I heard mass this lunch time (Feb. 22, 2011). The priest dealt with the issue on feedbacking. He stressed on leaders' fear to receive feedback. Leaders remain on top and accomplish their responsibilities without considering being given feedback from their subordinates.
As a neophyte leader, i thought the same to myself. I resisted opportunities that would pave to feedbacking. Meetings were simply getting things done activities. Until such time when i realized I have detached myself from my team by the defenses that i have built around me so as to protect myself from the pain of being honestly assessed by my team members.
Ironically, i have been facilitating Feedback giving and Receiving to varied groups already including my training team in the company. Participants were prepared for the actual activity through the following tips :
A. Tips to giving feedback
1. Start and end with positive
2. Clarify your motivations before feedbacking
3. Use "I" statement
4. describe the situation, behavior and effects (person, others and tasks at
hand)
5. give example where possible
6. be descriptive not evaluative
7. consider the amount of information
8. where feedback is negative, suggest alternatives
9. feedback on things that can be changed
10. Prayer before and after feedbacking
B. Receiving Feedback
1. Listen to feedback
2. Assume the feedback is constructive
3. Pause and think before responding
4. Ask to repeat if you haven't heard clearly
5. Ask for clarifications or example
6. Accept positive and negative feedback for consideration (rather than
dismissing them to protect oneself)
7. Ask for suggestions how you could modify your behavior
8. Respect and thank the person giving the feedback
Going back to the priest, i know he meant it well and clear to everyone that listened to his homily...pointing to the leaders' humility to accept whatever there is to deal with as a leaders.
Leaders speak the loudest message of examples. High expectations are set and subordinates would see it immediately when leaders do as they talk.
The closing part of my workshop related to this stressed on the fact that we want to appear clean and so we want to project the same to others. Whatever that which appears contrary to what we project, we resist even if these information would bring growth, self improvement, development, prosperity, success (anything related to the moving forward of a leader).
Feedback "can be as sharp as a razor blade and may penetrate as far as the bones but as the saying goes "what hurts us, won't kill us".
Well...i am still alive...i received dozes of feedback from both skilled and unskilled ones (I tell you, they hurt badly). Again...I am still alive ...but growing in all aspects. I continue to thank God for the grace and may the same grace be felt by all our leaders...Amen.
Posted by Te Vilma at SFC yahoogroup :
ReplyDeleteHi ‘la! I’ve been reflecting about this when I read it few days ago. In my own experience this has made me grow in a way that because of criticism I got from the people around me I was able to know myself better and find ways to improve it. It’s just sad to know that there are a lot of people even in our community who still could not accept things when they hear something which they don’t like. Isn’t it a time for reflection wherein we have to think of why a person commented something about us? I agree so much about the saying “what hurts us, won’t kill us.” If we are only positive enough it’s a way of helping us. As what I learned during my college days," it’s her/his opinion and you cannot do anything about it but respect it." Because even if you kill the person it wouldn’t change the fact that he/she has said it! Hehe…sori po, niabot nata sa killing! Bitaw la, tsada kaau imo gipaambit nga mga tips! Thanks for sharing! Hehehe… God bless!