The Unexpected Shift - from a High School Teacher ..to a College Instructor

My discussion with a group of mechanical engineering students

Today, I feel the hunger of writing...of going back to what i love dearly...writing...writing...and writing.  I was consumed for work lately.  I just transferred work last month, June 2015 - from a high school teacher in a public school to a Psychology Instructor in a state university.  I admit I had so much to adjust with from work distance from where I live,  new work load, the bulk of readings to do from where I need to review more, prepare notes, powerpoint presentations, checking of papers, etc.

I feel though so blessed, as I did not really expect that fast transition.  I felt my silence from my previous workplace.  I finished post graduate studies with a festive celebration within my family but not really in my previous workplace.  I just embraced silence in the waiting mode as to what and where my new career would bring me.  When a dear friend last summer poured out her heart when she felt the weight and pain at not being acknowledged for a particular position, I felt the same possibility at my end (though that was the least I had in mind as I was thinking of family first after the very busy final years in the graduate school). The thought of shifting to another job did not really occur until she opened up the idea with me.  

I really hesitated at first.  I felt at first just to embrace silence, contentment and to simply be at peace.  To go home to a family is more than enough already for me.  Yet the possibility of shifting to the tertiary level was just my way of journeying with her.  My submission of that application (though I already submitted twice to the same university almost 3 years ago), was only a gesture of "just being with a friend".  But when I received a txt message two weeks after  that I was considered for hiring, I was more than shocked.  

I went to the state university still with the idea that I was going to undergo the interview process.  Little did I know that it was really and truly for hiring already.  The next scene was, I was facing a group of Vice presidents, deans and the human resource head of the university sharing their excitement of joining them as a full time employee, the opportunity of studying abroad and being assigned to a position in the university and the excitement of being engaged in the culture of research ( as mentioned by the prestigious leaders of the university in front of me that time) were overwhelming.  Furthermore, I no longer underwent the interview, teaching demonstration or the exam process.  I had them years back (except the teaching demo which I never had) so I thought they carried all my scores in the past.  

It was  mixed feelings after that.  There was that challenge to immediately tender my resignation or submit letter for transfer the following day which shocked my former colleagues.   I was given a teaching load immediately in the university, had to comply with the requirements for employment while I immediately had to hold classes the following week..  I was given the employee ID and had the biometrics for the log in and out of employees...and so many things which truly consumed my energy. 

Oh, I was just so glad that the subject that I am teaching (Applied Psychology) is like reviewing only things that I have studied (of course hehehe) and some of the topics I already facilitated in training/ workshops.

Truly, I like what I am doing right now.  I may be adjusting with the transfer / long walks from one building to the other but I take so much pleasure being part of the life of my students (or vice versa...hmmm hoping they appreciate my presence in their lives).

Well...long way to go for the new college instructor who is trying to make a difference ..again ...where she is..

Thank you dear God...for the unexpected shift...:-)

FALL IN LOVE

Attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ -
photo from http://www.usfca.edu/templates/usf_magazine_story_fall_2007.aspx?id=6442494549&tid=2147483673

Nothing is more practical than

finding God, than

falling in Love

in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,

what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.

It will decide

what will get you out of bed in the morning,

what you do with your evenings,

how you spend your weekends,

what you read, whom you know,

what breaks your heart,

and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in Love, stay in love,

and it will decide everything.

A Stress Management...Through A Changed Perspective - Gratefulness and Trusting God More...:-)

I have been running over and over again in my mind writing this article.  I take pride with the capacity to multi task over my husband who does things one at a time.  

Let me start by sharing with you an experience related to this.  I got sick one time with "vertigo".  My world seemed to turn upside down and I could not just get up to prepare for the meals so it was Mike who prepared for us.  Almost an hour after and feeling so hungry, I tried to lift my whole body bracing myself holding the walls for support just to check what he was up to in the kitchen. And oh my, he was seating waiting for the rice to get done after which he would do the soup.  And I was so hungry that I could no longer hold myself from being angry.  He just liked doing a thing at a time.  That's my husband.

With my woman power of multi tasking, I have tried and repeated over and over again about it to him.  Well, i tried to give him the example of it when one pre Christmas food preparation, I stretched my arms in the kitchen to do everything at the same time.  There were 4 stove plates on a gas range. I filled all of them and refill the empty plate with another one until in 2 to 3 hours everything's done.  I had my goal and met the deadline but I was so dead tired after that, that I declared to hear Christmas mass in the morning (not the midnight or earlier mass) since my body could no longer contain or sustain staying up late.

I can see that my husband keeps his pace without being dictated or pushed by my "go go get it" style.  He keeps his pace.  Takes a thing at a time and I am learning a lot from that.  He admitted to me also his weakness that he may not be able to do it with urgent matters at home that's why I thought of taking over in the kitchen when there is a need to do that especially when all of us are hungry already and we need to finish the soonest time.  Or my woman instinct would tell that things have to be done fast to meet an emergency situation.

But many times I am learning from his style of doing a thing at a time.  The latest stress management workshop that I facilitated to a group of employees in a particular company led me also to do my in depth study about managing stress.  

One statement that struck me in my research is "Stress makes you believe that everything has to happen right now.  Faith reassures you that everything will happen in God's timing". I am deeply moved by this statement as I made it the theme of such workshop.  

My own multi tasking "prowess" put me on a higher risk of  health break down. In a video that I watched, it stressed that stress is being perceived by the mind. And if there is something that we need to change it is how we perceive things. Stressors are just triggers.   Oh, I find it a challenge to change how I perceive or interpret things.  And perceiving stressors on a positive way greatly helps even as far as healing pains and illnesses.

The most striking part was when I came across Bo Sanchez article stating that "angry people die sooner".  And, those who are susceptible to heart disease are the type A personality, according to him (people who are aggressive, easily angered, competitive, controlling, and always rushing).  What a great shock that is.  That part led me to deliberately reshape my thoughts and the anger that I have been harboring for quite some time and from recent incidents that have emotionally affected me and to really...slow down...hahhahah.

He further stated that our diseases are messages such as there might be someone that we need to forgive or simply let go of that anger.  Perhaps we need to stop working and trust God more or to stop working so hard and relax with our family.

He also stressed that there are two reasons why we get sick : too much negative emotions and too little positive emotions.  Though he stated the specifics of each but still positive emotions have to be maintained.  

How do we have those positive emotions?  We need to be grateful each day and to simply trust God.  He stated that trust in God is the greatest "stress buster" in the world.  Great woooowww. 

Let me close this with a sharing from again the writing of Bo Sanchez on a particular Jesuit priest by the name of Fr. Georges-Etienne Beauregard (97 years old at the time of his writing).  His secret was "I have no problems. Others have problems with me, but I have no problems.”

Hmmm....It is a matter of attitude...a changed perspective at that ...by being grateful and trusting God more:-) 

How is that?

"DO IT ANYWAY"

The verses below reportedly were written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her. 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

A Special Blend of "Tantrum" Therapy - What We Learned As Parents

https://secure.istockphoto.com/

Let me share with you the experience that I and my husband struggled with our daughter last December of 2014.  Well, yes, December...the time of the year that is supposed to be so joyful, fun and enjoyable yet, earlier part of it, I felt the trauma of going home and listening to our daughter's outburst, wailing, crying ...hmmmm, yes tantrum...Tantrum is an emotional outburst by children expressing some desperation over something which a lot of times we parents do not understand.

I was not really prepared by that.  It started with one dawn time when she woke up and refused being breastfed. I felt that time that the convenience of putting her back to sleep immediately when she woke up at dawn time ended that time.

I was not used to that.  We all get a very good sleep every night and that time was like a big shock to me and my husband.  Just like going back to the first few months when we brought her home from the hospital after the incubation period.  

So how did we deal with that wailing given our neophyte skills?

Firstly, we tried to check any possible physical discomfort that may have triggered such tantrum such as providing her with milk, changed diaper, checked body  temperature, or possible discomfort in the stomach yet it did not alleviate a bit.  She just went on with her crying.

Secondly, we maneuvered our way so that I and my husband could exchange every hour carrying our daughter.  After 2 to 3 hours we felt we could not go on like that. We thought and imagined if it would happen every night, will drain our energy. We should not be sick.  We have to be well for our daughter.

I and my husband felt helpless by that.  We even thought that perhaps we did something wrong which may have triggered such.

Thirdly, from the feeling of helplessness and desperation we decided to pray together.  Well, that one went well by her joining us during the prayer time. Yet we sensed her tiredness and wanting to go back to sleep but just can't do that. She seemed to be needing us to put her in our arms. Which again may bring us back to the second strategy.

So the last move led us to a more drastic and painful decision to let her be.  We decided to leave her inside the room alone.  We were not worried at all since she's an expert with climbing up and down the bed.  The only thing  was to clear the bed to allow her to just express whatever energy she had that led her to that tantrum.  

She was just crying and crying.  I felt the pain of just allowing her to do that. Sometimes I would cry with her outside of the room.  My husband may not have shown those tears but I saw from the look in his eyes the remorse for our daughter.

Then it dawned on me to play some religious songs while she was inside the room.  I downloaded lots of it including the 15 myteries of the rosary and the entire chaplet of the Divine mercy prayer in song.  So if she wakes up again at dawn, these music are played which for two weeks has become her "tantrum" treatment... It has become my daughter's therapy to listen to these collection of songs and prayers combined.

To this day, my daughter is so rare with tantrum.  Her mood has gotten back to become lighter and back with giggling and even humming with the songs except for some minor discomfort.  

And now I call it our unique and special way of treating tantrum with our daughter which really worked....a blend of religious songs and prayer for her:-) 

What did we learn from that as parents?  Our daughter being the only one we've got, has gotten all the attention from us.  She has taken the fancy of it all.  The supposed comfort of being breastfed which she resisted and demanded more of our attention by being carried in our arms may be a comfort for her but not to us her parents at dawn time.  

The reality dawned on us also.  We cannot provide all the time the attention she needs.  Reality would tell us that in life, there can be time for doing other things to keep our life as a family in balance.  Such reality may be,  that any of us parent may be out of the house to work, or do something else at home while our children will learn to do things by themselves.  We were able to learn the hard way such that we had to make our daughter unlearn from too much attachment for her to be able to find herself more.  

I felt that as early as her age, she has to slowly learn the reality that her parents cannot be there all the time for her.  From that, we also unlearn as parents that part when we have to let her go and let her be.

Well, aside from the therapy of relaxation and unlearning of attachment from us on the part of our daughter, she has learned to spend more time with books which amused her so much up to this day.  Other than that, she is now learning to sleep by herself without our assistance.  Though at times she sleeps at any part of the bed but there were times also that she would sleep where she should be which sends the message that she is slowly learning to identify her space in the room.

That for us as parents is an accomplishment for which we thank God for.

For My Students...I am Their Plain...Friend, Comic Teacher:-)...and a Lot More:-)

with my very creative Science Class students from the Grade 8

Looking back, I stopped with post graduate studies for 5 years thinking I could not see myself in such direction.  There were lots of uncertainties and lack of meaning to what I did.  But when I engaged in public service, I thought of finding more meaning everytime I see the eyes of my students who were so hungry of learning - the concepts and stories that I shared with them which ignited me to very creative displaying my comic face, funny voice, stretched arms...."action stories" which cause my students to giggle, laugh, etc.  To them, I am their "comic " teacher.  To them, I am just their plain, simple, funny teacher.

When I told them before the school year (2014-2015) ended that I will be graduating soon, one innocently blurted " you have not finished college ma'am".  I just laughed at it and told them that I was into another higher course.  And the class' fun continued...

the best card design

I like to be known to them as a teacher without those other "flowers", with that my students will be at home with me. I feel the same to them, too.

As I teacher, I have varied ways of presenting and facilitating learning in class such as discussion of concepts, hands-on activities where they create crafts, do some group presentation such as drama, business proposals for those who prefer putting up their business over simply becoming an employee and multiple intelligence type activities.

after the Business proposal presentations of the Grade 7 

But the most fun, fun, time we had was when they had to read their love letters to their parents, friends or special someone where they are allowed to express themselves to their crushes or boyfriend at that (if they have).  The reading for parents was very dramatic,  I witnessed several of them shed tears for their love and gratefulness for their parents or when they have not seen them for a long time and were longing to have them back or the pain at not being taken cared of.  Well they went really wild when they read letters to their special girl or gentlemen in their lives.

At my end, I feel so much for them.  You see, I find them like my own children who would expect so much from their own mother. AT my end I don't want to fail providing them as far as I could to satisfy that hunger for learning.  Even to that extent when I use myself just to animate them in class... And find it meaningful and really fun...:-)

The Most Awaited Bonding Time With Mikaela:-)I

I was so excited when summer vacation (2015) began for it meant more time with family - bonding with my daughter and of course my husband. But I and my husband know that we need to make time and expose more our daughter.  I felt so short with that.  So I thought  of spending more time with the following :

1.  Heart to heart talks 

I have noticed that Mikaela can only speak few words.  I was in panic at first about it.  In my desperation, I researched on premature's ability to speak from where I learned that 30 percent or less speak late but does not really mean inferior intelligence.  So we had to double our effort with it.  I and my husband spent a great deal of time talking with her and discuss anything we see even during watching television time.  She positively responded with it.  At my end, I speak to her like she is one of the adults in the family.  I express how I feel and deeply look into her eyes.   

Truly intelligence is not a concern.  She is so smart with responding to instructions like getting things and giving it to me, turning "on" the switch, climbing up and down the bed as early as 1 year old, shaking hands, or "mano po",  her sensitivity with estimating possibility of falling, sensing emotion with tones of voices (I saw how she responded through her eyes) or putting her hands together during prayer time with giggles in between ( she knows full well that it's prayer time). 

2.  Socialize and Connect with Other kids

Since summer vacation started, I swore to bring my daughter out of the house everyday either for the regular walking or to just socialize with friends.  Now, she is enjoying playing with the neighbor kids running around or walking holding hands with them. It melts my heart seeing her value friendship at 2 years old and appreciating friends and giggling with them.  

Lately, these same friends  looked for her in the morning or afternoon checking if she's awake so they could play.  Then I would hurry to prepare her but I would not wake her up if she is so sound asleep.  So we will just have to do our regular walking without her group of friends but with her dad.

3.  Engage her with other activities 

There are other activities that we engage her such as allowing her to spend time to watch her learning videos - ABCD, music, art etc, explore her books where she points some letters and say them, throw and catch a beach ball (we prefer the softer one for her), dancing together as a family ( hmm Mikaela made my serious husband dance several times already), praying and going to Church together (the usual one), doing grocery together and allow her to explore the vast store running around, scribble the white board with a pen just to allow her to imagine and sketch and so many more.  

I have a very assertive girl.  One time when I tried to hold her pen and point it a certain direction, she held my hand and pushed it aside sending the message to let her be. There were times already that she insisted on her own that we realized to just have to give her that space.  

The other day, was one of the best bonding moments we had  when we just laid in bed and snuggled each other while talking about anything.  It then surprised me when she lifted her daddy's and my hand and put them together while she stayed in between us giggling.  And the best of all was when she held my face and looked straight at my eyes  while she devoured her milk.

Isn't amazing?  

The Challenge of Finishing Post Graduate Studies.....

with the Fr. R. Yap, President of XU,  husband Michael, sister Gay and the Registrar...
thanks to Denis B. Dizon for this wonderfully taken photo

When I decided to go back to school after what was once thought of as  "barren years" outside of the academe, I felt the God's hands putting back some broken pieces out of me.  I felt the direction slowly taking its shape until I was employed as a public school teacher.

Truly i had to juggle graduate school, work, being a wife and mother to my daughter.  More so when at some points we did not have anyone to assist us in the house.  I thought at times why I had to go on with my post graduate studies.  I got sick at times but still  I felt God inspiring me even more.  When I was in the middle of my dissertation, I felt God's generosity through a financing from Xavier University where I  realized He just wanted me to get through it.   

A lot of times, I felt I have physically "beaten" and stretched myself beyond limit.  There were times when I felt numbness.  When thinking was no longer possible.  When inside of me I felt like a crying child so hungry to just be assured and cuddled. I kept on saying sorry to myself. The ultimate physical breakdown came when I had anxiety attack and I felt I had shortness of breath and that I fear dozing off to sleep for I might not wake up the following day. Ohh that one I prayed hard not to happen.  

My dear husband was there all throughout. But I craved for more...prayer...to go back and strengthen my love relationship with God.  And indeed it was a "love affair" in the midst of that so very busy stage in my academic life.  I graduated by God's provisions of material blessings and mercy.  I finished post graduate studies seeing His "unlimited presence" in varied forms.  I could not ask for more...:-) except to thank My God:-)

PS...and when I get home...I felt that I was just "nobody" except a wife to my very supportive husband and mother to a very refreshingly innocent  little girl...our new naughty playmate in the house ...Maria Mikaela.:-)

Sending the True Message of Getting Higher Education

I remember writing years back about the desire of finishing higher studies.  The motivation was just to finish what I started but it later deepened into something more meaningful and connected to a mission.  It came to that point when someone expressed her fears after my final paper defense that I might change and become "unreachable".  

From that statement I thought of something else to reframe myself and refocus to the the very essence why one pursues higher studies.  From the purpose of simply getting it done, I thought of this line "the purpose of getting into higher education is to become a much better person in everything...a much better character more than anything...anything contrary to that opposes its true essence from where education may have defeated to penetrate in the person."

So that friend of mine may not worry at all or fear at finding the worst (hmmmm heheh)...that I could promise. I remember my older sister told me after my final defense that I should be grateful that we were raised by humble and prayerful parents more than anything.  So true.  That statement was like indirectly reminding me to stay grounded.  

Prayer:  Thank you dear God for journeying with me and making me get into this level to affect that positive influence...I am continuing your beautiful legacy ...your mission...Amen.

My 41st Birthday

I never made any announcement nor remind anyone about my birthday.  I just simply wanted to feel what it would be like when anything about my person will not be really given attention to or focused on. At first I felt strange.  Yet, I guess i wanted to tame myself more and be away from "limelight".  The grace to be silent and insignificant was what I remember I asked from God before my birthday.

My family members knew about it already so I never made any extra effort for that. And of course they remember me ...always.  And a friend priest - Fr. Roger Gabac, SSJV sent his private message at facebook.  

Before I loved so much the attention.  Sssshhh wait... I still like it now but not really giving it much attention so that I would forget simplicity and "insignificance".  

I appreciate so much "silence".  It gives me more time to forming and reforming how I was shaped by my ego from the previous years.  I loved being acknowledged with my achievements.  Yet, I love it even better when others will not give me importance or treat me kindly because of my achievements.  I know that well in my heart.  

Now for my birthday -  January 8, 2015,  I woke up with the feeling that it was special for me whispering prayers of thanksgiving before God and prepared breakfast. When my husband woke up, he gave me the warmest hug and kiss (hmmm I love it so much being wrapped in his arms).

He wanted us to have a dinner date with our daughter but I suggested that we will just buy food and have it at home shared with my neighbor's sister's family.  When I arrived at school, nobody knew about it so I kept my silence and went ahead with preparing and teaching my students (  I always have fun with my students).

At lunch time, I had a date at mass with the Lord.  That was the highlight of my day, celebrating it in prayer to God with glitters of thanksgiving.  Hmmm now the question is "did ask for a gift?".  I did.  I told Him about it the day before my birthday.  Another question..."do I have enough faith to believe that He will grant it?".  Hmmmm that is one of the most difficult part.  I need God's grace to strengthen my faith so that I will just simply believe and let go.  Hmmm my last question..."what if what I asked for is not really for me?"....My answer..."It will never stop my friendship with God:-)"

The night simply ended with the regular walking with my daughter and husband.  I love the sound of my daughter's giggles when she's brought out of the house. ( I was just worried when we realized that my daughter was no longer wearing one shoe and we had to look for it before we went back to our house.)  The excitement with just being us...rather the excitement of having both of them is the greatest birthday gift of all. 

Thank you God.  Thank you God for another year of my life.  Thank you God for your generosity, for your blessings, abundance, patience ....hmmm etcetera hehehehe.  I love you sooooo much...:-) ...Hmmm i get that ...you made me feel that first...:-0

  

Teach Yourself Humility

Let me share with you first a story of a boy who aspired to join a football team in school.  He joined a try out several times over to no avail. When he reached high school,  a coach gave him a chance on a reserve, always sitting on the bench while the rest of team went in and out of the field for the game. He never complained about his situation. Instead, he focused on harnessing his skill on the field joining practices.

Well, at your end you might as well suggest for him to give up on his dream.  Yet and still...again and again he never missed to join the practices. When he reached college, still he was taken in by the football coach but on the same position, that is a bench player.  

On the last year of his college life, his father died during the time when their team was  playing the championship game over the weekend.  His coach allowed him to go home for the funeral yet was just shocked to see him coming back so soon willing and eager to join his team for the game.  

In the middle of the game, 3 players were already injured.  There was an urgent need for replacement such that his coach was forced to allow him to get in.  And soon enough and with all his might, he raced through the field, running like the best player that has ever stepped on the field. The audience went wild.  His teammates were stunned as they saw him run, glide and managed to get through barriers until he shot the ball at the goal.

His coach approached him at one corner after the game so silent and asked about his silence with praises with what he displayed during the game.  And he said that he did it for his father that will only get to see him for the first time play since all the while he was blind when he was alive and his death may mean that he could see him play..

My point is ...humility.  The very player that was suspected to have not possessed the skill to be able to compete and play has become the best player ever that brought the win for the team during the championship game.

Humility from experience would invite us to keep and practice the following :

1. Silence

Being humble would entail a lot of silence. Like that of the football player that never complained about not being given yet the chance to get into the field. He waited in silence.  He waited for his time.

There are situations when we will be challenged to practice humility.  I remember when I was asked to give a talk to  a group of counselors in a region.  I was seated beside someone I know who was complaining about the factsheets prepared by the speaker.  All the while that she was so vocal about this,  she did not know that I was the one assigned for that talk.  I just simply commented " I will just discuss further each point".  So she realized that I was the next speaker.  I will not discuss further how she looked at me when I started my discussion.   

Silence entails a lot of listening.  It means more than excitedly blurting out complains or responses to people like what I did.   It would entail waiting for the right time to speak or the right time to be allowed to play, or waiting for the right opportunity for promotions,  etc. ....Silence entails a lot of waiting...for another person in your life to see the truth, to realize, to grow ... 

It also means being like a "Sponge".  When you silence yourself  you  absorb a lot such as feedback from others (positive or not). Learning and wisdom come easily to those who are willing to learn in silence and be like that of a sponge.

2. Acceptance

We desire so many things such as getting some brand new stuffs, a house and lot, latest brand of car, clothes, shoes, gadgets like cellphone, television, etc. and we feel frustrated at times when we don't get them.  Or when situations are not the way we want them.... You want to know what would happen if we fail to accept? We get discouraged or frustrated.  Some would lose the motivation to move on.    It will become a personal issue.  And when it becomes that, we would become bitter at not having the things we want so much. 

But, for a humble person, acceptance is a delight. It means letting go and move on.  It means looking at what you've got to thank for.  It means settling down and delighting with what life is offering him at the moment.  It means embracing life, being joyful while he is hopeful for so many wonderful things ...blessings to come in his life.  It means respecting God's will while staying faithful with what has to be done.  It means leaving them in the hands of God and the wisdom behind why things have to happen without even knowing why at the moment.  Acceptance according to Dr. Wayne Dyer means "YOU DO NOTHING".

3. Prayer

Prayer is the most wasted part of us being human.  At my end, I see it as an opportunity to submit...a real opportunity to be humble.  In fact prayer is an act of humility.  A person that prays is a person that embraces Someone higher than himself.  It means presenting myself and consulting  that Someone,- God himself in everything. 

It is difficult for a proud person to be silent, be like a sponge, accept and pray.  One can get into trouble easily especially when he or she is in front of proud people for they may get into proving and disproving each other.  But when he is with the humble ones, he is safe except that he may realize later that he or she may need to straighten or polish himself a bit.  

You see...prayer is the most important part.  You know why?  Silence and acceptance are its fruits.  Ultimately, if we want to learn humility we start with stretching our arms before God...kneel down ...and pray... so you can just waste your time...with God...in prayer...He loves company...and he loves the humbles ones.

What do you think?  Can you relate with it? 

My Heart's "True North" This Christmas of 2014

the Christmas mass - December 25, 2014

I was so dead busy for the past months.  And when Christmas was approaching, I was questioning God several times what it truly means.  As I wake up each morning and browse the television, I felt the excitement with songs sang, programs and news trying to inform how busy people are with shopping and where to best buy things - cheap, affordable, durable, colorful, etc.  Even children's excitement are soaring.

One time as I went to the mall to buy for some fancy clothes to wear for the party at work, I was observing everyone so engaged and indulged with shopping.  Decorations and songs played were all about Christmas.  In that instant, I thought, I would feel the same excitement, yet emptiness crept in. I felt not comfortable with it.

I left the mall not being able to buy something.  I resolved not to be fancy at the party.  I focused more on dealing with that feeling which led me to pray harder.  I was desiring for something different this Christmas of 2014.  I desire so much for the non material ones -  simplicity, love, peace, joy, humility, generosity. And  I invited my husband to spend more time to pray with me for our daughter and others.

I wanted so much also for that prayer to come alive.  So when I received some financial blessings at work and from small investment that I and my husband started, we decided to give more to my sick father, pack some simple candy goodies for the kids in the neighborhood and give a cake to a family in the neighborhood.

Furthermore, with my daily character training in giving, I also tried to add some tip to some individuals that helped me out in my research in my post graduate studies.  A lot of times I made some of them so surprised or I would rather say, amazed with what I did but that was just it...that was just my way of thanking God's people that have generously extended themselves in service, too.

I could enumerate more in here, but let me stop by saying that God's grace led me to realize His generosity in my life that I could not resist giving back.  My Christmas has found its true north in the simplest and in silence deliberately resisting materialism and grand celebrations so that it may demand most of my time away from my family. 

The Christmas night, I just prepared a simple dinner and decided to go out walking at night with my daughter and husband and send that cake to Mikaela' breast milk donor named Marsha when my daughter  was yet inside the incubator at the hospital.  I then put my daughter to bed early so that we could hear mass the following day - December 25 (ohhh that's today...this morning).

My journey this Christmas this year of 2014 has not ended.  In fact, it is continuous and daily engraving of character that Jesus himself has shared during his birthday - the Christmas day...with the strong resolve to share the graces of His birth all the days of my life...to everyone:-) 

God bless you all..May you find the truth of Christmas...May we all find God Himself  our true north this Christmas...THE TRUE REASON WHY THERE IS CHRISTMAS...:-)

Three Reasons Why We Are Ungrateful

I heard mass last Sunday with my family.  We got in late but it did not matter at all since I was presented with a package of message from a young priest that gave us a well prepared homily.  He presented Three Reasons Why We Are Ungrateful.   I would like to share my reflections in here as i found it to be so true in our journey.

1.  Ordinariness

Each day can be treated only like it was yesterday.  An ordinary day that is.  You wake up yesterday, eat your food, bathe, change clothes, go to work, etc.  Nothing is new.  Just the ordinary day.  You come home, children come home too.  You eat together at dinner table while watch the television that is turned on to entertain the family.  And you go to sleep with your family.  Oops, you forgot to pray and thank God that you received your paycheck today, your children came home safe from school.  Or your husband or wife gave you such wonderful time at dinner and you breathed your life today.  But then you did not see the blessings and the silent and subtle outpouring during the day.  Just the ordinary day.

2.  Envy

Envy means a feeling of discontenment or resenful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities or luck (google.com).  You want so much what others' have.  You resent and ask why they have it while you don't have such an opportunity.  The priests in that homily stated that "we sometimes spend sleepless nights thinking about the accomplishment and success of the other due to envy".  And yes... you forget how blessed you are with what you have and your accomplishments

3.  Self-Entitlement

Self-entitlement means that what you worked hard for through the years...your success and accomplishments are your own efforts and that you deserve where you are right now. Your went through life's difficulties trying to hurdle your student life without much financial support and became a working student. Yes your thoughts that your titles, accomplishments,wins, promotions, etc. were your own effort.  There was no sense of Someone helping you out get through them.  Or you might have asked God for help but since you were overwhelmed so you connect or attach success with your own hard work.  it is like an mentality that says, "I have the right...I deserve such privileges"...There was no God to thank for.  

Being contented is a gift.  A contented person is a grateful person.  A grateful person is humble enough to realize that everything that he has is given... They are gifts and gifts are meant to be given away and bless others and the world.  

Gratefulness is what we hold dear as a family.  As we gather in the morning when we wake up to pray and at night time before going to bed, we thank God for everything.  I feel that being grateful enlarges our person and will lead us to embracing humility.  Even and despite the struggle to be humble, it is comforting to know that I as a person is aware that I feel at times encroached by my own ego and selfish desires and motives.  Yet, I thank God even more for the grace to see this shortcoming so that I could do something about them.  

The last time that I gave a talk I shared how grateful and blessed I am and my family through the years.  So blessed that I could never resist giving in all sorts.  

May God's Name be Praised...Amen