I read from a youtube video the line that says, "sometimes the story finds the storyteller, not the other way around" - TL Pierson. I am slowly feeling the march. They come in drizzle and kind of overwhelming. I am now in my 30's (hhhahahaha trying to hide the real age). And I feel more sensitive already to these things. If i had been this earlier, i would have compiled many stories that would have touched millions of lives. But it is never too late with anything for a heart that opens itself to the present, right?
Yesterday, today or in the future. If God wills it, I can only say... YES. A lot have started ahead of me. I am just joining their quest - To say YES and TOUCH LIVES. Go go marching...tell the tale...tell all and cover none (wow...kulbaan ko da whahhahahhahaha).
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
"You Know Better Than I" - In Memory of Chacha
Chacha my little puppy - buddy passed away 2 nights ago. It was not a simple journey. She was shared by my sister's family and myself. So she goes from one house to another. I get to have her weekends and when Tobby my other dog needs a playmate. I bathe both of them after which i tie Tobby at the side of the gate and I bring chacha inside the house to dry her thick fur. I use my hair blower to do that hahahha (that special ha). If i buy something for Tobby, chacha has it, too. They drink milk and eat dog food. But they like rice too with meat and soup. Whatever i eat, they both eat. All in all Chacha and Tobby both enjoy the luxury and comfort that other dogs (in general) don't have.
I would like to "crop" Tobby for a while and focus on Chacha.
One day i tied both of them facing each other to play. Thinking that they are both safe (under the shade in front of the house), i went to work one morning and left them both in that situation with complete food, milk and water. The rain started pouring in the afternoon and i did not even bother to think of any of them. But then i was worried to see chacha so wet entangled beside the house. She was so wet and cold. I grabbed her whole body and carried it with me wrapping her with some cloth to wipe and comfort her.
She was all the same so alive, wiggly and entertained me all the way. The usual chacha. But then she started coughing the day after that. And so i gave her some vitamins to take. The following day she was slow already and avoided food. She vomited and defecated often which i thought was just one of those things that Tobby had. But it was different already. One day she was at my sister's house without water and food (she was too friendly that she shared her food to stray cats:-))and got dehydrated.
I got her there when i arrived home and nursed her all the way but she did not recover. All in all, that fateful night (2 nights ago) she passed away while i held her in my hand.
I was so sorry. I cried my heart out. Until yesterday, i continued to blame myself for that one sad and poor soul of chacha not being given full attention. Everyone was busy - work, studies, etc. Lots of things to do.
I wasn't able to get a good sleep. I thought of her the whole time. I felt her soul / spirit left her body. I felt her last breath. I felt her wherever in the house. I blamed myself. My busy-ness. I got engaged with a lot of things. I left her. So I lost her.
My God ...she is just a dog...but she made me see parenting. I was scared...scared that i would not be able to give the attention to my future child (hahhahahah). I felt sadness and loneliness trying to envelope me. I sought for God's comfort. I asked questions such as:
1. what did i do God?
2. am i to blame?
3. where is chacha right now?
4. Is she playing with you? is she in your arms?
5. What must i do?
6. Why did you take him from me? from us?
Someone told me that she has served her purpose. That was only until that time. Her time. But to realize future without her. What am I doing? What am i thinking? I feel so attached. It is like loosing a human being. Chacha was not just a puppy. She was my dear oh so dear little puppy girlash...she was special. I cared for her. I love/d her...She will remain in my heart. So when the neighbor that gave her to us told me that they will give me/us another puppy...I said "no". I am not ready yet. I am not ready to replace chacha yet. I still feel her. Her tiny tongue wetting my cheek hehehehhehe. I simply misssssssssss her.
This one experience made me think of a lot of things :
1. Letting go
It is hard to let go when you are attached. Letting go is quite painful. You feel the person, memories, the loss, the final separation
2. Parenting
Giving attention to kids when they need it the most ( sickness or even if they are not)
3. God's will - when God says and wills it...that's it...
4. Acceptance
This is very important. The grace to accept is readily available when one asks for it
5. "You Know Better Than I" - from : Joseph the Dreamer
This song is my song for this experience. I downloaded this song a week ago. I did not expect that it would be dedicated to my puppy lovie. This one beautiful song led me to pick up... I hope you will like it, too.
Come sail with me in my pain and my picking up... And so "...I have let go the need to know why...YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I"
If chacha could read, this is my letter for her...
You came to me one day as a surprise. A heaven sent. You made me so happy the whole time you were with me and Tobby. Despite your naughty, playful barking, you entertain me with your wiggling tail. You are such a lovely tale of all tales of dog stories. You are one beautiful part of my life's story...I love you my chacha puppy doggie...lovie mwahhhh ...bye bye...rest now and play well where you are. I see you now wrapped by Jesus in His arms...(hahhahah sana hindi ako sapakin ni Jesus). Love, Your playmate Dangie
To conclude...i am simply crazy in love...both humans and animals...ask St. Francis of Assisi ...he can tell you better...mwahhh I love you allllllllll...I love God...and so I rest...
God's will...My Peace...Amen
Monday, February 14, 2011
Disappointed "Parent":-(
I just recently felt the panic of parenting. My "pamangkin" (an adolescent - 16 years old) was left under my care. She told me one day that her 23 year old boyfriend would want to meet me one of these days. As in super dooper "oh my God"...what am i into. In my panicky gesture beyond my control, i rushed to my sister's house for support. She listened to my entire emotional story about my niece but then i was interrupted by the teasing laughter of her husband followed by a comment "unsa na lang if imo na nga anak dang noh?"....hahahhaha that's why the panic.
That night after the conversation, i was terrified. In my prayer, i told God, that I am frightened to get married. There will be situations that parenting demands for itself such as the situation of my niece.
I believed in my "sane-most" state that i have such a sharp mind and smart in a lot of ways except this. I humbly told my niece the following morning "i am sorry if i was sort of panicky...but i am not confident with dealing your situation that's why I decided to let you go back home and talk to your dad".
I admit, i was disappointed with myself that time. I thought to myself that i am a skilled counselor, that i have helped lots of adolescents and families during my 10 years of counseling practice but my disappointment pointed to my lack of courage of facing my own niece.
Though frustrated, down and low (hehehhe todo na to), i felt that i made the right decision to let her talk to her dad and agree on some parameters before she continues to live with me. If things are clear between her and her parents, then she can come back with me and I do as much as I can to practice my parenting skills. Oh my God...help me heheheheh.
Parenting is hard. I don't know how far i can go as a parent...
At this point, I can only conclude this article with...GOD HELP ME hhahahhahaha
That night after the conversation, i was terrified. In my prayer, i told God, that I am frightened to get married. There will be situations that parenting demands for itself such as the situation of my niece.
I believed in my "sane-most" state that i have such a sharp mind and smart in a lot of ways except this. I humbly told my niece the following morning "i am sorry if i was sort of panicky...but i am not confident with dealing your situation that's why I decided to let you go back home and talk to your dad".
I admit, i was disappointed with myself that time. I thought to myself that i am a skilled counselor, that i have helped lots of adolescents and families during my 10 years of counseling practice but my disappointment pointed to my lack of courage of facing my own niece.
Though frustrated, down and low (hehehhe todo na to), i felt that i made the right decision to let her talk to her dad and agree on some parameters before she continues to live with me. If things are clear between her and her parents, then she can come back with me and I do as much as I can to practice my parenting skills. Oh my God...help me heheheheh.
Parenting is hard. I don't know how far i can go as a parent...
At this point, I can only conclude this article with...GOD HELP ME hhahahhahaha
Sunday, February 6, 2011
My Day's Miracles
Earlier before lunch, i had such an encounter with a former student of the school that i worked with. The encounter revealed how such failures in academics can turn into a big challenge of pursuing despite and in spite of.
His name is Jaypee (hehe with his permission that i would use it in this blog). Jaypee failed in Math when he was in high school which made him transfer to another school as advised by the teachers after the academic review and deliberation. When he transferred, he made it with flying colors in academics and got accepted at Xavier University where he finished also not exactly getting the major academic award but graduated with a Magis award (magis award is given to student with exemplary service record) . His failure also in Math led him to repeat the subject twice. Since he was underloaded in a particular semester when he repeated Math, he took Japanese studies. And what he thought to be a failure made him qualify to go to Japan to represent the Philippines for a competition (he told me that during the screening, he was competing among students who graduated with honors - cum laudes, etc... his edge was his capacity to speak Japanese).
Currently, Jaypee works as a part time teacher of Xavier University and Lourdes College. He also holds other tutorials in Japanese and French.
With teary eyes, I told him "You are my miracle today".
I thought i won't have any other surprises of my day until, I conducted a final interview of a particular applicant in the afternoon. As details unfolded, i found the applicant competent for placement in the position she applied for. Yet another touching details were presented by her such as :
1. she is financially supporting her sickly and aging parents
2. her boyfriend died in an accident last October, 2010 and she is still coping
with the death but has to stand up to fulfill her family responsibilities
3. She has a brother that was missing for several years already and thought that
he is already dead.
And the last thing that captured my attention when she stood up after the interview was, her torn sandals dragging it with her foot to support one of her feet. I was simply torn into pieces as i called her back and offer her small amount of money to buy "rugby" (heheheh this is just my desperate move) which she thought of buying another one for her to use when she goes back home (at Camiguin island). And when she left, i had the "slow motion" running after her move hahhahahah. I brought with me the rolled tape and Christian (one of the Trainers brought a staepler (hahahha off to the rescue amo beauties).
And that's it. Our applicant was all thanks and praises ...and ako tulala.
What a day? Two people brought by God to lead me to the miracles of the day...They both pointed to the realization that failures and life's tragedies can't be just the end. Failures do point to a new direction ...much better than where we are... Furthermore, it is that one applicant i met today that challenged me more to serving and loving...
Great God ...Thanks so much...You simply brought people to tell me that life's lessons continue to unfold...Thanks My Teacher...:-)
His name is Jaypee (hehe with his permission that i would use it in this blog). Jaypee failed in Math when he was in high school which made him transfer to another school as advised by the teachers after the academic review and deliberation. When he transferred, he made it with flying colors in academics and got accepted at Xavier University where he finished also not exactly getting the major academic award but graduated with a Magis award (magis award is given to student with exemplary service record) . His failure also in Math led him to repeat the subject twice. Since he was underloaded in a particular semester when he repeated Math, he took Japanese studies. And what he thought to be a failure made him qualify to go to Japan to represent the Philippines for a competition (he told me that during the screening, he was competing among students who graduated with honors - cum laudes, etc... his edge was his capacity to speak Japanese).
Currently, Jaypee works as a part time teacher of Xavier University and Lourdes College. He also holds other tutorials in Japanese and French.
With teary eyes, I told him "You are my miracle today".
I thought i won't have any other surprises of my day until, I conducted a final interview of a particular applicant in the afternoon. As details unfolded, i found the applicant competent for placement in the position she applied for. Yet another touching details were presented by her such as :
1. she is financially supporting her sickly and aging parents
2. her boyfriend died in an accident last October, 2010 and she is still coping
with the death but has to stand up to fulfill her family responsibilities
3. She has a brother that was missing for several years already and thought that
he is already dead.
And the last thing that captured my attention when she stood up after the interview was, her torn sandals dragging it with her foot to support one of her feet. I was simply torn into pieces as i called her back and offer her small amount of money to buy "rugby" (heheheh this is just my desperate move) which she thought of buying another one for her to use when she goes back home (at Camiguin island). And when she left, i had the "slow motion" running after her move hahhahahah. I brought with me the rolled tape and Christian (one of the Trainers brought a staepler (hahahha off to the rescue amo beauties).
And that's it. Our applicant was all thanks and praises ...and ako tulala.
What a day? Two people brought by God to lead me to the miracles of the day...They both pointed to the realization that failures and life's tragedies can't be just the end. Failures do point to a new direction ...much better than where we are... Furthermore, it is that one applicant i met today that challenged me more to serving and loving...
Great God ...Thanks so much...You simply brought people to tell me that life's lessons continue to unfold...Thanks My Teacher...:-)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
God Continues to Unveil
Some of the things that I was looking for in the past...i found them yesterday. We had a panel interview with our OJTs. All of them strove to present themselves so that we would be convinced to give them the job that they so desire.
They wanted the job so much to generally support the ones they love. They come from broken homes, real destitute and struggling to make ends meet. Some of them want also the experience in order to bring with them as they apply for another job after 5 to 6 months. One thing is common though, they were desperate and went as far as digging into their personal concerns and issues. Bucket of tears fell and i was shaken ...so shaken. I wanted just to cry and cry (but of course held myself to survive the long day).
I did entertain the thought of leaving my job many times already. I feel that i can bring in my skills and knowledge somewhere or do some private practice. When i got this job, it was like that placed on a silver este ...gold platter (hahahah don't think of money...think of the easy way of getting this job). But these individuals are "slapping" me with their stories. They want to work for the love of their families, support their studies and some to survive.
It was a long day yesterday. Glenn, John and myself (who did the panel final interview and revalida) though broke the in-between by our Lady Gaga dance (music from Glenn's phone...hahahah we thought we were crazy ) went out last night with hearts so full and fulfilled. Though 2 of the OJTs decided not to pursue but still I could say, we gave the best of ourselves that certainly they won't forget.
What a day it was...filled with realizations and love...Thank you God (as i whispered my night's prayer) and thanks for the friendship i have built among us - Glenn, John and myself...and of course there was YOU MY GOD...
I ended my night with Michael holding my hand as we both prayed the rosary together.. .
And so, I thought my restless heart would not be able to find it ...it was yesterday that I found Him in the many faces of individuals - OJTs, Glenn, John, and Mike... again and again, GOD CONTINUES TO UNVEIL...
Note : I would like to correct the first statement ...I was not looking for things (used it just for the lack of better word to use beyond the REAL WORD heheh) I was really looking for only ONE - GOD...:-)
They wanted the job so much to generally support the ones they love. They come from broken homes, real destitute and struggling to make ends meet. Some of them want also the experience in order to bring with them as they apply for another job after 5 to 6 months. One thing is common though, they were desperate and went as far as digging into their personal concerns and issues. Bucket of tears fell and i was shaken ...so shaken. I wanted just to cry and cry (but of course held myself to survive the long day).
I did entertain the thought of leaving my job many times already. I feel that i can bring in my skills and knowledge somewhere or do some private practice. When i got this job, it was like that placed on a silver este ...gold platter (hahahah don't think of money...think of the easy way of getting this job). But these individuals are "slapping" me with their stories. They want to work for the love of their families, support their studies and some to survive.
It was a long day yesterday. Glenn, John and myself (who did the panel final interview and revalida) though broke the in-between by our Lady Gaga dance (music from Glenn's phone...hahahah we thought we were crazy ) went out last night with hearts so full and fulfilled. Though 2 of the OJTs decided not to pursue but still I could say, we gave the best of ourselves that certainly they won't forget.
What a day it was...filled with realizations and love...Thank you God (as i whispered my night's prayer) and thanks for the friendship i have built among us - Glenn, John and myself...and of course there was YOU MY GOD...
I ended my night with Michael holding my hand as we both prayed the rosary together.. .
And so, I thought my restless heart would not be able to find it ...it was yesterday that I found Him in the many faces of individuals - OJTs, Glenn, John, and Mike... again and again, GOD CONTINUES TO UNVEIL...
Note : I would like to correct the first statement ...I was not looking for things (used it just for the lack of better word to use beyond the REAL WORD heheh) I was really looking for only ONE - GOD...:-)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Starting to Pick up
I woke up this morning with a new zeal, refreshed from the days of restlessness. I tried to figure out how life has been. I felt that i needed the break to pick up. Looking back (for more than a month now), the following have transpired:
1. questioned my work engagements(over and over again)
2. wanted to quit
3. I have met people whom i consider a big disgrace why they should have to be born to make lives of others miserable (but even that, i chose not to be a victim)
But despite of that, blessings were pouring in such as:
1. opened up my t shirt business
2. continued my consultancy, trainings and counseling business
3. did a beautiful project with mike
4. niece guia came in to join me in the house (which made life easier for me)
5. figured out how i could improve my entrepreneurial capacity
6. involved myself with the Truly Rich Pinoy Website which brought me several books to dig into for me to learn and improve my financial IQ
7. Figured out my passion : writing and relating with people
8. Learned that i have a choice in every situation
9. Learned that everything is grace and that even the most painful situation can bring in the most of life's learnings
10. I admit that Dr. Wayne Dyer brought in wisdom of living which started when i was about to leave the United States in 2009.
And my, i realize, there is more to life as blessing than perceiving it as "not worth living"...
Sail on Dang...pick up and live...:-)
1. questioned my work engagements(over and over again)
2. wanted to quit
3. I have met people whom i consider a big disgrace why they should have to be born to make lives of others miserable (but even that, i chose not to be a victim)
But despite of that, blessings were pouring in such as:
1. opened up my t shirt business
2. continued my consultancy, trainings and counseling business
3. did a beautiful project with mike
4. niece guia came in to join me in the house (which made life easier for me)
5. figured out how i could improve my entrepreneurial capacity
6. involved myself with the Truly Rich Pinoy Website which brought me several books to dig into for me to learn and improve my financial IQ
7. Figured out my passion : writing and relating with people
8. Learned that i have a choice in every situation
9. Learned that everything is grace and that even the most painful situation can bring in the most of life's learnings
10. I admit that Dr. Wayne Dyer brought in wisdom of living which started when i was about to leave the United States in 2009.
And my, i realize, there is more to life as blessing than perceiving it as "not worth living"...
Sail on Dang...pick up and live...:-)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I See Them
I woke up this morning
Misty eyed and blank
Why can someone does such a thing?
Many suffer
Why oh why?
God sees man's struggle
If such calloused heart continues
Them that struggle
Will have the agony day after day
What can i do?
I feel so helpless with what i see
When my hand starts to write
They are blocked by someone's "might"
I feel so helpless
I see their eyes
I bleed inside
When must suffering end
How can i comfort these souls
I feel that i have not done enough
I thought of parting
I thought of space
I thought i should free my heart
I do suffer...
I feel so pained ...
My arms are wide open
Now...they are still but weary
I want to hold them
Nurse them in my heart
It hurts so much
If only i have much of those strength
That i could contain them in my heart
Oh my ...oh my...
I know even if i feel God's silence
He has them ...held in his Love.....
Thank you so much my God...
Misty eyed and blank
Why can someone does such a thing?
Many suffer
Why oh why?
God sees man's struggle
If such calloused heart continues
Them that struggle
Will have the agony day after day
What can i do?
I feel so helpless with what i see
When my hand starts to write
They are blocked by someone's "might"
I feel so helpless
I see their eyes
I bleed inside
When must suffering end
How can i comfort these souls
I feel that i have not done enough
I thought of parting
I thought of space
I thought i should free my heart
I do suffer...
I feel so pained ...
My arms are wide open
Now...they are still but weary
I want to hold them
Nurse them in my heart
It hurts so much
If only i have much of those strength
That i could contain them in my heart
Oh my ...oh my...
I know even if i feel God's silence
He has them ...held in his Love.....
Thank you so much my God...
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
God's Will, My Peace
I actually got the title from my 19th Annotation Retreat. Lately, i was starting to question my situations. All the things that transpired seem to bring a lot of headache. Stressors keep on coming. I thought something has gone wrong with the way i am perceiving things. I simply decided not to get caught with it. When some situations occur...they are the reality at that moment. To accept them is simply letting go of myself and allow situations to be as they are. If i did my part ...and i did them well...and with the unfolding of events...there God is telling me something about them.
Let His will be my peace...no more struggles...:-)
Let His will be my peace...no more struggles...:-)
A Surprise Gift
I received a beautiful Christmas card yesterday from Fr. Frank...crafted and designed by himself (super talented...). He calls its "old fashioned" but not for me. I like old ways, traditions, etc. They reminisce beautiful memories. When i was a kid, i made cards too. They were usually projects that my teachers asked us to do to be given to special people in our lives. I usually gave them to my parents, brothers, sisters and friends. Since i did not find myself artistic, some of those i made were meant only for submission, grading and kept in my "baul". But those i found attractive, i gave them. But my parents simply accepted them despite the looks and i got the most beautiful smile from them.
Nickey, my pamangkin does it more often to his parents. I appreciated him very much for doing such (though still it is a school project). But the effort of my SD Fr. Frank is something that of an extra mile...He crafted them in his own hands and intentionally give them not because it is a school project....hehehe perhaps i could do the same...hehehe thinking of it...gakalingaw nako ...:-)
This time...the artist in me is slowly waking up...:-)
Thank you Fr. Frank...such a beautiful gift you gave...Merry Christmas...hohohohohhhh
Nickey, my pamangkin does it more often to his parents. I appreciated him very much for doing such (though still it is a school project). But the effort of my SD Fr. Frank is something that of an extra mile...He crafted them in his own hands and intentionally give them not because it is a school project....hehehe perhaps i could do the same...hehehe thinking of it...gakalingaw nako ...:-)
This time...the artist in me is slowly waking up...:-)
Thank you Fr. Frank...such a beautiful gift you gave...Merry Christmas...hohohohohhhh
Focus on Serving...Focus on Loving
Before i start up something, i check my motivations. It usually gives me a halt when motivation-wise (hehe if there is such a word) would give me feedback that the focus is self not service. If I could not get the shape of my sincere motive of serving and ultimately, loving...i don't do it. And so waiting comes in.
There are lots of waiting. It is not a waiting for the availability of funds. Though i admit it is one of the major concerns, but, it is the waiting for Dang to shape up. Though i get frustrated at times with myself but not really with Dang. She is such a daring adventure of everything...i am trying to get to know her even more with her thoughts, desires and actions. I always forgive myself and Dang when we both falter and fail, that's why we are both so comfortable with each other (just like the way i befriend Mike).
And so we wait that service and loving be the real motive. we sift, sort, resort...Tedious but we are not giving up...joyful? yes...and hopeful? ......OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSS!:-0 hahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahah
In Love? yes yes yes ....hahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahaha
There are lots of waiting. It is not a waiting for the availability of funds. Though i admit it is one of the major concerns, but, it is the waiting for Dang to shape up. Though i get frustrated at times with myself but not really with Dang. She is such a daring adventure of everything...i am trying to get to know her even more with her thoughts, desires and actions. I always forgive myself and Dang when we both falter and fail, that's why we are both so comfortable with each other (just like the way i befriend Mike).
And so we wait that service and loving be the real motive. we sift, sort, resort...Tedious but we are not giving up...joyful? yes...and hopeful? ......OHHHHHHHHH YESSSSSSSSSS!:-0 hahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahah
In Love? yes yes yes ....hahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahaha
My "Beautiful" Project
For almost two weeks now, i started a beautiful project - my t shirt and accessories shop. With my meager budget, two generous carpenters have extended themselves giving cheaper service than the usual (and i gave them free meals,snacks and chikka interviews). The shop is almost done but i could not be totally convinced with making it a clothes shop. And so i prayed for guidance as to what to do with it. With its native and cute look i could make it something perhaps more worthwhile than a clothes shop...
And so while the construction is on going, a friend asked me to do counseling for her son and some people in the company requested for my private counseling service. And so making it a counseling room was the idea that came in. At the moment the idea is still an idea heheheh. Still, i am in the process of beautifying the shop and continuing to envision of something like pushing through with my consultancy, trainings and counseling service.
In prayer, i am like planting the seed for the idea to come to reality...the Joyfully Hopeful shirts will then be promoted during counseling...:-) How is that God huh? hehehehehehhe I simply love the idea...
Wait lang beauty ko sa Boss ko above...:-)
And so while the construction is on going, a friend asked me to do counseling for her son and some people in the company requested for my private counseling service. And so making it a counseling room was the idea that came in. At the moment the idea is still an idea heheheh. Still, i am in the process of beautifying the shop and continuing to envision of something like pushing through with my consultancy, trainings and counseling service.
In prayer, i am like planting the seed for the idea to come to reality...the Joyfully Hopeful shirts will then be promoted during counseling...:-) How is that God huh? hehehehehehhe I simply love the idea...
Wait lang beauty ko sa Boss ko above...:-)
Monday, December 13, 2010
TRUE SPIRIT
I thought of those Christmases when i was a kid. I was highly anticipating many things such as mama's cooking (as in super lots of food plus my visits to neighbors hahahhaha namasko), caroling, Christmas parties, new clothes, gifts from classmates, and the ones a year gift pack given to kids by the neighborhood organization - a brown paper bag full of goodies such as candies, toys, paper ball, plastic balloon.
I also lit some firecrackers with my friends and the "watosee"...(oops i don't know the spelling but it is a red slender thing that when you light at one end, travels at flip and then gone).
As years advanced, i saw how my expectations of the coming of Christmas dwindled. So many realities have come forth before my eyes that my excitement became the regular day to day feeling that is ...wala lang...minsan numb...:-(
I am now looking into the real and true spirit of Christmas. Though i like so much receiving gifts and imagining that i could fill up my table with all sorts of food. But then i am seeing that i have more than enough for myself. I could try filling up someone's table (not necessarily mine:-)). Perhaps giving brings in the true spirit that i have been anticipating. Perhaps i could see Him through the eyes that don't have enough on the table. Not really perhaps... but i believe in my heart...i would see and feel HIM through them.
I also lit some firecrackers with my friends and the "watosee"...(oops i don't know the spelling but it is a red slender thing that when you light at one end, travels at flip and then gone).
As years advanced, i saw how my expectations of the coming of Christmas dwindled. So many realities have come forth before my eyes that my excitement became the regular day to day feeling that is ...wala lang...minsan numb...:-(
I am now looking into the real and true spirit of Christmas. Though i like so much receiving gifts and imagining that i could fill up my table with all sorts of food. But then i am seeing that i have more than enough for myself. I could try filling up someone's table (not necessarily mine:-)). Perhaps giving brings in the true spirit that i have been anticipating. Perhaps i could see Him through the eyes that don't have enough on the table. Not really perhaps... but i believe in my heart...i would see and feel HIM through them.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
WINGLESS ANGELS
Last night someone called me an "Angel" to the rescue on behalf of a priest that did not show up hahahhahahah to lead the opening prayer of a program and prayer before meal:-)... That was like unexpected comment. The dominant feeling was not being worthy to be called as such. As i checked myself, I believe anyone can be an angel in disguise...Anybody can be used by God to represent Him in any situation. His representative, His messenger when any of His people needs Him. Who else but...us?
But more than anything...people are seeing me and BEYOND ME...seeing that i can do God's work and so they come for anything - do counseling for a member of the family or do counseling for them, do some introduction of a production number, write eulogy for someone that died...as in super dooper hahhahahaha (my sister was shocked when i told her this)...
They also flock for comments and assurance with how they look or the style of clothing or write a personality development program for them. And the most heartwarming of all that i had was when in some acquaintances, strangers, colleagues, or old friends open and pour out their hearts (in buckets of tears most of the time). They simply trust me. And ohhhh i feel the need to take care of them. They come because they feel that i can be trusted and more than anything they see God in me....grabe talaga na pressure ...damang dama ko yon...(dapat talaga ipagpapatuloy ang pagpapakabait hahahhahaha).
Some of them asked about my professional fee...i could not utter anything simply because i already got used to helping anyone in need that i don't really know if i could attach any fee for anything i do as a favor for others that need my help ...in anyway i can.
Anyhow, the fee can be discussed though for some special services like trainings or perhaps i could engage in a professional counseling practice in the future hahahhahahaha (now toying the brilliant idea) but not with some small favors to friends ...and there are lots of them... I guess then that being called an angel by some individuals is appropriate.
And so everyday can be a planting of small seeds of hope for others... we can do this together...we can be God's Wingless Angels...:-)
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