Just My Time To Relax

(…after celebrating my birthday this 2013… Praise God…amen)

My daughter is now asleep.  She is so asleep that I am able to enjoy my moment.  I started turning on the television and placed one of those old movies entitled Notting Hill starred by Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant in the DVD player.  I prepared my coffee, ate some dinner and just allowed myself to be while watching the film.  I admit it is so relaxing.  This is just one of those mom’s joyful silent moment.  I call it a real good opportunity and time to be just with myself.

The movie I am watching has been played over and over again in the past so I need not have that really deep thinking to analyze it.  So I tried to hop in  my computer  to encode this article. 

So what has been with me lately.  I just celebrated my 39^th birthday 2 days ago.  Something that I did not expect to really have guests in the house.  You see the last Christmas and new year’s holidays made me so busy hopping from my “mommy responsibilities” to my baby girl to being a wife to being a student plus dealtwith some concerns with my part-time / consultancy job.  I just sort of did some exhibitions with everything.  But by God’s grace I am able to do that. 

I just love this time to relax with myself and relaxing can mean doing what I love doing also that is writing.  Oh I miss so much doing this.  I miss so much jotting just anything on my computer screen.  But then,  I admit I am doing everyday other than writing the most wonderful “jobs” of a mother.  That is nurturing a baby.  Oh I love so much …more than anything in this whole world being able to love and affect in anyway I can through my baby (hehe oops other than my husband:-)).

So I think of this moment as a gift for a mom.  I just felt that when I placed my daughter on the bed I realized how I could have the rest of the time to pick up.  What are those that I would want to pick up?  A lot such as :

1.     Decide and choose to have the time for myself.

Perhaps those moments that I was so drained and tired was giving me the message already to keep in touch with myself. And I did not have that time to seriously consider  the “fancy” that I could be able to give with myself if I just allow that special time with myself ( hahahhaha now I am beginning to realize I have been stating this same thought over and over again in this article geezzz).

2.     Eat the right kinds of food

Lately I just allow myself to eat whatever there is on the fridge or whatever available food we have to cook.  I have been plunging into eating a lot of meat lately.  Though I feel trimmed physically already but it has been a concern for me when I got constipated after I delivered my baby.  So I thought eating more fibrous food and digesting or chewing my food well would greatly help and to really be more conscious with the eating the right kinds of food.

3.    My 39^th Birthday

An old friend of mine asked me once if age is an issue for me.  What he meant was that if I am comfortable when I am asked about how  old I am.  I told him that I don’t have any problem with it.  But as I age, I felt otherwise.  I seem to be uncomfortable  when asked about age.  So to help myself deal with it, I feel that writing and divulging it through my blog site.  This I feel at this time also would greatly help me deal with my sort of “insecurity”.  Another way of dealing with it is to tell myself that “age is God’s grace… age reminds me of God’s gift…my life…being alive for 39 long years”.  That is so beautiful isn’t it?  So for me being uncomfortable with it is being uncomfortable with the ONE giving it.  A denial of the generosity of God:-)...ouch...

4.     My Faith

 I was told the other day that the theme for this year – 2013 is the year of Faith.   This is an armor that I need to put on and be my shield for this year.  This is the grace that I was allowed to feel last January 1, 2013.  This is now my  guiding principle as I continue through this year.  Faith in Someone known that is God.  Faith in Him that something unknown for me may take shape and happen.  Faith that something beautiful can happen for those that simply – Believe.

5.     Self confidence

A lot of times in the past, I had an ego –based confidence.  What do I mean by that? Ego-based is mainly based on the self.  This type of confidence is self-reliant and does not acknowledge Someone higher than the self.  The self anchored on God is  courageous such that even in the midst of the many challenges and acknowledging the feeling of fear yet feels that God is the strong shield.   This is what true self-confidence is.  And in triumph one embraces humility acknowledging that God is his / her source of victory.

Truly this time for myself is one of the best moments I have.  This is just  my moment to sort of re-shine myself.  Thank you God. 

I Call Him "KUYA LANDO"

What I see in this photo is a "POWER OF PRAYER":-) couldn't say more:-)

  

Let me put this writing now.  I just feel that NOW is THE TIME to release this.  You see I happen to meet a man, a servant of God that has influenced and inspired me in my youth to serve God.  I promised him a year or 2 years ago to write about him from where he sent me his overwhelming resume este written lengthy biography that he submitted in one of his projects during his studies in the United States.  I started framing and summarizing everything only to end up with a computer that bogged down and what followed next was I lost everything (sorry kuya lan...peace wheheh).  I was so frustrated at first but then I just feel that I will write something as natural as recalling how he was to me when I started in my faith journey towards finding a God that has so blessed me in so many ways.

His name is Rolando Mesias. Those younger than him call him “Kuya Lando”.  He founded a Catholic Charismatic Youth Group named THE SOWERS FIELD COMMUNITY (together with a group of other young men and women back then) in 1985 at the Cathedral in Cagayan de Oro City Philippines.  Since he founded the community, he never had any employment experience (despite his desire to really join the work force) such that he focused all his energies in giving spiritual formation to many  young college students and professionals from where I was one of its fruits. 

Years have passed and this Catholic Christian Community grew in terms of memberships.  The same bore fruits of many religious vocations.  Priests and religious nuns  have grown in number through the years.  It has also formed many brothers and sisters that have gotten married and have lived good Christian lives making their families as examples to wherever they are. 

Years have passed also when “kuya Lando’s” faithfulness in his service to God was blessed with his much awaited employment as manager of a cooperative.  This same experience brought him out of the country through a scholarship at Ford Foundation.  Before he got that scholarship he got married also to a wonderful woman named Rizalee Tubac  and were blessed with three children (all boys).  Though he’s not anymore directly involved as head servant of the community since he is currently working as a General Manager to another big cooperative in Davao City, Philippines, he still maintains true and faithful to his commitment through his skills in facilitating discussions via online particularly the Facebook page of the Sowers Field Community from where I found him very active and so alive. 

Currently, our Catholic Charismatic Christian community, the Sowers Field may have struggled in so many ways yet, it is still sustained by God’s Spirit through the effort  of many committed brothers and sisters that have worked so hard for it to continue in its service to young people, professionals, married couples and their children.

If there is someone that I would want to thank God in my formation as His young servant it is this man whom I call Kuya Lando.  His dedication and him being God’s instrument in the formation of many young individuals.  It was from him that I felt being entrusted to deliver God’s message through the community’s teaching team.  It was from him that I felt appreciated for the talent that I have in writing when he asked me to post my blogs at Facebook.  He was one of those that  motivated me to continue writing positive messages.  And…I couldn’t thank him enough for his motivation and his indirect shepherding in my Catholic faith and journey with God.

Thus, I feel that Kuya LANDO has inspired so many individuals – brothers and sisters in the community to continue serving God.  Such is a BEAUTIFUL LEGACY  that this one man has contributed to us who up to this time has thrived in God’s service in so many different forms and ways.  THANK YOU SO MUCH KUYA LANDO:-) MAY YOU CONTINUE TO PROSPER IN YOUR ENDEAVORS:-) GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY …ALWAYS:-)

PS…

-          There was not a single leader in the community (sorry to say that) has driven me to maximize and exhaust my energy in God’s service in my youth other than him.  Even with his temper (wahahahah, he has his way of really motivating us to really serve God:-)…truly he has my honor and respect as a TRUE LEADER)

-          Even as I finished my writing, I feel that I have not thanked Kuya Lando enough yet I feel God has blessed him so much and beyond measure…:-)care off ko na lang kay God …whehehhhe…that’s my prayer for him and his entire family:-)

-          Kuya Lando told me ones in the past that he will write his biography… hmmm …I feel that it would be more complete than my writing.

Some Tips in Sticking with Your New Year's Resolution

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/15299/new-years-resolutions-what-tribune-bloggers-hope-to-do/

Have you experienced trying to state your new year's resolution only to end up failing?  What follows next is the guilt that you are not able to live up to it.  And say perhaps I could start again next year.  But then another year starts and you follow the same vicious cycle of failing.  And so you say "I'd rather not make any promise at all".  You get discouraged and fall in the pit until there is no more coming out...ouch...  

Tips...this is what this blog is all about...

1.  State What You Want to Resolve

Do not be afraid to state what you want to resolve about yourself.   Go ahead just create that list.  It does not matter the length.  Just simply and as lucid as you can give it a free hand writing...just write without even thinking what others would think and feel about them.

2.  State time to do them 

Stating the particular time or date that you would do them would greatly help.  That would mean having the time frame for implementations.  

3.  Do it

Ooops... I almost forgot this part.  Simply do it.  You have to or nothing happens with your plans or what you want to resolve.

4.  Evaluate

Check, assess, look back if you are able to do what you stated or met the time frame, deadline (however you call it).  In this manner you are able to see if you are really true to what you wrote or if you are able to commit with what you stated from the very beginning.

5.  Pray

Our acknowledgement that we are not alone and the realization of our weakness should bring us down our knees and pray.  I remember in one of those desolate moments I had, I came across this line in one of the vehicles "Prayer changes it all".

Please note that life is not a black and white thing.  Same as with the things that you want to resolve with yourself.  Some attempts may not reap the positive result you so desire.  Well you don't punish yourself for that.  Meaning...do not be so rigid so that when you fail you immediately judge yourself a failure.  We do learn from mistakes.  it has always been my inspiration looking back with that monk priest (Fr. Savio...if I am not mistaken of the Benedictine Monastery in Malaybalay City - Bukidnon) that I heard in one of his homilies that stated "there is no such thing as mistakes in life...only lessons to be learned".  We fall, we learn, we rise...over and over again.

Another thing that we should see in this process is that ...we are NOT ALONE.  This should be our constant reminder.  Man's effort alone can be futile.  We are weak by flesh and in a lot of ways.  They say "the spirit is willing but the body is weak".  That is why we need SOMEONE higher than us and is over and above human nature that has surpassed human struggles and sufferings.  We need God to accompany us in our journey.  Christ has won the battle of human weakness through the cross.  Thus, who can best accompany us except that ONE MAN that has surpassed it all.

Lastly...do you really, really want to deal with yourself through your list of new year's resolution?  Again, I would like to highlight this ....PRAYER...Just get down on your knees and pray...This is not something antique that I am telling you.  This one is the greatest hope that brings real and true joy we are looking for this new year...

GOD BLESS US ALL...HAPPY NEW YEAR:-)

New Year's Resolution...Do I Believe in This?

http://calconews.com/2012/12/27/happy-new-year-pictures-images-and-wallpapers-2013/

New year's resolution...do I believe in this?  Hmmm let me discuss further before I will tell you my answer...  I have run through several individuals on television stating their new year's resolution or what they would want to change for the coming year.  They were something that would resolve the self from what that they missed to do for the previous year/s.  This is something so beautiful for anyone to do.  What better way to start a year by "cleaning up" our life's clutters.

So... I need not discuss be so strenuous with my discussion...I do believe in it.  But...I would want it better to make it a daily resolve.  You know why?  

Let me give you an illustration.  I live with my husband 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 12 months in a year.  There were lots of strains in between.  Living in the same house and waiting for the end of the year to change, reconcile or resolve for the better would be something more stressful for me.  I have lots of things to attend with in the house and outside.  Everything entails focus.  I am the type of person that can hardly focus if there are concerns and issues that are not resolved.  They bother me and the worst part of it is that it hits up to the heart level.  I can't live with that.  I can't live a life faking what I truly feel.

Really I taught myself several times not  to allow the heart to feel them so that I could just try to let it pass, fake that the person or persons do not exist, pass by them, work and just do things and just let the day pass.  But they are not really me.  They are not the "Dang" I know inside.  What I know about myself is that I am totally transparent and honest with my feelings (Please don't get me wrong...to be honest does not mean for me that I can just shout at any person that i get angry with because of that honesty...search for my blog on Emotional Intelligence in this site:-) ).  It does help for me to immediately attend with how I feel such that I am able to talk with for example my husband and tell him about what I honestly feel.  There was never a time that they were not expressed.  That is how it is between us.  

That is why starting the year 2013 does not have to pressure me with having the New Year's Resolution since every single day is like ... a New Year.  That is what Christianity  taught me.  And I should say...anyone of us that excitedly waited and celebrated ...Christmas...may start considering ...living daily with that the same resolve... 

Christ...Christmas...Christians...Do they ring anything...this New Year?

Happy New Year of 2013...Cheers...Toast...God bless us all:-)

Christmas 2012 and the New Year of 2013 - Creating Our Family "Belen"

Celebrating the year 2012 Christmas and the new year of 2013 has been so different.  It was like a dream come true or shall I say a prayer that has been said for a long time and has become fulfilled and answered.  Looking at a family Christmas and New Year photos moved me deeply realizing that God has been faithful to His promise.  

Christmas 2012

New Year 2013

Really I have been single for a long time.  I never even thought that I would get married after having recurring fear of commitment and the "unknown".  Taking that big leap was like a suicide.  Knowing my personality that has become accustomed to doing the usuals of my life and my own "comfort zone" would take Divine intervention to be able to shift that mentality.

I could only assign it to a mentality level since I knew my heart at certain points in my single life journey was already certain yet I still allowed myself to be consumed several times.  God just needed to send someone to give me that hard push from the mountaintop down to that rocky, dark hill down.  Thanks be to God for that.  He may have declared in the heavens with His big bang voice "ENOUGH"...   hahah perhaps with that every angel in the heavens marched down on earth to secure that path for me so that God's plan would be realized.

And that's it, I got married last year from where I could still recall telling my husband immediately after the wedding (after hearing that big shout from a toddler in the neighborhood) "I hope and pray we will have our baby next Christmas...:-)"  Hmmmmm God waited for that statement and ...the heavens opened...angels marched with their might swords bringing that good news ..."

Thank you dear God...our little Belen has been formed through our little Maria Mikaela that joined us last July and now our "Jesus" last Christmas bringing that joy and hope for the coming years...

PRAISE THE LORD:-)  HALLELUIA:-)

IN THE GUISE OF BEING NEUTRAL

http://withoutwalls-fandc.blogspot.com/2012/01/temperature-of-spit.html

 

One very smart public school principal in one of my classes in the graduate school mentioned the latest program that is now being implemented in the public school that sort of again shocked me.  The new program says the school has to maintain being neutral such that students should AVOID MENTIONING GOD.  Praying is no longer encouraged so as no to put any bias to any religion.  Since he is a principal I do understand that regardless of his belief, he is submitting to the mandate as instructed to them - the leaders of the school in one of those school principal's conferences. 

That statement produced flooded comments from our classmates.  One of those that captured my attention was from a priest that says "we are putting ourselves on a dangerous ground acting and doing what US has instructed its own public schools.  The Philippines has slowly become  an image of the western culture".

What would become of us?  In the guise of neutrality, we are fooling ourselves to catch the dictate of a group of lawmakers from outside of our country that are themselves not believer in our God.  So they feel that it is so easy for them to make us swallow some of their laws that they are implementing in their own country.  Again in the guise of being neutral, they want God to be out of the picture.  

I mentioned in class that perhaps we have missed to understand what being neutral really meant.  As a teacher myself I do understand that being neutral could mean facilitating.  Facilitating could mean allowing each student to speak up and let out their hearts including what they believe in.  I even mentioned that in one of my religion classes that I taught years back, I asked one Muslim student to lead a prayer while I asked all the other students to join in the prayer thinking of their own God. 

A teacher in its effort to be neutral should facilitate but never impose or suppress including for example religion or the exercise of one's faith.  As a country also, we do believe in the deepest recesses of our hearts that we cannot stop mentioning God nor deny the existence of a God.  Children in school come from families that believe in a God.  There is a strong history and tradition of faith that our country has gone through in the past.  And even if we try to impose on our teachers not to mention God still we know in our hearts that there is a God.

I don't want to meddle further with what the United States system of education has.  Let alone the US reflect on that.  But even the rootedness of the values that we want our children to emulate through the Values Education subject that we integrate in our program HAS ITS SOURCE in the GOD that the new public school program would want to AVOID MENTIONING...:-( 

I do hope and pray that there will be a re-view on this....God save the Philippines

Maria Mikaela's Beautiful Surprises

Let me start my December blog with a sharing about my favorite daughter (hehehe don’t get me wrong I only have one child…a baby girl…and that’s how I jokingly call her lately).  You see she thrills, excites and surprises me in so many ways.

1.     Weight and height

Being premature was something that I did not expect of her.  But then she really soared so much in height, shape and weight making her level of with those that are exactly of her age (4.5 months…she is supposed to be 3 month old if she was born full term).  I can see that she is taller than a baby neighbour that is 5 month old.

 

2.     Focus

I was so amazed at how much she could focus with anything.  The moment I observed almost 2 months ago that she could see already,  I saw her  growing curiosity with anything including her undivided eye contact once she gets to be captured by any house guest’s eyes including mine and my husband’s. I learned though that babies get to be captured with black, white and red colors so I try to give her the opportunities of having those  in her midst.

And oh you would be amazed at her listening ability ( I tell you not to underestimate babies capacity to do that).  One time when I and my husband was into some heavy discussion over something in front of our daughter, we both stopped  when we realized that  her two tiny eyes has traveled between me and my husband listening as if she understood what we were talking about.  From then on, we decided to hold our heavy discussions out from our daughter’s sight (oh sorry for that Mikaela:-))

3.     Giggles and laughter

From both her waking moments and sleep I could say that she is a happy baby(displays random smiles and giggles). Despite some brief tantrums when there is a strong bout between hunger and sleepiness, generally she has a very happy disposition.  She giggles when you tickle her, laughs a lot and is so easy to entertain.  Oh I love so much to hear her doing that over and over again.

4.     Started to talk through her baby “language”

I like so much talking to Mikaela since she joined us last August 25 from her almost one month of incubation period in the hospital.  It’s like…whatever I touch  in front of her, I tell her about it.  I did not mind at all if she did not understand them. I just wanted to tell her.  And it has become like that since then. 

And  when she started to see, I had so much fun since I could see how she reacted to what I was telling her  even sometimes with some blank look in her eyes.  And just three nights ago, she surprised me with her rather “long discussions” using her baby  language called “mumbling” something as if explaining to me whatever she had in mind. 

And oh I just acted as if I understood what she meant by responding “oh really…that is so beautiful mikaela… you can tell mommy more about it…I am listening”…and she continued to discuss things.  There were those random short moments of mumbling.  But that one was the longest and with that little drama in my heart, I was moved to tears.

5.     Patience

One day I just placed Mikaela on the couch on top of a U-shaped pillow while I fixed some mess on our dining table.  It took me almost 30 minutes to finish what I did including the washing of plates and some sweeping of the floor.  I was checking her of course from time to time from where I saw she was just observing what I did  together with her flashes of cute smiles. 

That was not all.  One time I knew that she was already hungry and she was observing me preparing for her milk while she just placed both hands on her tummy looking at me waiting patiently.  Truly I was so moved by that.  But I was more touched and moved when some relatives – in laws came to have dinner in our home and was joining us later at the bedroom.  Our daughter was just there on bed observing everyone with flashes of her giggles.  I then left her for awhile while I tried to bid goodbye to our guests.  When I came back she was all eyes at the door giving me that “I am waiting mommy” look. 

I was so moved again by that which really prompted me to hurry in preparing  myself so that I could stay beside her for the most awaited breastfeeding moment where she dozed off to sleep like a snap of my fingers.  I then told and asked my husband how MIkaela our daughter has gotten so much of that patience to generally wait for her “turn”.  That is something so beautiful for a baby. 

Hehe please don’t get me wrong.  She has her episodes of crying, too.  Like when wakes up too hungry and realize …perhaps ( per observation) that she is still too sleepy.  Her tantrums though comes in sometimes and when she is being hugged or cuddled she dozes off in my arms (Oh so beautiful tiny creature in my arms). 

Really and truly she puts me to lots of tears as she surprises me in a lot of ways and I thought and wonder why I married late ( hahahha which I shared to my husband).  Having lots of children can be very challenging and yet so beautiful and so rewarding.  That’s why I envy so much one photoshoot we had with Mikaela’s cousins made me and my husband think that having many children is truly a blessing and God’s beautiful gift to a family.  

 Well, we are now a family even with just our one favourite daughter ( only child hahaha).  Any additional child is God’s beautiful gift to us …a small …growing family:=). 

And this first Christmas together as a family…God just gave us in advance His truest promise of a new life through our daughter…God’s greatest and beautiful surprise gift this season of Advent...

Advance Merry Christmas everyone …Let us continue to be Joyfully Hopeful in this wonderful season of the year…J Amen…