Why?...Why?

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Are you familiar with this question?  WHY…Yes.  I ask this question when I need an explanation for me to understand something or a situation or an occurrence.  I asked why certain student just jumped from a 3-storey mall to end his life.  I asked why a lot of people have to die with the latest super typhoon Yolanda.  I asked a long time ago, why my mother had to die in that vehicular accident.  I asked why my friend had to die during that flash flood of the typhoon Sendong in 2011 and also killed so many of our people in Cagayan de Oro.

When my mother died, I did not understand everything. I walked like a “zombie”. I felt numb.  I was not even conscious that I became numb already.  I found it difficult to cry.   So when someone tried to comfort and explain to me what happened,  I refused to understand ( Hmmm one thing though.  Do not ever try to force someone under such great distress and make him/ her understand about God’s will or try to explain his or her situation.  You will get resistance.  That was what happened to me.).

I was consumed with so much anger.  An anger directed to God.  I was asking for WHY… I wanted an immediate answer but I felt like He was so silent.  My answer came years after when I was led by a Jesuit priest Fr. Frank, SJ for my self search and the search for the true God and this time with that journey in friendship with Him. 

True enough, I found the answer.  And the answer was not to ask the question WHY.  But to just journey and live with the moment regardless with our situation.  To simply trust in His wisdom.  There is a reason to which and why things have to happen.   And all else work for our good and  more than anything in His love as He continues to craft us into His Divine plan. 

One more thing though.  There is a temptation that we need to guard ourselves against.  To think that He does not exist.  That He does not care for us.  That He does not love us.  Well, how could God create us and just abandon us?  I do believe in my heart that it is contrary to His nature to do that.  He cannot resist loving us.  That’s Him and that is His nature. 

I had so many of those Why’s in my life.  But I was taught this other thing.  That for someone that trust the Lord, there is no place for such question.  Trust erases the question WHY.  It is replaced by the grace to resign to God’s will. 

You know what we lack?  Prayer…we need to pray and ask for the grace that we would be able to submit to His leading.  It should be His leading …His own hand guiding us not ours… If this happens…we need not ask WHY…J

PS…we do not wait for tragedies like typhoon or earthquake for us to get on our knees and pray.  This I tell you it was so hard for me to pray when I was in distress and in pain when my mother died.  So what we can do is to pray harder when the wind is steady and the sun is shining so bright.  That could be our “deposit” in times when there is a “withdrawal”… or  struggles and setbacks… J…so be stingy and focus with your deposits …through prayerJ