TRUE SPIRIT

I thought of those Christmases when i was a kid. I was highly anticipating many things such as mama's cooking (as in super lots of food plus my visits to neighbors hahahhaha namasko), caroling, Christmas parties, new clothes, gifts from classmates, and the ones a year gift pack given to kids by the neighborhood organization - a brown paper bag full of goodies such as candies, toys, paper ball, plastic balloon.

I also lit some firecrackers with my friends and the "watosee"...(oops i don't know the spelling but it is a red slender thing that when you light at one end, travels at flip and then gone).

As years advanced, i saw how my expectations of the coming of Christmas dwindled. So many realities have come forth before my eyes that my excitement became the regular day to day feeling that is ...wala lang...minsan numb...:-(

I am now looking into the real and true spirit of Christmas. Though i like so much receiving gifts and imagining that i could fill up my table with all sorts of food. But then i am seeing that i have more than enough for myself. I could try filling up someone's table (not necessarily mine:-)). Perhaps giving brings in the true spirit that i have been anticipating. Perhaps i could see Him through the eyes that don't have enough on the table. Not really perhaps... but i believe in my heart...i would see and feel HIM through them.

WINGLESS ANGELS

Last night someone called me an "Angel" to the rescue on behalf of a priest that did not show up hahahhahahah to lead the opening prayer of a program and prayer before meal:-)... That was like unexpected comment. The dominant feeling was not being worthy to be called as such. As i checked myself, I believe anyone can be an angel in disguise...Anybody can be used by God to represent Him in any situation. His representative, His messenger when any of His people needs Him. Who else but...us?

But more than anything...people are seeing me and BEYOND ME...seeing that i can do God's work and so they come for anything - do counseling for a member of the family or do counseling for them, do some introduction of a production number, write eulogy for someone that died...as in super dooper hahhahahaha (my sister was shocked when i told her this)...

They also flock for comments and assurance with how they look or the style of clothing or write a personality development program for them. And the most heartwarming of all that i had was when in some acquaintances, strangers, colleagues, or old friends open and pour out their hearts (in buckets of tears most of the time). They simply trust me. And ohhhh i feel the need to take care of them. They come because they feel that i can be trusted and more than anything they see God in me....grabe talaga na pressure ...damang dama ko yon...(dapat talaga ipagpapatuloy ang pagpapakabait hahahhahaha).

Some of them asked about my professional fee...i could not utter anything simply because i already got used to helping anyone in need that i don't really know if i could attach any fee for anything i do as a favor for others that need my help ...in anyway i can.

Anyhow, the fee can be discussed though for some special services like trainings or perhaps i could engage in a professional counseling practice in the future hahahhahahaha (now toying the brilliant idea) but not with some small favors to friends ...and there are lots of them... I guess then that being called an angel by some individuals is appropriate.

And so everyday can be a planting of small seeds of hope for others... we can do this together...we can be God's Wingless Angels...:-)

Hahay...Hunger...

Hunger is a desire to be filled in particularly with food. But hunger can mean a desire to fill up the ego. In my not so remote past, i wanted to excel to get the attention of my family. When is started working, I wanted to be noticed. But when a certain post to lead was given to me, I said no. You know why? I was one big critique to particular leaders. And so i was afraid that when i lead, i would experience the same (whahahhahahahh walay klaro noh?)

At first i don't really understand why i see a lot of bouts among leaders (almost everyone of them wants the spot on top :-) ew) and when a new ones comes out and up, the older ones are threatened (why man oi? don't they know that new ones may bring in something new that may help or refresh leadership practice?).

Actually, i was a victim myself by a threatened leader and i thought of shunning it off and not giving in to such insecurity. I have a choice as to how i would respond to the situation. I could still choose to improve myself and enjoy my beautiful moments and opportunity to lead:-). The thing is, the more i hide, work and be invisible, the more i get noticed (chuvaness hahahahha). Do I have a problem with that? At first i did. Now no more. I just have to get the job done and put in as much love as i can...

work...work...love..love... ( sa tinuod lang ga labad ako ulo sa ila oi...hahay...but pasagdan ko na lang...mas maayo i ampo ang mga katugulangan hahahahhaha)

To close this, i would like to post this qoute : "...their hunger increases as their humanity fades away". This one i don't like a bit :-(

Competitions vs Personal Growth and Joy

http://hopeforyourfamily.com/2010/01/26/tug-of-war/
Someone told me last week "you are a strong competitor to them". I was like "ouch"...what happened? I mean to some of these people. Actually, someone from the previous workplace happened to utter those words and we were both laughing at it.

For the past years, i strove not to give in to competitions but pushed myself to improve my crafts and the person that i am. Sometimes i feel threatened when i see some strong personalities or someone displaying great skills, capacities and the potential to become someone in the organization. But the more i focused on them, the more i forgot about my capacities and improving myself. I was never happy with that later. I get to loose my balance if i give in to competitions.

Though i focus on improving myself, i still strive to detach from myself and ego so that i would experience the joy of it all...:-)

Emotions and EQ

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/200908/regulating-your-emotions

Through the years, i have experienced the ups and downs of emotions. And so when i came across a topic in my post graduate studies entitled Emotional Intelligence, i dove and browsed through the book, reported it in class, researched more on the topic and made a beautiful craft of Human relations skills training workshop applying its concepts.

Emotional Intelligence is presented by Goleman in one of his definitions based on Aristotle's statement as “the rare skill to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way”. It is such a rare skill since, i rarely find such kind of person (or perhaps at one point i may be able to do such and in another instance i loose the balance). I humbly admit the the difficulty i went through in dealing with myself and my emotions.


This one definition puts my nerves and temper to one of life's greatest tests (i had lots of battles with emotions for the past years...at present ...i am learning to befriend them heheheh). Emotions shift from time to time. I would like to share in this article the 5 domains that may help anyone that may have undergone such a terrible time with handling emotions and point to some outside factors or causes to blame than "looking" within and manage oneself.

The five domains by Goleman are as follows:

1. Self-awareness
For Goleman, self-awareness is being able to identify and name the emotion. Not being able to do this, ownership is not possible. This also includes being able to evenly hover or neutrally observe the emotions as they occur and to at least point to a particular trigger or cause.

2. Managing Emotion

Managing emotions call for the initial skill of self-awareness before one is able to manage it. Moreover, managing emotion is an art. One's uniqueness puts him / her in the spot of managing emotional encounters according to one's personality. Some would like to divert with sports, go to some solitary plight such as the beach or exclusive places such as retreat house. Some would prefer staying in the private confines of a bedroom. Others would prefer reading books, finishing a chore in the house, window shopping (or shopping kung may pera hahhahah), watch comedy movies, etc. But the best so far i had to divert, yet focus is prayer ( i like to linger in front of the blessed sacrament even without saying anything...). After which, i feel a great release of my soul from the entangles and attachments with anger and many other overwhelming feelings that i experienced.

3. Motivating Oneself
Despite the emotional upheavals, one is able to push through with the day. This part says that one is able to stay positive with life and keep oneself on track despite and inspite of.

4. Empathy

The popular statement that says "being able to put oneself in the shoes of another" is best translated also as pakiramdam in Filipino. Being able to sense others feelings is built on self- awareness. As one is able to sense oneself and be aware of the movement of feelings within, manage it, and life life despite of, one becomes more sensitive how others feel through facial expression, sound of voice or body language. Research says that 90% of our emotions are unexpressed and so they leave us figuring how others would feel that may lead to misinterpretations. The greatest and powerful communicator of nonverbals are our eyes. They are the windows of the soul. One may be able to insist on certain facts about oneself through words but the eyes reveal those unexpressed and those that cannot be defined by words (i'd say ...much stronger than all thunders combined hahahahhaha....based on experience po hahahhah).

5. Social Skills

The higher one is able to handle the first four domains of emotional intelligence, the more he / she becomes successful in relating with others. Who would like to be with a highly volatile personality except the one that is able to handle himself successfully in terms of emotions.

Since 2005, i facilitated a workshop applying the above concepts (to teachers, school administrators, guidance counselors in the province, graduate school students, seminarians, Church workers and recently the corporate world...and many other groups in the past)and taken from other sources also for they held me captive since the participants were greatly hit and entirely captured by it (actually their positive feedback motivated me to continue facilitating this topic). Though concepts of Goleman were used, the activities were originally designed so that they may illustrate how a participant should go about each domain for self explorations and exercises.

Recently, in my Human Resource practice, i thought i could shift to other ways of dealing with human relations concerns, yet my heart brings me back to integrate EQ and still get similar and strong responses from participants.

It has been five years since I started using the concepts in my trainings and i cant find any reason of stopping except to continue and enhance it ...The thing is, i have not yet mastered myself yet, and so i just can't call any halt. I and my future participants will work hand in hand in improving ourselves. I and them are still a work in progress:-)

The Unique DANG

When you’re just like everybody else, you’ve nothing to offer other than your conformity. - Dr. Wayne Dyer...

The statement above by Dr. Dyer led me to this writing that says... The unique child inside Glenda named dang has a lot to offer. She just sank in self pity as she was always compared with her siblings when she was a kid. Surprises of all, she began to come out during those years in college when she had all the strength to pursue what she wanted like taking up Psychology, moved up to masters, dressed up unlike the others (swift and mild style that spoke of grace), pursued singing (not really careered heheh) in college, danced so well, started to design modules and gave talks in her Catholic Christian community and many more...

As she slowly came out from herself, she just became so vibrant with life...she likes to laugh and giggle. She is soo funny and so spontaneous with jokes. She likes to animate. And she has her unique way of praying such as visualizing Jesus and the Father (heaven is visualized as a playground and where she can simply hop on the Father's huge bed or sleep at His feet or threw stones at the heavens or bite her angel's wings...chillax folks...imagination lang:-)).

Though she likes to talk, she likes to listen, too. She cries when she feels like or when listening with sad stories shared by anyone (actually when she is both happy and sad...she cries heheh odd ha).

And i tell you she feels a lot and has strong intuition with how others feel. She is so sensitive and can read feelings written on the face (that's why she can easily respond when she sees pain...in the eyes of anyone).

She can fashion and refashion different encounters. She can calm down an angry soul...simply because she listens and accepts without question. And, she is so crazy in love and humbly embraces the need to learn more in this aspect.

Oh so wonderful creature....Beautiful Dang. She is simply splendid, marvelous, awesome...And now she found more of herself through writing, designing and continues to explore her capacities. And instead of pursuing the world's fashion...she found passion...to serve in everything she does.

I would want to declare that I LOVE DANG AND I THANK GOD FOR CREATING HER...HOW WONDERFUL HE IS THAT CREATED HER...I CELEBRATE WITH THE UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL...INSIDE...GLENDA:-) AMEN!!!

P.S. GOD must be soooo BEAUTIFUL... Dang is just a glimpse of HIS BEAUTY...OMG hehhe as in Oh My God!!!!!! can i contain Him when i see Him one day?

"CARIDAD"...LIKES LABELS

I simply toy with one of those past events when i was yet in the academe and my work led me to some public schools to present ourselves to top graduating classes inviting them to take our scholarship exams. In one public school, i had such an encounter with a principal that simply gave me an idea how attaching so much with "ego" may bring such havoc to relating (hahahahhahah i hope i am not too harsh in this) and bring bad light to our image in its truest sense.

To continue, we went inside the principal's office and introduced ourselves. We were expecting that at least the principal would deal with us "properly"... with proper introductions (i guess heheh) but it made us ask if we could get her complete name for our documentation as we go back to our school. Since she opted to stay composed and keep her reserved state (to mildly put it hehe), she simply pointed to that label on top of the table that said "Caridad Baltazar, Ph.D." (not her real name...just the title hehe). And so i felt like jumping, blurting the line "Oh you are Dr. Caridad Baltazar" (i almost added Ph.D. after Baltazar hahahhahahha to pamper her ego and as in super doooper Dr. and Ph.D... my English teachers could kill me...joke lang hehehehe).

I was simply blown away by the strongest "air" that passed us. It left us (ni Faith, a friend and former colleague), looking at each others' eyes in silence ...actually MU kami ...mutual understanding ...and super dooper tawa ...to the max).


In my lifetime, i met lots of "Caridads". I got to be like them too at times. Like, I preferred being called as ma'am or madam than dang or my real name. Perhaps too, if i had just finished my Ph.D., i would prefer being called the title of Caridad hehehheeheh.

Truly, I liked (with emphasis on the past tense hahahha) being called by titles, it threw certain color and smell in the air allowing others to see and smell me too. With that i felt getting their respect. I liked also decorating myself with good and power dressed clothes when i go to work. (Aside from the fact that they are proper attire for work:-) They give me the sense of respect and they initially covered up my insecurities.

But just that encounter with Caridad shifted my heart and mentality to 180 degrees. It made me ask "is there a much better way of getting respect than what this lady is doing?". Again, I was simply blown away and realized her approach is NOT the "one" i should be doing.

On the other hand, it amazes me how other countries like the United States' professionals call each other by first names. I thought when I got to listen how they did it to each other, "if this thing works out in this country...it is possible at mine".

The latter, strongly supported the previous that made me really like being called by my name. And it sounds so good. This time when others mention my name, it reminds me of my openness to anyone that comes or join my life's "crazy and passionate" quests (hahahhaha). It reminds me of unity than division - professional or non prof alike, rich or poor, Christians or not, etc.

Titles or positions should not define us. They are just trappings and labels. What is the difference anyway, between me and the beggar i happen to pass by everyday. Perhaps the clothes or that i get to sleep a better bed or eat better food. But what humbles me is the fact and truth that ONE DAY I AND THAT BEGGAR WILL DIE. And we are not even sure if we get that special spot in heaven (me i like the flower garden and the green grass of the heavens hehehhe). That one beggar that i pass by everyday may get that much better place... who knows? we don't really know...who's who or who would be in the final list (wait until i get to make kulit with my friend Peter hahahhahah).

We do panic ourselves with getting too many things and too much of the "trappings" that they become heavy for us to travel freely and unattached. I say, we travel light or perhaps choose to travel with nothing and simply unattached. Let us not argue with the "nothing"...for i feel i need not expound this further. I have that confidence in my heart that you know better (heheh I could not underestimate yours and my capacities).

Lastly, i am not saying that accomplishments, achievements, success or anything related to that would not bring us closer to our "destination". I would say we strive and continue to build ourselves up but decide to be unattached with anything. When we die, we don't bring our titles, cars, houses, bank accounts etc. We will be judged according to one measure only - LOVE...and as such our real identity and image is not of this world. We are all meant to reach heaven...labels would soon become...dust...



A quote from Pope John Paul VI:

"Somebody should have told us right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of everyday. Do it I say! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."

Waking Up With a Purpose

I happen to run through a coffee advertisement that says "kanino ka ba gumigising?". It did not really ring a bell at first except when my eyes were no longer glued on the screen. My heart simply felt and "captured" the sound of it (as in wow ...super beautiful question... at ganon ka tindi ang dating ng tanong).

And so i related it with these lines from Pedro Arrupe, a Jesuit that lived a very passionate life saying ...“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”

Arrupe's statements sweep it all. They summarize some fundamental and basic ways of motivating towards living our lives. Starting a day ...falling so deeply in love in quite absolute final way..." (as in woowww) i just feel that there is nothing beyond the point of the absolute (but if there is something beyond this, this space can't be owned by anyone else but MY GOD). But this has to be captured by action. Love in Action... everyday...

I happen to see a video of a very ...ohh so frustrating incident of a suicide put on video via internet by the person himself that committed it. He was trying to announce to everyone what he was about to do (suicide live via webcam). It was so sad to see someone loosing hope to live and decide to end his life that way by hanging himself. I saw the struggle and transition of color with his face from pale to becoming so dark until breathing stopped in a matter of less than 1 minute. Well just like that. As fast as that and it really broke my heart yet, i bravely witnessed such on video just to see and feel what this person might be feeling...it drained me... I just wanted to cry and cry after that.

Loosing hope and reason to live. Not having any reason to fire up the day or start the day can be one of those that we may be experiencing. I had lots of those actually in the many years of facing life's battles and struggles. The latest incident happened immediately after my 19th annotation retreat. After such arduous spiritual exercises, i was then so certain about what i loved doing and i was like pressuring myself not to pursue doing the rest other than my passion (ash in heheh). Yet, I remained and stood still for i might be entertaining the wrong voice. The days were discolored with the lack of motivation and drive to wake up. I found my energy dwindling. I wasn't able to associate low motivation with loosing the spirit to continue "serving God" in anything and everything about the mission.

Having no reason to wake up or not finding meaning with daily undertakings can affect everything in our lives. And so every time I run through Arrupe's lines, they refresh me in terms of committing myself everyday to continue to live and make each day my "fly day" - that is soar high and live life to the fullest.

I do find my purpose now much better and finer than before. I see more of challenges than making situations a problem. When i meet some really questionable behaviors of individuals:-), i ask "what can i learn from this person" so that i could improve my way of relating the next time.

Though I love talking so much, i usually take some halts to listen. In fact, i take more time to listen this time and simply enjoy each person i meet everyday (perhaps they feel it too and enjoy my company at the same time...well you might as well try me hahahhahah char lang).

I am more conscious as to responding (not reacting ...Mike taught me well in this in our moments of encounter) to questions and just trying to check personal motives and flow of conversation if they are simply discussion of facts - which can be very deceiving and may click the arrow leading to gossips.

I get to check myself when i feel dissatisfied and starts to complain. I see to it that i get the job done and more(which means passionately putting my heart in my work).

In short (which is rather long hhahhahah), i am starting to be more in touch with myself so that i could manifest and be more effective with everything that i do everyday.

But do i really get "sick" and scared waking up in a day. Well it does happen sometimes. And that is only when i start to entertain some negative thoughts so swooosh they come real fast and i felt that i cause and attract them. I tell you it is such a tedious job to pick "me" up when i allowed them to come in.

At this time i wake up and consciously declare "THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY, I LOVE DANG AND SHE WILL MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE" ( heheh with shouts of joooooooooooy). Simply because, i know what makes me happy...that is making others happy...help them find meaning and purpose everyday...so that ultimately, I make HIM happy up there...:-)From this i am declaring ...I HAVE A CHOICE AS TO HOW I SHOULD WAKE UP AND PERK MY DAY:-)

From Politics to Sports

Char lang...this time, Joyfully Hopeful is invading the world of sports...hahahah i mean kids sports. Yesterday, i was offered by my sister to co sponsor the uniform of another soccer team. Since they are forming two different age groups of players, she was asking me to "adopt" the other kids group such that naming them THE JOYFULLY HOPEFUL KIDS soccer team...

I excitedly printed shirts for their uniform and of course showcase the shirts plus the streamer of the Joyfully Hopeful during their soccer game this weekend...whitweewww...

At this point, i guess, we need to look for other sponsors to support their needs (ug sugdan ko na hahahahhah). I need not act as the coach hahahaha over to the max...Dennis, my sis husband will do that for us...Amen...

...so how is that? ...from politics to the invasion of kids' sports - soccer ...Doing God's business ha...:-) At my end, i am slowly toying with the idea of giving them formation .....hahahahhaha ...pinaparaket ako ni God ngayon ...free raket hahahahahha

Coffee Time

The Ignatian Pedagogical Paradigm of Jesuit Education (char lang grabe ka serious ang introduction) gives 5 steps to introducing an experiential learning cycle made available for students facilitated by trained educators...Such steps are as follows : Context, Experience, Reflection, Action, and Evaluation.

Wait lang...as in super doooper waahhhhahahahah...so how does my coffee time connect with the Ignatian Pedagogy? It is just that context defines how something is being applied to a particular or actual situation. It is like that of an operational definition in research. And so Coffee time in my context refers to my moments of love - spending time with loved ones and talk about anything (the rest of the pedagogy shall be explained in some future time when new context would arise and the drive of the Spirit and that of my friend Iggy...este St. Ignatius would bring it further to an inspiration of expounding it more in my other life's context hahahha kasabot mo? hahahah nag nose bleed ko ...hahahhahahah).

So coffee time, loved ones, and talking about anything. The first real life authors of this one (in my life) were my own parents. Papa and mama (many years back) would wake up early dawn to pray the rosary together. After which papa would play his "antique" Tom Jones songs (that were pleasing to my ears though) and mama would prepare coffee for both of them to discuss about anything. Still wrapped in my sheets, i could hear both of them in the dining table savoring the mornings together (they simply love the morning talks).

My other siblings do that too with their husbands or wives...the legacy handed down to us by our parents. At my end (though not yet "tied"), i have my own intimate times with coffee such as spending it with my sibling's family over hot pandesal during mornings that we are not rushing to do anything ( i want to savor this moment), or spend it with Mike, or with friends ( i just miss many of them now) or during spiritual encounter with my SD in the last 19th annotation retreat.

I would like to note that i am not stressing or focusing on coffee here...i am stressing on the TIME ...that special time spent for such moments of soft voices, eye to eye contacts, silence, simple conversations, intimate topics, plans presented and unfolded. Where, i could just be myself with the other person, tears sometimes flow, laughter shared, savoring the taste of the coffee while sipping the moments of joy ...of intimacy...of true and real selves revealed...

I love so much this family legacy...i love so much this intimacy of time...I simply love the people i was and am with...close to my heart...soooo close...:-)

At this point...(hahahah balik gihapon Ignatian paradigm)...the Iganatian Pedagogical Paradigm teaches a lot...but those moments of encounter with loved ones are simply one bit and piece of that paradigm...Context ...this one is Love in the moment...Coffee Time...made so special... :-)

Evangelizing Politics

A friend named Mitch approached me for a request of printing campaign - shirts for his father who is running for "Kagawad" in the upcoming Barangay election - October 25, 2010. I have not really tried printing other than the Joyfully Hopeful Designs but this one may be a venue for evangelization. I did not really know how to come in as to putting in the JH advocacy prayer but when Mitch requested that the prayer be attached, my soul leaped for joy hahahhahah ..a new way of evangelizing politics...and our people...Amen ....


- The Candidate -



- The Joyfully Hopeful Advocacy prayer printed at the back of the shirt -



Note :

Kindly refer to this Invitation to Pray the Joyfully Hopeful Advocacy Prayer :
http://dang-joyfullyhopeful.blogspot.com/2010/10/invitation.html

Career Path VS. Life Path

I intentionally browse the net to check on a particular blogger that has captured my interest for several months already. The name is Toni Tiu (Fit to Post blog at yahoo).

Yesterday (October 19, 2010) she blogged on the topic "What is your life path?" She stressed on some career paths that we choose but added further that life path is much bigger than that for it involves finding out what one really wants, that is finding one's passion. She defines career path as "how you progress in your job, position by position". While she considers life path "...as how you want to live your life. It’s about working towards your dreams and aspirations. More than that, it’s finding meaning and purpose in your life".

I could recall how my high school years was encroached with lots of uncertainties and fears about the future. Though some speakers have been invited by the school to talk about the different professions and careers through the courses offered by a particular university, i was still not certain with anything yet.

I may like writing at the moment but Mathematics was really my strength among all the subjects in high school (even in college). I could easily inch my pen to and juggle with formulas ...in short hehe i play with numbers. That was the passion. And i could spend long hours solving Mathematical problems. This brought me to win in Math Olympiad and at least won second in our region (hahahha actually team effort yon hahahah chillax ayaw ug panic ba).

So I thought I could pursue a career related to Math. But I liked computers too that even my term paper in fourth year (high school)was all about it. The graduation yearbook mentioned of my profession related to Computer or something related to Math (hehe i forgot already).

Due to my lack of knowledge with the different professions, i hopped with BS Accountancy which made me excel in the course but my performance dwindled and plummeted as i neared the the middle of my Junior year. It was a strong twist after a series of questionings and the encounter with a friend that studied BS Psychology. I loved so much everything about what she said. It was like simply defining an interest that was long buried.

With BS Psychology, it was such a natural way of going out from my shell. It was like slowly studying myself, my world and that of others. And so my graduation was a well deserved end of my college years (getting the "most friendly" award in the batch este ___________ fill in the blank na lang hahahhah). Thanks be to God for that...

But, another concern presented itself for it posted the question "which particular area of Psychology to tread". I was caught between two things - earn immediately and get any employer that would call me first or simply wait for what an employer that would call me for human resource work (which was my top preference after graduation).

The academe responded first. And everything happened so fast that i forgot about Human Resource for 11 long years of my work life. After which, i gave myself the chance to try the job which is what i am currently doing.

But still the question continues (thanks to Toni Tiu for her article). Since my 19th Annotation, I am being challenged by Fr. Frank to look into and consider a life-time employment... this time following my passion...and what i really, really love doing at the moment aside from my regular employment:-) (and while it consumes the 8- hour part of the day or more), i love designing shirts (for the Joyfully Hopeful advocacy - http://dang-joyfullyhopeful.blogspot.com/ ), shirt printing, create and re-create products, writing blogs, writing training modules and programs and expanding my visual power and energy (by and through God's grace) to what more i could possibly do to improve my craft for others to have more life and reason to live.



...and there is one beautiful thing that i would soon do...nurture another human being or beings (char lang)...One day i would just be a free soul that's free enough to tread on my life's passion - do God's work through the shirt, write and write and nurture ...this will be another one beautiful exciting thing that will soon happen...

Career path vs Life's path... ( a shift from I to We) if we just listen to our heart, it will take its shape and define us as the heart is being manifested through its choices. The latter surpasses career path and i could equal this to a Divine Calling...nothing lesser than the lifetime employment posted as a challenge by Fr. Frank...:-)

COURAGE...I AM WITH YOU

As frightened as i was in my childhood years with horror movies, my interest was its exact opposite. I like watching them even when i was alone. The Sunday's big event on television made me a lone "ranger" in the face of an ohh so frightening movie. I was just simply reminded with this when Princess, one of the Human Resource's staff sent me this communication via chat which i saw after some minutes that i was out from me table...take a look :



And so with that message ...i replied "oh...yah nag talk nami...whehehehhehe".

I thought growing older would make me braver. I still watch this kind of movies and i would lift my legs (sinehan na ni ha) and shout in the movie house like i am alone watching and sometimes even if everyone has rested ...everyone would hear my only "golden" voice in the air....(as in super dooper ikahihiya mo ang beauty ko...mike would usually say..."tama na hon" ....ouuuuuuuchhh that was during our anniversary movie date ...hahahh grosssssss and went out hiding in behind the cinema curtain that made mike look for me the rest of the movie ...sukol paka? Ang anniversary movie date namo kay watch mi JEEPERS CREEPERS hahahahha!!!!!!!!!! Mabuang ko bayot!!!

Really, i was such a crazy and anxious soul myself imagining ghosts to be somewhere near me when i hear stories about them. Well the funniest experience i had was during an 8-day retreat under Fr. Balchand, SJ's direction at the Jesuit Retreat house in Malaybalay.

It was an amazing 8-day silent retreat with each of us assigned to our individual room (as in super dooper matunog na walang kasama and walang lusot dahil naka post na names namin sa doorrrrrrrrrr whaaaaaaahhh). I had no idea whatsoever with room histories but ghost stories were popular that time during retreat with students.

And so alone in my room, i had my regular rituals of prayer and Bible reading prior to sleeping. Then the "new" attached rituals such as - placed my rosary beads as bracelet, held my st. Benedict medal, opened psalm 91 from the Bible and placed it beside my pillow, lights on and the last...wore my bonnet to protect my head from cold...este... to cover my head down to my eyes so i could pull it up from time to time to peep and check if there are really ghosts...hahahhahahahaha nabuang na gyud sana gi video ni nga scene noh? hahahhahah (wait lang...can't stop laughing...).

As in ...recalling that incident or even sharing it during trainings, seminars or a simple talks soared laughter in the audience and from me din. But at least i was able to recover from that sort of insanity with ghosts...Thanks be to God... The rosary that I prayed everyday (even as much as doing the 15 mysteries) did heal me from that thing and i got the assurance from a dream...which i shared to Fr. Pen Abuan, SJ one morning during retreat with students.

Let me recall that "story of assurance" (heheh chikka to the max). I prayed 15 mysteries of the rosary the night before that and I've never been so relaxed at Jesuit Retreat House except for that night. And the grace-filled encounter happened in my sleep when ...(i thought i was already awake)a man came near my bed. He wore a glaring white shirt (plus blue jeans ahahahhaha) with a little longer hair like that of Antonio Banderas (ahahahha nangdamay pa) ...as in super dooper gwapo...but you know what he said "dang mata naka kay mag hear naka ug mass"... as in super dooper at peace ako beauty and he was like telling me before he went out of the room that he was just standing outside the whole night to guard me....(ay security guard siya hahahha)....

...unlikely Conclusion (hahhahah)

Akong angel si Antonio Banderas....hahahha joookkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee....i mean i was just assured by God that HE IS WITH ME...through my super doooper cute angel....whhhhaaaaaaaaahhh gwapo niya hahahhaha...and i had the feeling that the Blessed Mother requested him to manifest his presence that night for the ultimate "assurance" of God's presence.