“YOU ARE MY WORLD”

A Type of Listening that heals and transforms the heart…

Since my training in BS Psychology way back in college, I started to take listening seriously (i sensed a different movement related to this). I found listening as natural as breathing for me (though I am very talkative if given the chance nyahahahahah…try me). And I noticed that I learned listening like a sponge with an the added ingredient of “you are my world” at this very moment mode. Just like that of anyone so head over heels in love with someone. And I get to do that a lot.

My skill in listening did not really come overnight. It started with the painful process of digging and listening with myself. This led to a richer self that is being able to extend what it experienced. Sometimes friends just come outpouring themselves and they say “thank you for listening". Sometimes also, participants during trainings / workshops bare their hearts and cry leading them to say “ thank you for listening”.

And so through the years of doing this art and skill, I learned the following :

1. Listening does not demand memorizing all facts. In fact it is impossible during longs sessions (in counseling and chikkas with friends:-) except when my client allows recording of facts or me jotting down of important points which I usually do.
2. Listening demands getting into the feeling of the person. I look straight straight in the eyes and imagine getting inside of the person's world. (Counseling Psychology calls this empathy).
3. Listening involves identifying also and setting boundaries in terms of identifying who has the real problem (objectivity is very important).
4. Listening is hard when personal issues get in the picture. All sorts of contamination and shades of the past and clouds of darkness in the heart may put listening to a bad light. The one big challenge therefore, is to clean up the heart’s mess before engaging into the listening process.
5. True listening allows freedom and space for the one being listened to explore his / her world. If biased, the client bears the burden and may not come back (sad talaga).
6. Listening involves the heart. On a regular normal day to day course of encounters with other people, it is impossible to remember all the facts but rest assured that the heart of a sincere listener does.
7. True listening brings healing. In fact the silence that accompanies true and pure listening sends a message of comfort and change of heart.
8. Lastly, true and pure listening brings healing also to the one listening.

So if there is such a fruit to the “you are my world” strategy that I am engaging in, it is HEALING. True listening heals and transforms the heart.

May dating ba? :-)