HUMILITY EQUALS TRUTH

http://www.zazzle.ca/erasmus+tshirts

I heard the title above from a priest that delivered his Sunday homily at the Church’s pulpit.  It rang like a loud Church bell signalling the churchgoers to come and join the “festive” celebration to remain humble in the midst of life’s circumstance.

What did that priest discuss about it?  Acceptance of the truth about ourselves is tantamount to being humble and vise versa.  Humility is a challenge.  We like to polish ourselves in  front of people.  We want to put on the best curtain during fiesta.  Or bring out the best set of plates and silverwares to entertain our guests at home (I observed my own mother doing this since my childhood years).

When I was a kid, I would wear new dress during special celebrations like birthday, Christmas and fiesta.  In my school projects, I would strive to lavishly decorate my projects to get higher marks believing that it could tempt teachers to give me higher rating if I did it (which I did heheh).

Moreover, I had low self-esteem in my high school years so I hid in silence not really and fully participating for fear that I may be misjudged by my classmates.  I never participated in the school’s student government nor I became an officer of major organization in school except for the small time club that I joined in fourth year where I happen to be appointed as the president since there was no other “more qualified one” among the members. 

Even with my family financial status, there was nothing to boast.   My father was only a high school graduate.  He got married at the age of 19 or 20 years old.  He had to double his effort being a simple labourer of a pineapple company.  My mother was a fulltime housewife.  Yet, realizing that the family needs more financial help, they had to have other means of supporting us.  Papa started rent a farm while mama started her small broiler chicken business.

There were 6 of us children that had to be fed, clothed and sent to school.  I could not imagine how they were able to sustain all of us but they did with so much commitment and dedication.  When I was in college, all my older 4 siblings have graduated.  While I was on my way to finishing mine, my mother passed away through a vehicular accident.  I was left so lost and almost stopped my studies.  But God’s grace and divine intervention I survived that tough test.

When I was so close to pain, I felt “naked” with the reality that life can just end anytime.  It humbles me to realize that I have no hold to life except those small things that I can manage and control …just within my reach.  But even those can be surrendered, lifted up and offered to God realizing that I do not own anything in this world.  That is the truth.  And that for me is humility.

Now I am living with a very simple truth.  I am married.  I no longer live alone.  I like the idea of going home from work seeing my daughter and husband  at night (i go home a little late than most of the workers i think...i do afternoon and night classes) so excited for me to be home.  At the moment, we only rent a small house in a low-cost housing subdivision.  Yet I joyfully celebrate having my oh so beautiful family …AMEN AND  THANK YOU GOD!!!!!

One day soon, we will have our own house that will become our “love nest”… GOD NEST OF LOVE…..  Yet and still, I would highly consider having such a simple structure of a house called home bathed in the abundance of love, simplicity, humility, etc.  And I would contain in my heart the truth that simple things in life are so lavish and made available to everyone.  I just have to open my heart for its overflowing life’s supplyJ 

Will you join me and be ready to take life’s overflowing?  Just one tip though…bare yourself before God…inorder to see His lavishness and abundanceJ

ONE PRIEST THAT MADE SO MUCH DIFFERENCE

just downloaded this from the net...ew  hehehe 

His name is Father Adam (hmmm I think I just have to ask for his permission to put his full name which up to this writing I have not asked yet).  He is a Spiritan pritest.  Actually, it was  the first time that I heard of his Catholic Congregation – Spiritan.  It was named after the Holy Spirit – the third person in the Blessed Trinity (as stated in the Catholic Doctrine.

Why am I writing about him?  I really find him standing “tall” and different among us aside from the fact that he is a foreigner.  I got to know him from two of my classes in my post graduate studies.  He gives straightforward answers to the questions of the professor.  He told the class also that he is assigned at a very far barangay from where majority of the people that live there are Muslims.  He stated further that he had to walk many kilometres in order to reach the place.  And in one of those candid moments, he asked (from where I thought at first that he was joking) “who among the Catholic priest have done what I did…that was to build 3 mosques for the Muslims” (in his mission area) and  just laughed and laughed. 

He is really candid …and spontaneous (the same meaning ha hehe)…  One time he just stated outright in class that nobody would like him since he is very outspoken and I guess he pointed to the two of us also that sat beside him (hmmm I thought ..talaga si father dinamay ako wheheheh).

Yup…who would ever like someone so outspoken nowadays.  From experience, the most outspoken would serve as representative of the group to speak up on their behalf or will end up being disliked by the management in the workplace for distorting stability and so called “peace” and balance (some kind of a pseudo balance).  But these are people are not afraid to speak about the truth.  In fact a lot of them die early (sssshhhh) just like Jesus (hahhahahah i feel that i have gone very far...what do you think? hehehhehe). 

Jesus was so disliked during his time.  Yet he was so free that nobody could even inflict fear on him.  Even death was never hindrance for him to speak up.  When I heard of Fr. Adam in our class, I thought I have seen Jesus so alive in him.  He was such a free soul inside that priest body.  He was so childlike and so playful.  Even the truth that he blurted from time to time was so swift and crisp that  a lot of us in class fell so silent.  Hmmm and at my end, I was left pondering.  Could Jesus be like this man?  (hahah or the other way around).  I just felt something so different about him.  That is his lack of fear to speak up about the truth. 

I don't really know much about his background.  All I know is that …I have seen Christ in him…in the person of Fr. Adam.

PS…hhhmmm there is one thing that you should know…ohhh he hates Math so much ….howdy hahahhahahah…hmmm but I find him soooooooo smartJ…a “head turner” in class…at that…J May God bless his mission and his congregationJ

FROM “SENDONG” TO “PABLO” …and a lot more that followed

http://i1.tribune.com.pk/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/628509-typhoon-1383810254-218-640x480.jpg

I was frightened when a colleague in the workplace mentioned a prediction that says, the entire Philippines will be another Africa in the future.  Or that it will be erased from the world map.  No I am not joking.  I heard someone mentioned that.  And it frightened me so much.

When I was single, stories like that did not really hit me that hard.  You know why?  I was single anyway so I have nobody with me that I may be protecting or that I may be afraid that I would be leaving someone helpless.  Now that I am married, stories like that put me to the height and torturous imagination of what would happen with the helpless child that I brought forth by God grace and provision (Amen praise God).

Cagayan de Oro has experienced its worst when Sendong hit us.  With Pablo, my daughter was already with us.  Yet she taught me one beautiful lesson in the middle of that storm.  While I and my husband had our prayer / hourly vigil (Rosary, Divine mercy novena) with the lighted candle, our dear daughter was so peacefully asleep while I caught myself so frightened not for myself but for her. 

I could recall, how I stated, “dear God save…not for me but please …for my daughter”.   While I continually stated that in my mind, I stopped realizing how God has brought  His peace so present in the person of our daughter. 

At present, again feel so insecure about how nature has changed so much.  Several typhoons have hit the country including earthquake.   It pains my heart to see TV news at night stating and counting number of persons that died, properties that were damaged, livelihood that were lost, buildings and houses that were destroyed and a lot more. 

I see the loss of hope in the  eyes of men women in the affected areas.  I have asked God several times over “Why these have to happen?”  And still I ended up deciding to let go despite the pain that crept in me.

Why do many of us  have to die or blood has to shed before we would be able to wake up from deep, dreamy, so lost and sinful state? When do we realize that we contribute so much to the weight of what has happened around. 

I do believe we connect with each other and to nature.  That there are consequences to our actions and they all go back to us.  We need to go back to the most basic.  We need to go back to our source.  We need to realize that God is talking to us through these.  We need to realize that man has to wake up and go back ….TO GOD…J  We need not waste time.. It has to happen…NOW…  By all means we need to bring ourselves to our knees and look up…WE NEED TO PRAY AND GO BACK ..TO GOD.

"It Is Kind Of 'Lonely' When You Want to Make a Difference"

http://ministry127.com/free-resources/powerpoint/making-a-difference

A brilliant classmate at my post graduate studies ms Tina Concepcion mentioned that one of her professors mentioned in their class “it is kind of lonely when you want to make a difference”.    I then thought that perhaps her professor may have experienced something  that  made him realize that he was alone after all in his intention and effort of “making a difference” (ssshhh he was my professor too and I loved so much being in his class…hmmm the very smart and brilliant Dr. Magtrayo).

What do you mean by “making a difference”.  It is like doing something different from the rest.   Something that is contrary to the usual practice of a / an office, workplace, family, group of friends, etc.  It is very challenging, though since, you might be doing it alone.  Perhaps that’s the reason why that professor stated “it is kind of lonely”. 

So what if you are doing it alone, hmmm, that would mean you are going against the tide.  Everybody in your workplace perhaps has established certain culture and they have become accustomed to it.  But then you came and you start to do things differently. 

What do you mean by that? People in your workplace may have done corrupted services and you are starting to straighten things up and do otherwise.  What you are doing may try to disturb the usual flow.  People will automatically notice it.  They will notice you and you will soon become “popular”.  Since you shake the “boat”, there  can be consequences.  Either they will go with you or they will resist you and your presence so they do anything and everything they can in their own capacity to get rid of you (that is a super dooper ouch:-( ).

That can be one great deal of a struggle on your part.  But, this I tell you also, you may be alone but a person that does the right thing for God can never be lonely.  

You have God on your side so you have the strength of Someone guarding you from any of these harassments thrown against you. 

…so just continue to be different and make a difference wherever you are…J  Your presence is that small light that shines in the darkest of the night.  Your light must shine…God’s light should shine…J …NOWJ

P.S.  I've done it...and it is truly a super doooooper ...ouuuuuchhh!!!!

...and thanks mommy tins for sharing this in class...i truly miss you and your smart brilliant sharing in class:-) ( i just hope she would read this wheheheh mwah mwah)

Why?...Why?

http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/artists/306091480?view_mode=2

Are you familiar with this question?  WHY…Yes.  I ask this question when I need an explanation for me to understand something or a situation or an occurrence.  I asked why certain student just jumped from a 3-storey mall to end his life.  I asked why a lot of people have to die with the latest super typhoon Yolanda.  I asked a long time ago, why my mother had to die in that vehicular accident.  I asked why my friend had to die during that flash flood of the typhoon Sendong in 2011 and also killed so many of our people in Cagayan de Oro.

When my mother died, I did not understand everything. I walked like a “zombie”. I felt numb.  I was not even conscious that I became numb already.  I found it difficult to cry.   So when someone tried to comfort and explain to me what happened,  I refused to understand ( Hmmm one thing though.  Do not ever try to force someone under such great distress and make him/ her understand about God’s will or try to explain his or her situation.  You will get resistance.  That was what happened to me.).

I was consumed with so much anger.  An anger directed to God.  I was asking for WHY… I wanted an immediate answer but I felt like He was so silent.  My answer came years after when I was led by a Jesuit priest Fr. Frank, SJ for my self search and the search for the true God and this time with that journey in friendship with Him. 

True enough, I found the answer.  And the answer was not to ask the question WHY.  But to just journey and live with the moment regardless with our situation.  To simply trust in His wisdom.  There is a reason to which and why things have to happen.   And all else work for our good and  more than anything in His love as He continues to craft us into His Divine plan. 

One more thing though.  There is a temptation that we need to guard ourselves against.  To think that He does not exist.  That He does not care for us.  That He does not love us.  Well, how could God create us and just abandon us?  I do believe in my heart that it is contrary to His nature to do that.  He cannot resist loving us.  That’s Him and that is His nature. 

I had so many of those Why’s in my life.  But I was taught this other thing.  That for someone that trust the Lord, there is no place for such question.  Trust erases the question WHY.  It is replaced by the grace to resign to God’s will. 

You know what we lack?  Prayer…we need to pray and ask for the grace that we would be able to submit to His leading.  It should be His leading …His own hand guiding us not ours… If this happens…we need not ask WHY…J

PS…we do not wait for tragedies like typhoon or earthquake for us to get on our knees and pray.  This I tell you it was so hard for me to pray when I was in distress and in pain when my mother died.  So what we can do is to pray harder when the wind is steady and the sun is shining so bright.  That could be our “deposit” in times when there is a “withdrawal”… or  struggles and setbacks… J…so be stingy and focus with your deposits …through prayerJ

Pray As A Family

http://www.viewgoods.com/books/family-praying-together.html

I and my husband have special place for prayer.  Most of our dates when we were still singles would always start with the Eucharistic celebration and a rosary  before we go out and eat together.  We were not perfect couple though.  We falter a lot of times in our relationship but prayer strengthened as both and made us survive until we hopped into marriage.

The first night together after that joyful wedding started with the rosary.  It was such a beautiful dedication and thanksgiving to God after such a tedious preparation.  When I got pregnant two months after that,  what we constantly did every night was to touch my tummy during our prayer  time.  Despite the struggle with my delivery, it was a joyful thanksgiving  when we safely had her 7 months after (hhhmmm yes and again she was incubated for almost a month) the wedding. 

At the moment,  I could declare God’s goodness as I slowly see our daughter joyfully joining us in prayer at night.  She is such a lovely 1 year old girl that plays inside her crib every night and immediately stops when she realizes that its family prayer time.  Whether she would stay in her crib during prayer time or  stays in between me and my husband  trying to feel both our arms beside her.

What is my point in here?  I realize that the strength of a family lies not in our own skills and capacity to tame each other in a relationship or the skills to raise our children.  There is something more than the human capacity that cannot be seen but can be felt in spirit so positively moving each member of the family towards a life that we are called to do.  Prayer is our strong advocate against any form of temptation during those trying times in our family life.  Prayer should see us through and should be that life that should penetrate our family life like that of a blood that flows through our veins.

As for me and my family, prayer has taken its  roots.  I would not claim that I have such a perfect family life devoid of struggles and pains. Yet, with prayer, it led us  not to focus on the struggles but on the victories, graces and God’s presence felt among us as our love for each other is being purified.

Pray…pray as a family…Let us all bring our family to God…that is our mission as parents.:-)

God bless you all!

My Darling Little Girl

I have not really written much about my daughter lately.  You see she amazes me so much.  How can I not when at her very young age, she is able to do things that make me realize how beautiful she is and how generous our God to have gifted us as a couple with such a …ehem…again, a beautiful girl…J

Let me enumerate what she can do at this time at 1 year and 3 month old:

1.      She joins us in prayer every night behaving so well (hmmm sometimes she get to play too during prayer time but tries to observe and respond with her vowels babababa, papappapa, mamamma and giggles in between)

2.     She listens so intensely acting as if she is part of the conversation. 

3.     She can immediately associate and learn fast through imitation like raising her hands up, down, left, right, shakes and dances (even without music), hums songs, claps hands and raises her right hand pointing to Jesus’ photo every time I would say “Praise the Lord” (this one I did not teach her…she did this by herself) followed by the clapping of hands

4.     She is so intense with her A,B, C, D…video …this video is like her own little world watching so focused and undisturbed by any movement or sound outside of it.

5.     She smiles so beautifully that it melts my heart everytime she does that…she melts even my tiredness when I get home after work.

6.     She has her own crying scenes just to get my attention…which she successfully gets…(oooohhhh)

7.     She is so fond with playing now..appreciates different colors, shapes, and she kisses her pink doll’s cheek followed by her cute giggle..

8.     She likes looking at herself on the mirror.  She give herself her very cute smile

9.     She entertains guests in the house with her dance, clapping of hands and even shakes at their hands (I was totally shocked with this one…nobody taught her in the house).

10. She tried to place her leg straight up and reached as far as her head trying to give me and image of a ballet dancer and stretched her legs side ways…hmmm nobody again taught her that

11. She attempted to do tumbling in her crib which frightened me a bit…(this one I tried to stop her already ohhhhhhhhhhhh no no please…not now)

12. …and the cutest thing that she did was when she hopped in my arms when I got home and placed her head on my shoulder mumbling words that I did not understand but seemed to be telling me things that she did during the day (hmmm mommy is now interpreting)…and sometimes she gets to whisper this stuffs in my ears with my response trying to talk to her as if I understood everything hahahhaha…

As a neophyte mom… I feel so excited every step of the way and I await for the many more surprises that this one beautiful child of God can do.  God is so beautiful to have crafted and designed us in His perfect capacity through His love for all of us.  More than anything…again Maria Mikaela…my daughter is His beautiful, wonderful work of art that I and my husband joyfully share each day as a couple…as a  family of GodJ

Praise God!

A Looking Back

I was trying to sort my scattered life for atleast a month.  What do I mean by that?  I was into so many things that consumed me and they affected me emotionally.  To enumerate:

     1.      My daughter Maria Mikaela had some bouts of teething discomforts – fever, cough and colds.  A lot of times I panicked.  I do admit she is my greatest weakness at this time.  It brought out most of my talents and skills in taking care of my baby girl.  But a lot of times I felt lost realizing I am still a neophyte parent so I needed the wisdom of the olders ones.  Thank you Lord for the humility to accept my shortcomings

2.     I was in the middle of my preparation for the finals in my post graduate studies.  I was so tensed realizing that it was my last semester for my academics before I hop into my comprehensive examinations and then off for the final phase – dissertation …huh..  I had lots of those late night writings to do and studying.  Miracle of all miracles, I was able to finish them including my three chapters of research for dissertation (not really the final proposal paper but hoping that I would only revise a little from it…yepeeey and shouts for joy).

3.     Work.  Yes, my new teaching job in the public school.  Hmmmm, I was slowly picking up and adjusting with everything.  Thought it was not really such a big struggle but the 8 am change of time in for 2 weeks was such a big shift.  My regular time in is 11 am so at least I would have time to bathe my daughter, change her clothes, feed her, snuggle and just hug…and hug …and hug her… (I love so much to be consumed by her simple so giggly moods.  …sometimes we get to roll at the bed…and tell her lots of those invented stories that I have...).  But work yes.  Thanks be to God that I am picking up and slowly grasping the work culture that’s a lot different while I was in the private academic institution.  Thanks be to God for His constant guidance as I went through the month’s exams, checking of papers and in service trainings and some requirements to submit such as accomplishments for the month.

4.      I was elected President of an Alumni Association.  I was on the verge of giving up actually the position.  A lot of times, when I scheduled a meeting, my daughter’s health concern took over and I would rattle myself and cancel the schedules.   I felt guilty of the many things that could have been done.  Nevertheless, I declared that I could give it up for family…for my daughter.  She comes first.  Hmmm still waiting for my final declaration….in time…I will.. God help me.

Now I have another declaration…to keep this blog site alive.  I may not be writing a lot of lengthy blogs though but I will keep this alive though God’s grace and guidance.  Hmmm I seem to have felt my silence…slowly picking up …Thank you dear God.:-)