My Darling Little Girl

I have not really written much about my daughter lately.  You see she amazes me so much.  How can I not when at her very young age, she is able to do things that make me realize how beautiful she is and how generous our God to have gifted us as a couple with such a …ehem…again, a beautiful girl…J

Let me enumerate what she can do at this time at 1 year and 3 month old:

1.      She joins us in prayer every night behaving so well (hmmm sometimes she get to play too during prayer time but tries to observe and respond with her vowels babababa, papappapa, mamamma and giggles in between)

2.     She listens so intensely acting as if she is part of the conversation. 

3.     She can immediately associate and learn fast through imitation like raising her hands up, down, left, right, shakes and dances (even without music), hums songs, claps hands and raises her right hand pointing to Jesus’ photo every time I would say “Praise the Lord” (this one I did not teach her…she did this by herself) followed by the clapping of hands

4.     She is so intense with her A,B, C, D…video …this video is like her own little world watching so focused and undisturbed by any movement or sound outside of it.

5.     She smiles so beautifully that it melts my heart everytime she does that…she melts even my tiredness when I get home after work.

6.     She has her own crying scenes just to get my attention…which she successfully gets…(oooohhhh)

7.     She is so fond with playing now..appreciates different colors, shapes, and she kisses her pink doll’s cheek followed by her cute giggle..

8.     She likes looking at herself on the mirror.  She give herself her very cute smile

9.     She entertains guests in the house with her dance, clapping of hands and even shakes at their hands (I was totally shocked with this one…nobody taught her in the house).

10. She tried to place her leg straight up and reached as far as her head trying to give me and image of a ballet dancer and stretched her legs side ways…hmmm nobody again taught her that

11. She attempted to do tumbling in her crib which frightened me a bit…(this one I tried to stop her already ohhhhhhhhhhhh no no please…not now)

12. …and the cutest thing that she did was when she hopped in my arms when I got home and placed her head on my shoulder mumbling words that I did not understand but seemed to be telling me things that she did during the day (hmmm mommy is now interpreting)…and sometimes she gets to whisper this stuffs in my ears with my response trying to talk to her as if I understood everything hahahhaha…

As a neophyte mom… I feel so excited every step of the way and I await for the many more surprises that this one beautiful child of God can do.  God is so beautiful to have crafted and designed us in His perfect capacity through His love for all of us.  More than anything…again Maria Mikaela…my daughter is His beautiful, wonderful work of art that I and my husband joyfully share each day as a couple…as a  family of GodJ

Praise God!

A Looking Back

I was trying to sort my scattered life for atleast a month.  What do I mean by that?  I was into so many things that consumed me and they affected me emotionally.  To enumerate:

     1.      My daughter Maria Mikaela had some bouts of teething discomforts – fever, cough and colds.  A lot of times I panicked.  I do admit she is my greatest weakness at this time.  It brought out most of my talents and skills in taking care of my baby girl.  But a lot of times I felt lost realizing I am still a neophyte parent so I needed the wisdom of the olders ones.  Thank you Lord for the humility to accept my shortcomings

2.     I was in the middle of my preparation for the finals in my post graduate studies.  I was so tensed realizing that it was my last semester for my academics before I hop into my comprehensive examinations and then off for the final phase – dissertation …huh..  I had lots of those late night writings to do and studying.  Miracle of all miracles, I was able to finish them including my three chapters of research for dissertation (not really the final proposal paper but hoping that I would only revise a little from it…yepeeey and shouts for joy).

3.     Work.  Yes, my new teaching job in the public school.  Hmmmm, I was slowly picking up and adjusting with everything.  Thought it was not really such a big struggle but the 8 am change of time in for 2 weeks was such a big shift.  My regular time in is 11 am so at least I would have time to bathe my daughter, change her clothes, feed her, snuggle and just hug…and hug …and hug her… (I love so much to be consumed by her simple so giggly moods.  …sometimes we get to roll at the bed…and tell her lots of those invented stories that I have...).  But work yes.  Thanks be to God that I am picking up and slowly grasping the work culture that’s a lot different while I was in the private academic institution.  Thanks be to God for His constant guidance as I went through the month’s exams, checking of papers and in service trainings and some requirements to submit such as accomplishments for the month.

4.      I was elected President of an Alumni Association.  I was on the verge of giving up actually the position.  A lot of times, when I scheduled a meeting, my daughter’s health concern took over and I would rattle myself and cancel the schedules.   I felt guilty of the many things that could have been done.  Nevertheless, I declared that I could give it up for family…for my daughter.  She comes first.  Hmmm still waiting for my final declaration….in time…I will.. God help me.

Now I have another declaration…to keep this blog site alive.  I may not be writing a lot of lengthy blogs though but I will keep this alive though God’s grace and guidance.  Hmmm I seem to have felt my silence…slowly picking up …Thank you dear God.:-)

God Painted that Beautiful Smile on My Face Through...

http://thelivingtruthfellowship.org/jtltf/ministry-news/211-you-are-now-free-to-move-about-your-face-and-smile

The other day I found myself wearing that beautiful smile on my face while I walked away from my second to the last class in the afternoon.  Yes, it was my students and the fulfilment at having served them even in that 15 to 20 minute discussion in class before they plunge into their activity writing.

I was a full time guidance counsellor for 10 years in the university (high school department) and taught part time in the graduate school particularly the subject career guidance.  It was just last July 2013 that I joined the department of education for teaching.  I found myself adjusting with the school environment.  But more than anything I adjusted more being out from the house and away from my dear daughter from lunch time to 7pm.

I feel that I sacrificed a lot being away from my daughter but I feel the merit of that everytime I feel that fulfilment when I engage in the classroom.  I have never felt more fulfilled in my professional life than what I have now.  And that one class encounter where I was all sweat in that very hot classroom of Grade 7 students in a public school where I am currently working.  And where there was lots of laughter and giggles from my students while we teased one 12 year old boy and I commented “you are cute… very cute and…and smart” brought that beautiful smile on my face.

Fulfilment does not really come from the grandest of position, salary or popularity but from the simplest of life’s encounters such as that one “little boy” that moved my heart and painted that beautiful smile on my face.

PS....i told my husband one night “ do you notice that i don’t really complain much lately? It is because...I feel that I am doing the right thing...for others”...SERVING GOD’S INNOCENT ONES

"Happiness is a Choice"

The following was an article that I submitted as one of the requirement in my post graduate studies....an article that we were asked reflect upon..written by Francis Kong, one of my favorite writers.

http://happinessaddicted.blogspot.com/2011/05/stumbling-on-happiness.html

When I read the article entitled “BEING HAPPY” it linked me to a learning that I started to embrace and espouse a long time ago – that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.  It has not escaped my attention hearing people everyday complaining about a lot of things.  From low salary, intense and erratic weather, too many work loads, too many bills to pay, misunderstanding with members of family and a lot more up to big concerns of the country and the world.

The author shared that happiness is a by-product of living a godly life.  I cannot disagree in such statement for a godly life for me is the ultimate purpose for which  we are placed in this world for.  It means we have that ultimate calling for us to fulfil.  Submitting to it would mean joy and happiness.  Yet we are caught with so many distractions in a day.  A lot of times we are derailed from our purpose and path.  That is why we see a lot of people who label their life as UNHAPPY  - discontented and unsatisfied. 

Yet still I contain with what I am embracing right now.  HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.  I might not be able to change or alter my situation but have a choice as to how I would interpret, perceive or look at a situation.  Even my feelings can change.  I have a control to it and  how I would manage it.  I cannot escape from its natural spurts yet I have a say as to how much of it would creep unto me.  I cannot be a victim to my own situation. 

I can declare happiness even the most painful situation and I have a God that gives me the strength and the grace not to be consumed by life’s usual concerns.

"At The End of the Day"

The following was an article that i wrote as one of the requirements in my post graduate studies based from the article written by Francis Kong....

I find the article very heartwarming.  “At the End of the Day”…what is it that really matters?  A  student asked me “why are you here in this school ma’am?  Why are you teaching?”  A colleague has told me “with your qualifications you could climb up the ladder of leadership”.  Hmmm.  First, I answered the student “I just want to teach”.

 And the other colleague “ with the complicated process, I guess found out what really matters for me at this time…that is to go home to a family – my beautiful husband with his embrace and my beautiful girl that innocently responds with her intense desire through her eyes to be embraced everytime I get home”.

In my current work, I am assigned to teach and do counselling at from mid day to 8pm.  And when the clock strikes 8:00pm, I would rush at the school gate to time out so that I could get fast ride home.  At the jeepney I would excitedly “daydream” of my family, pray for their safety, and scan so many beautiful views in my mind.  Sometimes they would lead me to tears. 

Truly since I got married, I felt a sense of distaste with competition.  I have encountered a big re-routing such that I found more contentment with my family life than the glamour of competitions and promotions so desired and ran after by many.  I shared with one of my professors that I once had a chat with that I have found more meaning with what I am doing than the life I once had related to career and profession.

I found myself silently treading my path and balancing my life right now.  There is more life that is  commitment with family, spending and “waste” a lot of time with them.  I rarely even go out with friends.  I realized how my life has found its true anchor in love through my family.  But, I could not totally reject the older one because it has become my point of learning.  It has become the basis of comparison and a springboard to finding a much better meaning to where I am right now. 

I can never trade what I currently have with any wealth in the world.  And as I found God to be my ultimate and true rest at the end of the day,  it is my husband and little girl that has become my venue of extending my “rested and in love heart”.  

“For I Shall Not Pass This Way Again"

google.com photo

One day my husband scheduled himself to go somewhere but was held by our daughter’s loud cry.  He then picked her up with the following statement :  “  I decided to stay and just cuddle Mikay (our daughter Makaela)…one day in the future…we will not be able to do with her what we are able to do now”.  Exactly…shall I put a little drama in it by quoting this line…”for I shall never pass this way again”.     

We do shower our daughter with our love and care and we have seen she blossomed into a very happy baby.  She simply spreads her sunshine of giggles and smiles anytime awake or asleep.  She looks at you as if you are the only person in her world at each moment she rests her eyes on you.  She looks at  you like she wanted you to pick her up and just play with her.  She mumbles and responds as if she is talking to us while we talk to her about anything.  She is such a beauty and so perfect as she is.  And I thank the Lord everyday for sharing such a beautiful innocent soul to us couple. 

You what I fear the most and is something that I refuse to admit to myself?  It is to die young and not being able to see my daughter grow up, have a career and get married or whatever vocation she my pursue (hmmm daddy fears that she will join religious life hahahha).

Buuut, let me not go far from the title.  Let me not think or be afraid of death.  Let me just look at my moments with our daughter.  As my husband responded with his moment with our daughter by wrapping her in his arms, my time with Mikaela is so precious that I could not just trade it with any other moments outside of the home (hmmm except work).  Do you know that I hop into or run after a jeepney to be able to get a ride fast home?  I do not mind at all doing that.  I just want to be with her at night and put her to bed.  What is so touching  is that she waits for me to be home (no matter how tired she is) before she dozes off to sleep (ohhh my lovely little lady).

I almost forgot we do pray the rosary together before she sleeps.  And  when she is too tired,  I continue to pray while she sleeps soundly in my arms.

Hmmmm.  Let me do it now… for my family…for my dear daughter…”for I shall not pass this way again…” J

“The Best Teacher Can Teach Even Under a Mango Tree”

oopps that is not my student hahahahhaa

It was my classmate in the graduate school that mentioned this in class.  I was struck with this line.  You know why?  I have been so dependent with technology – computer, LCD projector, etc.  I could hardly recall a time when I presented my reports without these stuffs.  I never imagined my seminars and workshops without it.  If others have updated themselves with really very powerful gadgets, I still find myself on its way to updating or perhaps buy a tablet to make it lighter for me to carry (huh I do carry big bag for my laptop).  And I could hardly imagine myself going back to  writing on a manila paper or bring a small black board under that “mango tree” while I teach.

Oh I almost forgot to mention, I am now back to full time teaching and counselling.  First and foremost since I am into teaching, I am looking for other means other than the use of technology to make my class presentations interesting. Manila paper can be one.  But as I researched from other colleagues, one of whom is asthmatic, he brings his own television screen attached to his laptop to promote his paperless  and chalk-less (wheheheh)presentations.  Wow that is something else.

But hey, I am still thinking of my classmate’s line “the best teacher can teach even under a mango tree”, I immediately thought  “really?”.   I found it amazing.  I seemed to feel like really my first time to hear it which triggered my curiosity.  I am always apt to any challenge and learn better.  How is that?  This kind of teacher that tries to shape and fit a particular learning encounter with students interests despite the limited visual aids,  can be considered truly the best. 

Hhaha now do I want to gain the title “The best teacher that ever landed on planet earth”?  Not really (hahahah crazy ha).  I am just trying to look for the simplest ways of presenting a lesson in class yet, maximizing learning.  And since I am now connected with public education, I am dealing with simple students that deserve to get what they ought to equally learn like those students from the private schools. 

Hmmm…let me climb first the “mango tree” in order to see better how I would go about presenting my lessons.  Or perhaps the mango tree has a better idea.  Hahahaha crazy me…now lets go to the mango tree and sit together whahahahhahaha…toinks.

Maria Mikaela Turned One Year Old

As I listened from husband’s simple welcome speech to our guests at our daughter’s simple birthday party (July 28, 2013 at the Dynasty Hotel and Restaurant) before our family members and very close friends, I realized how time has gone fast.  My husband was tracing how one year ago we struggled with my unexpected delivery “…and now she is in front of us healthy, big and strong”. 

While my husband did that, I had such mixed emotions.  I was also filled with pride looking at our cute daughter sitting in front of my husband playfully clapping her hands as if cheering her dad.  I was so overwhelmed by that site.  I love them both so much.  I knew then that I would do everything by God’s grace to keep my family intact, alive and truly in service to God. 

I would like also to honor God’s  for His bounty at the same time such that, celebrating Maria Mikaela’s birthday at the hotel was unexpected.  We had it all planned and to just hold it home.  Yet, I was sick for days and I was so tired when I got home from work ( I am now back with my full time job teaching and counselling).  Realizing the little difference in the expense if we hold it at the hotel made us hop into such decision. 

It was only a 1 and a half day preparation.  We did not even prepare invitation.  The good thing with technology was that, we just sent txt messages to our relatives in Bukidnon and some close friends and sponsors of Mikaela during her christening.  I and our house assistant Welma landed on a Saturday at a one-stop shop where we would all stuffs for kids and had the tarpaulin done before I joined my Saturday class at the Graduate school. 

I thought that if I pursued having it at home, I would have been absent in class and sleep really late at night.  But then we were so relaxed.  My sister Gay was the usual errand bringing all the ordered stuffs like cake and lechon and bringing us all to the hotel with all our stuffs (including Mikaela’s crib…hahah it’s a folded crib so it just looked like one of those travelling bags we brought to the hotel).

Welma with her friend Cassandra decorated the place with balloon together with one of the hotel staffs.  Food was served buffet.  There was really  no prepared formal program .  I just hopped into the microphone to be the automatic emcee of the party.  I bravely thought that I have done it with other people’s birthdays and wedding,  so I could not resist my very own daughter’s very special and memorable first birthday.

It went well as I ran though my handwritten flow of the  program with those hastily prepared list of the games that I thought might bring in fun to the party.  My daughter was a little agitated in the earlier part of the program since she was not really used to loud voice around her plus my very loud voice when I used the microphone.  So we decided to “ship” her at the back of the room in my husband’s arms.  It was a fun fun time. 

Then came the blowing of her candle which I did  myself since its obvious that Mikaela did not have that capacity yet.  But we made it sure that she would be able to witness everything.  As I brought the cake in front of her, I saw how her eyes lit with excitement and curiously she surveyed it. 

From there she had to be brought up to our room to rest since she was obviously tired after such a "long" and tiring celebration.  She was not used to big celebrations yet she patiently stayed and had fun aside from being transferred from one guest's arm to the other for pictorial from time to time.

I was very tired …yes…and having been sick for 3 days.  I thank God for the grace to be able to stand firm in that moment joyful moment that we had as a family.  We love our daughter so much that we wanted her (despite not being able to understand our initiative) when she grow up to look back through photos how her first birthday was memorably celebrated by our family together with our relatives and friends.

Thank you dear God for blessing us with a wonderful and beautiful little girl by the name of MARIA MIKAELA:-)

Kuya Kurt, uncle Jun, kuya rock, kuya Kurt and ate girl2

Daddy's speech time

dancing time with the kids

Uncle Dennis and Auntie Gay

cousins kuyas and ate Kurt, Rock, Girl2 and friends Kookie and Julia

Doc Ronnie, Koobie and Anton

Neighbors Mrs. Talingtingan with daughter Trisha, hubby Tyrone and daughter Tahnya

Atty Roel, Meg and daughter Fiya

sis Gay, ninangs Lolitz and Nina with Ninong Rodel and Tito Ronnie

Lolo Pops

Tito Nono, cousin ate Patricia and ateJane

Lolo Pops with ate Welma, Jane and Paticia

Kuya Nickey with lalabs ate Shai

Doing One Small Act Of Kindness

google.com images

I was so busy today.  I was procuring documents for my license application at PRC.  I had to meet people at school that could help me out with what I needed to produce for this license.  The final part was to go to an internet café to encode and print some documents for the final submission.  While waiting for the printed materials I caught a little boy with a blank gaze sitting  near the door of the café.  He looked so messy, wore tattered clothes, pale and looked like he has not bathed for a month or more.

I held myself from looking at him.  Yet I knew that I was bothered by the site.   I starting to think of my own daughter that I dearly and carefully take care each day.  I was then running the thought “Feed me today”.  All of a sudden I was on the verge of tears.  Did I just imagine that line or Someone may be dictating me to do that.  But I said “no”.  I would be embarrassed in front  of everyone in this café. 

Yes.. Embarrassed was the word that I was thinking.  I did not want people around running the word “hypocrite” in their mind.  “Or was I really a hypocrite?”.  I was trying to validate my own thoughts.  After a short while the printed documents were handed to me.  I decided to settle at one side so that I could arrange all of my documents  before I would rush to the Philippine Regulations Commission’s (PRC – Region 10) office. 

While I was doing that I was trying to steal another glance at that little boy that at this time looked like “catatonic”.  What I meant was, he seem to be not moving at all and so unaffected by any customers that passed him by from time to time.  I was holding my breath.  I was deeply hoping that he would notice me and may perhaps ask me for some money or food to eat.  But there was no sign or any hint that he would be doing that.   

 

I remember what the priest that celebrated the Eucharist at lunch time mentioned before he gave his final blessing “do any act of kindness today”.  And I was again moved to tears that I just held so as to still compose myself despite the struggle to extend myself to that one boy in need.  I then prayed for courage.  I already felt that time  that I was not imagining that voice inside me that said “Feed me today”.  I had to feed that boy that moment.  I bravely stood up, approached him and asked “did you eat your lunch?”.   Did I just say “bravely”? hahahaa.  I never thought it would take such huge bucket of energy to be able to approach him in that situation.  

He was not at all responsive with that question and gave me that blank look.  I repeated “do you want to eat your lunch”.  He nodded.  Then I said “come with me”. 

With that I was no longer conscious who those people that witnessed  my invitation.  I was armed with courage to make that one boy in need to make him eat that moment.  I saw the need.  I responded.  If I was his mother I would not do anything in the world to just leave him on the street.  I will take good care of him at least in that …moment.

I brought him to a barbecue station.  He was sort of shocked to see varieties of food that I pointed for him to choose from so that he could have a good lunch.  I bought them and asked one of the servers “palihug ko atimana siya”  (please  take care of him) since I was already rushing.  He did not look at me since his eyes were busy with his food being prepared in front of him.  I payed  and tried to steal one last look at him trying to check if he was fine before I went out of that barbecue station. 

I was like floating when I went out.  You know why?  I realized that just one small act of kindness was like that sparkling water cleansing me from my selfishness and self centeredness. One small act of kinds created a miracle in a day not only for me but perhaps to those that may have “accidentally” witnessed such event.

I realized also that it is not the fear to be embarrassed in front of others but the fear to be talked about and labelled by others contrary to the gesture.  It is the pride to protect myself from others’ speculating and judging eyes.

Perhaps I got embarrassed because I rarely do it.  I guess I just have to do it more often so that I may not be so conscious of what others say.  I needed to get used to doing acts of kindness so that I would be healed from being so focused with myself.

Can you relate with that?

PS…That voice was God’s inviting me to “Feed Him …today” through that one boy that needed food to eat.

Guide Questions:

1.      How would you be able to extend your “one small act of kindness” today?

The BEST DADDY In the World

Best Daddy in the World

It will always be a family bias.  Naming members of our family as the BEST.  My daughter's daddy will always be that for me (no more fights please hahahah) and I guess our daughter feels the same.  

This is the first Fathers' day that my husband is officially called a father / daddy to our little girl Maria Makaela.  When he celebrated his birthday last June 6, I surprised him with a cake with the greeting on it "Happy birthday Daddy Mike".  He awkwardly said with his shy smile) that he is not used to it yet grateful for such initiative (thanks to my sister Gay for choosing such line for him).

A simple cake for my beautiful hubby and
daddy to Mikaela

I want so much to make my husband happy.  I know that I have not really pleased him a lot of times  with how I have behaved since we got married yet, I always feel his acceptance and forgiveness.  My husband is a simple man.  With that simplicity also comes his very practical approach to life.  I do respect him in a lot of ways including his great sacrifice for our family.  

On my husband's birthday - June 6, 2013

My husband is such a rare kind of man.  I can see how he has learned to take care of the entire family including his initiative to take care of our daughter when I am not around the house despite the loads of books that he had to read to prepare for his BAR exams.  He learned how to bathe our daughter, change her diaper, put her to sleep, monitors our daughter's supply and does the shopping himself and so many, many more.

He has temporarily forgone his desire to take the BAR exams the previous year to focus on the primary needs of our family including his financial support with my post graduate studies.   For that I do admire him  very much.  Thus, I thought so much of supporting him.

At the moment, I strive so hard to be able to get a full time job for me to take over with family expenses and for him to give way to getting his desire done so that he would become a lawyer  someday ...soon.  I know that he wants so much to have his private time so that he could focus, yet I can see also that he can't just let go his involvement with taking care of  our dear daughter.  It pains my heart to see how his desire is set a aside for a while.  Yet I can see how happy he is also with the sacrifice that he is extending.

Our daughter's fancy ...to entertain herself
 even without a playmate

I know that one day our God will reward this one great man's sacrifice - my man, my husband and father of Mikaela.  I know that one day he will become God's beautiful Lawyer.  

PS.  It has always been his prayer to be a good Christian Lawyer...He thinks so much of serving God through this profession.  At the moment  I think He has served God so well being my husband, father to our daughter and being a good provider to our family.

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY HON:-)  I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH:-)