ALL IN A DAY

THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON OF 2011 – A Painful Story of a Typhoon tragedy in Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines

The other day I heard that Misamis Oriental would be affected by typhoon with signal # 2. It did not sink a bit when I heard about it at work. Work and work was all I had in mind. When I went home, I was so tired and feverish. I just drank my vitamins and went to my sister’s house (just beside where I live) to converse with her a little while the rain started to do some heavy outpouring.

I already secured my dog in the house (tobby was quite disturbed by the heavy rain) while I lingered a little with my sister. But then I became uncomfortable making me decide to go back to my nook. And there was my dog sleeping soundly rolling all over his space on the floor while I did some night’s stretching before I retired for bed.

The rain became heavier and I started to worry of the weather and the neighbor subdivision just one kilometer downhill from our location (good thing our place is on a highland). But then I moved on with my night’s rosary until I dozed off to sleep.

At exactly 4 am my dog scratched the door giving me the signal that he would move out of the house. I was supposed to wake up earlier. My alarm was set at 3:10 am so that I could join the 2^nd day of the dawn mass. Due to power interruption, I dared not go out of the house. Not without my husband who is currently in Bukidnon. I dozed back to my soundest sleep and woke up 6:30am.

Well, such a beautiful morning I thought setting aside my sort of panic that I would be late at work. At my sister’s house I heard loud conversations – water, vacating, etc. It gave me a clue of the aftermath of the typhoon. I called up my sister from my where I live and told her “good thing you did not pursue selling your house”. She agreed with me in that. But then they did not store up enough water for the entire family to bathe with so I offered some to them (good thing my husband stored more than enough in case of emergency).

I had some smooth morning sail. I ate my meal, fed my dog and my adopted dog and cats. My heart was so light while I thought of sending message to my husband or perhaps give him a call to check how he was and perhaps gather some information about the past night’s typhoon. Anything and whatever. But he is so upland that I can worry less of him.

I hurriedly went out of the house to catch up with time at work. When the jeepney I rode with reach SM Cagayan de Oro, I was so stunned by the sight of 3 individuals that joined us. Their clothes were dirty, muddy and wet. I started asking, “what happened, where they came from, to describe what happened the previous night”. On and on …I and the person seating next to me were throwing endless questions which they answered in detail. Everyone at the jeepney were dumbfounded. I did not think of the worst the previous night but as the conversation continued, I could give you a description of my bleeding, muddy and a broken heart.

I went down from that jeepney ride in tears. I had such a wonderful sleep not knowing in between that night when my world was so peaceful and silent, the other part of my place was mourning, struggling for their lives, holding on to something they could grab with to secure themselves and their loved ones, crying, so frightened and afraid in a dark night filled with the horror and tragedy of the flash flood.

I walked and walked helpless and hopeful that something could be done. I was still in tears with my struggling stride until I reached the office. My mind was wondering somewhere visualizing the struggles and cries. Inside the office, I approached few individuals with their stories of the horror of the typhoon.

My day in the office was like receiving statistics of update of dead individuals – kids, parents, old people. Until someone just broke the news of 700 dead people and more missing. I could no longer gather myself back to its normal stature. God help us. What is happening with us?

Despite my struggle, I was still able to greet my officemate Lotis on her birthday. I invited her to join me at mass together with another supervisor. While I still wanted to celebrate with her (while she herself was in grief for the losses of her stuffs and things in it), I was just helpless searching for some solace with our situation. I was searching in my heart the comfort of an invisible hand with this prayer in my heart …

”Please God rescue and comfort all the families affected. May they put their trust in you. Let them know that you are there. May yours be always a message of hope this Christmas season. May you put the souls of those who passed away in your peace. May heaven be theirs….Amen”.

I still could not grapple our current agony. I feel that I am one with them in pain. And in the fullness of God’s heart, I can feel him at work in all this. I can still feel an invisible hand lifting and comforting a grieving city of Cagayan de Oro and the entire Misamis Oriental. I still can see the oneness of our people. I can still see hope in the midst of this tragedy. We will rise. I will rise with them. My bleeding heart could not totally go into the depth of the suffering of man but I can see that this will come to pass.

When that lady in the jeepney mentioned “I have bought and stored many things in the house. And all of a sudden, when my life is at risk and my loved ones, I see more of God than these things. I prayed the hardest and stronger than the prayer I said at mass facing a priest”.

That was such a deep encounter with her God. One thing was definite. This woman may not have realized that this situation would come to her and see God in that manner.

By mid afternoon, the number of casualties was increasing. By then also we were including in our office prayers those victims of the calamities. After which I was faced by Rene, a colleague stating that he saw dead bodies at the nearby funeral home which I thought out of curiosity, I could just bring my camera and take some photos. When we got there, I felt overwhelmed by the site. Dead bodies bathed in mud aligned in front of me with many people surrounding them. It was such a painful sight.

In my mind I was asking my seemingly brave self “what really brought me there?”. I wanted to be angry with myself but I wanted so much to see them. I did not want just the second hand information. I just want to be there for them even in that “silent” gesture of mine of the big loss of these people. Our people.

We / I walked away in that site in tears. There were like miniature of bodies. Corpses. Oh my …so lifeless. I could not believe my heart was able to capture that moment, through my eyes but not my camera. My hand could not afford to "click" what I saw before me. I was just lost. And simply walked away... so lost…tsk ...tsk...

As I was back in the office, I ended my day with a conversation with Rene while we relaxed eating stick bread (hehe). We thought how life could just pass so swiftly like that. How fleeting life is so slim between life and death. But both of us landed on the hope in each of our hearts.

What makes each of us a winner in any situation related to this is that we do not lose sight of hope, thrive and still survive. To quote Rene “the heavens can still smile”…at the courage we have shown in this adversary inviting us to be one with the struggles of our brethren.

All for a day’s challenge to live and live with …with hope in our hearts…life goes on for us in Cagayan de Oro. And as I was searching for the true meaning of Christmas…this can be it…together as one with our brothers and sisters in their pain and to rise with them in the hope still burning like that of an amber ready to flame our lives and live life despite of .

There is HOPE. Christ being born into this world is the life we will see this Christmas and the new life in the next for those who passed away… They are HOME…that I could say is a gift in itself. To those grieving, this is something that may not be totally understood.

Death should not be something to be feared. It should be something to look forward to as we strive each day to live our lives faithful to our calling and put meaning to with our lives.

Our exit in this life is our entrance to the eternal life with God…J The thing is, we do not know the exact time and the circumstance of our death. But to those who lived their lives well…can smile at death knowing they have done the most in this life.

Just one day in a 24-hour can offer so much to learn. I feel that the whole city has focused itself and has seen the essential meaning of our borrowed moment in this life. A gift I should say…to cherish.

With the hope and prayer that we stay focused on Jesus this season and not dwell on the tragedy or we may sink deeper in despair of the real “flash flood” of our lost souls. A lot of dead bodies may be lost during the typhoon. Some of those may be buried and may not be found. But a lost soul is more worse than that.

Passionately Engaged

http://dang-justaboutanything.blogspot.com/

I am at the airport right now (December 11, 2011) waiting for my flight back to my place (we were not informed that we would be delayed). I thought of finding myself something to “nibble” while I wait. And so I found this wonderful piece to write…my life’s passion…:-)

A while ago, I passed by a portion of the airport that says free internet access. I thought of plunging into the net and get lost for a while. But then I also tried to check my own blog site when I realized that writing has become almost as natural as drinking water. I really, really like it. And that if there is one thing I would just like to do when I am left alone…it is to write and write and write….(…without losing site to loving my husband hehehe).

Few things to add though. It is not only writing that I find myself having fun with and is engaging in. I also do shirt design and manual screen printing. Though there are those that help me do it, I print on small orders. I also love “face painting”. What I mean is, I study how face make up is done and I do them to myself and there are few others that allowed me to do it to them (like Nancy and Amy in the pix). I like to improve my craft on this and I like the output very much.

I also do interior design. My husband felt crazy about how picky I am with colors that should be put on at home with any furniture particularly the bedroom and the receiving area. He likes the output though.

I can also sew clothes (I sew my high school uniform of with the help of my mom and some of my dresses and pajamas). I just don’t have my own sewing machine at the moment (one of my greatest dream).

Since I am good at designs and color combinations, I do that to myself too with my choices of clothes. I have lots of cheap clothes. A lot of them bought from the okay-okay (cheap second hand clothes in small and big bazaars). My skill is to renovate and re-invent them. Cheap clothes turned into something elegant and expensive to look at.

I really have eyes for something simple, elegant and relaxing to look at. My eyes just know and catch them when they are there before my eyes. And when they are not I visualize it and make it come alive by creating it. When I join parties, I check on themes and visualize myself with it. The image would always portray simplicity and elegance combined regardless of the price (they don’t have to be expensive in order to look good).

I usually minimize my expenses. I re-invent old stuffs so as not to buy anymore. For me, buying expensive stuffs for one night affair is a BIG NO BUY. I don’t go for it though some may think that it is just ones in a lifetime thing or event (in fact the other night, I told my husband that we could buy fire crackers for new year which later changed into…let’s buy gifts for kids that sing Christmas carols outside our house).

Well so much for passion…hahahah ….este here is an additional passionate activity I have… reading books, blogs, articles…with sense …about life, growth, spirituality, religion, …any life-giving piece or work of art in writing…I love to devour them.

…and to pray…the greatest passion I have that heals my soul…this one beautiful thing supplies and fuels all the things I do above and this next thing…I just want to really, really improve my craft in loving my husband ..nyahahhahhaha:-) . I am still in the process of shaping it and finding the best and most creative ways of putting that love into action:-)

God help me :-)

Creating and Re-Creating Everyday

http://partners4gospel.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/faithful1.jpg

After I wrote a blog 2 weeks after my wedding, it has now been more than 2 months since that big day. There are lots of things to share such as those moments of adjustments. This can be my moment to offer ...

Tracing the steps back ...2 months ago, we spent few days together without work and him not going back to the province. Few days together were like friendship and love combined in one nest. We had so much fun and laughter and found out some of our odd characters.

First I had to help him with bringing all his stuffs (oh so many) to our new home. When I went to his apartment, I was shocked with all the mess and thought ..."oh I am gonna be living with a man now". True enough, Mike has his own ways of thinking what might be clean and not clean (hahahhahah).

At my end, I always see a sense of urgency in terms of cleanliness. For him "it is just fine for now" but he does the cleaning, too, with me (he is my partner in this). He was adjusting with my with my odd character of not being able to sleep at night with mess all around us. Hehe.... he does help me in the cleaning and felt the comfort of the night breathing the freshest air of our home (combined with very relaxed mood).

While I ask someone to do my laundry every weekend, he does it everyday which at first made me crazy with my comments like "why are you tiring yourself doing that everyday...or you may be wasting too much laundry powder"...etc. But then I learned my lesson during weekends when I see him so relaxed with not attending with lots of dirty clothes (good thing I have someone so dedicated to do that for me but I told him the help is for both of us now:-).

Partnership is very much part of us. We agree on chores so we can relax together. There are times for sharing what has transpired during the day although at times Mike was like irritated when I was browsing the internet during dinner or breakfast time. And the new rule was made...no computer or cellphone when dining.

Mike is smart and has very logical mind. While I share emotional stories and drama of my day and I could go mesh mash and hudge pudge of everything. He can make me focus on the main content and so I would ..."oh is that what I actually said?" (although at times I would still argue on my point hahahhaha). He is such a talent in terms of summarizing my long everrrr stories.

While I go back with stories on previous days... on some things that really excited me, he can remind me "hon you have repeated that a lot of times already". But then I would insist telling him that "honey... it is just so me to share it over and over again". Fine ..and oh so fine, he does understand me...including my manner of repeating over and over again how we met, how he courted me, how we survived in the relationship and many more. But another rule is not to repeat issues that has been dealt and handled with unless we make reference to it to deal with new issues.

We do say "sorry" a lot. There were moments of silence. At my end, I allowed to make it longer sometimes but the "longer" or length is as much as 2 hours intervened by sleep at night and the morning that followed became unbearable. I made my move to say that magic "sorry". And all I can say related to this is that, I have a husband that does not need that touch of "himas" or "lambing". His is always a willing heart. And so I realized I was the one that kept it long and made it more painful for both of us from a very simple cause of argument.

And so the next rule was born...not to allow that deafening silence to occur. We just have to talk and allow each other to express how we feel over the situation. After which we can just let it pass and move on. For that we decided to really forgive. From that also, we always reap the grace from each moment...without grudge from where we came from. We just move on :-)

I highly respect my husband also. You see I have this attitude of insisting my side and a lot of times when he sees the good sense of it, he gives in. But then I have the tendency to forget to listen from his wisdom and opinions. From my husband's comments (hon, you don't always get what you want or i do have my opinions, too. I am not going to spoil you in that)...toinks.... I learned to submit.

Well Mike adjusted with me and my dog, too. He likes dogs but he finds me spoiling Tobby. While I was tolerant with my dog sleeping in the house, he did not like it that way. And so I submitted to him training my dog while I intervened from time to time. I saw how the progress of such "training" for example with feeding time. Tobby is choosy with food. But then my husband technically tries to feed him late in the morning and voila...all food eaten and my dog gained weight (wow...did not know that technique ha).

The rule to pray together is our bond every morning and night. And from where did we get such idea? Experience again (hehehhehe). There were mornings when I got used to praying alone and realized "why not pray together". And so we would have our praying together at breakfast. We say our thanksgiving about everything even for those that " have not come yet (we say our prayer holding our hands together), as if they are there already (great faith ha).

At night, when we are tempted to face our gadgets - computers and do things until 10 to 11 pm led us to realize also that prayer has been set aside and so the next rule was made...that is to pray together immediately after dinner. And so we could wash plates and clean up ...after which we could surf the net, read books or talk and talk. The point is...to pray first before doing anything or before we land in bed.

Really, there is great wisdom with how God brought a man and a woman together to live as husband and wife. It is a partnership blessed by Him. The graces that He dispensed in that sacred ceremony is a grace to bear witness and become His image to each other.

Lastly, I have lots of male friends. My husband knows that I am very friendly and so crazy with stories and laughter. I personally made my rule...hahah to continue to be friendly but tell my stories and my special and most intimate stories only to my husband before my writings or anyone else.

While I laugh and laugh with male and female friends, I always remind myself that any concerns and challenges of my married life are kept sacred in the four corners of our little rented nook discussed, dealt and celebrated with my beautiful husband, my lover and best friend.

So grateful to God for such a wonderful gift of a man :-) with hop and hop and shouts for joy. Amen:-)

My Search for the True Spirit of the Season

http://media.photobucket.com/image/christmas/JuleeSanImages/Christmas.jpg?o=7

At lunch today, I mentioned to two friends that I wanted this month of December (2011) to be different than the previous years. The previous Decembers were spent in the busy-ness of the Christmas holiday doing shopping for clothes, food, parties, reunions, dates...etc. Just last week, I and my husband thought of starting to decorate the house. We thought of buying our Christmas tree and other decors. But then, we kind of lost the motivation. We were more engaged with reading our favorite books than going out to buy those stuffs.

But then, as I looked around I saw houses beautifully decorated including my sister's. Last Sunday also, there were features at Rated K (a TV program that I love to watch during the weekends) that accounted on decors and Christmas trees so lavishly decorated with the grandest and shows of varied shades and colors. One Christmas tree even had money hanged on it (great woooowww) of different currencies throughout the world.

I was also in the mall today doing some work related stuffs. I saw people busy doing shopping. I saw winter-like decors. White color to represent peace and serenity of Christmas. Wow...beautiful isn't it? While St. Ignatius shared on seeing God in all things. This time, I would like to simply excuse myself from the mall to see more. Since while I am able to scan these views before my eyes, I am more like searching for something beyond these things.

To continue my conversation with my two friends, I simply uttered, " I just want to stop buying things I don't need this month or perhaps not do the previous years buying spree for myself. " I just want to stop buying for myself...that's all and see what would unfold before me and inside me.

I guess I wanted the real "miracle" of Christmas. When I heard the homily of a priest last first Friday stating in a way that Christmas is so commercialized and that we are feeding all the businessmen throughout the world...who are trying to move us away from the true essence and spirit ...I was so struck by it...trying to search in my heart that true Spirit of the season.

I have joined Christmas parties in the past and the present. Rarely did it acknowledge the Man behind Christmas celebration. I pray that all Christmas celebrations would start with this statement "There would not have been a Christmas party without Christ born into this world...so can we all start this celebration by singing a happy birthday song to Jesus the Christ, the Man behind the conception of this season". Wow, this should have been the ...first and foremost thing, isn't it.

Well, I guess I would have a wonderful discussion with my husband this weekend on this. I just would want to share with him what I was able to find out prior to the writing of this blog. I could invite him for both of us to do the search together...in order to find the true spirit of the season. I now feel that we would have a wonderful time together on this:-)

You could join us and be Joyfully Hopeful this season of Advent:-) Let us do some "real shopping" for this season. A real shopping of all the graces that God is willing to dispense from our simplicity, generosity, humility, courage to proclaim the truth of the season, re-build our families...anything other than material things...anything that would move us away from things that empty the heart and lead us far away from the gift of a child born into this word.

Perhaps you can share with me what you will be able to find out for yourself and for your family.

May Christ lead us all to finding the true Spirit of the season. May His grace give us the courage to invite others to do the same ...Amen:-)

My Journey with Mike ... A Journey of Hope - First Piece

http://www.weddingmantras.com/2009/02/11/9-marriage-proposal-mistakes/

First and foremost, I was not the regular gal that underwent the process of marriage proposal from a man. It was such a natural thing for us to talk about anything and everything including the plan to get married. So there was no kneeling on the floor of a man bringing that small case for the ring and proposed for marriage to a lady. Or there was no ring placed on top of a cake or sank and buried in a bucket ...este tall slender pretty glass of chocolate ice cream.

We had that long almost 12 years process of friendship, courtship, "in" the relationship, discussed about being engaged and then kept on postponing it until the heaven blew its horns with the shout of "it's too much...both of you are just too afraid to get into your ...."heavenly" vows before God"...toinks everyone seemed to be angry at me and my man.

A lot of people have asked me and my husband the question "how come almost 12 years?". Yup, how come? Time seemed to have drifted and passed so fast and we reached the length of such process. Wow. Shall i boast of that?

We may seemed to have been sleeping soundly for this length in time but no...no...no...hahhaha. Here was how it went...

Mike and I were classmates in one of our minor subjects in college (Humanities). I was taking up BS Psychology while he took two courses AB Philosophy and International Studies. He was my crush and fortunately the brother of my very dear friend Luisa. I was struggling when we were classmates and so I informed my sister that i would transfer to another section due to fear that my feeling be divulged through my very transparent eyes.

But then, my sister won. I remained in my section and continued my agony delivering my class reports. Graduation ball was nearing. I was asked to host it (with a partner of course). And so I thought I could care less about having a partner since I have my emceeing "job" to do. Wonderful and beautiful escape. But then luisa volunteered mike to be my partner. My heart leaped and did some summersault. Yepeey...but of course I presented a hesitant look with some expressions of "what if i would make him feel left out...what ifs...on and on ...". But my friend won. She told Mike and got a positive response from him.

Mike's mom was very supportive. She asked an uncle of his to teach us ballroom dancing. Of course we cooperated. We both had trembling and stiff hands as if the first time to be held by someone from the opposite sex. But we did great together.

The night during the ball was such a night to remember. You see doing my task to host was fun and I was more conscious of Mike's eyes than anybody's in the audience. I showed off my best effort and I simply danced gracefully with him. With all the memories of photo shoots, I went home not being able to grab that sound sleep for the night. I kept recalling the overwhelming experience of the ball that ran for days. Until I realized I could no longer contain the feeling.

Mike extended another year in college while I started working in a school as teacher and counselor for a year. The first quarter of that year i dropped my first clue to Mike by sending him a card through the help of my two male friends in college. They chose the card for me to send to Mike (oh my...).

Mike found a way to visit me in school. After that, it went on and on joining me at masses. Until he expressed his intentions. Of course I said my yes...But I already said my silent yes prior to that.

The first five years were like years when i finished graduate studies and him slowly engaging and finishing law school. We tried to buy a book entitled Becoming Soulmates with guide questions to answer every after article. That was our guide in the getting-to know- each- other stage. I was also trying to do some search-ins with some congregations which made Mike a little distant from me thinking that I might end up in the convent.

But soon enough I made my decision. I was the most confused between the two of us. I was restless. I wanted many things. I wanted to travel or go out of the country. I wanted to bring Mike with me someday but most of the time it was just me.

Mike and I are both very assertive. We liked (until now hehehe) to talk about so many things. But one day, he just asked me to stay after my trip from US. I simply obeyed and plunged into spiritual direction to be guided and directed for life ahead. I really thought I would not settle for marriage due to my restlessness. And I realize I have such wonderful...beautiful man whom I love so much and loves me back.

My journey with Mike is such a hard and strong pounding on a solid foundation. I could not stop seeing such beauty of a God that brought us together. One day in the past I just told Mike..."you are my home"... from where I started to seriously consider lifetime commitment with him so as I could one day finally go home with him...in our future home...:-)

PS:-) How we prepared for the wedding...will soon follow:-)