama, papa and baby with her giggles... My husband followed by saying..."she has a concept of ...family". Another time after praying, she brought my hand to her lips and kissed it, place it on her cheek and kissed it again and put it on her forehead and kissed it again.  That gesture ...simply brought me to tears...just the simple joy and fulfillment of being a mother:-)   ...Just the little girl...a beautiful angel that came to us at God's perfect time...

PS...one day...in the future...she will read this...no matter the circumstance...at every step and stage of my daughter's life...she could always come back and read this...that when she came to us...she completed the concept .."family".

Profound or Not...I still call it...a "Love Affair" ...

https://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781613465134

This writing is something very profound for me...and simple...  You see after an intense experience of  months-long live out retreat themed after the life of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the society of Jesus, life has never been the same.  I felt like I have renewed my commitment with life... with God himself - feeling, seeing, doing things with new depth and meaning.

Just recently, a friend( who is still in the process of knowing who and what I am like) asked me if I am religious.  I hastily answered "let's just call it...a love affair with Jesus". I guess i shocked him with my answer.  I felt the same hahha. I felt truly nervous with that. But I can never deny the fact that what I had and went through in the journey was a beautiful friendship and love that I felt, not focusing on the so called tragedies but the presence of a God that simply wanted to make me see more of him.  Now that is something profound.

Whatever my friend meant with being "religious" still I connect with the relationship that I felt growing despite the challenges that I encounter every single day.  Establishing that friendship... hmmm a love affair is in itself a grace that I continue to feel.   Well, if I could only take out my heart and feel less I would do that.  But the thing is, I am never the same.  When God found me back in his arms, I felt like he was telling me..."I will never let you go treading that wrong path, squandering your energy into something else not "useful".  

And so even if that "love affair" meant intensely feeling life...feeling God's heartbeat in everything...I will never trade that for anything.  At the moment, I feel I found the greatest treasure of all...GOD.

I invite you to reflect with me?

1.  Where are you in your journey with God?

2.  Do you feel him today?

Listen...listen...listen...

God's grace be with you!:-) with all smiles and love:-)

The Unexpected Shift - from a High School Teacher ..to a College Instructor

My discussion with a group of mechanical engineering students

Today, I feel the hunger of writing...of going back to what i love dearly...writing...writing...and writing.  I was consumed for work lately.  I just transferred work last month, June 2015 - from a high school teacher in a public school to a Psychology Instructor in a state university.  I admit I had so much to adjust with from work distance from where I live,  new work load, the bulk of readings to do from where I need to review more, prepare notes, powerpoint presentations, checking of papers, etc.

I feel though so blessed, as I did not really expect that fast transition.  I felt my silence from my previous workplace.  I finished post graduate studies with a festive celebration within my family but not really in my previous workplace.  I just embraced silence in the waiting mode as to what and where my new career would bring me.  When a dear friend last summer poured out her heart when she felt the weight and pain at not being acknowledged for a particular position, I felt the same possibility at my end (though that was the least I had in mind as I was thinking of family first after the very busy final years in the graduate school). The thought of shifting to another job did not really occur until she opened up the idea with me.  

I really hesitated at first.  I felt at first just to embrace silence, contentment and to simply be at peace.  To go home to a family is more than enough already for me.  Yet the possibility of shifting to the tertiary level was just my way of journeying with her.  My submission of that application (though I already submitted twice to the same university almost 3 years ago), was only a gesture of "just being with a friend".  But when I received a txt message two weeks after  that I was considered for hiring, I was more than shocked.  

I went to the state university still with the idea that I was going to undergo the interview process.  Little did I know that it was really and truly for hiring already.  The next scene was, I was facing a group of Vice presidents, deans and the human resource head of the university sharing their excitement of joining them as a full time employee, the opportunity of studying abroad and being assigned to a position in the university and the excitement of being engaged in the culture of research ( as mentioned by the prestigious leaders of the university in front of me that time) were overwhelming.  Furthermore, I no longer underwent the interview, teaching demonstration or the exam process.  I had them years back (except the teaching demo which I never had) so I thought they carried all my scores in the past.  

It was  mixed feelings after that.  There was that challenge to immediately tender my resignation or submit letter for transfer the following day which shocked my former colleagues.   I was given a teaching load immediately in the university, had to comply with the requirements for employment while I immediately had to hold classes the following week..  I was given the employee ID and had the biometrics for the log in and out of employees...and so many things which truly consumed my energy. 

Oh, I was just so glad that the subject that I am teaching (Applied Psychology) is like reviewing only things that I have studied (of course hehehe) and some of the topics I already facilitated in training/ workshops.

Truly, I like what I am doing right now.  I may be adjusting with the transfer / long walks from one building to the other but I take so much pleasure being part of the life of my students (or vice versa...hmmm hoping they appreciate my presence in their lives).

Well...long way to go for the new college instructor who is trying to make a difference ..again ...where she is..

Thank you dear God...for the unexpected shift...:-)

FALL IN LOVE

Attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ -
photo from http://www.usfca.edu/templates/usf_magazine_story_fall_2007.aspx?id=6442494549&tid=2147483673

Nothing is more practical than

finding God, than

falling in Love

in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,

what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.

It will decide

what will get you out of bed in the morning,

what you do with your evenings,

how you spend your weekends,

what you read, whom you know,

what breaks your heart,

and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in Love, stay in love,

and it will decide everything.

A Stress Management...Through A Changed Perspective - Gratefulness and Trusting God More...:-)

I have been running over and over again in my mind writing this article.  I take pride with the capacity to multi task over my husband who does things one at a time.  

Let me start by sharing with you an experience related to this.  I got sick one time with "vertigo".  My world seemed to turn upside down and I could not just get up to prepare for the meals so it was Mike who prepared for us.  Almost an hour after and feeling so hungry, I tried to lift my whole body bracing myself holding the walls for support just to check what he was up to in the kitchen. And oh my, he was seating waiting for the rice to get done after which he would do the soup.  And I was so hungry that I could no longer hold myself from being angry.  He just liked doing a thing at a time.  That's my husband.

With my woman power of multi tasking, I have tried and repeated over and over again about it to him.  Well, i tried to give him the example of it when one pre Christmas food preparation, I stretched my arms in the kitchen to do everything at the same time.  There were 4 stove plates on a gas range. I filled all of them and refill the empty plate with another one until in 2 to 3 hours everything's done.  I had my goal and met the deadline but I was so dead tired after that, that I declared to hear Christmas mass in the morning (not the midnight or earlier mass) since my body could no longer contain or sustain staying up late.

I can see that my husband keeps his pace without being dictated or pushed by my "go go get it" style.  He keeps his pace.  Takes a thing at a time and I am learning a lot from that.  He admitted to me also his weakness that he may not be able to do it with urgent matters at home that's why I thought of taking over in the kitchen when there is a need to do that especially when all of us are hungry already and we need to finish the soonest time.  Or my woman instinct would tell that things have to be done fast to meet an emergency situation.

But many times I am learning from his style of doing a thing at a time.  The latest stress management workshop that I facilitated to a group of employees in a particular company led me also to do my in depth study about managing stress.  

One statement that struck me in my research is "Stress makes you believe that everything has to happen right now.  Faith reassures you that everything will happen in God's timing". I am deeply moved by this statement as I made it the theme of such workshop.  

My own multi tasking "prowess" put me on a higher risk of  health break down. In a video that I watched, it stressed that stress is being perceived by the mind. And if there is something that we need to change it is how we perceive things. Stressors are just triggers.   Oh, I find it a challenge to change how I perceive or interpret things.  And perceiving stressors on a positive way greatly helps even as far as healing pains and illnesses.

The most striking part was when I came across Bo Sanchez article stating that "angry people die sooner".  And, those who are susceptible to heart disease are the type A personality, according to him (people who are aggressive, easily angered, competitive, controlling, and always rushing).  What a great shock that is.  That part led me to deliberately reshape my thoughts and the anger that I have been harboring for quite some time and from recent incidents that have emotionally affected me and to really...slow down...hahhahah.

He further stated that our diseases are messages such as there might be someone that we need to forgive or simply let go of that anger.  Perhaps we need to stop working and trust God more or to stop working so hard and relax with our family.

He also stressed that there are two reasons why we get sick : too much negative emotions and too little positive emotions.  Though he stated the specifics of each but still positive emotions have to be maintained.  

How do we have those positive emotions?  We need to be grateful each day and to simply trust God.  He stated that trust in God is the greatest "stress buster" in the world.  Great woooowww. 

Let me close this with a sharing from again the writing of Bo Sanchez on a particular Jesuit priest by the name of Fr. Georges-Etienne Beauregard (97 years old at the time of his writing).  His secret was "I have no problems. Others have problems with me, but I have no problems.”

Hmmm....It is a matter of attitude...a changed perspective at that ...by being grateful and trusting God more:-) 

How is that?

"DO IT ANYWAY"

The verses below reportedly were written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her. 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

A Special Blend of "Tantrum" Therapy - What We Learned As Parents

https://secure.istockphoto.com/

Let me share with you the experience that I and my husband struggled with our daughter last December of 2014.  Well, yes, December...the time of the year that is supposed to be so joyful, fun and enjoyable yet, earlier part of it, I felt the trauma of going home and listening to our daughter's outburst, wailing, crying ...hmmmm, yes tantrum...Tantrum is an emotional outburst by children expressing some desperation over something which a lot of times we parents do not understand.

I was not really prepared by that.  It started with one dawn time when she woke up and refused being breastfed. I felt that time that the convenience of putting her back to sleep immediately when she woke up at dawn time ended that time.

I was not used to that.  We all get a very good sleep every night and that time was like a big shock to me and my husband.  Just like going back to the first few months when we brought her home from the hospital after the incubation period.  

So how did we deal with that wailing given our neophyte skills?

Firstly, we tried to check any possible physical discomfort that may have triggered such tantrum such as providing her with milk, changed diaper, checked body  temperature, or possible discomfort in the stomach yet it did not alleviate a bit.  She just went on with her crying.

Secondly, we maneuvered our way so that I and my husband could exchange every hour carrying our daughter.  After 2 to 3 hours we felt we could not go on like that. We thought and imagined if it would happen every night, will drain our energy. We should not be sick.  We have to be well for our daughter.

I and my husband felt helpless by that.  We even thought that perhaps we did something wrong which may have triggered such.

Thirdly, from the feeling of helplessness and desperation we decided to pray together.  Well, that one went well by her joining us during the prayer time. Yet we sensed her tiredness and wanting to go back to sleep but just can't do that. She seemed to be needing us to put her in our arms. Which again may bring us back to the second strategy.

So the last move led us to a more drastic and painful decision to let her be.  We decided to leave her inside the room alone.  We were not worried at all since she's an expert with climbing up and down the bed.  The only thing  was to clear the bed to allow her to just express whatever energy she had that led her to that tantrum.  

She was just crying and crying.  I felt the pain of just allowing her to do that. Sometimes I would cry with her outside of the room.  My husband may not have shown those tears but I saw from the look in his eyes the remorse for our daughter.

Then it dawned on me to play some religious songs while she was inside the room.  I downloaded lots of it including the 15 myteries of the rosary and the entire chaplet of the Divine mercy prayer in song.  So if she wakes up again at dawn, these music are played which for two weeks has become her "tantrum" treatment... It has become my daughter's therapy to listen to these collection of songs and prayers combined.

To this day, my daughter is so rare with tantrum.  Her mood has gotten back to become lighter and back with giggling and even humming with the songs except for some minor discomfort.  

And now I call it our unique and special way of treating tantrum with our daughter which really worked....a blend of religious songs and prayer for her:-) 

What did we learn from that as parents?  Our daughter being the only one we've got, has gotten all the attention from us.  She has taken the fancy of it all.  The supposed comfort of being breastfed which she resisted and demanded more of our attention by being carried in our arms may be a comfort for her but not to us her parents at dawn time.  

The reality dawned on us also.  We cannot provide all the time the attention she needs.  Reality would tell us that in life, there can be time for doing other things to keep our life as a family in balance.  Such reality may be,  that any of us parent may be out of the house to work, or do something else at home while our children will learn to do things by themselves.  We were able to learn the hard way such that we had to make our daughter unlearn from too much attachment for her to be able to find herself more.  

I felt that as early as her age, she has to slowly learn the reality that her parents cannot be there all the time for her.  From that, we also unlearn as parents that part when we have to let her go and let her be.

Well, aside from the therapy of relaxation and unlearning of attachment from us on the part of our daughter, she has learned to spend more time with books which amused her so much up to this day.  Other than that, she is now learning to sleep by herself without our assistance.  Though at times she sleeps at any part of the bed but there were times also that she would sleep where she should be which sends the message that she is slowly learning to identify her space in the room.

That for us as parents is an accomplishment for which we thank God for.

For My Students...I am Their Plain...Friend, Comic Teacher:-)...and a Lot More:-)

with my very creative Science Class students from the Grade 8

Looking back, I stopped with post graduate studies for 5 years thinking I could not see myself in such direction.  There were lots of uncertainties and lack of meaning to what I did.  But when I engaged in public service, I thought of finding more meaning everytime I see the eyes of my students who were so hungry of learning - the concepts and stories that I shared with them which ignited me to very creative displaying my comic face, funny voice, stretched arms...."action stories" which cause my students to giggle, laugh, etc.  To them, I am their "comic " teacher.  To them, I am just their plain, simple, funny teacher.

When I told them before the school year (2014-2015) ended that I will be graduating soon, one innocently blurted " you have not finished college ma'am".  I just laughed at it and told them that I was into another higher course.  And the class' fun continued...

the best card design

I like to be known to them as a teacher without those other "flowers", with that my students will be at home with me. I feel the same to them, too.

As I teacher, I have varied ways of presenting and facilitating learning in class such as discussion of concepts, hands-on activities where they create crafts, do some group presentation such as drama, business proposals for those who prefer putting up their business over simply becoming an employee and multiple intelligence type activities.

after the Business proposal presentations of the Grade 7 

But the most fun, fun, time we had was when they had to read their love letters to their parents, friends or special someone where they are allowed to express themselves to their crushes or boyfriend at that (if they have).  The reading for parents was very dramatic,  I witnessed several of them shed tears for their love and gratefulness for their parents or when they have not seen them for a long time and were longing to have them back or the pain at not being taken cared of.  Well they went really wild when they read letters to their special girl or gentlemen in their lives.

At my end, I feel so much for them.  You see, I find them like my own children who would expect so much from their own mother. AT my end I don't want to fail providing them as far as I could to satisfy that hunger for learning.  Even to that extent when I use myself just to animate them in class... And find it meaningful and really fun...:-)

The Most Awaited Bonding Time With Mikaela:-)I

I was so excited when summer vacation (2015) began for it meant more time with family - bonding with my daughter and of course my husband. But I and my husband know that we need to make time and expose more our daughter.  I felt so short with that.  So I thought  of spending more time with the following :

1.  Heart to heart talks 

I have noticed that Mikaela can only speak few words.  I was in panic at first about it.  In my desperation, I researched on premature's ability to speak from where I learned that 30 percent or less speak late but does not really mean inferior intelligence.  So we had to double our effort with it.  I and my husband spent a great deal of time talking with her and discuss anything we see even during watching television time.  She positively responded with it.  At my end, I speak to her like she is one of the adults in the family.  I express how I feel and deeply look into her eyes.   

Truly intelligence is not a concern.  She is so smart with responding to instructions like getting things and giving it to me, turning "on" the switch, climbing up and down the bed as early as 1 year old, shaking hands, or "mano po",  her sensitivity with estimating possibility of falling, sensing emotion with tones of voices (I saw how she responded through her eyes) or putting her hands together during prayer time with giggles in between ( she knows full well that it's prayer time). 

2.  Socialize and Connect with Other kids

Since summer vacation started, I swore to bring my daughter out of the house everyday either for the regular walking or to just socialize with friends.  Now, she is enjoying playing with the neighbor kids running around or walking holding hands with them. It melts my heart seeing her value friendship at 2 years old and appreciating friends and giggling with them.  

Lately, these same friends  looked for her in the morning or afternoon checking if she's awake so they could play.  Then I would hurry to prepare her but I would not wake her up if she is so sound asleep.  So we will just have to do our regular walking without her group of friends but with her dad.

3.  Engage her with other activities 

There are other activities that we engage her such as allowing her to spend time to watch her learning videos - ABCD, music, art etc, explore her books where she points some letters and say them, throw and catch a beach ball (we prefer the softer one for her), dancing together as a family ( hmm Mikaela made my serious husband dance several times already), praying and going to Church together (the usual one), doing grocery together and allow her to explore the vast store running around, scribble the white board with a pen just to allow her to imagine and sketch and so many more.  

I have a very assertive girl.  One time when I tried to hold her pen and point it a certain direction, she held my hand and pushed it aside sending the message to let her be. There were times already that she insisted on her own that we realized to just have to give her that space.  

The other day, was one of the best bonding moments we had  when we just laid in bed and snuggled each other while talking about anything.  It then surprised me when she lifted her daddy's and my hand and put them together while she stayed in between us giggling.  And the best of all was when she held my face and looked straight at my eyes  while she devoured her milk.

Isn't amazing?  

The Challenge of Finishing Post Graduate Studies.....

with the Fr. R. Yap, President of XU,  husband Michael, sister Gay and the Registrar...
thanks to Denis B. Dizon for this wonderfully taken photo

When I decided to go back to school after what was once thought of as  "barren years" outside of the academe, I felt the God's hands putting back some broken pieces out of me.  I felt the direction slowly taking its shape until I was employed as a public school teacher.

Truly i had to juggle graduate school, work, being a wife and mother to my daughter.  More so when at some points we did not have anyone to assist us in the house.  I thought at times why I had to go on with my post graduate studies.  I got sick at times but still  I felt God inspiring me even more.  When I was in the middle of my dissertation, I felt God's generosity through a financing from Xavier University where I  realized He just wanted me to get through it.   

A lot of times, I felt I have physically "beaten" and stretched myself beyond limit.  There were times when I felt numbness.  When thinking was no longer possible.  When inside of me I felt like a crying child so hungry to just be assured and cuddled. I kept on saying sorry to myself. The ultimate physical breakdown came when I had anxiety attack and I felt I had shortness of breath and that I fear dozing off to sleep for I might not wake up the following day. Ohh that one I prayed hard not to happen.  

My dear husband was there all throughout. But I craved for more...prayer...to go back and strengthen my love relationship with God.  And indeed it was a "love affair" in the midst of that so very busy stage in my academic life.  I graduated by God's provisions of material blessings and mercy.  I finished post graduate studies seeing His "unlimited presence" in varied forms.  I could not ask for more...:-) except to thank My God:-)

PS...and when I get home...I felt that I was just "nobody" except a wife to my very supportive husband and mother to a very refreshingly innocent  little girl...our new naughty playmate in the house ...Maria Mikaela.:-)

Sending the True Message of Getting Higher Education

I remember writing years back about the desire of finishing higher studies.  The motivation was just to finish what I started but it later deepened into something more meaningful and connected to a mission.  It came to that point when someone expressed her fears after my final paper defense that I might change and become "unreachable".  

From that statement I thought of something else to reframe myself and refocus to the the very essence why one pursues higher studies.  From the purpose of simply getting it done, I thought of this line "the purpose of getting into higher education is to become a much better person in everything...a much better character more than anything...anything contrary to that opposes its true essence from where education may have defeated to penetrate in the person."

So that friend of mine may not worry at all or fear at finding the worst (hmmmm heheh)...that I could promise. I remember my older sister told me after my final defense that I should be grateful that we were raised by humble and prayerful parents more than anything.  So true.  That statement was like indirectly reminding me to stay grounded.  

Prayer:  Thank you dear God for journeying with me and making me get into this level to affect that positive influence...I am continuing your beautiful legacy ...your mission...Amen.

My 41st Birthday

I never made any announcement nor remind anyone about my birthday.  I just simply wanted to feel what it would be like when anything about my person will not be really given attention to or focused on. At first I felt strange.  Yet, I guess i wanted to tame myself more and be away from "limelight".  The grace to be silent and insignificant was what I remember I asked from God before my birthday.

My family members knew about it already so I never made any extra effort for that. And of course they remember me ...always.  And a friend priest - Fr. Roger Gabac, SSJV sent his private message at facebook.  

Before I loved so much the attention.  Sssshhh wait... I still like it now but not really giving it much attention so that I would forget simplicity and "insignificance".  

I appreciate so much "silence".  It gives me more time to forming and reforming how I was shaped by my ego from the previous years.  I loved being acknowledged with my achievements.  Yet, I love it even better when others will not give me importance or treat me kindly because of my achievements.  I know that well in my heart.  

Now for my birthday -  January 8, 2015,  I woke up with the feeling that it was special for me whispering prayers of thanksgiving before God and prepared breakfast. When my husband woke up, he gave me the warmest hug and kiss (hmmm I love it so much being wrapped in his arms).

He wanted us to have a dinner date with our daughter but I suggested that we will just buy food and have it at home shared with my neighbor's sister's family.  When I arrived at school, nobody knew about it so I kept my silence and went ahead with preparing and teaching my students (  I always have fun with my students).

At lunch time, I had a date at mass with the Lord.  That was the highlight of my day, celebrating it in prayer to God with glitters of thanksgiving.  Hmmm now the question is "did ask for a gift?".  I did.  I told Him about it the day before my birthday.  Another question..."do I have enough faith to believe that He will grant it?".  Hmmmm that is one of the most difficult part.  I need God's grace to strengthen my faith so that I will just simply believe and let go.  Hmmm my last question..."what if what I asked for is not really for me?"....My answer..."It will never stop my friendship with God:-)"

The night simply ended with the regular walking with my daughter and husband.  I love the sound of my daughter's giggles when she's brought out of the house. ( I was just worried when we realized that my daughter was no longer wearing one shoe and we had to look for it before we went back to our house.)  The excitement with just being us...rather the excitement of having both of them is the greatest birthday gift of all. 

Thank you God.  Thank you God for another year of my life.  Thank you God for your generosity, for your blessings, abundance, patience ....hmmm etcetera hehehehe.  I love you sooooo much...:-) ...Hmmm i get that ...you made me feel that first...:-0