GOD BROUGHT ME THESE GREAT INDIVIDUALS…TO “MARKET” HIS MESSAGES

More than a year ago I felt like I underwent a journey of reawakening through the help of a Jesuit priest in the person of Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ. First and foremost, I would like to especially honor this beautiful man of God for bringing me closer to my heart, my calling and my God during those series of sessions of "grilling".

Divinely inspired, Fr. Frank pushed me to write…to blog... to be specific from where I resisted and reasoned out that I wanted to keep my life private, away from the "limelight" (char lang). That was always my drama of resistance. But of course I was not forced to do what I am doing right now. Yet slowly (by His grace), I got out into the daylight little by little and opened my blog site without my spiritual director's (SD) knowledge (at first).

One day, then, I finally had the courage to tell him that I started one already. From there, he reiterated a previous invitation to open a Facebook account. Which again, I resisted because (again hahahha) for the reason that I wanted privacy. Such was the drama I faced with my ego’s bout and defense not to be known.

Unknown to me also, some of my batchmates tried to track me at the same social site but to no avail. Later on my own cousin -batchmate Jack Demata "cornered" (sorry for the term) me in a chat room and an old childhood and high school friend Zuthchiin Vallecera (really i felt like God would want to jail me already for running away so many times ...away from what He wanted me to do).

Added to that, I was also being led by a former head servant of a Catholic Christian Community ( Sowers Field Community) Rolando "Kuya Lando" Mesias to post my blogs at Facebook to cater to a wider audience. And so the idea to open an account was taken seriously for the purpose of sending the messages of my blog site.

But, I did not give up with the idea on privacy (hahahhahaha so stubborn me). The process with my spiritual director, Fr. Frank made me confront "generosity". Since I was following a program for the formation of the lay through a live-out 19^th annotation retreat., generosity, as one of its topics of grounding the self led me far into the biggest issue that God wanted me to face. Generosity not only with material things but self-giving through the wisdom that He gave me during my formation.

My formation with Fr. Frank led me to leap higher and deeper in generosity that no longer hides the self in darkness. I had to come out in broad daylight regardless of what people say.

I was not a writer in grade school, high school nor in college. I was just an "onlooker" admiring great writers in my classess including my favorite authors that have written from the heart like Bo Sanchez, Dr. Wayne Dyer and many more. I was just me, plain, crazy and simple, associating with simple folks in school maintaining an identity unnoticed by many (trying so hard hahahahah).

Even up to now, I write in crooked lines which many times I don’t mind at all. But I do edit as much as I can after my raw blog being posted with my some oohhs and ahhhs. A lot of times too, I leave them as is creating that path of acceptance of my own imperfections. I just like it at this time in my life to shed off whatever is left and I could catch to combat my ego and to keep it from bloating (harharhar). I keep my heart silent after each piece to submit to a process and “language” deeper than man’s rules of writing. Well you should have seen me writing my title over and over again from beginning, middle and at the end ( so that’s what you call your great writer ha ..hehehhehe) before I finally publish it.

Lastly, If up to this point my facebook account is still alive, it is for such purpose and for these wonderful individuals – Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ, Jack Demata, Zuthchiin Vallecera and Rolando Mesias ("kuya" Lando) to whom gratitude and honor I give through this writing including those individuals that have read my blogs and have continually inspired and encouraged me to keep on writing .

This blog piece will not close without including the comment of the following person who identified himself/herself as ORDEP and whose comment was posted in my blog entitled ALL IN A DAY – December 2011 (this comment "brought me down on my knees" in tears and in humble acceptance of my "mission"...to continue writing)... :

Dang, are you not aware that you were given a task, in silence, to tell this story to us? This is a humbling act, which would compliment the grief and hatred. I like the way you relay the event, though painful in reality, but compassionate and encouraging. You turned the tide from pain to mercy, discouragement to hope and down - up and move on ... GOD has given you the strength to post this message to those people in distress. Thank you so much! "ORDEP"

THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL OF YOU:-)