This happened many years back with my cousin Ruel (thanks to Orvi for starting the white cow story hhahahhahah). My family was tending a small coffee farm attended by my Tiyoy Elias on our behalf. Yet there are some weekends that we had to visit it and them. One of those days, was when I was brought by my Tiyoy from home to the farm.
And so I and my cousin Ruel had all the time to play near the pineapple field bringing with us the old tire with the stick to maneuver its movements. Seeing some cows at a distance, we were frightened to move forward. So in the effort of pushing the cows away, we repeatedly threw some stones at them. Then the unexpected thing happened. Gigukod mi sa anak nga baka hahahhahahha...... waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...we were running like lost and crazy cows too. And we ran all over the place leaving behind the tire and stick. Facing each other to pause was like facing or seeing the red eyes of frightened cows hahahhahaha.
We could not imagine that time the "big blow" such experience made to both of us. We went home loosing all the energies to play. I am not sure if Ruel remembers everything I relate here (i wish he would read this...he is far, far away outside of the country and I have no way of contacting him - phone or email at the moment hehe) but I am certain that he would lose his breath laughing at this story.
Well, let's take a look at life's BIG BLOWS in this article not the white cow, old tire and stick (hahahhahah chillax friends).
We may be presented with events in our lives that can be considered big blows. I see big blows to be those that are really breath-takingly (if there is such a word) so big that the effect overwhelms us. Events such as deaths, loosing job, break-ups, friendships wasted and many others (my latest was my plane ride last July 2010 - terrible air pocket... which I thought was my last). But, sometimes what we consider small ones may be really big to some. All I know is, we have our own way of perceiving how "big" a situation can be.
Coping can be another thing. When I lost mama in an accident. I was lost too. The coping was the most difficult part. I almost stopped my studies, spent time alone and I hardly opened up. I wanted to shut off my world and perhaps die. I had difficulty putting them into words. There were lots of friends that gave me advices (as what they usually did that time - 1994). But I needed more of silent presence. Those who made themselves available even without saying anything.
Anyways...these are some of those that I learned given situations of life's "BIG BLOWS" :
1. Not to make haste decisions when they occur (except with the white cow race hahahahha. I needed to run).
2. Maintain an open disposition. Listen from most trusted friends for advice. I found having spiritual director (thanks to Fr. Frank Savadera, SJ) to be the best so far heheh (well with my SD...most of the time was like making me explore of myself side by side with my journey of friendship with Jesus)
3. I decided to get up and live each single day doing the usual stuff like brushing my teeth (hahahhah), take a bath, iron clothes, eat the right kind of food, exercise, go to Church, regular work, go to school on weekends ...the point is just to continue living ...
4. Letting our feelings out through a real good cry (made me get a good sleep after) relieves intense feelings of sadness, shock...whatever......as in super dooper relieving (but too much of this makes one sick heheh...this is from my experience ...more notes on this later)
5. I took a doze of rest and pulled out from the place, took some short vacations to take a fresh look and perspectives.
6. I prayed and prayed... really hard and harder and with all my might and begging for God's grace (actually ang hirap to be honest). And in those situations when I did not really feel like praying, it was when I decided to really push harder. But when I got really drained and tired, I rested but did not really quit... (sometimes I hear myself complaining to God.. i find it a privilege when I face MY FRIEND...)
7. My Spiritual director , Fr. Frank, surprisingly said, "stay ...just stay and feel the pain". This is one of the options that I am challenged to do. He added that there was a time when even with someone he did not like to be with, he tried doing it (to stay with the person) and saw how it changed him and the other ( i would like to stress on this further in another article).
Feeling it. Really feeling it shakes me to death. In the past, running away was the easiest and safest. And I was like struck with the idea of running away through the years just to ... feel safe and secure. Oh I love so much my "comfort zones".
But with something very new posted by Fr. Frank, i felt the challenge of doing it. I just started. It still frightens me, shakes me, consumes a lot of my energies. But mind you... I was conscious of the strength that comes with the courage of staying ...of the grace brought by the decision to "stay".
There can be lots of unknowns when I focus on feelings but when Fr. Frank told me about staying and lingering and feeling them. I thought what can be better than knowing myself more through this. Though I lost mama a long time ago but learning new things each day led me not to panic at all. To stay still and feel .... in it I found new wisdom such as the realization that all will come to pass including struggles and sufferings (the truth is...i am still struggling on this yet I am not stopping)
Lastly, to "stay still" is not only to learn more of myself but to learn more with how my God works in my most painful "BIG BLOWS" . White cows do not have to trigger me though or leave my old tire and stick because of fright. With BIG BLOWS...I JUST HAVE TO STAY STILL ...TO JUST... BE STILL:-)
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